


Master Arturia

by Pandora54321



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Archer Gil is too powerful to be a protagonist and he needed a handicap, BUT WAIT FOR IT, Comedy, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gil and Arty are the main focus of this fic however, I don’t know how I’ll survive not writing smut every chapter, Its Caster Gil!, No this isn’t kinky smut i swear, Romance, Romantic Comedy, She summons gil as her servant for the HGW, archer Gil is in this but he’s a villain at the end, arturia has a phobia of tentacles and tentacle rape, as a good ol mana transfer!, btw Shirou doesn’t summon Arturia he summons a different servant from avalon, but guess who’s only a four star servant?, casgil!, every character is played up for laughs don’t expect anything in character, i forgot to mention that Rin and Arturia have sex, i love that ship I can’t help it, if youve read strange fake you already know who, its a romcom, its a scenario where Arturia is a master, its like a crack fic but super long, so he’s our protagonist for this fanfiction, the comedy in here is terrible, the smut is actually close to the end, which is explained in the second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 122,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora54321/pseuds/Pandora54321
Summary: Arturia thus far has lived a normal life as the daughter of a mage family. Today, the war she’s always waited for begins. By luck, whether it be good or bad, she summons the King of Heroes as her servant. What happens when this servant turns her world upside down? And why the hell is he asking her to be his wife?
Relationships: Artoria Pendragon | Saber/Tohsaka Rin, Gilgamesh | Archer/Artoria Pendragon | Saber, Gilgamesh | Caster/Artoria Pendragon | Saber
Comments: 161
Kudos: 216





	1. Chapter 1

Arturia finished drawing the line of mercury with her finger. ‘Alright. It’s ready.’ She stood up and readied herself. ‘The fifth grail war is starting. With my servant, I will win the grail and fulfill my duty as Britain’s king.’ She began the ritual. “Heed my words. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. If you heed the Grail’s call, and obey my will and reason, then answer me.” Light began to emanate from the magic circle in front of her. “I hereby swear that I shall defeat all evil in the world. Seventh heaven clad in the great words of power! Come forth from the circle of binding, Guardian of the Scales!” 

Suddenly there was a flash and Arturia was sent tumbling onto the ground. Her right hand stung like hell. When she opened her eyes, there was a man standing before her. Unbeknownst to her, she had just summoned the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh. 

“What mongrel decided to summon me from the Throne of Heroes?” Gilgamesh said. “Hmm?” He looked down at Arturia and raised a brow. He stepped closer and bent down to examine her, then straightened himself and put his hand on his hip. “Are you not a bit young to be summoning heroes from legends to participate in a bloody war between mages? Honestly, do they not have age restrictions for these things?” 

Arturia was somewhat bewildered by the man’s words. “What? What kind of a question is that?!” The question was absurd and, not to mention, insulting. He was dismissing her competence solely by her age. The confusing part, however, was that she wasn’t too terribly young to be participating in the war. She blinked and tried to steady her thoughts. “Wait, how old do you think I am?” 

“Twelve?” He guessed. 

“I’m seventeen!” Arturia said, rising from the ground and standing at her full height. 

Gilgamesh appeared somewhat confused. He took a closer look at Arturia’s body. “I see. So you’re just extremely flat-chested and vertically challenged. That’s quite reassuring.” 

Arturia stood in shock at the blunt words. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!” 

“King Gilgamesh. You should know me by sight, mongrel.” Gilgamesh said. “Now that that has been cleared up, we should begin with the terms of our contract. First, you will acknowledge me as your king and worship me as such; second, as a woman, you will offer me sex whenever I please; and third, you will never use a command spell without my permission.” He said this with a satisfied, dominating grin on his face. 

Arturia clenched her fists at the suggestions. Her muscles tensed and she scrunched her face in fury. “These terms are _ridiculous._ ” 

Gilgamesh’s grin fell and he watched her, face impassive save for his narrowed eyes, revealing his annoyance. “You dare question me, mongrel?” 

“Look, I don’t care about my chastity, and I’m sure there are rules we can set regarding command spells, but I will _never_ acknowledge another as my king.” 

Gilgamesh lifted his chin to look down at Arturia. “And why is that?” 

“Because I am King Arthur Pendragon of Britain, and I will never relinquish my rule or submit to another!” 

There was a long silence. 

‘Holy shit she is insane.’ Gilgamesh thought. He studied her face, and found that she was dead serious. ‘Great. I got stuck with a crazy little girl as my master.’ 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Arturia asked. 

“Of course not. Servants are given basic knowledge of the present and past upon summoning, and I know for a fact that King Arthur died over a millennia ago. Also, King Arthur was a man.” 

“I was secretly a woman named Arturia that took on the guise of a man in order to become king. It’s a long story. It’s true that I’m just a reincarnation of my former self. I only have my memories and my sword skills to prove my identity. But I am King Arthur, and I retained the wish I had at my final battle at Camlann. I will obtain the holy grail and redo history to save my homeland.” 

‘A girl filled with regrets pining for a wish far out of her reach? That’s kind of hot!’ Gilgamesh thought. He studied her up and down, taking a particular amount of time on her breasts, hips, and face. ‘She’s gorgeous too. This girl might truly be worthy of my affection, but I cannot get ahead of myself.’

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Arturia asked. 

“Let’s be clear, you want to win the Holy Grail in order to go back in time and redo your rule as king, changing the history that you made?” 

“Yes.” Arturia answered. 

Gilgamesh deliberated for a few more seconds. “I’ve made my decision. Arturia, what’s your marital status?” 

Arturia scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. “I’m only seventeen. Of course I’m not married.” 

“Great! So you’ll still be a virgin when we consummate our wedding!” 

“WHAT?!” 

“A maiden’s virginity was very important in my time, though it would not be a great problem for me if you weren’t a virgin. It still would be preferable if you were, since I would like to be your first orgasm.” 

“Hold on! Take about twenty steps back! What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Our marriage.”

“What marriage?!”

“Oh right, I forgot to propose. Silly me.” Gilgamesh dropped down onto one knee. “Arturia Pendragon, will you accept the honor of becoming my wife and lover?” 

“No.” 

There was a pause. 

“Well that didn’t go as I thought it would.” Gilgamesh said, standing from his semi-recumbent posture. 

“What the hell were you expecting?!”

“You should have said something like ‘of course I’ll marry you, Gilgamesh-sama! Please take my virginity! Kyaa~” Gilgamesh said while mimicking a high-pitched girl voice. 

“Why the hell would I say something like that?!”

‘Categorically denying my marriage proposal and completely opposing me? That’s even hotter!’ Gilgamesh thought. “Yes, you are definitely a woman worthy of my affection.” 

“We haven’t even formed a servant pact yet, and yet you’re trying to marry me?” 

“Ah right, the Holy Grail War. I almost forgot.” 

“You forgot about the Grail War?!” 

“Alright, I’ll be your servant. But I would much rather be your husband. I’m of the Caster class and, as I’ve previously told you, my True Name is Gilgamesh.” 

Arturia calmed down from the excitement of the previous ten minutes. “I’ll do my best as your master, heroic spirit Gilgamesh.” They shook hands, formally sealing their contract. “First order of business, you’re putting on a shirt.” 

“You want me to change my clothes?!” 

“Have you _seen_ the outfit you’re wearing? In this house, we wear shirts like normal people.” 

“I refuse to change my clothing just because you don’t like it!” 

“Really? I don’t like immodest men. I would never marry one.” 

‘Is she trying to use my love to manipulate me? Gods, why is she so _hot_.’ Gilgamesh thought. 

“I have some clothes you can wear, come on.” 

—-

Gilgamesh stepped out of the bathroom in a plain blue button up with sleeves rolled to his elbows and white pants. “Is this outfit not a bit _plain_ for a king?” 

“If you need fancy jewelry and nice clothing to justify your kingship, then you’re hardly a king at all to begin with.” Arturia said. 

“...fuck that. I’m putting on some jewelry.” Gilgamesh took out two bracelets and a necklace from his Gate of Babylon. 

Arturia stared in awe. “Is that your noble phantasm?” 

“Yes. My noble phantasm is my Gate of Babylon. In my lifetime I collected every treasure known to man, including the wands and mystic codes that allowed me to be summoned into the Caster class.” 

“Wow.” Arturia paused. “How powerful are you?” 

“Powerful enough to win as long as you act as a competent master.” Arturia smiled at his reply. Gilgamesh finished fastening the necklace on his neck. “By the way, whose clothing is this?” 

“My father’s.” Arturia replied. 

“And where is he now?” 

“Dead.” 

“I see.” Gilgamesh said. “Well, his clothing fits me, so his life wasn’t entirely useless.” 

“You motherfucker.” 

“So you live alone in this house?” 

“Yes, but only for the past three years. After my parents died, my older brother Kay and I lived together in this house. Once he finished highschool and turned eighteen, he took his portion of my parents' will and moved to another country. I still don’t know where he is. Last time we talked on the phone I heard someone talking to him in Spanish and calling him ‘francesco’. I don’t know how he makes money now, but considering he won’t tell me where he is or what he does, it’s probably illegal.” 

“...okay.” 

“Come on, I’ll show you to your room.” Arturia led Gilgamesh down the hall. She opened a door and walked inside. “This used to be Kay’s bedroom. My room is right next to it. I think we should stay close to each other in case we get attacked in the night.” 

“How about I stay with you in your room and sleep with you in your bed? I will be able to protect you much more efficiently that way.” 

“No. It would be too cramped in my bed. Plus, I don’t trust you.” 

“You’re my wife, I would not do something perverted to you while you sleep.” Gilgamesh reasoned. He certainly was having perverted thoughts about her, but he wasn’t so impatient that he’d take her without consent. He wanted to try winning her love first, that sounded much more fun. Plus, he knew Enkidu wouldn’t approve of such a thing, the same way they didn’t approve of him fucking virgins on their wedding nights. Besides, doing anything sexual to Arturia while she was unconscious seemed rather boring. 

“I’m not your wife.” Arturia stated. 

“You’re so cute when you’re wrong.” Gilgamesh smiled. 

“Your delusions aside, I’m glad to be working with you. I hope that we’ll prevail in our mission of obtaining the Holy Grail together.” Arturia smiled. 

—-

“Arturia, wake up. You have been sleeping all day.” Gilgamesh said, shaking her awake. 

Arturia sat up groggily. “Caster?” Arturia rubbed the sleep from her eyes. ‘Why am I so tired? I can usually get up in the mornings just fine. The summoning must have been more taxing than I imagined.’ 

“This house is boring without you. I decided not to wake you up earlier, but you’ve been sleeping forever. The clock in your living room says it’s already two p.m. Honestly, as a wife, you should not be neglecting your husband like this, even to sleep.” 

“T-two?! Why didn’t my alarm clock wake me up?!” Arturia turned to look at her bedstand, but the alarm clock was missing. “My alarm clock is gone!” 

“Oh that thing. It’s over there. Or what is left of it anyway.” Gilgamesh pointed to the corner of the bedroom, where scattered pieces of the alarm clock laid.

“You broke it?!”

“It woke me up, so, naturally, I destroyed it. I also didn't want it to disturb your sleep.” 

“Caster, It’s an alarm clock, it’s supposed to disturb your sleep!” Arturia examined the broken pieces of the alarm clock, finding that it could not be fixed, to her dismay. 

“I know. But you were so cute that I didn't want to wake you up.” Gilgamesh said. 

Realization dawned on Arturia. “Caster...did you watch me while I slept?” 

“Only for an hour or so.” 

Arturia’s mouth dropped open. “For a whole hour?! What the hell were you doing?!” 

“Examining your body. You passed every test. Your waist is nice and slim, your hips are pretty good for your size, your hair is soft, your face is beautiful, your lips look very kissable, and though your breasts are small, they fill my hands quite nicely.” Gilgamesh said with a satisfied expression. “I expected no less from the woman destined to be my wife.”

If Arturia had been more of a woman, she would have blushed. Instead, she merely felt angry and violated. She slapped him hard on the cheek, infusing mana into the blow. 

“What the hell was that for?!” Gilgamesh yelled. His cheek burning and beginning to redden. 

“Do you know how disrespectful it is to ‘examine’ a person’s body?!” 

“You are my wife! I see no problem with it!” 

“I’m not your wife! I rejected your proposal!”

“Then you are my fiancée.”

“Nope.”

“Lover.”

“No.”

“Beloved.”

“Not at all.”

“Significant other?”

“Not a chance.”

“I’m running out of words, Arturia!”

“We are acquaintances! Partners in the Holy Grail War! That’s all!”

“No way! You are the woman of my dreams! There’s no way I could be reduced to a mere partner in a contract!” 

“That’s all we are! Partners!” Arturia groaned. There was suddenly a sharp pain in the side of her head. “I’m going to get breakfast.” She stormed past Gilgamesh. Arturia set them rice cooker to reheat and took a loaf of bread out of the cabinet. 

“Are you cooking?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’m preparing food. I doubt this could be called cooking, though.” Arturia grumbled. She put two slices of bread into the toaster. Then she began brewing two cups of instant coffee. 

“Are you making some for me too?”

“I’m pissed at you, but I’m mature enough to at least feed my guest.” The toast popped out of the toaster and Arturia put the two slices on plates. “We have blueberry and strawberry jam. Which do you want?”

“I have never tasted either of those fruits.”

“Blueberry it is.” Arturia spread jam onto both slices. She put the reheated rice into bowls and set them on the table, along with the plates of toast and cups of coffee. She purposefully placed Gilgamesh’s food on the opposite side of the table so that he’d be sitting across from her rather than next to her. Thankfully, he didn’t notice this purposeful distancing and sat down where she placed the food. Arturia took a bite of rice and felt slightly better. Her head was no longer pounding from her servant’s actions. 

Gilgamesh took a bite of his food. He found that it was about as mediocre as it looked (he did, however, enjoy the taste of the blueberry jam). He opened his mouth to speak. 

“I swear to god if you say I need better cooking skills as a wife, I will stab you with these chopsticks.” Arturia interrupted. 

“I was not planning on saying anything of the sort.”

Arturia looked down in slight guilt. “I’m sorry, I jumped to conclusions.” 

“You are wife to a king. You would have no need for cooking skills. Queens don’t need to cook. Cooking is a job for the mongrels.” 

Arturia felt her headache coming back. 

“I was actually going to ask about your clothes.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia looked down at the plain, oversized button down shirt she was wearing. “What about them?” 

“Did that also belong to your father?” Gilgamesh had noticed that the shirt looked like it would fit him whilst he was examining Arturia’s body. 

“Yes. Is there something wrong with that?” 

“Well, I suppose not; I ask merely in idle curiosity. Do you wear it for sentimentality purposes?” 

Arturia put down her bowl of rice in sheer annoyance. “No. I’m not a child. I wouldn’t cling to a piece of fabric for comfort.”

It was strange to Gilgamesh to hear that she’d liken sentiment to childishness, especially in regards to grief. “Then are you not able to afford clothing for yourself?” The house she lived in was sadly simple after all. At least he would be able to help her, if that was the case. He didn’t possess the currency of modern day japan but gold speaks in all eras. 

“No. I have what my parents left in their will and I make money waiting tables.” 

Gilgamesh rested his cheek on his palm. “Then why do you wear someone else’s clothing?”

“It’s functional. Once I grew out of my old pajamas, I decided to just wear my father’s old clothing instead of buying new ones. I determined that these baggy shirts served the basic functions of a nightgown just fine. It saved both time and money.” Arturia took a sip of her coffee. She noticed the lack of reply from Gilgamesh. “What, aren’t you going to admonish me for wearing hand-me-downs as wife to a king?” 

“I am glad to see that you’re accepting your role as queen, even if only with sarcasm.” Gilgamesh began, much to Arturia’s chagrin. “But no. The privilege of royalty isn’t to be able to wear fancy clothing, it’s ultimate freedom of choice.” Arturia looked at him with a confused expression, so he sighed and elaborated. “If a King is forced to wear fancy clothing and jewelry, is it not the same as being forced to wear rags? The privilege of a king is to be able to dress however they please. I just prefer to dress luxuriously. While I would prefer you dress in finery I gift you, I certainly cannot admonish you for dressing as you please.” 

Arturia looked down into her half-empty bowl of rice. “I see. I shouldn’t have assumed.” She didn’t know much about him. She shouldn’t be jumping to so many conclusions about his beliefs. 

“Besides, I think you look pretty cute in that oversized shirt. It is not very revealing on top, but it shows quite a bit of leg. It makes for a good view.” 

Arturia’s annoyance returned. “Caster, could you please stop saying such things to me?”

“I wish you would stop calling me that. You should call me Gilgamesh, like a real wife would. We should be on a first name basis as lovers.” 

‘Deep breaths, Arturia, deep breaths.’ Arturia thought to herself while steadying her breath. 

Gilgamesh continued flirting with her throughout the rest of the meal. Arturia washed the dishes and went back to her room to change out of pajamas. She returned holding her book bag. She sat at the table and opened up a textbook, then began taking notes in a notebook. 

“What are you doing?” Gilgamesh asked, curiously peeking over Arturia’s shoulder. 

“I missed school today, so I’m working on today's lessons.” Gilgamesh kept staring at her while she was working, and it got on Arturia’s nerves. “Go to your room. I’m trying to focus.” 

“What am I supposed to do while I wait?” 

“Read a book or something. Just let me focus.” 

Gilgamesh sighed and walked into his room. He sat down on the bed. ‘She is so cold to me. It is extremely hot but I can’t help but wish she was a bit more, well, wife-like.’ For that to happen, he needed to get Arturia to warm up to him. ‘I have never courted a woman romantically before. How do men express their feelings for women they like?’ He’d never run into this predicament while alive. After all, he’s never found a woman worthy of his love before. ‘The obvious answer would be sex. If I show her one of the worlds greatest pleasures, she may just fall into my arms.’ But would that really be enough? Plus, there was no guarantee that she’d even have sex with him. The night before, she gave off the impression that she wanted nothing to do with his love or him in general (other than being partners in the Grail War). How else do you get a woman to like you? Gilgamesh sprung up from the bed. “I got it! I will buy her a gift!” 

He decided he wanted to surprise her, so he dematerialized and left the house. 

—-

Gilgamesh walked down the streets of Fuyuki, not really knowing where he was going. ‘In a city, there’s typically residential districts and shopping districts. I just need to find the latter.’ He wandered until he happened upon a pedestrian, and asked for directions. Finally, he found a street lined with stores. ‘What is a good gift for a woman?’ Then, a realization struck him. ‘I have no currency of the modern era.’ He doubted that they’d let him pay with gold coins. ‘Gold still must have worth. Perhaps I could trade some for money?’ 

Gilgamesh ended up having to rely on another pedestrian for information. He was pointed in the direction of a pawn shop nearby. 

He stepped through the doors to the shop. There were only a few customers, looking at various items of relative value. The owner of the shop stood behind the counter. Gilgamesh walked up to him and dropped a very large block of gold onto the counter. “How much can I get for this?” 

The store owners jaw dropped. 

It ended up taking a full hour for Gilgamesh to get his money. First, the owner needed to verify the authenticity of the gold, an action that nearly insulted Gilgamesh to the point of ordering execution. Then the owner had to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to cover the gold. In the end, Gilgamesh walked out with a plastic bag full of cash, and still managed to get horribly ripped off due to not knowing modern gold prices. 

‘Now let’s see, gifts for women…what do women of this era like?’ He walked along until he found a jewelry store. ‘All women like jewelry, right?’ He entered and looked around at the selection. ‘This era certainly has good taste in jewelry. I’m glad to see that has not changed.’ 

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?” A store attendant walked up to Gilgamesh. 

“I am looking for a gift for a girl.” 

“Is it for a special occasion?”

“I am trying to propose to her.” 

“So an engagement ring, then. Just follow me, we have a section dedicated to engagement rings.” The store attendant led him to a glass counter. “We have a wide assortment of jewels of all sizes. What’s your price range?”

“Price is of no importance. I have enough for any of these.” 

You could practically see dollar signs on the eyes of the worker. “That’s wonderful to hear.” He was visibly trying to contain his excitement. “Do you have any preferences of style?”

“Gold. And as for the gem...what is popular with women nowadays?”

“Diamonds are our most popular engagement rings. They say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. You can never go wrong with one.” 

“I see.” A ring suddenly caught Gilgamesh’s eye. “I rather like that one.” It had a large, heart shaped diamond in the center with two pear shaped sapphires on both sides and a gold band. “How much is that?” 

“That’s around nine million and two hundred thousand yen.” 

“I will buy that one.” 

They rang up the diamond ring at the register. Gilgamesh dumped all the cash out of his plastic bag and began to count it. The eyes of the cashier went wide. The total amount came up to about five million yen. “Damnit, not enough. Can I pay for it with another diamond?” 

“Sir, you want to pay for a diamond with a diamond?” 

It did sound rather ridiculous once said out loud. “I do not feel like going back to get more modern currency. I have jewels with me. Just let me pay with those.” 

“Sir, are you saying that you have diamonds with you right now?” 

“Yes.” He reached under the counter, out of view from the cashier, and pulled a giant diamond out of his Gate of Babylon. “Can I pay with this?” 

“Wh-where did you get that?!” 

“It is not important. Just take it and give me the ring, mongrel.” 

“A diamond of this size may even be worth a billion yen! You’d be way overpaying!” 

“Listen, I already have rings finer and more precious than a modern ring could ever be, but I want a ring in a modern style, everything I have would be considered ancient. Just take the diamond, and give me the ring, you damn mongrel!” 

The cashier suddenly had an idea that would make him so rich he’d never need to work in a jewelry store again. “You can’t pay the store with a diamond, but how about I buy the ring with my own money and you buy the ring from me?” 

“I do not care. I just want the ring.” Gilgamesh said irately. 

The cashier used their own credit card to buy the ring, then gladly handed it to Gilgamesh in return for the diamond. Gilgamesh got to keep the bag of cash. 

Gilgamesh turned to leave the store but stopped before he reached the door. “One more thing.” 

“Er...yes?” 

“Where can I buy an alarm clock?” 

Gilgamesh was pointed in the direction of a nearby department store. He scoured the aisles until he found bedroom decor. He was met with a wide variety of alarm clocks, of all different colors and styles. ‘What would Arturia want?’ Arturia’s room was decorated quite plainly. There really was no style to match. ‘Should I play it safe and go with something plain, or should I get something that would add a bit of spice to her room?’ Then he realized, Arturia probably wouldn’t give a shit. She probably just wanted an alarm clock that would ring. He ended up getting a blue digital alarm clock. 

Across from the department store was a men’s designer fashion store. They had a few outfits on mannequins that looked good to Gilgamesh. ‘No, this trip is for Arturia. I can get something for myself later. Besides, I should be getting back. It is already evening.’ 

He began the walk back to Arturia’s house. He happened upon a lingerie store while walking down the street. “Is dressing women like whores in fashion nowadays?” He thought in disgust. Then he imagined Arturia in one of the sexy two piece lingerie outfits on display. ‘I take back everything I previously thought. May the gods bless whoever invented the idea for a store like this.’ He pushed his way past the doors with the power of arousal guiding him. “I want the blue outfit on display outside immediately in the smallest size!” He made what he felt was the best purchase of his life. The thought struck him that Arturia might refuse to wear the lingerie, but he brushed it off. Perhaps she would be so grateful for the outfit that she’d put it on for him...and then they’d have the best sex of their lives. Yeah, that was a nice thought. 

Gilgamesh finally walked back to Arturia’s home. He realized that he couldn’t dematerialize and enter since he was carrying the bags, so he just knocked on the door. 

‘Who could that be?’ Arturia wondered and got up from her seat at the table. She opened the door. “C-Caster?! Why are you outside?! Why are you holding bags?! Did...did you leave the house?!” 

“I left to buy you gifts.” Gilgamesh answered. 

“Hurry up and get inside before one of my neighbors sees you!” Arturia pulled him inside and closed the door. She turned to her servant. “Do I even need to explain how problematic it was for you to leave the house?!” She yelled. 

“Why are you angry? I left to buy gifts!”

“What if I was attacked while alone?! Did you even consider the possible consequences of leaving?!” 

“Well…” Gilgamesh trailed off. Arturia had a good point, it would have been problematic if either of them had been attacked while he was gone. “I see your point. I shall not leave your side again. And on the off chance I am gone, I will allow you to use a command spell to summon me.” 

Arturia calmed down. “Okay.” 

“Can I show you your gifts now?” Gilgamesh held up the bags. 

“...Fine.” Arturia and Gilgamesh walked to the table and sat. This time, Gilgamesh sat down next to Arturia. Gilgamesh had the look of a lovestruck puppy on his face, and it made Arturia sick. He watched her like he was waiting for her to ask, so she sighed and rubbed her temple. “What did you buy me, Caste—“

“Well, I got you a few things. First, I bought you this.” He took out the small jewelry box. “It was a large hassle to buy. Though they really should just have given it to me in the first place, since it’s rightfully mine to begin with.” He opened the box and handed it to Arturia. 

Arturia gaped. “Caster, is this a diamond?! Where did you get the money for this?!” 

“I sold a diamond I had in my treasury.” 

“Caster, even if you buy me a nice engagement ring, I still won’t marry you.”

“This had nothing to do with my proposal. It is merely a gift.” 

“I…” How could Arturia possibly accept a gift this expensive? But it would be rude to refuse a gift… ‘Damn my Japanese upbringing.’ She thought. “Fine. I’ll accept it, but you should know I’ll never wear it. I could never wear something so expensive without purpose. I’d be too afraid of losing it.” 

“That is fine. As long as you accept it.” 

Arturia was starting to feel greatly uncomfortable. “You didn’t happen to buy anything for yourself, did you?” 

“No. Why?”

‘So this trip was entirely for me? I don’t like that…’ It was far too sweet. It’s hard to dislike a man that does such nice things for you. “It’s nothing.” 

Gilgamesh continued on with the next bag. “I also bought you a new alarm clock. You were pretty angry this morning that I broke yours.” He handed her the new digital clock. 

“I’m actually really grateful for this. Thank you.” Arturia smiled at him. 

Gilgamesh grinned. He felt that this plan was going well. “And lastly, I got you this.” He handed her the last gift bag. 

Arturia’s expression changed from curiosity to horror when she took the lingerie out of the bag. 

“It is pretty, right? I saw through the windows of a shop and thought you would look wonderful in it.” He was expecting her to be joyful that he would go out of his way to buy something beautiful for her to wear, but her expression was ice cold. 

Arturia wordlessly stood up from her seat, still holding the lingerie in hand. She began walking away. 

“Arturia, where are you going? Are you going to go put it on?” After a few seconds, Gilgamesh decided to follow her and see what she was doing. He found her rummaging through a drawer in the kitchen. “Arturia?”

“Ah, here it is.” Arturia closed the drawer and walked to the back door. She unlocked it and stepped outside. 

Gilgamesh followed. The frigid air made the hairs on his arms stick straight out. “It is cold, Arturia. Shouldn’t you wear a jacket?” 

Arturia made no show of listening or of even feeling the cold air herself. She stood still for a few moments in the center of the backyard, before finally turning around to address Gilgamesh. “Are you watching, Caster?” 

“Um...Yes?” Gilgamesh answered. 

“Good.” Arturia dropped the lacy bra and panties onto the ground. Then, she struck a match from the matchbox she’d found in the drawer, and set the lingerie on fire. 

The blue lace immediately caught and began to burn. What used to be a beautiful floral pattern soon became a curled, singed mess. 

Gilgamesh gaped at the display. She wasn’t only destroying the gift he bought her, but making a show of it. It was almost somehow an assertion of dominance. Honestly, something about the way she stared into his eyes while he watched the lingerie slowly burn, examining for any hint of disappointment, was extremely arousing to Gilgamesh. Which was obviously slightly concerning to him, but he tried to ignore that. 

Arturia began to walk back to the house. She stopped when she reached his side. “Caster.” 

“...Yes?” 

“Put the fire out when you’re done grieving.” 

—-

Arturia continued writing diligently in her notebook, assignments nearing completion for the day. Gilgamesh had earlier been pointed in the direction of a shelf full of manga that used to belong to Arturia’s brother, and so he was patiently waiting while reading. 

Arturia finally closed her book. “That should be it for today’s lessons.” She sighed. “I suppose we had better start talking about a strategy for the war, Caster. I don’t have any elaborate strategies for this war. I just think we should take out each servant as quickly as possible. And...I’m willing to exterminate the master as well. For now, we need to keep our identities hidden, so from today on I’ll be attending school until it is no longer safe to do so. You should probably stay dematerialized unless you’re in the house or unless we’re alone. Any objections?” 

“None. I cannot say I will follow your requests to the letter, but I shall not do anything to put you in harm's way.” 

Arturia sighed. “Good. I suppose we should eat now, then.” Arturia boiled a pot of instant noodles and brewed some tea, then served it to herself and Gilgamesh. “I’m sorry that all I have is instant noodles. I didn’t even consider that I’d have a guest to feed after summoning a servant.” 

Gilgamesh stirred the noodles curiously with his chopsticks. “Servants do not actually need to eat. They can perform actions like eating and sleeping, but it is not required of them. All we need is mana to stay manifested. So you do not need to worry about feeding me. ” 

“I know. But still, it wouldn’t feel right eating without offering food to my guest. Perhaps it’s just the result of my upbringing.” Arturia watched Gilgamesh take his first bite of noodles. “Does it taste okay?” 

“It’s fine.” He said after chewing and swallowing. “It’s nothing made by a chef, but it is edible. It would have been nice if I could give you the cooking of the chefs in my palace in Uruk. Then I could show you what real gourmet food is.” 

“I don’t want anything gourmet. I just want food that’s...warm.” 

“Warm?”

“Warm. Like someone made it. It doesn’t need to taste perfect or anything.” Arturia took a sip of tea from her teacup. “I don’t know how to cook. That’s why I live off of toast and instant ramen. After my parents died, it was my brother that learned how to prepare food. He made all our meals, and we’d always eat together. He’s not a very good chef. I can’t remember a time where his food ever really tasted good. But it was always warm, and I always knew I would come home to a meal.” 

“I see. So you care more to just share a meal with someone than the actual quality of the food. I suppose that makes sense.” Memories of Enkidu started flooding his mind. “Yeah, even the highest quality food does not taste very good when you’re alone. Food tastes best when you’re sharing it with a friend.” He smiled. “So, Arturia, how’s the food today?” 

Arturia was slightly taken aback by the question. She offered a small smile in return. “It’s warm.” Then she looked away. ‘I must have low standards for company.’ She thought with a sigh. Was she just lonely? Probably. She’d been living alone for over two years by now. 

“It sounds like you had a good relationship with your brother. Why did he leave?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“We were fairly close as siblings. He was the only person I told about my true identity. He asked me to leave with him, but I refused.” Arturia looked down into her bowl of food. “Kay has wanted to leave since he was a kid. He always hated being born into a mage family. He’s the older sibling, but it was me who inherited my parent’s magic crests. He rejected my family’s magic and wanted nothing to do with it. My family...specializes in combat. Strengthening our bodies and our weapons. I personally took up the sword as my weapon of choice. I retained all the sword skills of my previous self, but I had to adapt them to a Japanese weapon, a katana.” 

“What did your parents do for a living?” 

“I guess you could say they were like police for the Mage’s Association. I don’t know all the details, since I have no intention of following in their footsteps. Mages...aren’t the most _moral_ characters. Kay didn’t like that, so he left.” 

“You don’t seem to like it either. Why did you not leave with him if you had the opportunity?” 

“The Holy Grail War. I stayed to participate. I’ve known my identity since I was a child, and it’s always been my intention to fight. Ever since I learned what the Holy Grail War was, I knew it was my destiny to fight.” 

“But how did you find out about the Grail War? You were a child.” 

“My wish in my previous life was to obtain the Grail. It carried over. My wish…” The wish she made on the bloody hills of Camlann. Arturia grimaced. “When I overheard there was a Holy Grail War in Fuyuki, I knew I had to participate. The Grail War was actually the original reason my parents came to Fuyuki. They had the intention of participating in the war, though they never got the chance to participate in the fourth war. They planned on participating in the fifth.” 

“This is the fifth. I thought you said you had always planned on participating? Arturia, were you going to fight against your parents?” 

Arturia’s face darkened. “That was the original plan. I don’t know if you could call it _luck_ that my parents died in a car crash, but it certainly allowed me to avoid a very complicated situation.” 

Gilgamesh hummed. “You grow more interesting hourly. That is some damn strong dedication to your country, if you were planning on killing your parents for it.” 

“I planned to spare them. I only wanted to kill their servant.” 

“Fair enough.” Gilgamesh looked closely at Arturia’s face. “You look stressed. Let us stop talking about this for the night.” 

“Stressed?” 

“It’s my duty as a husband to look after my wife’s mental well-being. I can’t have you stressing out over sad things. Besides, it would be no fun if I learned everything about you in one night, right? Let us talk about something lighter.” 

“Eh? Like what?”

“Hmmmm, what do you do for fun?” 

“Fun? Like a hobby?”

“Sure.” 

“I practice swordplay. I train everyday.” 

“Arturia, that seems more like function than fun.” Gilgamesh said. “You have been honing your skills for the War, have you not?” 

“Well, that’s true…” 

“Then what do you do for fun? What do you do besides attend school, work, and train?” 

“Er…” 

Gilgamesh was starting to get the big picture. “You do not do anything fun, do you?” 

“Well...not really.” Arturia answered, glancing sideways. 

“Your life depresses me.” Gilgamesh said with a deadpan expression. 

“Shut up.” 

“Well, it makes no matter, now that we are lovers I will show you every pleasure in the world.” Gilgamesh grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to it. “If you will have me, of course.” You could practically see the bishounen roses and shoujo soft circles in the background. 

Arturia yanked back her hand, her cheeks heating slightly. ‘Am I in some shitty romance manga or something?’ “It seems we’re both done eating. I’ll wash the dishes.” 

Arturia washed dishes. She dried off her hands. ‘Finally done. I can go rest now.’ Suddenly, she was pulled to her left. She collided with the wall, but a soft hand cushioned the impact of her head. “Caster?!” 

Gilgamesh had her pinned to the wall, his arms on either side on her head and his thigh in between her parted legs. “Shh, there’s no need to fret. Every woman wants to be embraced by men.” He purred. “Just fall into my arms—!” Suddenly, he felt something very sharp poking his neck. He blinked and looked down at Arturia’s darkened face. “Arturia...are you holding a knife to my neck?” 

“I didn’t realize I summoned Sherlock Holmes.” 

“Where did you...oh.” Gilgamesh’s eyes trailed to a cutlery rack a foot to their right. They were in the kitchen, after all, and he’d grabbed her quite close to the counter. He released her and took a step back. He crossed his arms. “Fine, fine, I hear you loud and clear. You’re not in the mood right now. I will wait until you’re as horny as me. But you could have just said ‘no’. You did not have to put a knife to my neck.” 

“Would you really have stopped?” Arturia crossed her arms. 

“Yes. Probably.” Gilgamesh answered. “But honestly, that was probably the hottest thing a woman has ever done to me and I am very aroused right now.” 

Arturia grabbed both sides of her head in frustration. “That’s _weird!_ You’re _weird!_ Stop saying _weird_ things to me!” 

“But I thought modern women like that sort of thing! The girl’s heart went ‘doki doki’ when a guy pushed her against a wall in the book I was reading!” 

“Did you just try to seduce me with things you learned from a shoujo manga?!” 

“Gah but what am I supposed to do with all this arousal if I can’t have sex?! I have never wanted to fuck a woman more in my life! What do I do if I cannot?!”

“I don’t want to answer that obvious question!” 

“ _No!_ I refuse! I have only ever done _that_ once when I was a curious virgin! I have always had women at my disposal to have sex with! I cannot do _that!_ ” 

“Shut up, shut up, _shut up!_ Take it out with your right hand, you crazy pervert!” Arturia yelled and ran to her room. 

“I refuse!” Was all that Gilgamesh yelled before Arturia slammed the door shut. 

_‘Gahhh_ just when I think I could get along with him, he does something like _that_ to me! Why did I get stuck with such a crazy servant! Why on earth did he have to fall in love with me?!’ Arturia plopped down onto her bed in frustration. 

The worst part was that her body _reacted_ when he pinned her against the wall. Her heart _did_ go ‘doki doki.’ She just managed to control her bodily reactions enough not to let it show. ‘Damn my treacherous body!’ She thought. 

Gilgamesh was far too attractive. It was too much of a distraction. And all of the things he said to her...they made it even worse. ‘This Grail War is going to be harder than I thought.’ Arturia thought with dismay.


	2. Chapter 2

_A ground covered with bodies. A scene where blood ran like a river. And atop the hill, one lone girl wearing armor. She leaned on her sword to stay sitting upright, for her body was so, so tired. She was losing blood quickly, she didn’t have much time left. On that hill, the girl made an impossible wish._

Gilgamesh woke to the sound of Arturia’s alarm clock next door. He slowly sat up. ‘Servants cannot dream. So that was Arturia’s memory?’ At least now he had definitive proof that Arturia truly was King Arthur. Truthfully, even after he proposed, he still harbored some doubts. ‘I suppose it is a good thing to know that she is not insane. Insanity could potentially put a damper on a marriage.’

—-

 _Beep beep beep_. Arturia sat up and turned off her alarm clock. ‘Time for school.’ She stood up out of bed and walked to the washroom. First she brushed her teeth, then she washed her face. She brushed out her hair until it was free of tangles and shone like spun gold. Then she braided it and put it in a chignon on her head. 

Arturia removed the oversized shirt that covered her body and put it in the hamper in the corner of her bedroom. She put on her uniform skirt and and shirt, tying the necktie in the front. She sat down to pull her knee-high socks on and slipped her feet into her shoes. ‘Alright. I’m ready.’ She thought. She walked to the room next door and knocked, patiently waiting for a reply.

“You may come in.” 

Arturia pushed open the door. “Caster, It’s time for school.” 

“Right, right. This is the part where I dematerialize, correct?” 

“If you wouldn’t mind.” 

Gilgamesh snapped his fingers and began to dematerialize into golden sparkles. _“I’ll still be able to communicate with you mentally, so I’ll be right by your side to protect you.”_

“Thank you. I feel very reassured.” Just to reassure herself further, she grabbed her sword and swung it over her back. Then she picked up her bag and walked out of the door. 

Arturia walked until she saw the form of a familiar friend. “Rin!” She called out. 

“Arturia!” Rin turned around and smiled. 

“How are you? You were absent from school the other day.” Arturia asked her friend. 

“I’m fine. I’ve just had a pretty crazy past few days.” Rin answered. 

“I had quite some crazy days myself these past few nights.” 

“Hopefully things will calm down for the both of us.” Rin smiled. “You look really happy today, Arturia.” 

“Well, these last few days have been crazy, but I think good things will come.” ‘I summoned a super powerful servant after all. The king of heroes himself.’ Arturia thought. 

“You have such a lovely smile. You need to wear it more, you always look so serious.” 

“You think so? I think your smile is much prettier.” 

“Idiot! You only say things like that because you don’t realize how pretty you are! If you took your nose out of your textbook and looked around you, you’d see how many guys stare at you all the time.” 

“That’s very flattering coming from the prettiest girl in our school.” 

“Only second to you!” 

_“Gods, just stop already. This is way too gay to watch. As your husband, it bothers me to be forced to watch you flirt with some mongrelette.”_ Gilgamesh said in Arturia’s head. 

This snapped Arturia to attention. ‘Gay?! Flirt?! What the hell is he talking about??!’ Arturia screamed in her head. 

“What’s that you’re holding Arturia?” Rin asked, looking at Arturia’s sword in her sword case. 

“It’s my kendo stick.” Arturia answered. 

“Really? I didn’t know you played kendo.”

“I’ve always played kendo. I took private lessons as a child.” 

“I see.” They finally arrived at the school. “I’ll see you at lunch, Arturia!” Rin said, waving. 

“Bye Rin!”

_“I’m officially banning you from interacting with her.”_

“Like hell!” Arturia said. 

_“As your husband—“_

“You’re not my husband.”

_“AS YOUR HUSBAND, I’m restricting you from flirting with men or gay women.”_

“She’s not gay. We’re just friends.” 

_“She was blushing, she’s totally gay for you. It pisses me off.”_

“You’re delusional—“ Arturia stopped in her tracks as a wave of magical energy washed over her the second she stepped onto the school grounds. 

_“It looks like someone set up a boundary field around your school.” Gilgamesh said._

“Do they really intend to attack the entire school?” Arturia wondered. 

“Hey, Arturia!” A voice yelled from behind her. 

“Shirou!” Arturia turned around and smiled. 

“I brought you lunch today like I promised.” Shirou handed Arturia a bento box. 

_“No, no, no, no, get away from him.”_ Gilgamesh screamed inside Arturia’s head. 

“Thank you Shirou.” Arturia took the bento box and smiled. “I’m sure it will be delicious.” 

“I’ll see you later, Arturia.” Shirou said, and began walking to his class. 

_“Who the FUCK was that?! Are you having an affair?!”_

“It’s not an affair, we aren’t married. And his name is Shirou. He’s a friend of mine.” Arturia explained. “He's really nice and the food he makes is so, so good.” 

_“Don’t say that so dreamily! I’ll kill him, I really will!”_

“Stop acting so threatened, Caster. He’s just a friend. We have more important things to worry about, like the boundary field someone set up here. We’ll come back to school later today to investigate.” 

Around seven p.m., Arturia and Gilgamesh came back to the school. This time, Gilgamesh wasn’t dematerialized and walked by Arturia’s side. “This is like a romantic moonlit stroll. We should hold hands, Arturia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“This is not a stroll. We’re searching for sigils.” 

“Yes, I know that. But we are all alone at night under the moonlight, it just feels romantic.” 

“No it doesn’t.” Both of them heard clashes up ahead. “What is that—!”

A red spear suddenly shot at Arturia’s face through the bushes in front of her, held by a man in electric blue body tights. Arturia only had the time to widen her eyes before Gilgamesh beat it aside with his axe. The casual clothes Arturia lent him disappeared and were replaced by the (annoyingly revealing) clothing he was summoned in. 

“Damnit! Another servant!” The servant, who was presumably Lancer, retreated back to his previous position. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh ran towards Lancer to find Rin and a servant carrying two swords standing in a defensive position. “Rin?! You’re a master?!”

Rin had her mouth wide open in surprise for a few seconds before answering. “Of course I’m a master! I’m a Tohsaka! I’m the surprised one! Damnit, now there's two servants to deal with!”

“Now I get to kill that mongrelette. This works out quite nicely.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You are not killing Rin! I will never forgive you if you even lay a hand on her!” Arturia yelled. 

Rin blushed. “I-Idiot! This is a war! You can’t go saying such things!” 

Arturia turned to her servant. “Caster, why couldn’t you sense the other servants?” 

“I sensed them. I just figured these mongrels were of no importance while I’m on a moonlit rendezvous with my wife.” 

“You idiot! Next time tell me when there’s servants nearby!” 

“Arturia, why is your servant calling you his wife?” Rin asked. 

“Because he’s weird and delusional. It’s a long story.” Arturia explained. 

“I guess I had better get rid of one of you quickly then.” Lander started charging up his spear for a Gae bolg. Suddenly, every servant heard a rustling in the distance. “Who’s there?!” Lancer took off in the direction of the sound. 

“Caster, what’s going on?” Arturia asked. 

“It seems some mongrel walked in on our battle. Now I assume Lancer is going to follow the rules of the Holy Grail War and eliminate the witness. that’s probably why he attacked us so nonchalantly, since he seemed surprised that I was a servant.” Gilgamesh explained. 

“Damnit! We have to save them!”

Meanwhile, Rin had already taken off in the direction of Lancer and the witness. She ran through the courtyard and up the stairs. ‘I have to find them!’ She thought. Finally, she stumbled upon a body in the hallway. She slowly approached. Her eyes widened when she turned the body over. ‘How on earth am I going to tell Sakura? She’ll be devastated!’ 

“Rin?” Arturia entered the hallway taking slow steps. Gilgamesh was standing behind her. 

‘Arturia was close to Shirou as well, right? It might be better if she didn’t see him like this. I think I can heal him with my father’s necklace anyway.’ Rin thought. “Arturia, how about you go home. Maybe tomorrow we can meet up and discuss a possible alliance?” 

“But shouldn’t I—“

“I’ve got everything taken care of. He isn’t dead yet, I think I can save him. Seriously, let’s talk later.” 

Arturia felt somewhat bewildered. “Okay.” She turned to her servant. “Caster, let’s leave.”

Gilgamesh turned around immediately and started walking. “That does not sound unsatisfactory. I prefer being alone with you anyway.” 

The two left the school and walked back to Arturia’s home. “I can’t believe Rin’s a master. The Holy Grail War just got a lot more complicated for me.” 

“If you are so intent on letting her live, just have me kill her servant. She can take refuge in the church after that.” 

“I suppose.” Arturia’s eyes narrowed and she sighed. “Rin’s been my best friend for years now. I suppose we weren’t that close, since neither of us knew each other’s identity as a mage, but nonetheless we spent a lot of time together. I don’t want this to complicate our friendship.” 

Gilgamesh could see that she was genuinely worried. Though her anguished face was rather cute, it wouldn’t do for his wife to be so stressed. He put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair a bit. “Do not worry too much about it. If anything, learning more about each other gives your friendship more potential to grow. Anyway, a real friend would not let a friendship die over something so trivial.” 

“You think so?”

“Well, I am speaking only on the basis of the knowledge and experience that I accumulated in my lifetime. I had only one friend, and vowed to never have another. This is just what I believe based on what I experienced with Enkidu.” 

“Enkidu...that was the friend from your legend, right?” 

Gilgamesh nodded. “I know the importance of friendship, and thus I would be happy that you have friends that you love, but I can’t help but feel that girl’s feelings toward you are slightly more than platonic. I do not mean in a romantic way, I mean she is sexually attracted towards you.” 

“No way. My and Rin’s relationship is purely platonic. She’s never even hinted at being attracted to me.” 

“She probably has without you noticing. You seem to be the oblivious type.” 

“I am not oblivious.” 

“Well, I have not known you for long, so perhaps I could be wrong; even though my first impressions of people are invariably right.” 

“You just contradicted yourself.” 

“Yes, I know. I merely said the first part to comfort you.” 

Arturia stayed silent after that, though she was a bit annoyed. 

They finally arrived at Arturia’s house. Arturia sat down at the table, feeling mentally exhausted. “I guess I’ll make dinner.” She looked down. “I’m not a good cook, so don’t judge whatever I make, okay?” Arturia got up from her seat and left to the kitchen. 

Gilgamesh waited for around twenty minutes before Arturia returned. 

“I boiled the noodles for too long, so they’re a bit stiff, but it should still taste okay.” Arturia rested two bowls of soba and two bowls of rice. She and Gilgamesh sat down at the table. 

“Do you have any wine, Arturia?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Wine? Of course not. I’m a minor. In this country, you can’t have alcohol until you’re twenty years old. I’m still eighteen. Though, to be honest, I do miss the taste of wine from my previous life.” Arturia answered. 

“If you do not possess any, I’ll use my own supply.” He pulled out a golden pitcher of wine and two gilded cups from his Gate of Babylon. He poured alcohol into the cups and gave one to Arturia. 

“I just said I can’t drink wine.”

“You also said you miss the flavor. I am sure it would not hurt to have a little.” 

Arturia pondered for a moment. “Fine. But only one cup. I have enough common sense as a woman to not get drunk while I’m alone with a man…” 

Gilgamesh felt _slightly_ disappointed, but it wasn’t a terrible calamity. He drank his wine. “Do not be so afraid. A little alcohol will not kill you.” 

“I’m not a fan of breaking the rules.” 

“No one is here to see it.” 

Arturia stared into her cup, then mustered up the courage to take a sip. Her eyes widened. “It’s delicious! It’s the best wine I’ve ever tasted!” It was perfectly balanced in flavor and was slightly fruity. 

Gilgamesh grinned. “You can have as much as you want. There’s no need to stop at one cup.” 

“I’m not a fool. I already know my judgement would be impaired if I drank more.” 

“So you admit that you would potentially have sex with me under the right circumstances!” 

“That’s a difficult question. I suppose the answer does depend on the circumstances in question. Though, I know for sure that if you did seduce me while I’m not in love with you, I’ll hate you forever.” She took another sip of wine. 

“Then any attempt is useless!” Gilgamesh said, wiping away fake tears. 

“Don’t act so dramatic. Hurry up and eat your food.” 

“Mm, how thoughtless of me. I should not be so neglectful of food my wife lovingly made for me.” He grabbed his chopsticks off the table. 

“I’m not your wife.” Arturia stated. 

“Deny it all you want. I know you will agree to marry me eventually. For now, I will just relish in the chase.” Gilgamesh grabbed some soba noodles with his chopsticks and took a bite. His eyes widened slightly. 

“Does it taste bad?” Arturia asked with a worried expression. 

“No. It just has an interesting flavor. I have not tasted this type of flavor before. It’s salty and a bit...sweet?” 

“That must be the soy sauce and onions. Are you saying that you like it?” 

“It does not displease me. The noodles certainly are firm, just as you said, but it isn’t bad. I rather like the flavor.” 

Arturia smiled in relief and pleasure. “Thank goodness. I thought it would come out terrible, even though I chose the easiest recipe in the cookbook I bought.” She found that it was actually nice to eat a meal with Gilgamesh, as long as he wasn’t sexually harassing her in any way. 

Gilgamesh suddenly stood up and looked behind him. He wore an annoyed expression. 

“Is something wrong?” Arturia asked.

“You told me to tell you next time a servant was near.” 

“Are we being attacked?!” 

“No. They are not approaching us. At this distance, it is unlikely that they can sense us. Casters are just exceptional at sensing other servants from long distances. What do you think, shall we attack?” 

Arturia thought for a moment. “Yes. We should be proactive in this war.” Arturia stood and grabbed her sword. “Let’s go.” 

They quickly determined that Gilgamesh was faster than Arturia, so they decided that it would be more efficient if Gilgamesh carried her in his arms. “This is so romantic. It is like I am carrying you to the altar. How about we kiss after this is all over?” 

“How about you shut the fuck up?” How did he even know what ‘carrying someone to the altar’ was? Did the grail really give him such trivial knowledge?

Gilgamesh put Arturia down once they came close enough to the sensed presence. A figure came rushing at Gilgamesh with a sword. Gilgamesh made no move to defend himself, so Arturia unsheathed her blade, stepped in front of her servant, and blocked the slash herself. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Caster?! Do you intend to die?!” Arturia yelled. 

“I just wanted to see your sword skills. I was curious.” Gilgamesh replied with a smile. 

Arturia huffed. “So I suppose I’ll take care of this battle.” She examined her opponent. The servant, presumably Saber, considering he was holding a sword, wore white armor with gold accents and a red mantle. His hair was blonde save for a few red streaks in the front. 

“I’m surprised you managed to block my strike with such a small body. You seem to be human, so I suppose you’re the master of this servant. Are you sure you can keep up with a servant, little lady? I’d be devastated if I hurt a young girl like you. It wouldn’t be chivalrous at all.” Saber said earnestly. 

“I’m glad you uphold the ideals of chivalry with honor, but I must inform you that I am not just a little girl. You should be more worried about keeping up with me.” Arturia slashed. 

Saber blocked. “Woa-oh! Beauty and brawn! I like it!” Saber said. 

Their blades clashed for minutes afterward. As Arturia drove Saber back, it became apparent who had the higher degree of skill.

Saber jumped back and lowered his sword, signaling for Arturia to halt her attacks. “I originally had the intention of keeping my True Name a secret for the sake of the grail war, but fighting you is too marvelous to not uphold the ideals of chivalry. My name is King Richard the Lionheart, first of my name.” 

Arturia grimaced, then lowered her sword. “I must uphold the laws of chivalry as well. It would be cowardly not to reveal my identity after my opponent has done so. My name is Arthur Pendragon, king of Britain. Or...the reincarnation of King Arthur, at least.” 

Saber’s sword quivered in his hand. “That’s...that’s impossible…!”

“I am glad to say that she is speaking the truth. I saw her memories of the Battle of Camlann in a dream last night.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What a horrible invasion of privacy!” Arturia yelled. 

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Gilgamesh yelled back. 

“King Arthur...I can’t believe it…!” Saber dematerialized his sword and ran to Arturia, grabbing her hands. “Arthur-sama!” 

Arturia blinked. “Eh?” 

“I’ve been fascinated with your story my entire life! I modeled my ruling after yours! I’ve pledged my oath of chivalry on your name! I named my own sword Excalibur, and I even found Avalon! It’s such an honor to meet you, Arthur-sama!” Saber fanboyed. 

“My true identity is a secret, so please just call me Arturia for now.” Arturia said. 

Saber nodded. “I wasn’t expecting you to be a girl, and a beautiful one at that.” Saber raised Arturia’s hand and kissed it, causing Arturia’s face to flush from surprise. “I don’t mind that at all, though. I guess you must be my type—!” Gilgamesh’s foot collided with Saber’s face, sending him flying ten meters to the right. “God, what the fuck?!” Saber said with annoyance. 

“That is my wife you are flirting with! Know your place, mongrel!” Gilgamesh yelled, fuming. “It is already unforgivable enough that you interrupted a lovely dinner with my wife, but to touch her with your filthy lips is even worse!” 

“Just for the record, he’s completely delusional and I’m not married to him.” Arturia stated. 

“I am not delusional.” Gilgamesh grumbled. 

“Saber!” Shirou ran towards them, with Rin behind him. “Eh?! Arturia?!” 

“Sh-Shirou! No...don’t tell me...you’re a master too?!” Arturia said in astonishment. 

“I don’t know what that means! I don’t know what any of this means!” Shirou yelled. 

Rin huffed. “This idiot managed to enter the war and summon a servant without knowing a damn thing and holy hell are you carrying a sword?!” 

Arturia blushed and looked away. This side of her was something she especially didn’t want to show Shirou. 

“Not only is she holding a sword, but she is even better at using it than that joke of a saber servant.” Gilgamesh said proudly. 

“He’s a prick but I’m afraid to say that he’s right. Arturia-sama surpasses my prowess with the sword, even with my instinct skill.” Saber admitted. 

Rin and Shirou looked at Arturia with shock. Rin sighed. “This is so troublesome. Not only is my good friend a master, but her friend is a master too! I want to form an alliance with Arturia, but she’d never agree to taking out Shirou. I guess the only option left is…” she dropped her head in anguish, “a three-way alliance.” Rin sighed again, but this time with more despair. 

“Let’s talk more at my house.” Shirou suggested. 

“Yeah, it would be bad to draw more attention.” Arturia said. “Caster, you can dematerialize now. We’re just walking to Shirou’s house.” 

“Not so long as that other guy is here.” Gilgamesh said, referring to Saber. “He seems way too interested in you.” 

“She said that you two aren’t actually married. She’s fair game to hit on.” Saber said. 

“Great, now there’s two servants hitting on me…” Arturia frowned. Though, she much preferred Saber since he at least followed the ideas of chivalry. 

“Yeah, Arturia, what happened with that? How did your servant fall in love with you?” Rin asked. 

“I have no clue. All I know is that he really wants to have sex with me.” Arturia answered. 

“You certainly summoned a troublesome servant.” Rin said. 

“I know.” Arturia let out a long sigh. 

They all sat down at the table in Shirou’s house. Rin gave Shirou a detailed explanation of what the Holy Grail War was. Shirou seemed to understand, and nodded his head. 

“Anyway, I suppose I had better take you to the church so you can meet the overseer of the war.” Rin said. 

“Church?” Arturia asked. 

“You know, the church with the fake priest? Kirei kotomine?” 

Arturia gave her a confused look. 

“No…don’t tell me…you know nothing about this war either?!” Rin exclaimed. 

“I know about the war! I just didn’t know there was a priest!” 

“Didn’t you sign up for the war?!”

“You…have to sign up?” 

Rin smacked her head with her palm. “How the hell did you summon a servant without knowing there was an overseer?!” 

“I don’t know! No one formally taught me about the war! I had to research with limited resources!” 

Rin sighed in frustration. “Fine. I’ll take both of you to meet the priest. Come on.” Rin stood from her seat. 

The three students, along with their servants, made their way to the church in the next district. It was a bit of a walk, but not too far. 

They finally reached the church gates, which seemed strangely ominous to Arturia. Rin turned to face the servants. “You three servants wait here. We’ll go in and talk to the priest.” 

“I have to wait here with these two?!” Gilgamesh whined. He hated Saber’s flirting with Arturia and just felt hatred for Archer in his bones. 

“Yes, you do. Wait here like a good boy.” Arturia said. 

“I am not a dog!” Gilgamesh said. 

“So I suppose you don’t want a reward?” 

“...what reward?” 

“If you stop bickering with the other servants and get along I’ll give you the opportunity to see my panties one time—” 

“Deal! I’ll do it!”

“—but, if you ever take that opportunity, I’ll never marry you.” 

“What was the point of it then?!” 

Arturia, Rin, and Shirou walked into the church. Kirei turned and looked surprised as he saw Arturia. ‘So she’s been summoned again? But why is she in a school uniform?’ 

“Kirei, this is my friend from school, Arturia. She’s an idiot that didn’t know she had to sign up for the war. This right here is my not-friend Shirou. He doesn’t know anything about the war. Both of them are idiot masters.” Rin said, crossing her arms. 

“Excuse me Rin, but did you say this young lady is a master?” Kirei asked. 

“Did I stutter, Kirei?” 

Kirei looked towards Arturia. “May I see your command seals?” 

Arturia hesitated first a moment, then showed him the command seals on her right hand. 

‘I see. This must be a different girl. She just looks like the Saber servant from the last war.’ Kirei stepped back and looked at both Arturia and Shirou. “What servants did you summon?” Kirei asked Arturia and Shirou. 

“I summoned the Saber servant.” Shirou answered. 

“I summoned the Caster servant.” Arturia said. 

“That’s impossible. The Caster servant has already been summoned. If that were true, there would be a total of eight servants. 

Rin looked at Arturia in astonishment. ‘Eight servants? Is that even possible?’ Rin quickly adapted to this new information. “It may be impossible, but regardless of its impossibility, it happened. Arturia has command seals and I’ve seen her servant. She’s the real deal.” 

Kirei rested his finger on his chin. “I suppose so.” He turned to Arturia and Shirou. “What are your full names?” 

“My name is Arturia Pendragon.” Arturia replied. 

“I’m Shirou Emiya.” Shirou said. 

“Did you say Emiya?” Kirei asked. 

“Yes?” 

Kirei suppressed a smile. “I see.” 

“Rin, I’m going to head home. It’s getting late.” Arturia said. 

“Okay. Let’s meet up tomorrow at my house at six o’clock. We can have dinner and discuss the terms of our alliance, as well as strategy.” Rin said. 

Arturia nodded. She exited the church, leaving Shirou and Rin to talk more with the fake priest. She walked to the gates. She found Saber covered in bruises, while Gilgamesh had one large bruise on his cheek. “Did you two get in a fight?” Arturia asked. 

“No...possibly.” Gilgamesh said. 

“It was more of a one-sided argument that ended in violence. I tried to get along, but he has such a short temper. The bruise I gave him was in self defense. As you can see, I have many more injuries than he does.” Saber explained. “Hey, since I was a good boy and tried to get along, and only acted in self defense, do I get to see your panties?” 

“I swear I will fucking kill you!” Gilgamesh yelled, summoning his axe. 

“Caster, stop.” Arturia told her servant. She turned to Saber. “The deal I made only applied to Caster. And I made it only because I knew he wouldn’t accept the deal. I never had the intention of showing anyone my panties.” She explained. 

“Damn. Well, being with you is enough for me, Arturia-sama.” Saber said with a smile. 

“You can drop the -sama. Seriously.” Arturia said. 

“Even though you appear before me as a young girl, I must acknowledge you with the respect you deserve as my idol, Arturia-sama.” 

Arturia raised her eyebrow. “O-kay.” She turned to Gilgamesh. “Caster, come on. We’re leaving.” 

“Fucking finally. I thought I would be stuck with those bastards forever.” Gilgamesh said, following. 

Once they were a good distance away, Arturia asked her companion a question. “Why did you start a fight with Saber?” 

“He said something sexual about you.” Gilgamesh said. For a moment, Arturia was touched, but of course, Gilgamesh ruined it with his next sentence. “You’re mine, so only I’m allowed to make sexual comments about you.” 

“What did he say?”

“He spoke nothing but the truth, but they were truths that only I should be allowed to say.” 

“Care to enlighten me?” 

“He said that you are the slim, athletic type but you have a cute butt and nice legs.” 

Arturia let out a long and deep sigh. “I can’t believe another servant is hitting on me. This is goddamn ridiculous.” 

“Who do you think is more handsome? Me or him?” 

“What, are you feeling insecure?” 

“No. I just want to hear you say it.” 

“You are definitely more physically handsome.” For a moment, Gilgamesh looked satisfied, until Arturia continued. “But I must say that I prefer Saber since he is a true knight that lives by the ideals of chivalry.” 

“What?!” Gilgamesh stopped in his tracks, making Arturia stop walking as well. “You prefer him?!” 

“Saber is an honorable man.” 

“I am honorable too! Everyone should honor me!” 

“Being honorable and being honored aren’t the same thing. I’ve yet to see any honorable behavior from you. Perhaps I will change my mind in the future, if you’re good at least.” 

“I am good! I am very good! I am the goodest person I know! Actually, wait, the goodest person I know is Enkidu, but I am a close second!” 

“Sure you are, Caster. Hurry up, let’s get home before we get attacked by another servant.” 

They reached Arturia’s home within the next fifteen minutes. Arturia immediately walked back to her room. Gilgamesh followed, because he had some questions to ask. “Are you truly going to form an alliance with both the mongrel and the mongrelette?” 

“Yes. It would probably be best to strengthen our forces anyway. If we all form an alliance, we can better face the other servants.” Arturia said this as she took off her vest. 

“Is there not a possibility of betrayal?” 

Arturia unbuttoned her shirt, slowly revealing her shoulders and bra as she slid the fabric off her body, much to Gilgamesh’s surprise. “I can say that I have my worries. Half my country betrayed me, so there will always be fear of betrayal in my heart. But I trust Shirou and Rin. I’ve known them for a long time.” Arturia slid her skirt off, then her tights.” 

Gilgamesh’s cheeks flushed. “...Arturia, What are you doing?” He watched her reveal more and more of her bare body. 

“What does it look like? I’m getting ready for bed. I need to put on pajamas and go to sleep.” Arturia freed her hair from the ribbon holding it in place. Her golden locks spilled over her shoulders and back. 

‘Is she coming on to me?’ Gilgamesh wondered. ‘She is not giving off that impression, though. Is she really just casually changing her clothes in front of me, a man who is very obviously attracted to her? No way could a woman be that dense! Is this consent, then?’ He was getting all sorts of mixed signals. He watched her lithe body move. He couldn’t see her chest, but her ass, covered in light blue panties, looked very tantalizing from this angle. ‘God she looks hot. I really want her. Dear god, that ass is amazing.’ He watched as she unhooked her bra. “Arturia, you are really confusing me here! What the hell are you trying to say by doing this?”

Arturia had no idea what her servant was talking about. She turned the upper half of her body, finally revealing her modest, but perky breasts. “What are you talking about, Caster?” 

Gilgamesh finally couldn’t take anymore. “Okay Arturia, what you need to understand is that I am a man with manly needs! So what you need to do is bend over the bed so I can **** your *****, ***** ***** until you _scream!_ ” 

It took zero point five seconds flat for Arturia to kick him in the stomach so hard that he flew out of the room and shut the door in his face. 

‘I got kicked out…’ Gilgamesh thought with horrible pain in his stomach. He got up and stomped to his room. ‘What the fuck was she expecting by stripping right in front of me?! Did it really not come across her mind that I might _react_ to that?!’ He closed his door and threw himself onto the bed. He lied still for about five minutes, trying fruitlessly to get his little Gilgamesh to calm the fuck down. He finally decided to explore his, or rather, Arturia’s brother’s, room. ‘Perhaps I can learn something new about the modern era by looking around this room.’ He had been so focused on Arturia, that he really hadn’t bothered to learn about this era’s culture. He got up and pulled what seemed like a very slim book off of the self. He was not prepared for what came next. 

—-

Arturia sat on her bed in her oversized shirt. ‘Surely Caster must have calmed down by now right?’ She wondered. ‘Honestly, is he some hormonal teenage boy to react in such a way?’ She brushed some hair out of her face. ‘Maybe I should go check on him. I kicked him pretty hard in the stomach. But honestly, what was I supposed to do after he said something so vulgar to me with such a hungry look? He’s a servant anyway so he should be fine.’ She stood up from the bed and left her room. She knocked on Gilgamesh’s door. “Caster?” No reply. She opened the door to find her servant lying on the ground curled into a ball as if he’d just spontaneously had a heart attack and died. “Caster?!” 

“I think I am going to be sick...I cannot get those images out of my head...why would anyone create something so vile…?” Gilgamesh’s muttered on the floor. 

Arturia was confused until she noticed the discarded book near her foot. She picked it up. It took only one glance at the cover to understand what had happened. “Dear god, you got into Kay’s hentai stash, didn’t you?!” 

Gilgamesh rolled over to face her, despair in his face. “WHY WOULD SOMEONE CREATE SOMETHING SO DISGUSTING?!” 

Arturia flipped through the doujin. “Jesus, you really chose a bad one to start off with. Tentacles, rape, cum inflation, mind break, and pregnancy.” Arturia closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. “I remember that one. My brother forced me to read it when I was around nine years old.” 

“WHAT?!”

“Kay went through a bit of a sadistic faze as a preteen. My parents were having marital issues and Kay developed some behavioral problems. He used to go out and find disturbing tentacle rape hentais and force me to read them at night before bed. It caused a lot of nightmares. I’m okay now, though, and Kay grew out of his faze by the time he turned fourteen.” 

“HE FORCED YOU TO READ THIS DISGUSTING PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL?! HOW OLD WERE YOU?!” 

“It lasted from when I was eight to when I was eleven. Only, like, three years I think.” 

“AND YOU HAD NIGHTMARES?!” 

“I also developed a persistent phobia of octopi and tentacle rape. To this day I can’t eat tako tamago when I go out. I haven’t had a nightmare in years, though.” 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM?!” 

“He threatened to tell my parents about my identity as King Arthur if I told anyone. I was a kid back then and he was my older brother.” Arturia shrugged. 

Gilgamesh sighed processed this new information. “Arturia, I need to ask you an important question.” 

“What?”

“Is it actually possible for a woman to have so much semen ejaculated into her that she looks pregnant?” There was a short silence. “Answer me, Arturia! I’ll never be able to sleep again if I do not know!”

“No. It’s not possible for a womb and stomach to distend that much just because it’s being ejaculated into. I looked that up when I was a kid…” Arturia sighed. 

Gilgamesh looked relieved, but still very disturbed. He turned to Kay’s bookcase. “All of these books are disgusting abominations like the one I read?” 

“Only this section. Kay isn’t actually that into tentacles, the main purpose of buying the tentacle hentai was to traumatize me. He’s actually more into yuri, otherwise known as lesbians.” 

Gilgamesh went silent. “I need to destroy this world. Kill every being on this planet and completely start over from scratch. A humanity that creates monstrosities like this does not deserve to survive.” 

“Oh, shut up. You’re generalizing too much. Just because some people create weird fetish hentai and some people read them, doesn’t mean everyone in the world is disgusting. It’s literally just a weird fetish. Besides, humans have always been perverted. They just have more means of expressing it now.” 

“You can say that even though you’ve been traumatized?” 

“I can say that especially because I’ve been traumatized. Even if some people like fantasizing about tentacle rape, it’s not like the old-fashioned respect for intimacy and sex has gone down the drain. Vanilla, normal love-making, is a much bigger genre than tentacles.” Arturia walked to a different section on the shelf and began pulling out books.” I’m pretty sure these are all vanilla. They’re all lesbian too, but still vanilla.” She threw them on the ground next to Gilgamesh’s feet. 

“Arturia, why would I want to read more of this crap? Even if it does not involve girls getting raped by tentacles, it would not do anything for me at all. I would much prefer a real life woman over a drawing, no matter how good the drawing is.” 

“I’m trying to restore your faith in humanity, not get you off. Speaking of getting you off...I can’t have you getting anymore reactions like you did earlier. So, after careful consideration, I’ve decided that since you’re too stubborn to masturbate like a normal human, you can go out tomorrow for a couple hours and go to a bar and get laid or something. But only for a couple hours. I can call you back with a command spell if necessary.” 

“Are you suggesting that I have sex with someone else?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes. That way you can at least get some of your sexual frustration out.” 

Gilgamesh looked almost angry. “I absolutely refuse. I have made it abundantly clear that I want to have sex with you, not some other wench.” 

“So you’re just going to sexually frustrate yourself for weeks with zero relief?” 

“Yes. You are the woman I love, and the only woman I want to have sex with.” Gilgamesh said with finality. 

Arturia blushed. She looked away from her servant. ‘There’s no way he could like me that much...we just met!’ Suddenly, she heard a phone ring from her room. She walked towards the sound and picked up the phone, flipping it open. Gilgamesh followed and peeked inside the room. “Kay!” 

_“Hey, what‘s up, Arty? You dead yet?”_

“I wouldn’t answer the phone if I was dead.” 

_“Who knows? It could be your murderer that answers the phone!”_

“I doubt my murderer would be polite enough to answer my phone and inform you of my death.” 

_“I don’t think it would exactly be polite. More like, psychological torture. But seriously, Arty. You texted me a couple days ago ‘HGW starting’ and, once I realized what HGW was, I got worried, so I figured I’d call and check on you.”_

“Who’s that?” Gilgamesh asked Arturia, trying to listen in on the conversation. 

“It’s Kay.” Arturia answered. 

“Your brother that traumatized you with tentacle porn? Tell him I said ‘fuck you.’” 

Arturia spoke into the phone. “Caster, my servant, says ‘fuck you.’” 

_“Well, what does he look like?”_ Kay asked. 

“Tall, blonde, red eyes.” Arturia answered. 

_“Is he handsome?”_

Arturia flushed. “Yes. He’s a total bishounen.” 

_“Well goddamn! If my little sister is calling him handsome, he must be a total hottie! I’ll let him fuck me anytime!”_

“What’s he saying?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Kay said he’d let you fuck him anytime.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh didn’t look as annoyed or surprised as Arturia would have thought. Instead, he just replied, “I tend to have that effect on people. Even so, it is rather annoying to have your words taken out of context completely. Tell him that scenario is out of the question. I have decided to vow to have sex with no one but you, so I’ll be having no sex until you accept me.” 

“Caster said that he’s sworn a vow to eternal celibacy.”  
Arturia said into the phone. 

“I said nothing of the sort!” Gilgamesh said. 

_“Eternal celibacy? What a sad blow for mankind.”_ Kay said. 

The phone was suddenly yanked from Arturia’s hand. “Hey! Give that back!” 

“I am very displeased that you decided to traumatize Arturia with tentacle porn in her youth. If you weren’t her brother, I would have you killed.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“So you’re Caster? You have a nice voice. Smooth and sultry, I like it.”_

“There is no use in flirting with me. I am saving myself for Arturia. I will have sex with no one but her.” 

“Oh my god, shut your fucking mouth!” Arturia yelled. “Give me back the phone!” 

_“Woah, woah, woah, hold up there buddy, you’re tryna screw my sister?!”_

“Yes. She is beautiful and I am in love with her.” 

_“Does she also love you?”_

“Irrelevant. She will agree to marry me someday.”

_“Well, as her big brother, you need my blessing to be able to marry her.”_

“Blessing?” 

_“Yes. It’s customary in modern society to get the blessing of a woman’s parents before marriage. Our parents are dead, so you’ll have to get my blessing as her big brother.”_

“How do I receive your blessing?” 

_“You can start by describing what you’re wearing.”_

Gilgamesh missed the suggestive tone of the question. “I am wearing clothes Arturia gave me that used to belong to her father.” 

_“Eh?! You’re wearing Dad’s clothes?! Does Arturia have some sort of a daddy kink or something?!”_

“I do not know what that means.” 

_“Gross. I don’t want to imagine my kid sister calling a guy ‘daddy’ in bed.”_

“Why would she call me daddy if I am not her father?” Gilgamesh said, not knowing anything about modern kinks. 

_“Oh you poor, sweet, innocent boy.”_

“That’s enough!” Arturia bit Gilgamesh’s hand to get him to drop the phone. 

“Ow!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

Arturia snatched the phone. “Kay?” She asked. 

_“Is that you, Arty? You should’ve told me that your servant wants to marry you. As your big brother, I’m very much worried about this situation. I need to come back and meet this guy before you two bone.”_

“We’re not going to have sex. And if you’re going to visit, don’t come until the grail war is over. You’ll get in my way if you come now.” 

_“How harsh. I’ve become nothing but a hindrance to my little sister. But regardless of what you say I’m coming back to visit in a couple weeks. Hold on a moment.”_ Kay had intended to mute the phone on mute, but pushed the wrong button, so Arturia got to hear him speak to his colleague. _“Парнеса, собирай мои вещи. Я скоро приеду к себе домой. наркотики могут подождать.”_ Kay returned to the phone. _“I’ll be there in a few weeks, ‘kay Arty?”_

“Kay, was...was that Russian? Last time I talked to you you were speaking Spanish! Did...did you hop countries?!” Arturia asked. 

Kay began to sound nervous. _“Oh, you heard that? Ehehehe...Uh, gotta go Arty! It was nice talking to you!”_

“Kay wait!” Arturia yelled. The call ended. “The bastard hung up on me!” 

“Your brother is weird.” Gilgamesh commented. 

“At least he’s not constantly telling me how much he wants to fuck me all the time.” Arturia snapped. 

“First of all, he is your brother. It would be incredibly incestuous if he were saying those things to you.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Speaking of my attraction to you, why on earth did you decide to strip in front of me earlier? Did you really not think that was a bad idea?” 

Arturia narrowed her eyes, then looked away. “I’ve grown up around men all my life. Even when I was a child, I learned to speak with the masculine ‘boku.’ It still hasn’t registered that you think of me...as an object of attraction.” 

“What about your mother? Didn’t she teach you how to  
be a woman?” 

“I have no mother. My parents were gay men.” Arturia admitted. 

There was more confusion than shock on Gilgamesh’s face. “I may be from Mesopotamia, but even I know that you need a man and a woman to procreate.” 

“Me and Kay were adopted. We aren’t siblings by blood.” Arturia explained. “Back to the matter at hand, how was I supposed to know that a fully grown adult man would have such a strong reaction to a woman’s body! That’s more expected of virgin teenagers!” 

“Arturia, I have not had sex for three days despite being horny as fuck. I am at _peak_ levels of hornyness right now. I have been holding back entirely for your sake. Give me some goddamn credit, woman.” Gilgamesh replied angrily. 

Arturia rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Alright. Thank you for holding in your hornyness. But seriously, you wouldn’t be having this problem if you just masturbated like a normal human.” 

“Out of the question.” 

“Then enjoy your passionate celibacy. Just don’t let it get in the way of the war. I’m going to bed now.” Arturia climbed into bed and pulled the covers over herself. “Turn out the lights and close the door when you leave.” She said. “Please.” She added to be polite. 

Gilgamesh stood in place irately for a few minutes, before finally sighing and acquiescing to Arturia’s request. He walked back to his room. ‘I guess I’ll go to sleep too. It’s not like I have anything else better to do.’ He got into bed, grumbling. “Damn woman, thinks I should do something as lowly as masturbation. I have always had women at my disposal. I do not intend to start masturbating at this point in my life. What would really solve this problem is if Arturia just agreed to have sex with me. But noooooo. She doesn’t want to have sex. Jsekjehrjekdjfj. This is frustrating, women are frustrating, being in love is _frustrating!_ FINE. I will just go to sleep and hope this arousal passes in the morning.” He closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be sparse til summer. This doesn’t follow the canon master Arturia storyline (where Gawain is artys dad, Lancelot and Kay are her older brothers, and bedivere is her younger brother), however she does still speak with the masculine “boku.” Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

In her dream, Arturia saw that troublesome, perverse man holding his only friend in his arms, who was crumbling to dust. They kept insisting they were nothing but a weapon, but the king wouldn’t believe it. His friend was a precious treasure—nothing no less sacred. 

Then, the dream changed. There was a giant beast smashing through the walls of a fortress city. The king stood atop a building, with a girl and boy whom she didn’t recognize, and who’s clothing looked entirely out of place in the era they were in. The king said this was Uruk’s final stand. He fired hundreds of weapons with nothing but his own magical energy. “If I work this body to death I can control all of them like this!” He shouted, with pride in his tone. 

Then, a terrible sting in the chest. The king had been sniped from afar by whatever beast stood in the distance. But still, the stubborn king fired his weapons. The young, pink-haired girl begged him to stop. “Are you saying it’s impossible? That I am at my limit? That Uruk cannot fight anymore?” He stubbornly kept firing. 

That’s when Arturia awoke. 

‘That dream...it wasn’t in any legend I’ve heard about Caster.’ Arturia thought on it for a while. ‘Perhaps I’ll ask him later.’ 

That day was Sunday, so Arturia didn’t need to worry about going to school. She had a different schedule for weekends. She still woke up at the same time, but she always took an early morning jog. Usually her jogs were after school, since she didn’t want to risk being late. Arturia put on a sports bra, a polypro shirt, running tights, and her running socks and shoes. She put her hair up into a tight ponytail so that hair wouldn’t get into her eyes. She could braid her hair and put it in a bun later. She did some preliminary stretches in her room first to loosen her limbs. Then, she put her keys in her pocket and exited her room. 

“Caster.” Arturia said, knocking on the door to his room. 

Gilgamesh opened the door. “You can just come in when you need something. A servant should knock, but a wife should be able to enter any room she pleases.” 

“In my house, we knock on doors before we enter to be polite. Anyway, what if I come in and you’re naked or something?” 

“Would that not be a good thing for you? Any woman should be happy to see my nude body.” 

Arturia was not amused. “Just dematerialize. I’m going on a jog.” 

“Is that why you’re wearing a new outfit? It looks nice on you. Those tights really accentuate your ass.” Gilgamesh looked at her body up and down. 

“There really is no end to your sexual comments, is there? Hurry up and dematerialize.” 

“No. I want to jog with you.” 

“The proper way to phrase it would be ‘can I jog with you.’” 

“Why? I’m not asking.” 

Arturia sighed. “Fine. But no sexual comments, okay?” 

“Deal.” 

“I’ll go find you some jogging clothes. My fathers both liked to work out too, so I’m sure they have some old stuff lying around.” Arturia walked to her fathers’ old bedroom. She sifted around their closet for a while. She eventually came out with the first jogging clothes she could find, which happened to be a pink polypro v-neck t-shirt and some neon yellow jogging shorts. She walked back to Gilgamesh and handed him the clothing. “You have approximately three minutes before I leave. Change quickly.” 

Gilgamesh’s eyes widened and he immediately started stripping. A woman had never put a timer on him for something. In fact, no one had. It would’ve been presumptuous for one to do so to a king. What would normally be seen as disrespect was charming in a way to him. 

“I didn’t mean in front of me!” Arturia yelled and shoved him back into his room and shut the door. “That man! What a dunce!” 

Gilgamesh managed to change just before the three minute mark hit, and to Arturia’s dismay, she didn’t get the satisfaction of leaving without him. “Jogging clothing sure is colorful! I have never seen such bright colors on an article of clothing.” He said, looking at the neon shorts. 

‘I’ve never seen a man look so confident in bright neon pink and yellow. Not even my gay fathers.’ Arturia thought. Her eyes drifted to Gilgamesh’s torso. She wasn’t anticipating that the shirt would be so tight fitting. It really showed off his muscles. She mentally chastised herself for getting distracted. “Let’s go.” 

Arturia set the pace first while Gilgamesh ran alongside her. After about twenty minutes, however, he began to lag behind. Soon he was jogging directly behind her. “Are you okay? You’re going pretty slow for a servant.” 

“That’s because I’m not expending mana while running. My speed, agility, strength, and stamina were greatly raised from what they would have been had I not been summoned by such a physically adept master, but I suppose I’m not as fast as you.” That was all, of course, total bullshit. Gilgamesh was purposely behind her because he wanted to watch that ass move up and down in those sweet running tights. But, if he told Arturia such a thing, she would force him to run beside her. At least he’d be able to watch for a little while longer if he lied. 

“Then I’ll slow down to match your pace. It would be rude to go for a run with someone and leave them behind.” Arturia slowed down and began jogging beside Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh sighed. All good things must come to an end eventually, he supposed. It would just be boring if they kept at such a slow pace all morning. “You know what, I think I caught a second wind. Let’s go a bit faster.” Gilgamesh said and ran ahead with incredible speed. 

“Eh?” Arturia ran faster to catch up with him. 

Arturia didn’t like that he was now ahead of her, so she sprinted forward a few feet in front of him. Gilgamesh took this as his cue to start sprinting as well, and soon they had a race with no clear destination or time frame. It became a battle of stamina, who could sprint fastest the longest. Then it became a battle of pride as both of them had reached their limits but refused to slow down or stop. 

The only thing that was keeping Arturia going was pride and endorphins. ‘Of course he can go this fast, he’s a servant! Was he just joking earlier?’ 

Then, on the narrow sidewalk, running side by side, Gilgamesh tripped over Arturia’s foot. He had grabbed the first thing in front of him to try and keep balance, which happened to be Arturia’s arm, and accidentally brought her down with him. Arturia yelped as she fell on top of his back and collided with the ground. 

‘Fuck.’ Gilgamesh thought as Arturia rolled off him. She stayed laying down on her back, trying to catch her breath. Gilgamesh was also winded from all the running. He didn’t think a human would be able to keep up with him, even though he wasn’t the most physically strong servant. Much to his surprise, Arturia started laughing. 

It was a breathless laughter, but no less melodic. Arturia sat up. “I've never ran with someone that could keep up with me. This was fun, I’m glad you came along, even though you can be pretty annoying at times.” She smiled. 

‘She is so fucking cute how is that even possible wifjqnkdks??’ Gilgamesh inwardly screamed. “Haha, if you would just open your heart, you would be able to enjoy my company more.” He said with a smug grin. 

“My heart is fine. You’re just irritating.” Arturia stood up. “But it is sometimes fun to be around you. Why were you going so slow earlier if you could sprint this fast?”

“Who knows?” He knew. He knew full damn well what he’d been doing. 

“I guess I can’t really see a reason for you to pretend to be slower than you are, especially since you’re so prideful.” 

Gilgamesh thanked every god that Arturia was unfamiliar with the motivations of men.

“Let’s go home, we’ve been out for a while.” Arturia said. 

After the touching moment they’d recently had, Gilgamesh wanted to do something romantic, so as they walked side-by-side, he went in to try to hold her hand. Arturia immediately recoiled, holding her hand to her chest protectively. 

“What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“I wanted to hold your hand.” 

“Caster, we are not a couple.” 

“Is holding hands reserved for only couples in this era?” 

Arturia raised her eyebrows. “Well, predominantly, yes. It would be typically assumed that a pair is a couple if they are holding hands.” 

“Really? How curious. It was a normal means of expressing affection in my time. I held hands with my friend Enkidu a great many times.” This was true. Gilgamesh has held Enkidu’s hand many times during life. However—it was still an act he reserved only for those extremely close to him. By saying that it was done between him and a friend, it implies that it is casual, and therefore not a big deal, which was true in its own right. Hand holding was done between him and Enkidu, whom he loved as a friend; but, any and all loves he had possessed for Enkidu, and therefore hand holding could express any love for him. In this case, he would want to express romantic love to Arturia (the woman who is totally, definitely, absolutely destined to be his wife). But by framing hand holding as something informal and platonic, he had a better chance of her allowing him to actually hold her hand. 

“So It’s more of a cultural friendly gesture for you? I see. However, it would feel very strange holding someone’s hand who isn’t my romantic partner. I’ve only held Kay and my parents’ hands. Even if it’s merely a platonic action for you, it would be much more meaningful for me. I’m sorry, but I can’t return the gesture.” Arturia said. 

Damn. It was a good try nonetheless. Gilgamesh breathed sharply through his nose in disappointment. “Fine. I understand your reasoning.” 

They walked back to Arturia’s house, talking about nothing in particular. “We’re both going to have to take showers.” Arturia said, letting her hair down from It’s high ponytail. Gilgamesh tried to follow Arturia into the bathroom, but she blocked him from entering through the door. “I didn’t mean together. I’m taking a shower first. Wait out here.” 

“But it would be much more efficient if we just took a shower at the same time.” Gilgamesh argued. 

Arturia looked as if deliberating something for a moment. “You’re right.” And just as Gilgamesh felt the tiniest bit of hope in his heart, Arturia crushed it in one fell swoop. “There’s a bathroom in my parents bedroom. I can use that. You can go ahead and shower here.” Arturia walked past him and into her parents bedroom, closing the door. 

‘Damn. I am sure if I could just get us both naked at the same time, we’d end up having sex. But how on earth do I make that happen?’ He sighed and entered the bathroom. 

Arturia walked out of her parents bedroom in gym shorts and a tank top. She took a sip from a cold water bottle in the fridge. Her hair still wasn’t dry enough to put up. Her parents didn’t have a hairdryer in their bedroom since they were men. The only hairdryer in the house was in the bathroom that her and Kay used, aka the one Gilgamesh was in right now. Arturia knocked on the door. “Caster, are you finished?” 

“Yes.” 

Arturia opened the door, only to jump back in surprise at seeing Gilgamesh fully naked. “I thought you said you were done!”

“I am finished. I washed my hair and my body.”

“Then why aren’t you dressed?!” 

“You did not provide me with any new clothing. I was not going to put those sweat covered rags on again after washing.” 

Arturia took a deep breath. “Okay, okay, my mistake.” Her eyes trailed over Gilgamesh’s muscles. She hadn’t seen his abs since the day he’d been summoned. They were producing a very different effect on her now. She was trying to keep her eyes from trailing anywhere near his groin. “Just...cover yourself with a towel! I’ll bring you some clothes!” She said and slammed the door. She ran back to her parent’s bedroom and sifted through some of their old clothing. ‘I can’t believe I’m attracted to such a perverted man! He’s not even close to my type. My type is kind, sensitive men who like helping others and know how to cook. Caster isn’t any of those things!’ She calmed herself down. ‘He’s only physically attractive. That’s all. It has nothing to do with him in any other way.’ She reassured herself of this and exited the room, holding new clothes for Gilgamesh to wear. 

Arturia knocked on the door once again. “Caster, I brought clothes.” She opened the door, threw the clothes in, and slammed it shut. A few minutes later, Gilgamesh emerged wearing the clothing Arturia provided. This time it was a purple button down with jeans. Of course, he added his own jewelry for the sake of style. 

Arturia walked past him and took out her hairdryer and hairbrush. She began brushing her hair out and running the hot air from the hairdryer over it. After her hair was dry, she rubbed in some hair oil. 

“What is that?” Gilgamesh asked, who’d been watching her this whole time like a needy love struck puppy. 

“It’s hair oil. It’s supposed to keep your hair healthy.” Arturia explained. 

“I was not expecting you to care about things like that.” Gilgamesh didn’t think she cared much about being a woman. 

“I don’t. Not really, at least. My fathers used to buy me things like this when they were still alive. They liked doting on me and buying girly things. They’d say that they always wanted me to look nice since I was their little girl.” Arturia looked down at the bottle in her hand. “I don’t know why I keep repurchasing this stuff. It’s stupid.” 

“It is not. It’s just being sentimental. It’s normal to feel sentimental about the people you’ve lost.” 

“I’m not a child.” Arturia shot him an angry look. 

Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “I cannot understand this idea in your head. You not only liken sentiment to childishness, but grief itself. In the fewest words I can put it, I find it stupid. Grief is not childish, it is a normal reaction to the loss of a loved one.” He paused. “I lost the person I loved most in the world and grieved for years. Do you believe that I was a pitiful man unworthy of respect because I despaired when my friend died?” 

“Of course not! I could never think something so heartless!” 

“Then apply that to yourself.” 

“You don’t understand. I’m a king. I have no time for grief. I have to worry about saving my lost country. There’s no way you could understand my feelings.” Arturia clenched her fists. 

“You can say that because you have forgotten a crucial detail about me—I am a king myself. I am the king not only of Uruk, but of the whole world. The only true king there is. And if I can say that there is nothing wrong with a king grieving, then you should believe it.” 

“You ruined your country because of those feelings.” It was an extremely low blow. A statement made to hurt. 

“True. Uruk fell to ruin because I left it for years on end. But when I came back I brought it back to prosperity. I defended all of Mesopotamia against terrible beasts. I died twice for my country. I have more than made up for any past mistakes. The stupidest thing I could think of would be to regret any of the grief and fear I felt after Enkidu died that led to my immortality quest. Now, if you will excuse me, I will be waiting in the dining room eagerly awaiting a meal lovingly prepared for me by my wife.” Gilgamesh turned on his heel and began walking towards the dining room. He paused and turned back with a softened face. “You are too hard on yourself. You can die from overworking, you know.” He finally exited the hallway. 

Arturia leaned against the bathroom doorway. ‘Died twice? Terrible beasts? Could that have been what I saw in my dream?’ She wondered. After pondering a while longer, she headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

About half an hour later, Arturia brought two plates and bowls of rice from the kitchen. “I would have made omurice, but I’m not skilled enough, so I just made a normal omelette.” She set down a plate in front of Gilgamesh. She sat down in her chair. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. In your legend you went back to Uruk after your quest. Anyone can infer that you fixed your country.” She sighed. “What you said makes sense. Kay has told me something similar a thousand times, though it feels more impactful coming from a fellow king. I’m just not great with feelings. As a king, I always had to kill my emotions, so I tend to do the same thing now.” Arturia paused. “As an apology, I’ve decided to draw something on your omelette in ketchup.” Arturia grabbed his plate and opened the bottle of ketchup at her side. 

‘Draw something in ketchup as an apology?’ Gilgamesh wondered. 

Arturia maneuvered the bottle, making a large shape. After about a minute, she was finished. She slid the plate back to Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh looked down. Arturia had drawn a heart with a smiley face inside. His heart burst from the cuteness. “All is forgiven! In fact, I do not even remember what we were talking about.” He said with a blissful look. 

“Well, you don’t need to go that far.” Arturia said. “What I really wasn’t expecting was for you to know about karoshi. Did the grail give you that knowledge?” 

“What is ‘karoshi?’” 

“Wait, you mean you don’t know?!” Arturia shot him a confused look. She stood up from her chair, slammed her palms on the table, and leaned over to look directly into Gilgamesh’s eyes. 

She had actually leaned in so close that Gilgamesh leaned back in surprise. He then noticed that, in this position, he could see inside Arturia’s tank top through the sagging neckline. Looking in, he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra, and if he were just a bit lower, he could probably see her nipples. 

Arturia scrutinized his face, then righted herself back into a standing position. “Karoshi is the Japanese word for dying from overworking. ‘Karo’ like overwork, and ‘shi’ like death. It’s a phenomenon almost entirely unique to modern East Asia, primarily Japan. Why does a hedonistic king from ancient Mesopotamia know about a phenomenon centered in modern East Asia if he wasn’t given that knowledge from the Holy Grail?” 

“Look, Arturia, I am a man that knows a lot of things.” 

“Things that you shouldn’t know that the grail didn’t give you?”

“Of course.” 

“And What on earth did you mean earlier about dying twice? There wasn’t any technology in ancient Mesopotamia able to restart a stopped heart.” 

“I lived in the age of gods. As long as you had Ereshkigal’s permission, you could retrieve a soul from Kur.” 

“Caster, how did you know a man can die from overworking?” 

“Because...reasons.” 

“Does it have something to do with the monster attacking Uruk in the dream I had?” 

“So you saw that? Yes, something to do with it.” 

“Tell me.” 

“I don’t really feel like it right now.” Gilgamesh said, waving his hand in dismissal. He began to eat some rice from his bowl. 

Arturia was too stubborn to back down. She wanted to know. She stood up straight, grabbed the waistband of her shorts, and pulled them down, revealing her panties. “How about now? Do you feel like it now?”

Gilgamesh spit out the rice in his mouth and started coughing. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the sight. Arturia’s panties were white with blue horizontal stripes. He was quite literally shaking with shock and hornyness. He went silent for a while, just staring. “...show me the back and I will tell you why I know what death from overworking is.” 

Arturia diligently turned around. 

“Bend over and I will tell you that plus anything else you want to know.” 

Arturia bent over. 

‘Gods, that ass is sweet.’ Gilgamesh’s thoughts were a horny jumble currently. His most coherent thought was that he wanted to make her scream his name while pounding into her from behind. He kept on trying to think of how he could get more. ‘Damn, I should not have used a phrase like ‘anything else’. That is far too broad. I am unhealthily horny. I can’t think straight when I see her like this.’ He’d completely run out of bargaining chips. “L-let me touch it and—“

“Caster!” 

“Fine! I will tell you...” At least Gilgamesh had that sweet image ingrained into his mind forever. 

Arturia pulled her shorts up and sat back down. 

“...right after we finish this delicious meal you so lovingly prepared.” 

“Caster!” 

“What? I am hungry. I cannot tell a long, tedious story on an empty stomach.” Gilgamesh looked down at his plate. “This heart you drew for me is so cute that I almost do not want to destroy it.” 

Arturia took her knife and smeared the ketchup from the heart, killing it. “There. Now eat.” 

Gilgamesh puffed out his cheeks in disappointment. “My, my, so impatient.” He used his knife and chopsticks to cut off a piece of the omelet. He paused after putting it in his mouth, chewing slowly. He used his chopsticks to unfold the omelet and peak at the insides. The omelet was pitch black on the inside. 

“I...may have burned the inside a little.” Arturia said, looking down in embarrassment. 

‘A little?’ Gilgamesh sighed. “I no longer wish to eat this.” He announced. 

“Really, you’ll reject food lovingly prepared for you by your wife?” Arturia said with a dark aura. “And to think I even gave you the less burned omelet.”

“...Arturia—“ 

Arturia stood from her seat and held her butter knife close to Gilgamesh’s neck. “Eat your breakfast, Caster. There’s a rule in this house: you must clear your plate if you want to live here.” There was a lot of emphasis on the word ‘live.’ 

‘It is getting a bit concerning that this is arousing me so much.’ Gilgamesh thought. “Fine. I’ll eat the food.” It took around ten minutes for him to finish his plate, and the entire duration Arturia stood next to him with a knife in her hand. 

Arturia walked back over to her side of the table and sat down. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” She had a satisfied smile on her face. 

“Arturia,” Gilgamesh looked up from his plate, “do you really hate me so much?” 

“Eh?” The question began to register in her mind. “Eh?!”

“I mean, you have threatened me twice with a blade. You are always calling me an idiot, or saying that I am irritating and annoying. I am starting to get the impression that you dislike me.”

“N-no! No! It isn’t that way at all!” 

“I understand that I am merely a tool for you as your servant, but even so, it would hurt even me that you probably regret summoning me.” He shrugged. 

Arturia rose from her seat, her chair being pushed back from the force. “That is absolutely not true! Sometimes I feel that you can be a bit difficult, but I’ve never once regretted summoning you!” She sat back down. “You can be irritating at times, but that’s just because we have different personalities. I do trust you, both as a servant and as a person. I at least know you wouldn’t hurt me, you’ve proven that so far. When I do poke fun at you I never mean it with ill-intent. And besides...I wouldn’t let someone I hated see my panties, not even to get something out of them.”

“So would you say that you like me?” Gilgamesh smirked. 

“You bastard! You were tricking me!” 

“You do not need to make such an angry face. I was only kidding. I merely wanted to see your cute, worried face.” Suddenly, a stinging upon Gilgamesh’s cheek. Arturia had slapped him. It didn’t hurt much at all, it was a very weak slap, but the look on her face made it sting a lot. 

“Bastard! You worried me! I really thought...you believe I think of you as a tool…” 

Arturia truly cared that much about the way he perceived her? She cared that much about his feelings? ‘Enkidu would approve of this woman.’ He thought. Gilgamesh had merely wanted to make Arturia squirm with a question like that, but now he was the one with the racing heart. “I did not think it would offend you so much. I...apologize.” 

Arturia let a breath out of her mouth and sat down. She crossed her arms. “Honestly, that flippant attitude of yours is getting out of hand. Weren’t you ever taught as a boy not to play with a woman’s heart? Someone really ought to put you in your place, and by someone I mean me.” 

“You seem to be the only woman that has ever tried.” It made her a truly splendid woman. Gilgamesh cleared his throat. “I am a man who keeps his word, I will tell you my origin story, or so to speak.”

“I showed you my panties for this so it better be a good story.” Arturia grumbled. 

“I will start from the beginning. I am King Gilgamesh that ruled the city of Uruk, but I did not live the same life as King Gilgamesh. My story diverged into an alternate time, in which Uruk and all of Mesopotamia came under attack. None of this is recorded in history, because none of it happened. No, that is not correct, it did indeed happen, but it was prevented from being in the true history of the past. It was an incident isolated by time, completely separate from the recorded reality. It was known as a Singularity. After my immortality quest, I lived and died in a completely different way than the Gilgamesh that existed in your history. I can explain it all in further detail to you later, including more on the organization that helped me save Mesopotamia, but for now that is all the context you need.”

“I’m going to be honest—I wasn’t expecting that. But go on, I’m listening.” 

“The reason i know about ‘karoshi,’ as you call it, is because I once died from overworking.” 

“I knew it! From when you fired those weapons right?” 

“What?” 

“From my dream. You fired those weapons with only your magical energy, even after you’d been mortally wounded. That’s what caused your death right?” 

“I suppose you could count that time as well, albeit you would have to loosen the definition of ‘karoshi’ a bit. What I technically died of was the wound, but firing the dingirs certainly did hasten my death.” 

“You mean that’s not what you were referring to?” 

“That was my second death. I was referring to my first death. I died working too hard as king doing normal kingly activities. I’ll explain. All of Mesopotamia was under attack by an alliance of three goddesses. Speaking frankly, by the time that organization that I mentioned arrived, around eighty percent of Mesopotamia had already been destroyed. Uruk was one of the only cities left, and hundreds of refugees flocked to my city for safety. I had to deal with keeping the city's economy prosperous while also preparing for a large battle and while taking care of the refugees. To be absolutely honest, I was not giving much attention to my mental or physical well-being. I was barely sleeping or eating, nor was I taking breaks. One day I decided to sit down on my throne and take a nap, and when I awoke I was in kur, the land of the dead.” 

Arturia just stared at him in shock. When everything registered in her mind, she stood up and bowed her head in apology. 

“Arturia?” 

“I sincerely apologize. Truthfully, I had a very bad opinion of you as a king. I believed you were selfish and hedonistic. I was wrong in those assumptions. You were a wonderful king. Though you seem like a crazy sex freak, you’re actually a really good person.” 

‘That last part was entirely unnecessary.’ “Raise your head. A wife need not apologize with such formalities. That is a servant's apology.” 

Arturia raised her head and smiled. “I’d like to hear the rest of the story, if you wouldn’t mind telling me.” 

“It is quite a long story. It may take over an hour.” 

“In that case I will make tea.” Arturia left for the kitchen. 

They talked for hours after that. After Gilgamesh finished his story, Arturia told Gilgamesh more about herself—both her past life and her current life. She felt it would be unfair if he was the only one speaking. They grew a little closer that day, and Arturia gained a new respect for Gilgamesh. 

“Why didn’t you want to tell me earlier? Are you ashamed in some way?” Arturia asked after they’d finished. 

“Of course not. It is merely a long and boring story that I did not feel like telling in that exact moment. Your panties, of course, changed my mind.” Gilgamesh answered. 

“You really would do anything I say just to get in my pants, wouldn’t you?” 

“No...possibly…” 

“Caster.” 

“The probability is high, that is all I will say on the matter. I would rather not recognize my own horny mental weakness. I prefer to believe that I am not so easy.” 

“You mean you’d prefer to believe a lie than the truth?” 

“Of course! How can you be an adult if you cannot believe a lie?! There is barely a distinction between a lie and the truth to begin with! I want you to lie to me and tell me I am mentally strong! Not cruelly remind me that I would probably let you torture me just for one round of sex!” 

Arturia couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. 

“Do not laugh at me!” Gilgamesh said with a slight blush. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I just never thought your dumb talk would become endearing.” 

Now Gilgamesh was blushing for an entirely different reason. He turned his head and covered his face to, hopefully, obscure his flushed face. 

“I’m going to go train. You wait here and read manga or something.” Arturia said, smiling. “When I finish we’ll go to Rin’s house to discuss our alliance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter this time! I wanted to finish something up and hopefully bring some cheer. The whole virus thing is crazy and no ones leaving their house. It must be boring for everyone, so here’s a new chapter of fanfiction! Romcoms are amazing in times of great distress. Hopefully this chapter brought a smile to your face! Thanks for reading! Next chapter everyone’s gonna have a drunk sleepover at Rin’s house!


	4. Chapter 4

_Ring ring._

Arturia picked up her ringing phone. “Kay?”

_“Arty, just wanted to tell you that I’ll be coming to Japan in three days.”_

“What?! No! I said wait until the Holy Grail War is over!” 

_“Well, I feel like coming sooner.”_

“No. Kay, I’m serious. It’s too dangerous for you to be here.” 

_“Well, I’ll reconsider if you send me a picture of your servant.”_

Arturia sighed. “Fine. Hold on, I’ll take one.” Arturia exited her room and walked to the couch in the living room where Gilgamesh resided. “Caster, say cheese.” 

“What?” Gilgamesh heard a clicking sound. 

Arturia sent the photo. Her phone rang again about a minute later. “Hello?” 

_“HOLY SHIT ARTURIA WHY IS HE SO HOT???” Kay yelled._

“Stop yelling.” 

_“You’re telling me that you have a guy that looks like THAT living with you and you don’t want to sleep with him?!”_

“I’m not going to sleep with him just because he’s hot.” 

_“Let me talk to him.”_

“I’m not going to let you talk to him!” 

_“C’mon Arty! Let me talk to him!”_

“No, Kay.” The phone was suddenly snatched from Arturia. “Caster, give it back!” 

“You wanted to talk to me?” Gilgamesh asked. “It better have something to do with Arturia. I am a busy man.” 

_“In the photo Arty just sent me you were reading manga.”_

“I was _busy_ reading manga. Do not question me.” 

_“Whatever. Just explain to me why you’re so fucking hot.”_

“I was granted perfect beauty by the god Shamash when I was created.” 

_“That guy did a damn good job.”_

“Are you just going to flirt with me? I will give the phone back to Arturia if that is all you want to say.” 

_“Look, bro, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do something for you, if you do something for me. I’ll give you a tip on how to get Arturia to fall in love with you, but you have to do something in return.”_

“...I’m listening.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“I’ll give you a tip that will make her throw herself at you.”_

“Throw herself?” That sounded very appealing to Gilgamesh. “What makes you qualified to give such information anyway?” 

_“I’m her big brother! Y’know, Arty used to say all the time that she wanted to marry me.”_

“What?! But you’re her brother!” 

_“Well, she was around five, but that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve lived with her for a long time, I know what will gain her affection. But you gotta do something for me in return.”_

“What is it you want me to do?” 

_“Phone sex.”_

“Absolutely not.” 

_“I get that you’re saving yourself for Arty, but phone sex isn’t even really sex. It’s more like mutual masturbation.”_

“I don’t do that.” 

_“What?”_

“I don’t masturbate.” 

_“What?!”_

“Did I stutter?” 

_“Let me get this straight, you’re in love with Arty, you want to have sex with her, but are waiting for her to accept you first, you’re refusing to have sex with anyone else, and you aren’t masturbating to cope?! Jesus fucking Christ! You must be so pent up!”_

“You are not wrong in saying that, but it is nothing I cannot handle.” 

_“Fine. I guess no phone sex. How about a nude?”_

“What’s a nude?” 

_“A nude picture.”_

“No.” 

_“Oh come on, give me something to work with.”_

“I refuse to send you a nude image. My body is reserved for people I want to have sex with and people I deem worthy. 

_“Well, why can’t you want to have sex with me?”_

“Because I want your sister!” 

_“God, you’re so unreasonable. Brother, sister, there’s barely a difference! You know, I can be quite similar to Arty in some regards.”_

“From what I have gathered of your personality based on our conversations, you and Arturia are as different as the sun and the moon.” 

_“The sun and the moon give off the same light, you know. The moon’s light is just reflected sunlight. They aren’t that different.”_

“That is even worse! Arturia is the sun—giving off bright, blinding beauty. Allowing everyone around her to bask in her radiance. Warming the earth and providing light and clarity. You are like the moon, merely imitating the radiance of the sun. Borrowing from the sun’s light without giving off any originality. An imitation, a copycat, a wannabe, a _faker_.” 

_“Damn. I’ve never been owned that hard before. Especially not in such an eloquent way. I think I’m legally, like, your slave now?”_

“I do not want you as my slave. I do not want you as my anything! What I want is your advice on how to get Arturia to throw herself at me!” 

_“Fine. How about I give you a few sexy lines to say, and you say them for me? Will that work?”_

Gilgamesh sighed. “I guess.” 

_“Damn, you really must have no chance if you’re this annoyed and are still relying on me. Haha, you must be fucked.”_

“Shut up, mongrel!” 

_“Oh? Mongrel? So you’re into that kind of play. Yeah, I could get into that. Call me mongrel anytime, honey~”_

Gilgamesh cringed so hard that he wanted to bite his tongue and die. “Get back on topic.”

_“Okay, right. I’ll give you a few lines to say. In return, I’ll give you my ultra-super-fantástico lovey-dovey tip.”_

“Fine.” 

_“Say this: Kay, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. I wish I was with you right now. I want you so badly that I can’t stand it. I love you way more than Arturia.”_

“Take out the last part. I cannot possibly say something like that.” 

_“Fine.”_

Gilgamesh paused. “Mongrel, you swear that your tip will work.” 

_“Trust me.”_

“I do not have even a tiny bit of trust in you.” 

_“Then take a leap of faith. I’m qualified to give this advice. I’ll even throw in a bonus—I’ll tell you why she has a crush on that kid Shirou.”_

Gilgamesh did really want to know that. It was something his mind could not comprehend. Why a gorgeous woman would fall for a plain, unexceptional guy like Shirou was beyond him. “Fine. I’ll say it.” Gilgamesh went to another room and closed the door, then repeated the horrid words Kay wanted him to say. His voice was robotic and insincere.

_“Nice. That got me half-hard. If only you said it with more emotion I could have gotten a full boner.”_

Gilgamesh cringed all over his body. “Mongrel, if we did not have the barrier of distance between us, I would have killed you by now.”

_“I wouldn’t mind getting killed by a hot guy like you. I would just like to remind you, however, that I’m Arty’s brother, and I doubt she’d forgive you if you killed me.”_

“Just tell me the tip.” 

_“Alrighty. What you need with Arturia is an emotional confrontation. You need to have some big heart-to-heart in which your feelings pour out. Arty may seem very boyish, but she’s actually quite the romantic. I’ve caught her reading my shoujo manga before. She’s a sucker for sincerity. If I ever needed something from her, I just needed to cry and explain why I wanted it and she’d usually comply. You also need to let her get to know you. You need to show her all your good qualities. Slowly, all your dumb flirting will become cute to her.”_

Gilgamesh recalled something Arturia had said earlier that day. ‘I just never thought your dumb talk would become endearing.’ Gilgamesh was taken slightly by surprise. ‘Holy shit he’s right.’ Arturia’s opinion of him did seem to go up after he told her more about himself. Not to mention she’d been acting much more friendly with him since then. 

_“As for my suggestions for an emotional moment, either letting her comfort you or you comforting her would work. There’s also the possibility of making up after a fight. They do say that fighting brings people closer together. Just be sincere, get closer to her, share your emotions, and you’ll be good.”_

It was solid advice. Gilgamesh didn’t think it would necessarily make Arturia throw herself at him, but he didn’t care much about that anyway. It did seem like a good way to grow a stronger bond with Arturia. 

_“You know, you actually have a natural advantage right now compared to your love rival Shirou.”_

“Natural advantage?” 

_“You’re Arturia’s servant. You’ll be going to battle with her, and coming home with her at the end of the day. You’ll be fighting together and protecting each other. Not to mention you’re living together. Don’t you guys share dreams too? In any case, you two will be having a lot of good alone time together.”_

“Tell me about that mongrel. Why does she like him so much?” 

_“Arturia likes kind guys that help people. Bonus points if they know how to cook. She’s more attracted to men emotionally than physically, which is why she has a crush on a plain looking guy like Shirou. Shirou is always ready to help others, no matter the situation. Personally, I don’t think that’s healthy, and Arturia knows that as well, but she finds that part of him attractive nonetheless. She also loves Shirou’s cooking. The way to Arturia’s heart is through her stomach.”_

“I see.” Gilgamesh didn’t think he would necessarily be considered kind. He helped his people both out of love and duty. Instead of being a person that helps people, he’s a king that helps his subjects. The distinction was that one helps others voluntarily without gain while the other does so out of duty and responsibility. Gilgamesh wondered if Arturia cared about that distinction. Arturia was a king herself, so surely she had respect for a king that helps out of duty. “Well mongrel, I have deemed your information useful, and therefore will allow you to live.” 

_“Well, at least I have a chance with you if I’m alive.”_

“No, you do not.” 

_“You say that but I’m sure I can wear you down.”_

“I would rather kill myself.” 

_“God, you sound like Arty. Maybe you two are a good match.”_

“...you really think we seem like a good match?” 

Kay laughed. _“Oh my god, you’re so desperate! It’s kind of cute, honestly.”_

“Shut up! I am hanging up now!” Gilgamesh hung up the phone and returned to the living room. 

Arturia sat angrily on the couch waiting for Gilgamesh to return her phone. Gilgamesh handed her the phone. “You were seriously taking love advice from my brother? Gross.” 

Gilgamesh leaned over the couch, feeling exhausted from the annoying conversation with Kay. 

Arturia felt almost bad for him. “Kay can be a handful. I’ll tell him to stop flirting with you next time he calls.” Arturia put her hand on his shoulder in sympathy. 

Just as Arturia was about to remove her hand, Gilgamesh grabbed it and pressed it to his face. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Wh-What are you doing?!” Arturia asked, her cheeks flushing. 

“I just had to say the grossest shit to your brother. Let me have this small comfort for a moment.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Er, okay.” Arturia relented. Her cheeks were a rosy pink. Having her palm pressed to Gilgamesh’s cheek felt like an extremely intimate action. 

“Your hand is shaking.” Gilgamesh commented. 

Arturia turned red. “It isn’t! Your entire body is just shaking from your traumatic conversation with my brother.” She lied. 

“Ah, is it? I see.” Gilgamesh said without even opening his eyes. 

‘Is this what he meant by adults being able to believe a lie, or does he just not care that I’m lying?’ Arturia tried to relax and stop herself from shaking. She tried to think about anything other than the warmth of Gilgamesh’s cheek. “We need to leave to go to Rin’s house.” 

Gilgamesh sighed and stood up, letting go of Arturia’s wrist. “Alright. We can go.” 

Arturia and Gilgamesh put on their shoes and left the house. They walked side by side on the sidewalk. 

“So, do you really think I am hot?” Gilgamesh asked.

“What?!” 

“You said to your brother, ‘I am not going to sleep with him just because he is hot.’ That implies that you think I am hot. Am I attractive to you?” 

Arturia was trying her best to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. “You are physically attractive. Even I can see that. But don’t think that I’d fall for you just for a silly reason like that!” 

“I would not want you to. That would be much less fun.”

“ _Hmph_ , but you’re always complaining that I won’t have sex with you.” Arturia crossed her arms. 

“Well, I would prefer it if my wife did not only want to have sex with me because of my appearance. I would not mind fucking a prostitute, or any other mongrel woman, in fact that is the only sex I would have with a mongrel. But with someone I deem worthy and wish to become my wife, sex should be a bit more...intimate, perhaps?” 

“So even you have romantic thoughts like that, huh? I wasn’t really expecting that. I just figured you’d want sex.” 

“How rude. Even I want intimacy once in a while. Intimacy with friends, intimacy with lovers, it is all the same in the end, is it not? A connection with an equal, someone who will not submit, someone _worthy._ I do not think that desire is particularly romantic. It seems more like a human desire to me.” 

“It was more humanity than I expected from a demi-god. Don’t you think all humans are mongrels?”

Gilgamesh shot her a confused look. “Was your impression of me that I look down upon people because I am part god? Fool! I look down on mongrels because I am king! If anything, the godly parts of me are the inferior parts.” 

Arturia’s eyes widened. “Eh?!” 

“Do not act so shocked. Of course I would prefer humanity over the gods. I spent my entire life opposing the gods. Even my divinity as a servant is lowered for that reason. The gods certainly are not the reason I consider myself superior to mongrels. I would have preferred to have been born human, if anything. As long as I am still king, divinity matters not.” 

“I don’t get it. Why would you think the godly parts are inferior?” 

“Because the gods are assholes!” Gilgamesh said with hatred. “They are little whiny bitches that cannot handle simple rejection and attack my city for dumb reasons! They lose to me and take away my best friend as revenge! THEY LOSE GUGULANNA AT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF A BATTLE! Goddesses are worthless! I do not even know why I allowed her to join our forces in the first place! Well, technically it was my idea...but even so!” 

“Your hate-filled ramblings keep getting more specific…” 

“Well, the pseudo-servant version of Ishtar was not too terrible, but as a full goddess she was a total bitch!” Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “Anyway, we got off topic. Am I attractive to you?” 

“This is just your vanity. You just want to hear me say it out loud, don’t you?” 

“Perhaps. Or maybe I have a different reason that you could not possibly understand.” It was the former. 

Arturia sighed. “If you must know, your appearance is almost perfect in every way.” 

“Hold on— _almost?_ ”

“Yes. Almost. There is one thing I dislike about your appearance.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh brainstormed a list of what Arturia could possibly dislike, but he came up empty. He was perfect in every way! “What part of me do you dislike?”

“Your eyes.” 

“Do you not like the color?” 

“No. I actually think they’re a very beautiful shade of red. I meant your pupils.” 

“My pupils?!” 

Arturia made rings with her fingers and framed them around her eyes. “You have weird snake pupils! They appear very unfriendly. You look like a shape-shifting humanoid reptile creature trying to blend in with society, like in sci-fi movies.” 

“I do not understand that comparison, but regardless I do not like it! I am not a snake person! I hate snakes!” 

“You know what? You actually fit the personified characteristics of a snake pretty well. Charming, morally grey, and having extreme, almost obsessive, sexual desire. You’re absolutely a slimy, slippery, slithering snake.” 

“First of all, snakes are not slimy or slippery, if anything they are scaly—“

“See? Now you’re defending your own kind.” 

“They are not my kind!” 

“Hey, can you see better than us in the dark?” 

“What?” 

“Snakes that have slitted pupils are nocturnal. Their slitted eyes help them see in the dark and have greater ocular focus on their prey, so I was wondering if your eyes have those properties too.” 

“How am I supposed to know? I have only seen the world through these eyes! I could not possibly be able to compare them to what you see because I do not know what you see. I would have to be inside your body to understand what your range of nocturnal vision is.” 

“I don’t see how sex is going to make you any more aware of my nocturnal vision.” 

“Well, that is certainly one way to interpret my words, but I meant something entirely different. I meant—“ 

“I know what you meant. You don’t need to explain it. Jeez, do all men think women are stupid creatures that can’t understand meaning?” 

“What?! You were the one that twisted my words in the first place!” 

“Of course I was. Who’s going to twist your words if not me?” Arturia said. “Even so, you’re probably perverted enough to use that meaning in your words anyway. Everything is about sex to you. My breasts, my ass, my panties—everything is sexual.” 

“Those examples are all innately sexual things. I think calling that ‘everything’ is rather misleading…” 

“Perhaps.” Arturia said. “I learned that you dislike snakes today. Is there anything else you dislike other than snakes and Ishtar?” 

“Oh, you know, snakes, Ishtar, amongst other things.” 

“Yes, but what are those ‘other things.’” 

“Other things. Concepts, ideas, things, _people_ , just general stuff.” 

“Are you embarrassed to talk about it or something?” 

“Embarrassed? I’m not embarrassed about anything! I have nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

“Oh my god it’s you. You dislike yourself, don’t you?” 

“I happen to like myself very much.” 

“But you aren’t denying that you dislike yourself.”

“I believe that there is a right to remain silent in this country.”

“Could it be...you’re self-aware of your douchebaggery?” 

Gilgamesh laughed. “ _Ha!_ Self-aware! You underestimate my ability to keep myself unaware of my deep-seated issues.” 

“You mean that you have issues that you just _ignore?_!” 

“Hush now, darling, this is how adults handle their problems.” 

“Adults?! What do adults have to do with this?! If you have a problem you should acknowledge it and try to fix it!” 

“Ah, the passionate bloom of a child’s youth!” 

“I’m not a child! I lived until adulthood in my previous life! I grew to be twenty-six!” 

“Twenty-six! How young! Still in the throws of youthful naïveté!” 

“You’re calling me a child and yet you talk constantly about how much you want to have sex with me. Don’t you see something wrong with that?” 

“You are physically and sexually mature. I see no problem. Besides, mental maturity is much harder to acquire. I was physically mature by the time I met Enkidu, but I only became mentally mature after my immortality quest.” 

“So how old were you, then?”

“Well, in Mesopotamia, we did not have the same yearly system as you to calculate age. I mentioned that I was a physical adult by the time I met Enkidu. My search for immortality took as many years as I had been alive at that point.” 

“Lets say, hypothetically, you were twenty when Enkidu died. You mean your immortality quest would have taken twenty years?!” 

“Approximately.” 

“If you manifested from after your immortality quest, why do you still look twenty?! Where are your wrinkles? Your balding? Any signs of aging?!” 

“I never thought about that. Maybe it is because I am part god?” 

“Gross. You’re a middle aged man lusting after a girl you initially thought was twelve. That’s weird.” 

“Let us overlook that fact for the sake of decency.” 

“Pedo.” 

Gilgamesh’s head hung low. “Arturia, do not make me into a worse person than I already am. Even my pride can be hurt by being called a pedophile.” 

“Fine. In consolation, I will inform you that I am a few years past the age of consent in Japan. Anything we do would be entirely legal. Though not in Japan, I would be recognized as a legal adult in multiple other countries. That being said, we won’t be doing anything sexual so none of this information is applicable anyway.” Arturia said. 

“Thank you.” 

Arturia moved closer to him and pressed her shoulder against his, resting her head against his arm. This gesture greatly surprised Gilgamesh. “You don’t have to lie if you don’t have the greatest self-esteem. I don’t have the best self-esteem either. Or at least that’s what Kay says. I’m not the best at analyzing my emotions. 

Gilgamesh was surprised she’d confide something so private to him. 

“I appear very confident, but I have trouble trusting my judgement as a leader. My entire country fell to ruin because of me. That causes some feelings of self-doubt.” Arturia said. “As you pointed out, I’m not good with expressing my emotions. Kay says I bottle things up too much.” Her eyes narrowed and she looked at the ground. “Kay has called me inhuman before. He says I appear too perfect. To him, I’m too just, too selfless, and too stoic. That would make sense. Even I’m my previous life, I was called a king that could not understand the human heart.” 

“Arturia, you were just making fun of me for my snake pupils. You seem pretty human to me.” 

“I don’t know why, but I feel a bit more open with you. I don’t usually make fun of others, but I actually enjoy teasing you. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I dislike you.” 

“Ouch.” 

“Well, I disliked you at first. You’ve actually become quite endearing lately, flaws and all.” 

Gilgamesh laughed. “I knew you would come to like me eventually.” 

“You realize this doesn’t mean I’m accepting your proposal, right?” 

“Sadly, yes.” 

“Good.” They turned the last corner and walked a few houses down. “We’re here.” 

“It is bigger than your house.” Gilgamesh observed. “Not even close to as big as my palace, but larger than most houses I have seen in the modern era.” 

“It’s a mansion. The Tohsaka family is wealthy. I just grew up in a normal middle class family.” Arturia explained. 

“It must have been hard for you to grow up so poor. It is almost enough to bring me to tears.” 

“I said ‘middle class.’ What part of ‘middle class’ do you not comprehend?”

“Well, wealth and luxury does not really matter in life.”

Arturia was surprised to hear such words from the richest man on earth. 

“Before I met Enkidu, I had all the money in the world and was still unhappy. My life was filled with joyful things, but never happiness. I would have gladly given away all my treasures and wealth just to be with Enkidu. Luxury is great, but it cannot compare to friendship.”

Arturia smiled at him. “I think you’re absolutely right.” She rang the doorbell. 

Gilgamesh and Arturia waited a few minutes before Rin finally answered the door. Rin greeted them with a wide smile. “Arturia, it’s good to see you. I have a few grail war updates. Come in.” Rin escorted Arturia and Gilgamesh into her living room, where they found Shirou and Saber sitting. “We were attacked last night by Berserker.” Rin got straight to the point. 

“Really?! Shit! I should have stayed with you guys! Is anyone hurt?” Arturia said in worry. 

“It’s okay. Shirou did get hurt, but he has some weird healing power. That isn’t important right now. What’s important is Berserker. He’s the demigod Heracles. His master is Illyasviel von Einzbern. Do you know about the Einzbern family?” 

That name rang a bell to Arturia, but she couldn’t place where she’d heard it before. She shook her head. 

“They’re one of the three mage families that created the Holy Grail War. The Einzberns, Tohsakas, and Makiris. They specialize in alchemy and homunculi.” 

Arturia sat down next to Shirou. She let her hand rest on his chest. “Shirou, where did you get hurt?” 

“My...everywhere. It was from Archer’s noble phantasm. I kind of died, but I’m totally fine now.” Shirou answered. 

Arturia moved closer to Shirou in worry, trying to examine his body, much to the embarrassment of Shirou. Suddenly, Gilgamesh plopped himself right in between them, forcing them to separate. 

“Caster, What the hell are you doing?!” Arturia said. 

“I just felt like sitting here.” Gilgamesh replied, crossing his arms. 

“There’s not enough room, Caster. This couch is only made for three people.” Arturia said through gritted teeth. With Arturia, Gilgamesh, Shirou, and Saber on the same couch, that made four people. 

“There is a simple solution to that. There is a two person couch over there, how about you and I move there?” Gilgamesh suggested. 

“I sat here because I wanted to sit here.” Arturia leaned in closer. “Quit acting like a jealous baby, Caster.” 

“Jealous? _Ha!_ I have never felt jealousy for a person in my entire life.” As of late, that statement had turned into a lie. He’d been feeling very possessive over Arturia lately, and envied Shirou for being Arturia’s crush. 

“Move your ass to the other couch before I pick you up and _throw_ you there.” Arturia said, growing more irritated by the second. 

“You may be strong, Arturia, but I am afraid winning against me, a servant, is still out of your power.” 

Rin and Shirou watched in horror at the master/servant fight about to start. Saber watched with amusement. 

“Is it really, snake boy? You’re forgetting, there’s one way a master can always win against their servant.” Arturia lifted up the sleeve of her shirt, revealing the red markings on her hand. 

Gilgamesh’s eyes widened. “You would not _dare_.” 

“Wouldn’t I?” 

“You know how I feel about command seals.” 

“Yes, I do.” 

“Not to mention those things are _valuable_ in the case of an emergency.” 

“Indeed, they are. They are valuable in getting my annoying servant to obey me.” Arturia said, making Gilgamesh gasp in absolute shock. Arturia’s hand began to glow. “Caster, with my command seal—“

Saber stood from his seat. “I believe there is an easier way to solve this problem.” He said, extending his hand to Arturia. “Arturia-sama, would you like to accompany me to the other couch? It is obvious that Caster wishes to spend some time alone with my master.” 

Arturia’s hand stopped glowing. She looked at her servant, whose mouth was gaping in horror at the thought of being left alone with Shirou. “Yes, I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Arturia took Saber’s hand and walked with him to the other couch, sitting down. “You’ll have plenty of time to spend with Shirou now, Caster.” 

Gilgamesh was so angry that he wanted to kill someone. “This is all your fault.” Gilgamesh said to Shirou through gritted teeth.

“M-me?” Shirou said, buckling under the weight of Gilgamesh’s glare. 

“All of you shut up. We have battle plans to discuss. Berserker is a goddamn _beast_. Saber was barely able to hold him off and Archer's arrows literally did _nothing_ to him.” Rin said. 

Archer materialized himself standing next to the couch Rin sat on. “Only the highest caliber of noble phantasms can pierce his skin. On top of that, he has twelve lives. We’ve only killed him once, and that was only from Saber’s noble phantasm. I’m positive I can kill him, but I don’t think I can kill him eleven more times.” 

“I am of the same belief. I know my noble phantasm can kill him at least six times at full power, but the problem is that Shirou isn’t supplying me with much magical energy. I’ll have to conserve my mana by reserving my noble phantasm for Berserker. I may have to take a backseat for the other servant battles with the exception of melee combat.” Saber said. 

Rin nodded, then turned to Gilgamesh. “Caster?” 

Gilgamesh eyed Rin suspiciously, not wanting to reveal his abilities to a girl that would become his enemy. 

“It’s alright, Caster. She’s an ally.” Arturia reassured. 

Gilgamesh sighed. “I do not believe I am best suited for combat against Berserker. I may be able to kill him a few times, but I would need to be clever about it. I do not think I would be able to kill him with my axe—“ 

“Maybe you should just give it to Arturia-sama. I’m sure she’d be able to fight berserker if she had a noble phantasm.” Saber interrupted. 

Gilgamesh ignored the comment. “—as I am not of the best close combat ability.” He knew he wasn’t nearly as strong in this form, it would be silly to delude himself into believing he was. If he had been summoned as an archer, he would be able to take care of Berserker with no problem. Weaker or not, he knew that, at the very least, he would protect Arturia without fail, as was a husband's duty. 

“That’s good to know. I can probably devise a plan with this.” Rin said. 

Then, a loud stomach grumble. 

“I’m…” Arturia’s stomach grumbled again. “I’m sorry…” 

“It’s fine.” Rin laughed. “I’ll get started on dinner right away.” She stood up. “Shirou, come with me.” 

“Okay.” Shirou followed behind Rin to the kitchen. 

After about twenty minutes, a delicious scent filled the air. ‘This smell, are they cooking seafood? It smells so good.’ Arturia’s mouth was watering from the scent. 

‘She looks so eager that you would think she is getting _aroused_ from this…’ Gilgamesh thought. 

Finally, Rin and Shirou finished setting the food out. Everyone sat down at the table. Gilgamesh made it a priority to sit next to Arturia. Arturia didn’t even notice, she was too busy looking longingly at the food in front of her. Rin and Shirou had made stir-fried udon noodles with seafood, with sides of rice and miso soup. 

“You’re not going to eat?” Rin asked Archer, who was still standing. “I made plenty. There’s even enough for seconds.” 

Archer shook his head. “You enjoy your frivolity. I’ll guard outside.” He dematerialized. 

‘Asshole.’ Gilgamesh thought. 

Rin, Arturia, and Shirou put their hands together, ready to speak in unison. 

“What are you doing?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’d like to know as well.” Said saber. 

“Ah, right. We have foreigners here. In Japan, you put your hands together and say ‘itadakimasu’ to thank the host for the meal. It isn’t necessary if you’re eating alone but it’s polite to do so if someone has cooked for you.” 

“I see.” Saber put his hands together as well. 

“Caster, you’re supposed to put your hands together.” Arturia said. 

“I do not wish to say thank you to mongrels who are already expected to cook for me.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Caster, I don’t marry men who aren’t grateful for what they’re given.” 

Gilgamesh sighed. This was a necessary sacrifice to get Arturia to fall for him. 

Everyone said ‘itadakimasu’ in unison and began to eat. Everyone, except Gilgamesh. 

“Are you not hungry, Caster?” Arturia asked. 

“It is not that. Food made by mongrels would hardly suit the palate of a king—“ 

Arturia grabbed Gilgamesh by the collar and pulled his head towards her, shaking the entire table. Her face was darkened with fury. “Caster, you will eat the food that’s been given to you and you will be grateful for it, or else I swear I will maim your body until it is unrecognizable. You heal as a servant, so don’t think for a second that I’ll go easy on you.” She released Gilgamesh’s collar. 

Suddenly, Gilgamesh was eating along with everyone else; though, significantly more aroused than the people around him. ‘It is _so hot_ when she gets scary like that.’ Gilgamesh thought with a shiver. He wasn’t the slightest bit ashamed, even when Saber chuckled at his behavior. 

‘It’s only been a few days and Arturia already knows how to control him. Love is scary…’ Rin thought. 

Arturia ate her food with fervor. She hadn’t had such delicious food in a long time. She finished her stir-fry in five minutes and immediately got seconds. She ate with manners, but incredibly quickly. Gilgamesh believed she was making a face of pleasure similar to an orgasm. Arturia didn’t even notice everyone staring at her until her third portion. It was then she realized everyone else had only finished about half of their first plate. “I...um…haven’t had such good food in a while…” 

“Ah! My wife has such adorable quirks!” Gilgamesh said with adoration, only making Arturia more embarrassed. 

‘She has the appetite of a king! I pale in comparison to my beloved idol, King Arthur!’ Saber thought in awe. 

“I’m sorry, I must seem disgusting…” Arturia said with a flushed face. 

“It isn’t disgusting, only a bit surprising. I’m glad to see that you like the food we prepared though.” Shirou said. 

“I am glad you think that, because I would have killed you if you had said anything else.” Gilgamesh said with a deadly smile, making Shirou feel a slight shiver down his spine. 

“It isn’t disgusting, but maybe you should eat slower so that you don’t choke, Arturia.” Rin said, smiling. 

“Okay.” Arturia nodded her head and went back to her food. 

Gilgamesh opened his Gate of Babylon and pulled out a pitcher of wine and two cups. He poured himself wine, then set one cup in front of Arturia and filled hers as well. “I believe it would only be fitting to partake in some wine during this meal.” 

“C-Caster! You know I’m underage…!” Arturia said. 

“You drank some earlier. I don’t see a problem.” Gilgamesh said. Arturia’s face immediately went beet red. 

“Arturia engaging in underage drinking? I never knew you could break the rules like that. How naughty~” Rin teased. 

“N-no! I’m not naughty! I...I…!” 

“Of course she would drink some. It is the finest wine from my country and the best wine you could ever taste in any era.” 

“Really? Is that true, Arturia?” Rin asked. 

Arturia was still blushing as she spoke. “Yes. It’s the best wine I’ve ever tasted.” 

“Oh? The best you’ve ever tasted? How much underage drinking have you been doing?” Rin asked. 

“No! That isn’t what I meant!” 

“Arturia really is a naughty girl. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone~” Rin winked. Arturia was shaking with embarrassment. 

Gilgamesh groaned, sensing that Rin was finding sadistic pleasure in teasing Arturia. “Enough of that nonsense. Arturia drinking is not a big deal. Drinking with me was the first time she’s drunk alcohol while underage.” 

“I know it isn’t a big deal. Actually, I’ve always wanted to try wine.” Rin said. She remembered watching her father drink it all the time when she was a child. She was never allowed to taste it, but she was always curious. 

“I’d like a taste as well if it truly is the best wine Arturia-sama has ever tasted.” Saber concurred. 

Gilgamesh sighed and produced three more cups from his Gate of Babylon. He threw a cup to Rin, Shirou, and Saber. Then, he placed the pitcher of wine in the center of the table. 

Rin and Saber readily poured themselves a drink while Shirou was much more hesitant about it. 

“I don’t know if we should be breaking the drinking laws like this…” Shirou said. 

“Oh come on, no one listens to those laws anyway.” Rin said. She took a sip of wine and blushed. “Wow, this really is amazing!” 

“I agree, I’ve never tasted such a fine wine.” Saber said. 

Shirou’s curiosity got the better of him and he poured himself a cup. His eyes widened after he took a sip. “Wow…” 

“It is just as I said. It is the finest wine you will ever taste.” Gilgamesh said. He looked down in surprise as Arturia lightly tapped his arm. 

“Thank you for sharing with everyone. That was very nice of you.” Arturia said with a sincere smile. 

‘She’s...she’s so cute!’ Gilgamesh thought, very glad he made the decision to share. 

They ate for thirty minutes longer, before everyone had finished their meals. Arturia had finished many meals, and Saber, trying to imitate his idol, finished two. Arturia and Rin had finished two glasses of wine, Shirou had finished one, Saber had finished three, and Gilgamesh had finished four. 

“The food was good, wasn’t it Caster?” Arturia said with a smile, confident he’d say yes. 

“It was satisfactory, but I have had better.” Gilgamesh answered. 

Arturia was absolutely shocked. The food had tasted amazing! “You...you can manage to be nice about my cooking, but you can’t even compliment this delicious food?!” 

“I cannot help it. Your cooking is edible because it was made by the woman I love. This was made by mongrels whom I have no connection to.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia had to keep herself from blushing. “Whatever…” She managed to say. “You should still be thankful for our meal…” 

“I am. I am thankful this meal brought you such great pleasure, even if it did not suit me.” Gilgamesh had felt a small spark of joy watching Arturia eat so happily with her friends. 

Arturia couldn’t keep the blush off her face this time. Thankfully, it blended in with the natural blush from the alcohol. 

“Drinking together with everyone makes it feel like we’re going to play a kings game.” Rin said jokingly. 

“A kings game?” Saber asked. 

“Oh, right. My brother used to play those a lot with his friends.” Arturia commented. 

“What is a kings game?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Well, it’s when a group of friends label chopsticks or slips of paper with numbers. One chopstick will be have a red label, and the person who draws it becomes the king. The king can then order any player to do whatever they want, _however_ they can only choose players by numbers, while the players keep their drawn numbers a secret.” Rin explained. 

“Well, do you want to play?” Saber asked everyone. “I’m in. It sounds fun.” 

“I cannot play a game where someone else is named king. I am the only true king.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Caster, it wouldn’t be as fun if you’re not playing with us…” Arturia said, looking at him with disappointment in her eyes. 

Gilgamesh’s cheeks flushed from the cuteness. “Well, I suppose it would not hurt as long as it is merely a game.” He said, making Arturia smile. 

‘He’s so easy to control. Are all men like this?’ Rin wondered. “Okay, okay. I’ll get the game ready. Rin cut slips of paper and drew a crown symbol on one in red, and labeled the rest of them one through four. She folded up each paper, so that the number would be hidden, and put them in a small cardboard box. She brought the box to the table. “Alright. This should be good.” She straightened herself up. “There will be a few rules. Remember, this is a drinking game, so the first rule is to keep drinking while playing. Getting plastered is half the fun. Rule number two is no lewd requests.” This rule was obviously aimed at one specific participant in the game. “The last rule is that you absolutely _must_ obey the orders you’re given, without exception, so long as they don’t break the rules.” 

‘I like the sound of this game, even if I cannot make lewd requests.’ Gilgamesh thought. The idea of making Arturia obey any request he wanted gave him a small rush of pleasure. 

The game began and everyone drew their papers. Saber laughed. “Looks like I drew king first.” He tapped his chin as if in thought, even though he already knew what order he wanted to give. He grinned. “I order number three to only be able to give one order for the entire game, no matter how many times they draw king.” 

Gilgamesh stood up in fury. “You bastard!” 

Saber shrugged with a satisfied smile. “As far as I know, it doesn’t violate the rules. Isn’t that right, Rin?”

“He’s right. It’s perfectly within the boundaries of the rules.” Rin affirmed. 

Gilgamesh shook with fury, ready to activate his Gate of Babylon and kill Saber right now. Then, he felt a calming touch on his arm. 

“It’s alright, Caster. You have to follow the rules or else the game isn’t fun. This just means you’ll have to make your order a good one, right?” 

The feeling of Arturia’s hand on his arm managed to soothe his anger. He was surprised that with just one touch, she managed to calm him down. He sat back in his chair with his arms crossed, still irritated but without the homicidal feelings. 

“Alright, let’s move onto the next round.” Rin said. 

Everyone put their papers back in the box. Rin shook the box around to shuffle the papers. Then, everyone drew their numbers. Gilgamesh ended up drawing the king card this time. 

‘I know exactly what I am going to do…’ Gilgamesh thought with a smile. “Number one, sit on my lap for the rest of the game.” With his clairvoyance, he knew exactly what number Arturia had drawn. Therefore, he’d always be able to choose her. 

“What?! Doesn’t that violate rule number two?!” Arturia said. 

“I do not believe just sitting on my lap is a lewd request.” Gilgamesh said with a smile. 

Rin thought for a moment. “He’s right, sitting on a person's lap isn’t always lewd.”

“But—“ 

“Rule number three demands absolute obedience. Surely you are not going to violate the rules?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Arturia gritted her teeth. “Fine. But if you get an erection, I’m getting off.” 

“That’s fine. It would cross into a lewd request if that were the case.” Rin said. 

“I am okay with that.” Gilgamesh was confident he could control his body. He wasn’t a virgin, he wouldn’t get an erection with such a tiny amount of stimulation. 

Arturia got up from her seat and walked to Gilgamesh. She mustered up her courage and gently sat down. She adjusted her seating until she was fully seated on his lap. Then—she felt something _irritating_. She took a deep breath, in and out, then stood up. “We’re done here.” She said. 

Everyone was surprised. “Wait you mean—hold on! Did he seriously pop a boner that easily?!” Rin asked, surprised. The look of self-loathing on Gilgamesh’s face, as he stared at his lap, confirmed her answer. 

Saber started laughing hysterically. “He got….an erection… _so quick!_ ” His laughter echoed through the house, making Gilgamesh even more angry. 

Despite being angered by Saber, Gilgamesh’s hatred was all aimed at himself. ‘She barely moved….and I got an erection?! What am I, a virgin?!’ 

“God, how pent up are you?” Rin asked. 

“This is all because he’s a stubborn idiot that doesn’t masturbate. I even offered to let him go to a bar and get laid, but he refused. He said he only wants to have sex with me.” Arturia said. 

“While I suppose one can commend him on his loyalty, his refusal to let out his sexual frustration by himself displays a generous amount of stupidity.” Rin said. 

“Shut up! I am a king! I masturbated once as a pubescent virgin, but once I had my first time I never masturbated again! I have always had women at my disposal for my sexual pleasure! I do not intend to make a habit of masturbation at this point in my life!” Gilgamesh snapped. 

“Ah, I get it now. He doesn’t masturbate because he’s always had women, but now that he only wants one woman, a woman that doesn’t want him back, he no longer has women to use, but still doesn’t want to masturbate for the sake of pride. Eh, that’s really dumb.” Rin said. 

“Shut up!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“I mean, masturbation is totally normal. Isn’t that right, Arturia? You must’ve masturbated before too, right?” Rin asked. 

Arturia blushed. “Well yes, I believe masturbation is an entirely normal activity to engage in...but as for the second part of your question...no, I haven’t done it myself.” She confessed. 

Rin sighed. “So we have multiple repressed idiots at this table. What about you, Shirou?” 

Shirou’s voice cracked. “Can we please not talk about this?” 

“I’ll take that as a yes; and you, Saber?” Rin turned to Saber. 

“I was a king as well so it’s true that I more frequently had sex than masturbated, but of course I did so while sex was unavailable.” Saber said. 

“See, Caster? Masturbation is totally normal for a king.” Rin said. 

“I’m sure Arturia-sama would be of the same belief.” Saber chimed in. 

“Me? My opinion on it in regards to kingship? Well, I believe a king should work solely for the sake of his people. He should not seek pleasure or give into his lusts. Any frustration he has should be worked off through rigorous sword training. Masturbation and sex are human activities, but a king abandons his humanity once he gains the throne. Sex should be for the purpose of producing an heir, not for pleasure.” Arturia said. 

Her words shocked everyone at the table. 

“Ah, thank you. Hearing your silly ideals makes me feel much better.” Gilgamesh said with a serene smile. 

“Arturia, out of all the things I’ve heard today at this table, that is by far one of the dumbest.” Rin said. 

“Quiet, knave! If this is Arturia-sama’s decree, then it must be correct!” Saber yelled. This was what his idol, King Arthur said. It was he who must have been wrong in his beliefs. He was thankful he could hear Arturia’s opinions on these things first hand. 

“Jeez, where did all this zealous loyalty come from?” Rin said. 

“Saber, does this have something to do with why you use the honorific ‘-sama’ with Arturia?” Shirou asked. 

“I admire Arturia-sama. I have sworn myself to secrecy, so I cannot say any further than that.” Saber answered. 

Rin sighed. “Maybe we should just get on with the game. Let’s move onto the next round.”

The next round, Shirou became king. “Um, I’m not really sure what to order. Number three, skip your next turn as king.” Shirou said. 

“Okay.” Arturia nodded. 

“Sorry Arturia.” Shirou said. 

“It’s fine.” 

Rin became king the next round. “Number two, stop lusting after a seventeen year old highschool girl like a weirdo.” 

“That is a very specific order to be given to a random participant.” Gilgamesh pointed out, as the receiver of the order. 

Rin huffed. She may or may not have folded the corners of each paper in order to tell who had drawn what number while preparing them. “It’s an order that I’m sure could apply to a lot of people.” She crossed her arms in defense. 

“Rin, I’m afraid that order no longer applies to Caster.” Arturia said. 

“What do you mean?” Rin asked. 

“The order was to stop lusting over a seventeen year old, but it no longer applies because I am no longer seventeen. I’m eighteen.” Arturia explained. 

“You—you said you were seventeen when you summoned me!” Gilgamesh said, shocked. 

“I was.” 

“That was only a few days ago!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Yes.” Arturia said. 

“But when did you turn eighteen?!” Rin asked, slamming her hands on the table. 

“Two days ago.” Arturia finally revealed. 

A heavy cloud was cast upon the table. “You mean...you’ve been my best friend for years...and yet I didn’t even know your birthday?!” Rin said with a face of horror. 

“Arturia has always given me gifts on my birthday, but now that I think of it, I’ve never given her even one!” Shirou said, looking down at his lap. 

“My wife’s day of birth passed and yet I was not even able to celebrate with her…?!” Gilgamesh said in despair. 

Saber, either not sensing the heavy cloud upon the table or ignoring it, decided to just wish his idol a happy birthday. “Happy birthday, Arturia-sama!” 

Everyone else, however, was in despair. 

“Guys, it isn’t a big deal. I don’t really celebrate my birthday anyway. My brother called me and we chatted for a while, that was enough celebration for me.” Arturia said. 

‘Arturia doesn’t even celebrate birthdays? Can such a pure, unselfish soul really exist?’ Rin wondered. 

“Let’s just keep going with the game, okay?” Arturia said. 

They drew their papers. “Looks like I got king again!” Saber announced. “Number one, drink an entire cup of wine in under twenty seconds” 

“Eh? Twenty seconds?” Shirou looked hesitant. 

“Absolute obedience, Shirou.” Rin reminded. She refilled Shirou’s cup. “We start counting once it touches your lips. If you don’t finish in under twenty seconds you have to start over from a new glass.” 

Shirou took a deep breath, then began to chug his cup of wine. Rin counted to twenty. Shirou finished draining his cup, and coughed a few times into his elbow. 

“You barely made it.” Rin announced. “This was probably for the best. You haven’t been drinking much ever since we started, which is a violation of rule one.” 

They moved on. Arturia drew king, but she had to follow her previous order and skip her turn. Then, Rin drew king. 

Rin had a wicked smile on her face. “Number four, describe what kind of underwear you’re wearing.” 

“Rin, that counts as a lewd request!” Arturia said. 

“Oh? I’m not having you show anything. Is that really lewd? I’m only asking that you describe it. Surely something so simple wouldn’t faze you, Arturia. It would be strange if someone so apt at battle had the heart of a maiden.” Rin said. 

Arturia looked down at the table, eyebrows tightly knitted together. 

‘This girl has considerable persuasive power. She appealed to Arturia’s pride and competitive nature all at once. While perhaps not as good as me, she has exceptional people skills.’ Gilgamesh thought. ‘Damn, she probably could seduce Arturia. I am positive the reason Arturia rejected me is because, first of all, I was a stranger and, second of all, she didn’t like my attitude or personality. But if a girl that Arturia really likes and trusts, her best friend, attacks at full force, Arturia probably would not resist. No matter what, I cannot let that happen.’ 

Arturia relaxed her muscles. “Alright, but I’d have to go check what I’m wearing in another room. I don’t remember what I put on today…” 

“You are wearing panties with blue and white horizontal stripes, remember?” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia looked at him with confusion and surprise. “How did you—?!” 

“You just showed them to me this morning.” 

There was a terrible silence. 

Rin slowly looked at her friend. “Arturia…?” 

Arturia jolted up from her seat. “No! It isn’t what you’re thinking!” Her face was red all over. 

“Were you teasing him in some way? Like, showing him what he can’t have?” Rin asked. 

“No, I’m not that cruel a person!” Arturia said. 

“Was…was he blackmailing you, Arturia?” Shirou asked. 

“No, he’s actually quite nice to me…” 

“You’re all fools.” Saber said. “You clearly don’t know Arturia-sama well enough.” 

“Didn’t you just meet her a few days ago?” Rin asked, mildly annoyed. 

“Yes, but it’s obvious you don’t understand Arturia-sama as a warrior.” 

“Okay, wise guy, explain it to us.” Rin crossed her arms. 

“It was obviously a battle strategy.” Saber said proudly. 

Silence. 

“...what?” Rin said. 

“Arturia-sama was obviously using her feminine charm as an attack of some sort to win against Caster. I mean, we’ve seen first hand how easily she can control him and how ridiculously horny he is for her. Imagine what Arturia-sama could make Caster do just by offering him sex. You’d probably let Arturia-sama castrate you if it meant you’d be able to have sex with her, right Caster?” 

“No comment.” Gilgamesh replied, not enjoying the conversation. 

“It’s obvious that Arturia-sama got something out of Caster by showing him her panties.” Saber concluded. 

Rin began to speak. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing—“ 

“It’s true.” Arturia whispered, just loud enough to hear. 

“Excuse me?!” Rin shouted, taken aback. 

“I wanted Caster to answer some questions I had about his backstory. However, he refused. I got angry and didn’t want to back down so...I showed him my panties to get him to change his mind. It worked. I received additional information by turning around and...bending over…” Arturia confessed. 

“You went that far?!” Rin exclaimed. 

“Yes.” Arturia hung her head in shame. “In hindsight, that is a shameful action for a warrior.” She looked to the man who considered her to be his idol. “Saber, I apologize. I’m sure I make for a terrible role-model. You must be disappointed.” 

“Not at all! I don’t think such an action is shameful in the slightest. It’s not as if you tricked Caster in some way. It was a full frontal assault, not of the sword but of the sex. You have feminine charm and you use it to your advantage. I admire that.” Saber said. 

Arturia was taken aback by his words. “Thank you.” 

“I still think it’s weird that an eighteen year old girl is the role-model of a fully grown king from the past.” Rin said. 

“Regardless of your criticisms, I believe she is a wonderful role-model.” Saber has admired King Arthur since he was a child. He was happy he could meet his idol in real life. 

“Maybe we should just get on with the game.” Rin sighed. 

Saber became king once again. “Hmmm, oh what to do…” Saber pondered. “Number four, spank Caster.” 

Gilgamesh shot to his feet. “You bastard! As if I would ever allow—wait did you say number four?” 

“Damnit!” Arturia shouted into the air. 

“Ah, hell. She was the only person I didn’t want to receive this order.” Saber said disappointedly. 

“Do I have to?” Arturia asked. 

“Absolute obedience.” Rin said. 

“Caster has been strangely silent on the matter.” Saber pointed out. “Are you going to follow the dare?” He asked Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh was trying to weigh his options. He was trying to figure out whether this could be a potentially erotic moment for him. “Fine.” He said. 

“Can we at least do it in another room?” Arturia asked. 

“That’s acceptable. Nothing in the dare specified a location.” Rin said. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh walked to the next room over and shut the door. 

Rin, Saber, and Shirou waited, trying to listen to what was going on in the next room. There was silence for a few minutes. Then, “This is for all the annoying shit you say!” An enormous slapping sound followed by a loud thud against the wall. They waited in shock for the pair to come out. 

The door opened, and Arturia walked out of the room with a large smile on her face. “We finished. I feel very refreshed.” 

Gilgamesh, however, was holding his ass in pain. He had a large bruise on his forehead, as if he’d just slammed into something hard (a wall, for instance). ‘That was just painful...and only slightly erotic.’ He thought in dismay as he returned to his seat. 

Everyone continued the game, giving ridiculous dares until everyone had become sufficiently drunk. The only person that didn’t seem wasted off their ass was Gilgamesh. 

Rin became king. “Number two, explain why you’re wearing your school uniform on a fucking Sunday.” 

“Another uncannily specific dare to a supposedly random person.” Gilgamesh said, fully aware that Rin was cheating. Though, this was something Gilgamesh had been wondering about Arturia ever since they arrived at Rin’s house. 

“Me? Well, I wanted to wear something decent, so I put on my school uniform.” Arturia said. 

“Wait, you mean you don’t have any decent clothes besides your school uniform?” Rin asked, in shock. 

“Well, I used to have a lot but they don’t really fit anymore.” Arturia said. 

“Arturia, are you referring to clothes you had _before your parents died seven years ago?_ ” Gilgamesh asked. 

Well, yes. My fathers used to buy me lots of nice clothes, but after they died I never really took the time to go shopping for new things.” Arturia confessed. 

“You have money, right?” Rin asked. 

“She has money. Apparently she has a job. She just does not buy things for herself. Do you want to know what she wears as pajamas? Her dead father’s old shirts.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin stood up and slammed her hands on the table. “No! No way! I refuse to let your beauty go to waste on a school uniform and old shirts!” She stomped to Arturia, grabbed her wrist, and dragged her away to a room upstairs. 

“Where are they going?” Shirou wondered aloud. 

“I think they’ll be back soon. We should just wait for them.” Saber said. 

Rin shoved clothing into Arturia’s hands. “Put these on.” 

“Um, okay...is there a room I can change in?” Arturia asked. 

“We’re both women. Just go ahead and change here.” Rin said. 

Arturia nodded and began to take off her clothes. Rin acted like she wasn’t watching and was doing something else, but in reality she was sneaking peeks of Arturia changing. 

“I finished.” Arturia said. 

“Great. Let’s go show the guys.” Rin smiled. She dragged Arturia down the stairs and back to the dining room with a smile on her face. “I present to you, Arturia’s new outfit!” 

Arturia wore a white blouse with a blue bow around her neck and a deep blue skirt. She had black leggings covering her legs. She felt shy being presented by Rin, even though the clothes were modest. 

“You look good, Arturia.” Shirou said, and Arturia blushed. 

“Blue really suits you.” Saber added. Arturia gave him a small, embarrassed smile in return for the kind words. 

“I think you look beautiful. Of course my wife would look splendid in anything. I just want to rip those tights open and take you against the table.” Gilgamesh said with a wide, almost innocent smile. 

Everyone stared at Gilgamesh in shock at the vulgar words that had just come out of his mouth. Arturia’s demure shyness suddenly all turned into annoyance. “Keep your mouth shut when you get drunk, Caster.” 

“Drunk? I am certainly not drunk yet. I am still practically sober. Just this small amount of alcohol could not make me drunk.” 

“Whatever. Just don’t say weird, sexual shit in front of my friends, Caster!” Arturia said. 

“You know, I really wish you would stop calling me that. I want you to call me by my real name, Gilgamesh, like a wife would. I would even allow you to use the nickname ‘Gil,’ which only Enkidu used to call me.” 

Once again, shocked silence. 

Gilgamesh slowly realized the grave mistake he’d just made. “You know what, perhaps I am a bit drunk…” 

Arturia stomped her way to Gilgamesh. She grabbed him by the shoulders and started shaking him back and forth in fury. “Are you trying to make me lose the Holy Grail War, you idiot?!” 

“Honestly, to think a guy like that is the King of Heroes.” Rin said. 

“He gives heroes a bad reputation.” Shirou sighed. 

“I wonder how powerful he is.” Saber said. 

“Damnit. Arturia managed to summon the King of Heroes while my servant can’t even remember his own name.” Rin lamented. 

Arturia was practically on his lap drunkenly pulling his hair and scratching him. 

“Arturia stop!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Bastard! You’re supposed to help me win the grail war, not sabotage me!” Arturia yelled. 

“Hold on! You really need to stop shifting around on my lap or else—“ 

Everything stopped as Arturia felt something hard pressing against her leg. She calmly removed herself from her servants lap. “I think I’m ready to go to sleep for the night.” She said with a blank face and a weary look in her eyes. 

“Again?” Rin asked. 

Arturia nodded her head. 

Rin turned to Gilgamesh. “Did Arturia beating you up really turn you on that much?” 

“Do not ask such ridiculous things to a king, mongrelette.” Gilgamesh was just deflecting the question. It totally did turn him on. 

“Well, on that note, we should probably end the night.” Rin said. “It’s not a good idea to send you all home drunk, so I guess you can just sleep in a guest room for the night. Come on Arturia, I’ll give you some pajamas.” Rin took Arturia’s hand. “Archer, show the guys to the guest rooms. Everyone should shower before bed. Me and Arturia will shower in my room.” 

Archer materialized. “Honestly, What kind of servant do you think I am?”

“Hold on! You and Arturia will be showering together?!” Gilgamesh stood up. 

“Of course.” Rin said. 

“No way! I refuse!” 

“We’re women, there’s nothing wrong with it.” 

Gilgamesh grit his teeth. “Fine, but I am at least going to watch!” 

Arturia turned her head to Gilgamesh. “I despise you.” This made Gilgamesh feel a shiver of coldness through his spine. 

What Gilgamesh had meant to say was that he wanted to supervise. He wanted to supervise and make sure Arturia was safe. More specifically, he wanted to keep her virginity safe. He really wanted to be her first orgasm. However, he didn’t mention his true intentions, and left it at the desire to supervise.

The deal they struck was that Archer and Gilgamesh would wait on Rin’s bed, turned away from the bathroom, while Rin and Arturia showered with the door open. This way, Gilgamesh could hear everything that went on in the bathroom, but Arturia and Rin still had privacy. Archer was there because he didn’t want to leave Arturia and Rin alone with Gilgamesh. 

“Don’t be shy, Arturia, let me wash your body.” Rin said. 

“Alright. Sorry, this is awkward for me, I haven’t showered with anyone in a long time.” 

“It’s fine. Come here, let me wash your breasts—I mean your back.” 

Gilgamesh listened intently, determined to protect his wife’s chastity. 

“If you look like you’re deriving too much pleasure in this, I won’t hesitate to attack.” Archer said. 

“Shut up. As if I would derive pleasure in my wife getting groped. Anyway, even I can tell that the mongrelette is bragging.” Gilgamesh said. Rin was generally being very loud while talking to Arturia, as if she wanted someone outside the room to hear. 

“You have such nice, soft skin Arturia.” Rin said while stroking Arturia’s torso. She rubbed a loofa over Arturia’s body, leaving a trail of foamy bubbles behind. 

“Wh-where do you think you’re touching?! That’s my chest…” Arturia said. 

“I think this area is very cute~” Rin ran her hand over Arturia’s breast. With wine in her system, she was feeling much more bold than before. 

“Stop joking. They’re too small.” 

“Not at all! They’re nice and perky. Anyway, they’re only two sizes smaller than mine. This is Japan, it’s normal to have small breasts.” 

“They’re a Japanese A cup. That’s like training bra size in other countries.” 

“Well, you make up for them quite nicely with this area here.” 

A slapping sound was heard from the bathroom, making Gilgamesh turn his head, which Archer promptly turned back. “Do not touch me, mongrel.” Gilgamesh brushed his hand away. 

“D-Don’t spank me!” Arturia said, flushed. 

“Boys do it in the locker room all the time.” Rin happily hummed. “Your neck is long and beautiful and you have such gorgeous slim shoulders so you look great with your hair up, but I think you look really cute with your hair down like right now.” 

‘Arturia does look really nice with her hair down.’ Gilgamesh thought as he listened. 

“You look cute with your hair down too, Rin.” Arturia said. 

Rin let out an embarrassed, nervous laugh. “O-Oh? Thanks. Anyway, your skin is so clear. We should compare beauty products. I want to know what moisturizer you use.” 

“I think your skin is beautiful too. You’re the prettiest girl in our school.” Arturia smiled. 

“Idiot. You should see how much people stare at you. Everyone goes quiet when you walk into a room. Even the teachers are intimidated by you. It’s not just your beauty, it’s the air you have around you.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You have an air that’s almost regal. You feel like royalty.” 

“Is that so…” 

“You’re decisive and blunt. You always know what you want, without hesitation. You’re a leader through and through. A lot of guys already ask you out, but you wouldn’t believe how many guys want to ask you out but don’t. You’re untouchable, like mist. I’m the idol of the school, but you’re the queen.” 

“You flatter me too much, Rin.” 

“And you’re so strange with socializing. You’re kind and helpful; you don’t go out of your way to socialize, but you don’t refuse anyone that wants to talk to you while at school. But you never socialize outside of school. You don’t accept invitations to go to karaoke with a group of friends or go to mixers. I had to work hard to figure out how to snare you into a friendship. I happen to like a good challenge, you know. Do you want to know how I started getting you to open up?” 

“How?” 

“Food. I learned you love to eat. I figured out that you’ll go places with me if I lure you with food. Furthermore, I learned that you don’t like going out with large groups, and prefer hanging out one-on-one with someone. I’m surprised you enjoyed playing a drinking game with us, though the wine probably helped.” 

“It isn’t really that, I just don’t like going out with people I’m not close to. I’m close to you and Shirou, so It’s easy to be around you. I’ve had time to trust Caster, and Saber doesn’t bother me, even though he loves teasing Caster. And is food really the only way I’ll go out with a person?!” 

“Yes.” 

Arturia sighed. “I really am a glutton.” 

‘An adorable glutton.’ Gilgamesh thought. 

“If you weren’t a glutton, we wouldn’t be best friends. I’m pretty grateful for that gluttonous side of you. Well, we’re finished washing, should we soak in the tub?” Rin asked. 

“We shouldn’t keep the guys waiting longer than we need to. We have to say goodnight still.” 

“Alright, alright….but after one more grope!” Rin dove after Arturia’s body. 

“Rin!” Arturia couldn’t help but laugh as Rin tickled her all over. 

‘They’re finally finished. Thank the gods Arturia’s chastity is safe. That first orgasm will be mine for sure.’ Gilgamesh reassured himself. 

Rin came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. “Both of you get out. We have to change into pajamas.” 

“Where’s Arturia?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“As if I’d let you see her in a bath towel. You’ve already gotten two erections in my house, we don’t need you getting a third.” Rin crossed her arms. 

Gilgamesh felt a homicidal rage welling up at his erections being brought up again. 

“Please go, Caster. I’d rather not be seen practically naked by men.” Arturia said from behind the door. 

Gilgamesh swallowed his rage and left the room, Archer following close behind him. 

“They’re gone.” Rin said, walking to her dresser and rummaging through her pajama drawer. 

“Thank you, Rin.” Arturia said. “You don’t have to be so mean to him. He’s good at heart. He’s a good king, at least. I trust him as my servant.” Who ‘he’ was did not need to be specified. 

“Are you joking, Arturia? He’s weird as hell! Did you even hear what he said to you when I brought you out in those new clothes?” 

“He’s drunk. He usually isn’t that graphic.” 

Rin gave Arturia some pajamas, which Arturia promptly began to change into. “Aren’t you also forgetting that he got two erections from you?” 

“From me sitting on his lap. To be fair, I think he was the most surprised person in the room when he got an erection the first time. He had a look of horror, guilt, and self-hatred on his face that I can only describe as a man who’d just unwittingly slaughtered his entire family.” 

“You make a fair point with that. He didn’t exactly look pleased when his staff came to full attention. Even so, isn’t him lusting after you all the time a bit of a heavy burden? He’d always be staring at you and flirting with you and trying to get in your pants.” 

“It certainly is annoying, but I wouldn’t stay heavy. His remarks are usually said casually, and he doesn’t try to make any moves on me. Not anymore, at least; not after I told him no on the first night.” Not knowing what to do in the situation, Arturia had taken a knife and held it to his neck, before even denying consent. She’d been more afraid of the strange pounding in her heart and the heat in her abdomen than her servant. With logical thinking gone she tried to solve the problem in a different way—through violence. It worked out pretty well. The strange thing was, that Gilgamesh only seemed to get more exhilarated when she threatened him. 

“So he did try to put the moves on you?!” 

“Yes, on the first evening we were together. I told him no and he listened. Then he started asking dumb questions about what he was supposed to do without women to have sex with. I gave him the obvious answer and went to my room while he started having a meltdown about how he doesn’t masturbate.” 

“That sounds like a rough evening.” 

“It was.” 

“But, Arturia, you’ve read his epic right? The Epic of Gilgamesh? Don’t you remember what he did to his citizens, _especially_ the women?” 

“That’s the beginning of the book. Judging him by that is ignoring any and all of his character development through the rest of the story.” Arturia said. ‘Plus, Caster’s story diverges after the immortality quest.’ 

“Jeez, you’re so defensive. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with this guy.” 

“I haven’t. I have no desire to pursue a romantic relationship with him.” 

“Then why are you so nice and trusting towards such a weird guy?” 

Arturia blushed and turned her head away. She then mumbled a few words under her breath.

“Say it clearly Arturia.” 

“I...to...with him…” Arturia mumbled, slightly louder. 

“I’m going to need you to be a little louder.” 

“I want to be friends with him, okay!” Arturia’s face was red with embarrassment. 

Rin made an expression similar to the Windows loading screen when an old computer freezes. “Friend?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why? I can’t find a single reason or benefit to being friends with him. He literally offers nothing. He’s arrogant, hot-headed, possessive, clingy, hostile, and altogether unpleasant.” 

“Yes, he is all of those things, but I have my own reasons for wanting him as my friend.” Gilgamesh was a fellow king. He was able to empathize with her past in a way no one else she ever knew could. He didn’t berate Arturia for her mistakes as a king and as a person, merely rendered his judgement as a third-party and let her figure out the rest. And regardless of what Arturia said about her past, he never pitied her. Not to mention she was able to relate to his love for his people. Those unique things about him made Arturia want to befriend him. 

Rin let out a long sigh. “I guess it’s fine. Just don’t give in to temptation and have sex with him. For all his faults, you gotta admit he is ridiculously hot.” 

“You don’t need to worry. My pride as a knight wouldn’t allow me to give in to my lusts.” 

“A...knight?” 

“I mean—I…I’ve just always been fascinated by western knights and swordplay…I used to read lots of books about it as a child. I practice the ideals of chivalry as a warrior, that’s all I meant.” None of this was a lie. As Arturia was regaining her memories, she’d become increasingly interested in western, specifically English, history. 

“I see.” Rin said, still slightly confused. 

“Anyway, a much more pressing matter are these pajamas. Why do they show off so much skin? These shorts barely cover my butt, and this tank top is so thin!” Arturia said, looking at the white cloth on her body. 

“You look adorable in them! Plus, they’re super soft.” 

“But Rin...your nightgown goes all the way to your ankles.” 

“Well, this is all I have. My other nightgowns are in the washing machine. I guess you’ll just have to make do with these cute ones.” 

Arturia felt a bit suspicious about Rin’s words, but let it slide. Rin was her best friend, Arturia would have noticed by now if Rin was attracted to her. “Alright. Let’s go say goodnight to the guys.” Arturia said. 

The two girls walked to the wing of the house with the guest rooms. 

“Husband or not, I am still her servant! I cannot just leave her all alone in enemy territory!” Gilgamesh seemed to be arguing with Archer. Both servants turned when they noticed the girls approaching. Gilgamesh’s jaw dropped when he saw what Arturia was wearing. 

Suddenly, Arturia’s feet were lifted from the ground. 

“So cute!” Gilgamesh yelled, lifting Arturia in the air. 

“What the hell—put me down, Caster!” 

Gilgamesh tossed her into the air and caught her multiple times, making Arturia yell in surprise. “So cute, so cute!! I just want to grope you everywhere!” 

“Using a verb like ‘grope’ adds an extremely strange connotation to that sentence!” Arturia yelled as Gilgamesh tossed her in delight. 

Gilgamesh brought Arturia to his body and gave her a bone-crushing hug. “Adorable, my adorable wife! Such thin arms, such long legs, such slim shoulders!” Gilgamesh cooed as he stroked those parts of her body. “I just want to cuddle you all night!” 

Saber and Shirou came out of their room to see what all the commotion was about, only to find Gilgamesh tossing Arturia about like a child. 

“Put me down!” Arturia grabbed Gilgamesh’s forearm and bit it as hard as she could without drawing blood, making Gilgamesh yell and accidentally drop her. Arturia sprung up from the floor and punched her servant in the arm. “What the hell! I told you to stop doing weird sexual shit!” 

“It was not sexual at all! I did not touch anything that actually matters! It was purely platonic!” Gilgamesh defended, rubbing his punched arm. 

“Platonic my ass! In what world is there such a thing as platonic groping?” 

“Wasn’t your ‘best friend’ groping your breasts in the shower earlier?” 

“That’s…that’s irrelevant!” Arturia said with her face flushed. 

“I didn’t even go that far! I only touched your legs, arms, and shoulders. Nothing sexual at all.” Gilgamesh crossed his arms. 

Arturia fumed, trying to find a way to win this argument. 

“By Caster’s logic, shouldn’t it be okay for other platonic acquaintances such as Shirou and I to grope Arturia-sama as well so long as it’s in a non-sexual area?” Saber asked. 

“Absolutely not!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Actually, yes. It’s absolutely fine.” Arturia said. She thanked god that Saber had come to her rescue. “Saber, come here.” 

Saber smiled and came to his idol’s side. 

“Arturia!” Gilgamesh protested. “You should not allow men who are not your husband to touch you!” Arturia should belong to him and no one else, the thought of other people touching her made him furious. 

“Why? It’s only platonic touching. After all, you said it was fine for you to touch me, even though you’re _not my husband_.” Arturia turned to Saber. “Saber, go ahead and grope me wherever you please. It’s fine as long as it isn’t anywhere ‘that actually matters.’” 

Saber complied and stroked Arturia’s arm. “Your skin is very soft Arturia-sama.” 

“Thank you for the compliment.” Arturia said and Gilgamesh clenched his fists. 

Saber only had time to barely touch Arturia’s leg before he was sent flying with a hard punch to the face by Gilgamesh. 

“See?! This proves it! It is sexual to you, or else you’d be fine with other people touching me!” Arturia yelled at Gilgamesh. She turned to Saber, who was lying two meters away. “Thank you for sacrificing yourself for my cause, Saber.” 

Saber sat up. “Anything for you, Arturia-sama.” He spit out a front tooth. “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back soon.” He smiled with an incomplete set of teeth and a large bruise on his face. 

“It is not sexual. I just wanted to caress your beautiful body because I thought you looked super cute.” Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “I would have known if it was sexual. Plus, there is no reason for me to lie about it.” 

“Why are you so stubborn about this? Wanting to caress someone’s body is obviously sexual!” Arturia said. 

“I can’t tell if you two are ignorant or just plain stupid.” Rin said. 

“What the hell did you just say about my wife and me?” Gilgamesh asked with a glare. 

Rin felt intimidated for about five seconds before Arturia elbowed Gilgamesh in the arm for glaring at her friend. Rin sighed. “There are other forms of affection besides sexual and platonic.” 

“You mean like...the seven Greek forms of love?” Arturia asked. 

“What? Well, I guess you got the concept right…you really don’t know, even when I point it out?” Rin asked. She was met with a look of confusion from Arturia. “I hope you’re just drunk and not actually this oblivious.” Rin shook her head. “Caster was hugging you and tossing you around and saying that you’re cute. What kind of affection does that sound like?” 

Arturia blinked at thought for a moment. “Familial? Like how you’d hug and play with a baby?” 

“Ew! I definitely do not see you as family or as a baby!” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia threw her hands up. “Then I don’t get it! It’s obviously sexual!” 

‘So there are some things that even King Arthur doesn’t know.’ Saber thought. 

“It was romantic.” Rin stated. “Even though it annoys me to say it, he wanted to cuddle you because he loves you, not just because he wants to have sex with you.” 

Arturia and Gilgamesh both froze in realization. Arturia became embarrassed while Gilgamesh adopted a smug look on his face. 

“I told you it wasn’t sexual! It was my love for you! Pure, romantic love!” Gilgamesh laughed. 

Arturia slapped her palm to her face. ‘How annoying.’ She thought. 

“Well, it is not as if I have no sexual feelings for you at the moment. We’re you to accept me, I would gladly fill you and drive you into the wall until you scream my name in pleasure. However, (apparently) I too have the capacity for romance! I would also love to cuddle you and call you beautiful! Yes! As it turns out, I am not only being sexually starved by you, but romantically starved as well! To remedy this, I suggest we cuddle on the couch and kiss each other like in shoujo manga!” Gilgamesh yelled, pointing at Arturia, who was glaring back at him. 

“I’m a bit surprised though. You’re supposed to have lots of experience with women, right? I’m surprised that you’re so dense.” Rin said. 

“Of course I’m sexually experienced with women. Even so, this is the first time I’ve held romantic feelings for a woman. This is all still slightly shocking to me. Most of the information I’ve gained about romance has been from the shoujo manga in Arturia’s house, which has mainly been limited to hand holding and kissing. Still, I feel I should at least confiscate one of your limbs for insulting me. However, for bringing me to a joyous conclusion, I shall spare you.” Gilgamesh said with a large smile on his face. He turned back to Arturia. “Arturia, we should cuddle immediately! My heart demands love!” 

“That’s it! I’m now not only banning sexual actions, but romantic ones too! You thus forth are not allowed to express romantic attraction in any way in my presence!” Arturia yelled. 

Gilgamesh gasped. “No way! I am already not allowed to have sex with you, now you are trying to limit my love too?!” 

“Absolutely.” Arturia looked down at the markings on her hand. “I should just use a command seal to make you fall out of love for me. That would make things much less troublesome.” 

“Absolutely not!” Gilgamesh yelled, angry at her even thinking of doing such a thing. 

“I think we’re all just a bit frustrated and tired today. Let’s not end the night in a fight. I’ll show you to your room, Arturia.” Rin said, taking Arturia by the hand and walking her to one of the guest rooms. 

Gilgamesh watched Arturia’s back as she walked away. “Even if you were to use a command seal on such a stupid thing, I would just fall in love with you all over again. Again and again, forever.” He said with crossed arms.

Rin closed the door to the guest room while Arturia walked to the bed and sat down. At first, the girls were silent. “You really summoned a troublesome servant.” Rin said. 

“I like him, and I want to be his friend, the problem is his feelings. His feelings for me are so strong, even though we just met a few days ago. We could be friends if he just stopped being in love with me.” Arturia said. 

“Perhaps, but using a command seal...I just don’t think I could approve of that.” Rin said. 

“I know. I don’t approve of tampering with others’s feelings either. I don’t know why I said it.” 

“Well, there’s that too, but I meant that command seals are useful and it seems like a waste of magic. But yeah, morals and stuff are also applicable, I guess.” 

“Rin, what's the difference between platonic and romantic love?” 

Rin was taken aback by the question. She thought for a moment. “Well, to be honest, they aren’t very different. That’s probably why Caster confused the two of them earlier. The obvious answer would be sexual desire, but I think there’s more to it than that…” 

“Like what?” 

Rin became flustered. “Like I know, idiot. I’ve never been in love. But, from what I understand, it’s the awkwardness.” 

“Awkwardness?” 

“Well, like the tension of the desire you feel for that person. It makes you feel complicated emotions that you don’t fully understand. That person makes your heart pound. Romantic relationships start out very embarrassing and awkward, while with friendships you become comfortable as soon as you open up.” 

“Wow, you’re really knowledgeable about this. Do you read a lot of shoujo manga?” 

“Eh?! Of course not! I read some when I was a kid, but I wouldn’t say a lot…” Rin said. She cleared her throat. “Honestly, I don’t understand how that guy can be so confident in his feelings. If I suddenly fell in love with someone, I’d be embarrassed as hell. It even made me question whether or not that guy really had feelings for you and wasn’t just after your pussy. But, his feelings do seem a bit deeper than just lust. Best case scenario: he’s in love with you. Worst case scenario: he’s an obsessed stalker.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry about it too much tonight. Just go to sleep.” 

“Rin, I think the wine is making me feel complicated. Could you stay with me tonight?” Arturia asked. 

‘C-cute!’ Rin thought. ‘I want to touch her so bad!’ “Of course, Arturia. I wouldn’t let my guest sleep all alone.” 

Meanwhile, Archer and Gilgamesh resided in the room next door. Gilgamesh had wanted to sleep next to Arturia, but Archer refused. Gilgamesh said that it was imperative he stay near Arturia to keep her safe. After all, she was his master and he was her servant. The best compromise the two came up with was that Gilgamesh would sleep next door to Arturia, and Archer would stay in his room to supervise. 

Gilgamesh pressed his ear to the wall and tried to listen to the conversation in the room next to his. He grimaced at the thought of Rin sleeping in the same room as Arturia.

“Here, Arturia! I noticed that your hands are really rough, so I brought you some hand cream.” Rin said. 

“Thanks. I train a lot, so my hands are very calloused.” Arturia said. 

“It also doubles as a body lotion, so we can just rub it everywhere!” 

Arturia yelped. “Rin, rubbing it in such a place…!” 

“Relax. It’s just your thighs. I’ll help you put it everywhere.” 

Gilgamesh was about to bust the wall open and confiscate that lotion. However, he also had begun to feel envy toward Rin. ‘I wish I could rub lotion all over Arturia’s body.’ He thought. He closed his eyes and began imagining what it would be like to give Arturia a sensual full-body massage, and caress her entire body. 

“Hey.” Archer said. 

Gilgamesh didn’t answer. 

“Hey!” 

“What?” Gilgamesh said curtly. 

“Wipe that perverted look off your face before I do it for you.” 

“Shut up. I have fantasies to think about.” Gilgamesh said. 

Archer became irritated. “What’s it like knowing that the girl you love will never love you back?” 

Now Gilgamesh was paying attention. “Shut up, you impudent mongrel.” 

“It must hurt, being in an unrequited love, I mean. You’re rather lucky that you’re her servant, or else she would have gotten rid of you by now.” 

Gilgamesh was glaring daggers at Archer, who was glaring back. Gilgamesh’s Gate of Babylon opened up behind him. “Mongrel, do you want your tongue ripped out?” 

“I’m just saying, she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with you. It’ll probably be a relief to her when you disappear after the war is over.” 

Gilgamesh shot blasts of energy from his wands at Archer. Archer projected a sword and slashed them away. “Wha—projection magic?! You fucking faker! You’re not even using a real sword!” 

“Yep.” Archer said, uninterested. 

“Mongrel, I swear I’ll—“

A loud boom from through the wall. “SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE’RE TRYING TO SLEEP.” Rin yelled. 

Gilgamesh bit his lower lip. “Is that mongrel going to grow up to be a miserable counter guardian like you?” 

Archer narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Oh nothing—if you truly don’t remember, that is.” Gilgamesh walked to the bed. “I’m going to sleep. Keep your mouth shut.” He said while climbing into the bed. 

“You sleep? Why don’t you just dematerialize? You’re wasting Arturia’s mana.” 

“I have my reasons. Now shut up and let me sleep.” Gilgamesh closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoof finally finished! This is the longest chapter I've ever written, at a whopping 14,678 words! Also hell yea Arturia's legal! Now I can make her and Gil bone guilt free! Woohoo! Anyway, I really like this chapter. I laughed a lot while writing it. I hope you guys are doing well. Stay safe from the virus, y'all! I'll keep writing fanfiction so hopefully you'll be entertained! Though, it may take a while if the next chapter is as long as this one...yikes. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Gilgamesh always saw her in his dreams. More specifically, he saw her memories. The memories of a noble king charging ahead on the battlefield, slashing down any enemies in her wake. She rode ahead, even when the odds were against her. She always managed to bring her people to victory. Twelve battles in ten years, with not a single battle lost. The undefeated king won each time. Her small, frail body never held her back from victory. 

Outside of battle, she ruled justly. She met the needs of her people, executed criminals, fed the hungry, sheltered the poor, and saved those in need. When her people were happy and prosperous, she smiled. She smiled at their happiness, but never her own. This king knew nothing of joy. She knew naught of the pleasures of sex, food, or love. She knew only the felicity of having satisfied citizens, those she’d sworn her heart and sword to protect. She knew only the joy of the people, nothing of the joy of an individual. 

There was nothing she loved more than her people, and yet, there were some who believed she harbored no emotion. “King Arthur does not understand human feelings,” that was what was said about her. That was wrong, terribly wrong. She felt more than one could ever believe. She felt the pain of her kingdom, of every unhappy or despairing citizen. The joy of the people was her own. And of course, she felt the weariness of each and every one of her soldiers. Arturia was human; wonderfully, gloriously human. Perhaps the most human human in history. What could be more human, after all, than aspiring to surpass humanity? 

She was ideal. 

She was bright. 

She was blinding. 

She was beautiful. 

What should one feel when faced with such a perfect human being? A lesser man would feel fear, or perhaps disgust. Gilgamesh was not a lesser man. He believed that only one of his standing, neither human nor inhuman, or perhaps better said as both human and inhuman, could appreciate her beauty for what it was. 

Did he admire her? Did he strive to meet her ideals? No. Not at all. In fact, he felt her ideals to be quite ridiculous. A perfect rule was completely unsustainable for a kingdom. There must be expansions and recessions in a country. Rather, he found her blatant stupidity endearing. 

Every morning when he woke from her memories, he’d fall in love with her all over again. That first night, he slept on a whim. Now, it was a pastime. Seeing her life was addicting to him. He’d seen so much, and yet there was still more for him to learn. 

However much he loved seeing her past, he was never disappointed when he woke, because he was able to see her in the present. He had the rare opportunity to interact with such a perfect specimen of a woman. He truly felt he was lucky. 

—-

Gilgamesh woke to the ringing sound of Rin’s alarm clock in the next room. Archer began materializing as Gilgamesh sat up in his bed. “Did you just watch me sleep all night?” Archer didn’t answer. “Creep.” 

“I wasn’t watching you sleep, I was guarding against an enemy.” Archer said. 

“I am not going to kill your master in her sleep. We have an alliance.” 

“I know. I’m more worried about what you might try to do with Arturia when everyone’s distracted.” 

“If I was going to violate her, I would have done it by now. I have been living with her for the past few days.” 

“You’ve held back so far, but who knows when you’ll snap?” 

“I am not going to snap. I can control my lusts.” 

“Didn’t you get two erections yesterday? Or am I mistaken?” Archer raised a brow. 

Gilgamesh groaned in frustration at it being brought back up. “Is that weak little mongrel really going to grow up to be as rude and impudent as you?” 

Archer scrutinized Gilgamesh. “What are you implying you know?” 

“Your True Name. Duh.” Gilgamesh stood up out of bed. “Oh stop giving me that look, it is not like I care enough to tell anyone.” 

“Clairvoyance?” 

“Yep.” 

“Why didn’t Arturia tell us?” 

“I haven’t exactly told her yet. If I did tell her, Arturia would likely want to use it to her advantage, which would be smart but terribly boring. A war is no fun if you already know the outcome from the beginning. So keep it quiet for me, yeah? I’ll do the same about your True Name.” The implicit threat was that Gilgamesh would reveal Archer’s identity if he mentioned the clairvoyance. He stretched his arms up and yawned, then exited the room. He found Saber and Shirou waiting outside their bedrooms.

“Do you think Arturia-sama is okay? We haven’t heard a peep from inside the room ever since the alarm clock stopped beeping.” Saber said. 

“Ask this guy. He’s a psychic.” Archer said, pointing to Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh was stunned that Archer would oust him so quickly, even when used solely as sarcasm. Psychic was not the same as clairvoyant, however. The definitions differed, therefore, Archer hadn’t actually revealed Gilgamesh’s clairvoyance. 

“Well, O great and powerful one?” Saber asked Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh exhaled sharply through his nose. “You do not need to be a psychic to know what happened.” Gilgamesh pointed at Shirou. “Mongrel, bring us some water.” 

“Shirou is suffering from a headache right now. I’ll go.” Saber said and began walking downstairs. 

“I’ll come too, Saber. I think I need a cup as well.” Shirou said. 

They returned in a matter of minutes. Gilgamesh grabbed a cup from Saber. He was about to open the door to Rin’s guest room when Shirou stopped him. 

“You can’t barge into a girl’s room without asking!” Shirou said. 

Gilgamesh turned his head to give Shirou a death glare. “I can do whatever I feel like doing.” 

Shirou realized the mistake in his wording. He quivered with fear. “You can, but Arturia wouldn’t like it. She'd probably get angry if you opened the door and barged in.” 

Gilgamesh thought for a moment. “So, what should I do about it?” 

“You should knock.” 

Gilgamesh eyed him with annoyance. “Kings don’t need to knock.” 

Shirou gulped, trying to phrase his words in a way that wouldn’t get himself killed. “It’s not about being a king, it’s about being a man. Only a child would walk right into a room without considering other people’s feelings. A mature man would knock on the door first. I’m sure Arturia would prefer her partner to be a mature guy.” 

“Mature?” Gilgamesh considered for a moment. 

Meanwhile, inside the room, Arturia and Rin were still lying in the bed. “Are you awake, Rin?” Arturia asked weakly. 

Rin’s response was a groan. 

“Yeah, I’m hurting too.” Arturia said. She tried her best to get out of bed. She managed to stand up with unsteady feet, using the edge of the bed to support herself. She was immediately plagued with a massive wave of nausea. “Come on, Rin, we have to get up. We have to go to school.” 

“No.” Rin said. 

“Rin, come on.” Arturia grabbed her friend’s arm and began to pull. 

“Let go. I’m skipping.” Rin said, brushing Arturia away. “Come back to bed and skip with me.” Rin grabbed Arturia’s arm and yanked. 

“No, Rin, I can’t…!” Arturia tried to pull herself free. She ended up tripping on her heel as she freed herself, and falling onto the floor. She was immediately hit with a shockwave of pain and dizziness. She laid herself down on the floor and curled up into a ball. 

Just then, there was a knock at the door. 

“Rin, they’re knocking.” Arturia said. 

“Do something about it if you want. I’m not getting up.” Rin groaned. 

“I can’t move.” Arturia said. There was another knock on the door. “Come in…” Arturia said in a weak voice that couldn’t be heard through the door. 

“Well, what now? No one is answering.” Gilgamesh said to Shirou.” 

“Er, that’s weird…if they don’t answer, I guess we should go in to check on them.” 

“So knocking was meaningless in the end?” Gilgamesh said sharply. 

“No! It was still the mature thing to do, it’s just that sometimes you have to adapt to strange circumstances.” 

Gilgamesh opened the door to see Arturia lying on the floor in the fetal position. Already knowing what was happening, he wasn’t worried. He knelt down next to her. “Arturia, how do you feel?” 

Arturia sat up slowly. “I’m fine.” She said, totally not fine. 

“Drink. The water will help. Take slow sips so you do not throw up.” Gilgamesh offered her the water. 

Arturia accepted the glass and began drinking. “Thanks…” 

Shirou was struggling to get Rin to accept the water. “Rin, you should drink something.” 

“Fuck off.” Rin covered her head with her blanket. 

“Rin, alcohol makes you dehydrated. The symptoms you’re feeling are from extreme dehydration. Water will make you feel better.” Archer said. 

“All of you shut up. I’m trying to sleep.” Rin said. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Gilgamesh asked Arturia. 

“I think so. Thank you…” Arturia answered. 

Gilgamesh thought it felt kind of nice taking care of her. It was cute to see the normally independent Arturia relying on him. 

“Oi. You’ve got that perverted look on your face again.” Archer said to Gilgamesh. 

“What look are you even talking about?” Gilgamesh asked, annoyed. 

“Caster, you’re not thinking anything perverted while taking care of me, right?” Arturia asked. 

“What perverted thoughts would I be thinking while taking care of a girl with a hangover?” 

“What?! No perverted thoughts! Caster, how could you? Thinking perverted things about Arturia-sama is your shtick!” Saber said. “This truly is disappointing. I mean, who even is Caster if he isn’t lusting after Arturia-sama?” 

“Fine! Shut up. I’ll think of something.” Gilgamesh said, trying to think of something generally inappropriate to fulfill his comedic purpose in this fanfiction. “Orgasms help relieve pain. If you let me make you cum, you might feel better?” 

Rin jolted up in bed, surprising Shirou with her speed. “Fuck. Me.” She said. 

“Rin, no!” Shirou said, trying to push her back down. 

“I will pay you to take this pain away!” 

“No. I’ve devoted myself to Arturia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Wow, Caster won’t even help his wife’s best friend feel better. What a terrible husband.” Saber said. 

“What?! No! I’m...I’m positive this is the course of action a husband would take!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Are you really positive though? Are you really?” Saber said. 

Well now Gilgamesh sure wasn’t positive. “Regardless, I do not want to have sex with that girl.” 

“I will pay you anything!” Rin said. 

“Rin, just drink the water! You don’t need an orgasm!” Shirou said. He was once again ignored. 

“No. I do not need your money.” Gilgamesh said to Rin. 

“No matter what treasures you have, you must need modern currency right?” Rin asked. 

“No. I have five million yen in a plastic bag laying in the corner of Arturia’s living room.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What—five million yen?! Where did you get that?!” Rin said, baffled. 

“I sold off some gold from my treasury. It wasn’t nearly enough. I had to sell off another diamond to buy Arturia a diamond ring.” Gilgamesh said. 

“A diamond ring?! Dear god, why haven’t you taken advantage of this guy yet, Arturia? You could go on a billion yen shopping spree! More importantly, you could take me, your best friend, on a billion yen shopping spree!” 

“I’m not going to take advantage of Caster just to go shopping.” Arturia said. 

“It isn’t just shopping! He’d practically do anything for you. You could take out all your sadistic desires on this guy!” 

“I don’t have sadistic desires.” 

“I bet you could step on him and he’d say ‘thank you.’” Rin said. 

“Shut up. You’re annoying me.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I bet he’d get on his knees and beg you to give him a footjob.” 

“What the hell is a footjob?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“It’s like a handjob but with your feet.” Arturia explained. 

“Why? Would hands not do it better?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Imagine it! Arturia’s feet slowly rubbing against your erect cock through her black school uniform tights until you orgasm. You’d probably love it, you sick freak!” Rin yelled. 

“Sh—shut up!” Gilgamesh yelled back, highly uncomfortable with the mixed reaction his body was giving to that idea. 

“This conversation took a really strange turn.” Saber commented. 

“I think Rin’s a little agitated from her hangover.” Archer said. 

“Rin, just drink your water! It’ll make you feel better!” Shirou said, holding Rin back from falling off her bed. 

Rin completely ignored Shirou. “I bet you want Arturia to tie you to a chair and ride you until you break. I bet you want her to fuck you so hard and so much all at once that you fall into a depression from the sheer hormone imbalance from ejaculating too much. I bet you want her to edge you to orgasm for hours until you’re pleading for her to finish you. I bet—“ 

“Arghhhh, you are really annoying me! Before Arturia and I engage in any play in which Arturia dominates me, I would like to first dominate her body!” Gilgamesh yelled. He was met with stunned silence. “I want to watch her moan and writhe under me and make adorable faces of pleasure until she screams in ecstasy from cumming! I want to drive her into a wall and make her feel me fill her into her deepest depths as I show her the greatest pleasures in the world! I want her to look at me with lust in her eyes as I kiss and finger her and beg me to go all the way! I want to make her orgasm so many times that she forgets her own name! I want to do a lot of things with Arturia, but first I would like to start with what I am used to!” 

There was a long silence. Finally, Arturia worked up the nerve to say something. “You giant pervert!” She yelled at Gilgamesh. 

“Me? I am the pervert? Were you not listening to your so called ‘best friend?’” 

“No matter what Rin said to provoke you, your fantasies are far too graphic!” 

“Someday, I really will kill you.” Archer said to Gilgamesh. 

“I doubt it. Your stats are not that amazing. If anything, I can beat you with sheer stamina. I am positive that no matter how much I fight, I will not even drain half of Arturia’s mana.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin used her eyes to check Gilgamesh’s servant stats. “Mana supply is EX?! Is that even possible?!” 

Arturia sighed. This was preferably something she didn’t want her friends to find out. Arturia possessed the blood of a dragon, and therefore has a magic core rather than magic circuits. She produced an amount of mana that would normally be impossible for a human to produce. “I’ve just always possessed a surplus of mana. It’s been like this ever since I was a child.” It was one of the reasons her parents agreed to let their second-born child inherit their magic crest. 

“Wow. You must be an amazing mage.” Rin said. 

“Not really. I only know magic for combat and the bare bones of healing magic.” Arturia said. She was suddenly hit with another headache. She winced and grabbed her head. 

“I would like to take Arturia home to rest.” Gilgamesh said. 

“That might be best.” Rin said, also feeling exhaustion from her hangover. 

“You need to drink your water and rest too Rin.” Shirou said. 

“Agh, you’re so annoying! Fine! I’ll drink your stupid water!” Rin grabbed the glass from Shirou’s hand and began chugging. Suddenly, nausea. She scrambled to her bathroom and threw up in the toilet, the glass of water dropping onto her bed and spilling into her sheets. 

“Honestly, what an idiot.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’ll take care of her.” Archer sighed and walked to the bathroom to accompany Rin. 

“I cannot take you home dressed like this. Can you change?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I can try.” Arturia tried to use Gilgamesh’s shoulder as support to get up. It only worsened the pain in her already throbbing head. 

“If you cannot do it, just say so.” Gilgamesh said. “Well, I suppose I can help you change.” He said this nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t inwardly celebrating being able to change Arturia. 

“No! I won’t be changed by a perverted man like you!” Arturia said. 

“There is no one else to do it. The mongrelette is in an even worse state than you.” 

“If Rin can’t do it...then I want Shirou to do it.” Arturia said. 

“Me?!” Shirou was stunned. 

“I trust you. You wouldn’t think anything perverted while helping me dress.” 

“Th-th-that’s a lot of trust to put in a man! Even I...I mean...do you really think that little of me as a man?” 

“No! I think of you as a man! It’s just, you’re my friend, so…” 

“I absolutely will not allow it!” Gilgamesh yelled. “No, no, no, no! Never! Not my wife!” 

“I’m not your wife!” Arturia said. 

“Regardless of Caster, I still think you shouldn’t place that much trust in a heterosexual man…you’re a really pretty girl, you know...” Shirou said. 

“Men are dogs! You cannot trust a single one of them!” Gilgamesh insisted. 

“What, so even you’re a dog?” Arturia retorted. 

“Of course! Especially me, considering doggy is one of my favorite positions!” 

“I really didn’t need to know that!” Arturia said. 

“I mean, he isn’t wrong. Doggy is a damn good position.” Saber chimed in. 

“Finally, someone is not villainizing me.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I mean, I agree with you about a sex position, but the other shit you said was pretty weird.” Saber said. 

“Whatever. Enough about that. I am not allowing another man to change Arturia’s clothing!” Gilgamesh said. 

“No one needs to change her.” Rin said, who had emerged from the bathroom being carried by Archer. “I have a white winter coat in my closet. Have Arturia wear that over her pajamas.” 

Shirou was the one to rummage through Rin’s closet to find the coat. He gave it to Arturia, who draped it around her body. Gilgamesh helped her put her arms through the sleeves and button it. 

“And don’t forget to take your new outfit with you.” Rin said. “And be prepared for a beating if I ever catch you in your school uniform on a Sunday again!” 

Arturia managed to stand, but was too fatigued to keep herself up. She nearly tripped again, but Gilgamesh caught her mid-fall. “I can carry you on my back.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’m fine.” Arturia was, once again, not at all fine. She felt like death. 

“Just shut up and get on my back.” Gilgamesh squatted down in front of her. Arturia didn’t resist and climbed on his back. 

Archer saw Gilgamesh and Arturia to the door in place of Rin, who was still sick in bed. Apparently, Shirou was going to stay at Rin’s house to take care of her. 

“Tell Rin that I said thank you for allowing me over.” Arturia mumbled to Archer. 

“I will.” Archer said, opening the door. “Goodbye Arturia.” 

“I hope you get decapitated by your own sword projections, faker.” Gilgamesh said, carrying Arturia outside. 

“I feel very loved. Goodbye, Caster.” Archer closed the door. 

Gilgamesh began the journey back to Arturia’s home. Arturia’s head rested in the crook of his neck, making shallow breaths against his ear. She was incredibly light, and Gilgamesh wondered if she had any fat on her body, or if she was just pure muscle. 

Arturia hadn’t made any noise for a while, and her breathing was starting to even out. 

“Are you going to fall asleep?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“No.” Arturia’s voice was slurred from drowsiness. “I have to go to school. I can’t fall asleep…” 

“Go ahead and rest. It must have been terrible waking up so early with a hangover. Get a few extra hours of sleep.” 

“I can’t miss school…” 

“How about this, I will not allow you to go to school today. I am forcibly keeping you inside your home. There will be no school today. I have made the decision for you, you can sleep now.” 

Arturia hummed. She was having trouble staying awake against the rise and fall of Gilgamesh’s feet. “I had a seven year streak of perfect attendance before the day you were summoned. You made me break it, and now you’re making me break it again.” 

“Why did you drink so much yesterday if you wanted to go to school today?” 

“I was having fun with everyone…” Arturia pouted. “It’s your fault I drank alcohol yesterday to begin with. You’re a bad influence on me.” 

“I am just glad you are a bit less intractable than you seem to be. It looks like I won’t have to worry about anything.” 

“Worry? About what?” 

“I can explain later. You sound as if you could fall asleep at any moment. You probably would not make it through my explanation. Sleep, we can talk more later.” 

“Do you know the way back to my house?” 

“My memory is nigh impeccable.” 

“Fine. The spare key is taped to the top of the door frame. Be sure to lock the door after we get home. I’ll yell at you for keeping me from going to school later.”

“Alright, I will be sure to prepare myself.”

Arturia’s lips curled into a soft smile. “Thank you, Caster. I had lots of fun with everyone.” Arturia said just before dozing off. 

Gilgamesh was surprised to hear these words from Arturia, for no reason other than that he didn’t do anything to contribute. Sure he supplied the wine, but other than that, he didn’t actively contribute much. Therefore he figured it was a thank you not for giving her a fun time, but for not ruining a fun time with her friends. ‘Were her expectations of me that low?’ Gilgamesh wondered. Though it was rather insulting that Arturia had likely expected him to have ruined her fun, he’d take whatever gratitude he could get from her. He needed all the positive emotions he could get with her in his pursuit for Arturia’s heart. 

When Gilgamesh finally reached Arturia’s home, he set Arturia down on her bed. He unzipped her jacket so that she wouldn’t overheat in her clothes. For a few minutes, he sat down next to her and played with the soft strings of her hair, thinking that few people have been able to hoard this adorable sleeping face to themselves. ‘Arturia will be angry if she wakes up and sees me staring at her.’ Gilgamesh decided to wait in another room for her to wake. If he had things his own way, he’d lie down right next to her and take his own nap, holding her in his arms. However, if he were to do that, Arturia would undoubtedly give him a concussion. 

Gilgamesh sighed and sat down on the couch. He began reading where he left off in a shoujo manga. Gilgamesh had made it through an incredible amount of manga in only four days. He had little else to do, after all. He had yet to explore much of Kay’s room. Kay’s room was essentially Pandora’s Box. One never knew what they would find in there. Gilgamesh has stumbled upon numerous phallus-shaped objects under the bed, of which he decided to immediately erase from his memory. He stayed away from any and all books in Kay’s room, afraid they will be just as disgusting as that tentacle hentai he found. He decided that any medium of entertainment found in the living room was generally safer than whatever could be found in Kay’s room. 

Arturia wouldn’t wake until around four hours later. She still felt fatigued from her hangover, but was at the very least functional now that she’d gotten sufficient sleep. 

“So you finally woke up. How do you feel?” Gilgamesh asked, setting aside his manga. 

“I can move now, at least.” Arturia answered. 

“Then get something to eat. You need breakfast. Something light would be best if you’re still feeling nauseous.” 

“Do you want me to make you anything?” Arturia asked. 

“Do not worry about me. You are the one with the hangover, worry about yourself first.” 

Arturia ended up just eating a banana for breakfast. She drank a tall glass of water upon Gilgamesh’s suggestion. After that, she brought her textbooks to the living room table. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’m going to work on what I’m missing in class.” 

“Absolutely not. I said there would be no school today. You are not feeling well, so you will be resting all day.” 

“Caster, don’t be stubborn.” 

“You are the stubborn one. You look terrible, you are in no state to work. I can use fire magic. I will take your textbooks outside and burn them if you don’t put them away.” 

“Well, what am I supposed to do all day if I can’t study or train?” 

“Come sit here with me and watch television or something.” 

Arturia grumbled a bit under her breath and sat down next to Gilgamesh. “What did you mean earlier about not having to worry about me?” 

“I’m surprised you even remember that while you were so drowsy.” 

“I wasn’t that tired. Just explain.” 

“Fine. I only meant that I learned a lot about you last night. Not only you, but your mongrel friends as well. To be honest, I did not know how stern you were about following the rules of this era. Following your own code of conduct—‘chivalry’ as you call it—is an entirely different matter. I was worried you would be hung up about following the laws and rules of this era that it might pose as a hindrance in the war. It looks like that worry was misplaced, however. You seem to be able to break the rules just fine, albeit with a bit of coaxing. I think it may have something to do with the mongrelette. She’s a good influence on you in this regard.” 

“What do you mean? What is Rin teaching me?” 

“Adaptability. A willingness to cheat or bend the rules shows intelligence and a winning spirit. That girl is able to adapt to complex situations, and is able to do what needs to be done. She can make hard decisions. Put in shorter terms, she survives in the wild. That is all I mean.” 

“I’m surprised. I never thought I’d hear you talking positively about Rin.” 

“There are faults and virtues in every human. It does not make her any less a mongrel, but she is at the very least a good mongrel. Her incessant sexual desire for you aside, I approve of her as your friend.” 

Arturia smiled. “I don’t need your approval for my friends...but I’m glad. I’m glad you two are getting along better.” If Arturia was to become Gilgamesh’s friend, it was necessary that Gilgamesh wasn’t always butting heads with the people she loved. “And what about Shirou? Have you got a better opinion of him yet?” 

Gilgamesh’s eyes narrowed. “That boy...is strange. He never smiles.” 

“What do you mean? He smiles all the time.” 

“He never truly smiles. Even when he is happy and has fun, he never expresses joy. It is as if he is incapable of feeling happiness. Well, no, that’s not correct—he is capable, he just does not allow himself to experience joy. Something happened to him, something bad. That is what I managed to gather on him. He probably just has some typical traumatic backstory, nothing that would particularly interest me.” 

Arturia thought for a moment. “Maybe I should talk to him. He doesn’t really talk much about his past.” 

“He is unlikely to tell you, even when asked.” 

Arturia rested her head on the couch. “You really know a lot about people.” 

“Observing humans is one of the few enjoyable pastimes I engage in. I watch over their actions and their fates. Sometimes, I find a rare person that interests me enough to consider worthy of my affection. You fall into that category, and of that category, there have only ever been two residents.” 

Arturia decided to turn on the television. She immediately switched to the news channel, she watched little else. The fact that it was set to a different channel was strange, because she never changed the channel to anything else. ‘Caster must have been watching TV earlier.’ 

Gilgamesh’s eyes flicked to the television. He wasn’t much interested in the news. Suddenly, he felt a weight drop on his shoulder. He turned his head to the side. Arturia’s head had begun leaning on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry. I’m still quite fatigued, so please allow me to rest like this for a while.” Arturia said. 

Watching the news suddenly became a lot more exciting to Gilgamesh. ‘It feels like we are lovers watching television together…!’ Gilgamesh thought. Y’know, except that Arturia was dead tired from her hangover and was using him as a human pillow. But if he ignored that fact then it really did feel like they were lovers. 

The news reported various stories, but around thirty minutes later, one story caught Arturia’s eye. 

“There has been another gas leak in the Fuyuki area…” The woman on the television said. 

“These incidents have something to do with the Holy Grail War, don’t they?” Arturia asked. 

“Yes. Likely the work of the other caster servant.” 

“Are you sure It’s a servant?” 

“To a degree, as a caster servant, I can sense the mana being drained from certain areas in this town. However, I do not know yet where the mana is being collected. I would need to go around the city to locate the mana reservoir.” 

Arturia’s fist clenched. “Disgusting. Stealing mana from innocent people...it’s awful.” Arturia sat up from Gilgamesh’s shoulder. “We have to kill that caster servant immediately!” 

“Immediately? I don’t think that is the best idea.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What?” 

“That servant is probably sitting on a giant mana tank. That coupled with the fact that we do not know their identity or how strong they are makes them a riskier foe. Personally I think we should wait until we know more about them.” 

“It isn’t about risk, it’s about saving innocent lives!” 

“Lives? So far no one’s been drained dry. Most of them are in comas. It does not seem like an immediate concern.” 

“Protecting innocent civilians is not an immediate concern? Aren’t you supposed to be the self-proclaimed king of the world?! Don’t you consider these people your subjects?! You would just allow them to be harmed?!” 

“Indeed, I do dislike that another servant sees fit to sacrifice humans when only the king has the right to do so. I will stop Caster in due time, and he or she will be punished for their actions.” 

“I can’t believe this! How are you not angry?!” 

“I am annoyed to a degree, but a king should not let his composure slip for something as small as this.” 

Arturia jumped to her feet. “Small?! How is this small?! Allowing this to go on when you have the choice to stop it...is the same as doing it yourself! Don’t tell me you would do something as despicable as soul eating!” 

“Were it necessary of me.” 

“...what?” 

“Were it necessary of me, I would.” 

Arturia could hardly believe her ears. A man she wanted to become friends with was saying that he’d engage in an act as lowly to her as a beast. “You...I expected you to be better than this!” 

“‘Better than this?’” What Gilgamesh saw was an expression of genuine hurt on Arturia’s face. Soon, however, it was replaced by anger. 

“ _Tch._ ” Arturia stood up from her seat and ran to her room, slamming the door. 

“I’m surprised she can run so fast while still hungover.” Gilgamesh thought aloud. He had known Arturia wouldn’t like what he had to say, but he wasn’t expecting her to become angry to this extent. It was her last sentence that confused him. ‘She expected me to be better than this? What exactly are her expectations of me?’ 

Gilgamesh decided he’d just wait for Arturia to calm down and come out of her room. Apparently, he underestimated Arturia’s stubbornness, because she was still in her room even hours later. ‘Isn’t she going to come out to eat?’ It was already hours past the time she’d usually have lunch. Gilgamesh decided enough was enough and that he wouldn’t tolerate Arturia skipping a meal. 

He walked to the entrance of Arturia’s room. He paused before turning the handle and remembered what Shirou told him about being a mature man. He knocked on the door. “Arturia?” 

Arturia didn’t answer. She was sitting on her bed, ignoring the gnawing in her stomach. The fact that Gilgamesh knocked had surprised her, but it wasn’t enough to make her forgive him. 

“You are really still angry with me?” Gilgamesh asked through the door. He sighed. “I will not apologize for saying I would do what’s necessary. If it were to ensure my safety, your safety, or the safety of something else important to me, I would do it. I would not drain a human as a first resort. At this point in my life, I would not even drain a human for entertainment. Human suffering grows duller and duller as one grows older. It’s not as if I would attack civilians indiscriminately.” He paused and waited for a reply from Arturia, but received none. He couldn’t believe he had to actually make a compromise with someone. “Come out with me, Arturia.” He finally said, causing Arturia’s eyes to widen slightly. “If you want to begin our battle against Caster, fine, you win. However there will be no fighting tonight. I can sense the flow of mana throughout the city. If we follow the trail, it will lead us directly to Caster’s hideout. Once we know Caster’s base, we can begin making attack plans with the mongrel and the mongrelette. But once again, there will be no fighting tonight. Is that compromise satisfactory?” 

Arturia’s door opened slightly. “We’ll leave after we eat lunch. I’ll start cooking.” She slipped through the parted door and walked in the direction of the kitchen. She stopped, not turning around. “And...thank you for compromising, Caster.” She continued her strides to the kitchen. 

Gilgamesh felt relieved that what he said had actually worked. Arturia really was a difficult girl. She was certainly the first girl he’d ever needed to compromise with. He decided to wait for Arturia at the table. Fifteen minutes later, however, he heard a crash resound from the kitchen. When he went to check, he found Arturia picking up shattered porcelain from the floor. 

“Don’t come here with bare feet. You might get something stuck in your foot.” Arturia said. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Don’t worry. I’m just a chronic plate dropper. I’ve always been like this.” She took out a broom and dustpan and began sweeping up the broken fragments of porcelain. 

“So this has nothing to do with your hangover?” 

“Well, I am a bit fatigued, but this would have happened one way or another. It was bound to happen now that I’ve been making food more complex than instant ramen.” 

“Do you...require assistance?” 

Arturia made a noise halfway between a laugh and a scoff. “What, so you’re willing to get on the ground and clean for me?” 

“Of course not!” 

“Then what’s the point in asking?” 

Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “I could assist in some other way.” 

Arturia seemed slightly surprised. “Then could you bring me a wet paper towel?” She said as she emptied the dustpan into the trash can. 

With a huff, Gilgamesh took a paper towel and ran it under the stream of water from the sink. He then wrung it out and handed it to Arturia. 

Arturia folded it in half and began wiping down the floor. 

“Are you washing the floor?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“No. This is meant to pick up any tiny pieces of shattered glass or porcelain.” Arturia said as she wiped down the floor. 

Gilgamesh watched for a few seconds in silence. “You seem hopeless, but you are actually quite capable, aren’t you?” 

“I would be angry at you for calling me hopeless...but you’re right. Cooking and cleaning are beyond me. I’m probably the opposite of what a Japanese wife should be. I don’t think I could be called capable, I only barely get by with the few practical skills I have.” Arturia stood up and threw the paper towel away, then began to wash her hands. “I don’t mind though. All that really matters is that I win the Holy Grail and save my country. As long as I’m capable enough to do that, I don’t mind if I break dishes and burn food.” 

Gilgamesh leaned against the wall in thought. “Let’s say, hypothetically, you survive the war but don’t win the Grail. What would you do then?” 

Arturia had by this time gone back to her cooking. “Hmm, there’s always seppuku, isn’t there?” 

“Suicide?!” 

“I’m surprised the Grail told you what seppuku is.” 

“Are you saying you’d commit suicide if you can’t obtain the Grail?!” 

“Seppuku is different from suicide. It’s a ritual performed by Japanese warriors, samurai, when they disgrace their family name in some way. If I can’t obtain the Grail, I can at the very least bring honor back to the Pendragon name by committing seppuku.” 

“That’s too fucking dark for a romance comedy!” 

“By the way, Caster, I feel It’s only fitting to ask you since you’re my partner in the Holy Grail War, will you do me the favor of granting me a swift death by cutting my head off after I’ve disemboweled myself?” 

“Like hell! I am not afraid to bind you and lock you in a padded room for your own safety!” 

“Bind me? If you’re looking for the sibling that’s into bondage you should turn to Kay. Oh, but apparently he’s into it both ways so I don’t know if your body can handle it.” 

“What?” 

“Nevermind. You don’t understand that joke.” Arturia kept trying to fold the seaweed paper around the sushi, but it kept coming undone. “Damn it…” She said as she tried again. 

Gilgamesh raised a brow at Arturia’s struggles. He walked the counter and wrapped one of the unfinished hand rolls. “Is this what you are trying to do?” 

“What?! How the hell did you do that?!” Arturia stared at the finished hand roll sitting on the counter. 

“I wrapped it.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I know that! I mean how did you get it to stay wrapped like that? Mine keep coming undone!” 

“I placed the edge of the paper facing down. The weight of the sushi keeps it in place.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia looked at the hand roll Gilgamesh made like it was the work of a genius. She quickly grabbed the roll she’d been working (failing) on and rolled it, then placed it with the edge facing down. It wasn’t the prettiest hand roll, but it did stay in shape. “Thank you. I’ve been working on this for a while. Lunch will be ready soon, you can go ahead and sit back down at the table.” She smiled. 

Gilgamesh returned to the table. He sat down and crossed his legs. ‘At least Arturia does not seem angry anymore.’ He thought. The last thing Gilgamesh needed was for Arturia to believe he was a monster. 

Arturia came out of the kitchen holding two plates. She set one down next to Gilgamesh and one across the table. At first Arturia had seated them like that to distance herself from Gilgamesh. Now it just felt like their rightful seats at the table. Arturia was just a few feet across from Gilgamesh. Four days in a row they’ve sat down and eaten with each other. They started to feel like roommates. 

“They’re spicy tuna hand rolls. Let me know if they're good.” Arturia said whilst taking a bit of her own hand roll. 

Gilgamesh, slightly hesitantly, took a bite from one of the hand rolls. “It is good. It is not pretty, but it tastes fairly good.” He liked the spice in it. 

“The great thing about sushi is that you don’t have to cook it. You just need to put the ingredients together. Even I can’t fuck that up...mostly, at least. They’re a bit malformed. I’m glad you like them.” 

It wasn’t fancy like Gilgamesh liked, but when made by Arturia it had a charm of its own. A homemade taste. He wondered if this is what Arturia meant by warm feeling food. Honestly, the food made by Arturia’s mongrel friends had tasted better, but he still preferred the food Arturia made. He wondered if it was because it was made by someone he loved. No, he didn’t just ‘wonder,’ he knew it for sure. 

They commenced in idle chit chat for a while. Arturia finally said what was on her mind. “Caster, if you’re going to be my servant, I want you to promise that you’ll never eat a civilian’s soul.” 

Gilgamesh knew something like this would be coming. He’d already internally prepared himself for this. “I cannot make that promise. However, I will promise that I will never eat a soul unless it is absolutely necessary.” 

Arturia was silent for a moment. “That is acceptable; but know that if you ever eat a soul, I will never forgive you.” 

Gilgamesh looked down at his plate, but ultimately accepted that answer. It wasn’t as if he needed to worry about this. Arturia had more than plenty of mana to provide him. ‘She’s incredibly innocent for a girl that has been to war twelve times. Even I have not shed that much blood. How far does she take this code of chivalry?’ 

After lunch, Arturia collected their plates and placed them neatly in the sink. Next, she dressed in the new clothing Rin gave her. “Alright. Let’s go find that other Caster.” Arturia said to Gilgamesh. 

They exited the house and began their journey. 

“You know where you’re going right?” Arturia asked. 

“I am merely following the trail of mana in the city. I just have to follow the general direction until we reach the source.” Gilgamesh explained. 

Arturia nodded her head to show she understood. Truthfully, she was hoping this wouldn’t take too long. She was feeling better as time went on, but she was still fatigued. She wanted to get some rest before tonight. 

They walked through the city for about thirty minutes. Finally, Gilgamesh stopped. “This is where the mana density is strongest.” Gilgamesh said. They were currently at the stairs to Ryuudou temple. “What’s more, there’s a barrier around this temple. Servants are only able to enter from this gate.” 

Arturia took one step up the stairs before Gilgamesh grabbed her arm. She halted her walking. 

“There will be no fighting tonight, remember?” Gilgamesh said. 

“Alright.” Arturia nodded. She smiled. “Thank you for this. I really appreciate you compromising with me.” 

Gilgamesh couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“What are you laughing at?” Arturia asked, nose and forehead slightly scrunched. 

“You really are the only woman I would do this for. Even I am surprised at this.” 

Arturia’s face heated slightly. She calmed herself with a deep breath. “Let’s go home. I’d like to rest.” Arturia 

They returned to Arturia’s house for the evening. Arturia found a package on her front doorstep. She smiled like a little girl at Christmas. 

“It’s here!” She grabbed the large package and carried it inside. 

“What is it? Did you buy something?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’ve been waiting for this to arrive for months. I was worried it wouldn’t come in time for the Holy Grail War.” Arturia grabbed a pen knife and opened the box. She reached in and lifted up a finely detailed western longsword. “Wonderful.” She held it fondly. “How nostalgic. I’ve been fighting with the katana for my entire second life, but I’ll always be suited more for the blades of my people. This sword is not my Excalibur, but it will suffice for this war.” 

Gilgamesh smiled. “I cannot wait to see you wield it on the battlefield.” 

Arturia looked at her reflection in the pristine metal of her new blade. “I just wish I knew where to store it. I can’t pretend it’s a kendo stick like I can with my katana.” 

“I could hold onto it for you.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What do you mean? You can’t hold material objects when you go into spirit form.” 

Gilgamesh grabbed the hilt of the blade. He stuck the end into a portal of his Gate of Babylon. The sword slowly entered the portal. 

Arturia’s eyes widened in astonishment. “Wh-where did you put it?! That thing cost me nearly one hundred-thousand yen!” 

“Relax.” Gilgamesh pulled the blade out of his Gate. “It’s right here. I can hold onto it until you need it.” 

Arturia looked at him in amazement, then smiled. “Alright, that sounds good. I entrust my blade to you, Caster.” 

Gilgamesh adopted a triumphant look, enjoying the feeling of being useful. 

“I’m going to go take a nap. Please wake me when it’s time for me to make dinner.” Arturia walked to her room. 

Arturia undressed and let her hair down. She wanted to rest now so she would have energy for later. She felt better with each passing hour, and her fatigue was beginning to fade. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes. 

Arturia would not end up waking until around nine o’clock. She looked at her alarm clock and exited the bedroom. She found Gilgamesh on the couch. “Caster, you didn’t wake me.” 

“You were sleeping so peacefully that I wanted to let you rest. Well, how do you feel after a nap?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’m almost all better.” Arturia smiled. “I’ll go make dinner.” She began to walk to the kitchen before stopping and tapping her chin. “Do you want to pick what we eat today?” She asked. 

“Me? I am not familiar with the cuisine from this era, nor of this country.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’ll bring you the recipe book. You can choose whatever you think looks good.” Arturia took the thick recipe book from the book stand where it sat on the kitchen counter. She went back to the kitchen and sat down next to Gilgamesh. “What kind of food do you want to eat tonight?” 

Gilgamesh considered. He knew what he disliked, plain and dull foods. So the answer to her question would be that he enjoyed flavorful meals. However, that was very broad. He tried to narrow it down. He enjoyed meat, which he felt was very normal for a man. His favorite meats were land animals like goats, cattle, and pigs. He liked them equally for the most part, so he just chose one at random. “Cattle. Something flavorful made of cattle.” 

“Cattle? You mean beef? I have some in the fridge that I found on sale the other day. I probably should use it soon before it goes bad. Let me look in the recipe book…” Arturia began skimming the table of contents. “There’s a few beef dishes. Beef stew, fried beef patties, hamburg steak...oh! There’s a recipe for a steak rice bowl with spicy teriyaki sauce. Does that sound flavorful enough?” 

“It sounds interesting.” 

“Okay. I’ll start cooking.” Arturia said as she stood up. 

“I have a question. You are terrible at cooking, you are a chronic plate dropper, and you could not even wrap a hand roll without my assistance. Why are you so intent on cooking for me?” Gilgamesh asked, leaning back on the couch. 

Arturia answered without missing a beat. “You’re a guest in my home. Even if it’s difficult for me, I would at least like to show proper hospitality. Besides, I’m grateful to have you as my partner in this war.” She smiled. She resumed walking to the kitchen. 

Gilgamesh considered her words. ‘Something feels off tonight…’ Arturia wasn’t acting particularly strange, just slightly different from usual. It gave Gilgamesh a slightly bad gut feeling. He decided to brush it off. He just might be slightly unnerved by how nice Arturia was acting. 

Arturia came out of the kitchen about twenty minutes later holding two relatively large bowls. She set the table and sat down. 

Gilgamesh looked into the bowl. There was rice at the bottom with steak slices on top, coated with some type of sauce, with green onion and sesame seeds sprinkled on top. Gilgamesh reached in with his chopsticks and grabbed a slice of steak. He put it in his mouth and began to chew. He kept chewing, and chewing, and chewing...basically the steak was really tough and chewy. If the steak was burned, Gilgamesh couldn’t taste it with the strong flavor of the sauce. The sauce was pretty good. The texture wasn’t too thick or lumpy in any way, which he had to admit he wasn’t expecting. The flavor was good, probably because teriyaki sauce is premade. It was also decently spicy. Ultimately, it could have been worse. “It is good.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia smiled. “I’m glad.” She took a bite out of her own food. She looked down in surprise. “Eh, it really doesn’t taste bad.” 

“So you are aware of how your cooking tastes?” 

“Of course. I’m just not picky. Regardless of how it tastes, I still require nutrition.” Arturia said, taking another bite. “I wonder if I’ll ever get better at cooking.” 

“You will. You probably just need more practice. Perhaps it may help if you got a teacher or took lessons.” 

“I could ask Shirou to give me cooking lessons. He’d probably be willing to help me.” 

“Absolutely not.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You were the one to suggest a teacher!” 

“You and him alone in the kitchen while he instructs you on form and is generally in close proximity to you…” Gilgamesh said this and shoveled rice into his mouth increasingly fast until he slammed his fist against the table. “ _damn!_ Just the idea makes me furious!” 

Arturia surprisingly didn’t get angry at his possessive behavior. “Even if I’m friends with Shirou, that doesn’t mean I’d start to like you any less. You’re my trusted ally. Liking Shirou and Rin doesn’t mean I have to stop liking you. There’s enough room in my heart for all three of you.” 

Gilgamesh certainly wasn’t expecting a heartfelt reaction. He didn’t entirely know how to react to it. ‘She really is acting differently today…’ “Those two are my love rivals. Of course I would hate the idea of you being around them for extended periods of time.” 

“I want my allies to get along.” The word ‘friend’ felt awkward to use. Arturia didn’t even know if Gilgamesh would want to be her friend. 

“I have been trying to ‘get along’ with them. I have not killed either of them yet. That proves my efforts.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia looked down into her bowl of food. “Yeah, you’ve been trying to get along. Thank you.” She looked back up and smiled. Gilgamesh once again felt a strange feeling in his gut. 

Dinner ended about ten minutes later. Before resigning to his bed, Gilgamesh grabbed Arturia’s arm and asked, “Are you feeling okay?” 

Arturia turned to face him. “Yes. My hangover is almost gone after that nap.” 

“Not the hangover, just in general. You have been acting strange today.” 

“Strange? Did I do something weird?” Arturia asked. 

“No, nothing weird. Just a bit different than usual. You look as though something is weighing on you.” 

Arturia’s eyebrows raised. “I’m feeling fine. I might just be a bit nervous about what’s going to come next in the Grail War.” 

Gilgamesh nodded and accepted her answer. “Get some rest, then. You’ll feel better in the morning. If you are feeling anxious in some way, there is no need to worry. I will be here to protect you.” 

The smile Arturia gave him almost seemed sad. “Thank you. I’m relying on you.” 

They both went to their separate rooms to rest. 

Around an hour later, Arturia rose from her bed and began to dress. She put on a sports bra, a tank top, and gym shorts—clothing that would allow for full freedom of movement. Arturia had no armor as a human, and didn’t know where to acquire armor either. If she couldn’t have protection, she could at least have full bodily freedom. It wasn’t as if extra fabric would protect her anyway. She then set her hair up in her typical tight bun. She grabbed her katana from beside her bed. ‘Caster still has my new sword. I’ll have to settle for this for now.’ She put on her running shoes at the door and exited her home. 

Before fully out the door, she looked back inside in the direction of Gilgamesh’s room. ‘I’m sorry, Caster.’ She closed the door as quietly as she could on her way out. 

It took around thirty minutes to reach Ryuudou Temple. Arturia ascended the steps until she was stopped by a man with blue hair. 

“I didn’t realize we’d be having guests tonight.” The man said, unsheathing his katana. 

Arturia unsheathed her blade as well. “What servant class are you?” She asked. 

“Assassin. My name is Sasaki Kojiro.” Assassin said. 

Arturia was taken aback by Assassin naming himself. “I see. As a knight, I must follow the code of chivalry and name myself. I am—“ 

“No need. I will learn everything I need to know about you from your blade. Besides, you’re a human. You have no True Name to hide. I’m assuming you’re a master, correct?” 

“Yes. I am the master of the second caster servant.” 

“The second? How troublesome. I have my hands full with just the vixen I’m stuck with.” 

“Speaking of this ‘vixen,’ I come tonight seeking out Caster. Please step aside, Assassin. I have no business with you.” Arturia said. 

“I am the guardian of this gate. None may enter before beating my blade.” Assassin said, readying his stance. 

“I see. Then have at you!” Arturia lunged and began to exchange blows with Assassin. He blocked every blow and saw through every feint. It was made worse by the fact that she didn’t have her longsword. She wasn’t as formally trained with the katana as she was with a longsword. She’d merely had books to guide herself when adapting her skills. The fight still wouldn’t have been easy with her longsword, but it definitely would’ve been easier. 

“Not bad, little girl. You’re quite proficient with your blade. However, I can tell that you aren’t proficient at Japanese swordplay.” Assassin halted his movements and said. 

“Your assumption is correct. I excel at the sword of my people. I’ve merely adapted my skills to the katana for ease of access in this country.” Arturia replied. 

“What a shame. I would have preferred to battle such a splendid opponent at her full capacity.” 

“If I ever get the chance to battle you again, I will be sure to be at my best.” Arturia smiled. 

“Sadly, you will never get that chance.” 

Their swords once again clashed. ‘He has the advantage with the high ground.’ Arturia thought. She pushed him back with extremely strong blows until they reached level ground. 

“Well, my lovely little bird, I thought it would be unfair to use a noble phantasm on a human, but you truly are a splendid opponent worthy of my fullest attention. I couldn’t do it before on the stairs, but it seems we have a level playing field now. And so, little bird, my ultimate attack.” Assassin readied his sword. 

Arturia suddenly had a terrible feeling in her stomach. Everything in her told her to dodge or else her head would be separated from her neck. 

“Tsubame Gaeshi.” Assassin said just as Arturia threw herself down the steps. 

At that moment, Gilgamesh’s eyes snapped open. He could feel Arturia getting injured through his connection to her. ‘She’s fighting?! Damnit! I knew she was acting strange!’ The guilt of a lie weighs heavily on Arturia...what a terrible liar to show such obvious signs! He jumped out of bed and ran out the door. 

Arturia had barely escaped. She tumbled down the small flight of stairs until she reached the next level platform. She landed hard on her arm. She recovered and stood up after a few seconds of lying on the platform. She felt for injuries. ‘A fracture in my left arm and some bruises, but nothing major.’ She put her hand over the fractured part of her arm. Her hand began to glow and the crack inside her bone mended. 

“I’m impressed you dodged. You truly are on par with a servant.” Assassin said. 

“I thank you for your compliment. May I ask about your special technique?” Arturia said. 

“Ah, my tsubame gaeshi, it is merely the work of a man with too much idle time. I set out to kill a sparrow one day, but those creatures are fast little devils. I invented a technique to strike three times within a single breath, effectively cutting off a bird's swift escape.” 

‘That wasn’t a single breath. At that moment, three swords existed.’ Arturia thought. ‘He invented a technique that reaches beyond True Magic simply from idle time. This man far surpasses me in sword technique.’ She wished at this moment that she had her longsword. Another problem was that she was still a little hungover. She needed her full attention for an opponent like Assassin. 

“No servant may enter this temple gate before beating my blade. Perhaps you might have been able to break through if you had a noble phantasm.” Assassin said. 

“Wait, ‘no servant?’” Arturia asked. 

“Indeed.” 

“So is it okay if I…?” Arturia stepped off the edge of the stairs and onto the mountain side. Then she climbed up the last few meters until she finally made her way around the gate. 

“Yes, that is absolutely fine. You’re officially out of my jurisdiction. Go give that vixen a scare, my beautiful little bird.” Assassin gave Arturia a thumbs up and a wink.

Arturia smiled. “If I had come with more spare time, I would have made sure to finish my fight with you. Someday, I promise we will finish our duel.” 

“I will be waiting, little bird.” Assassin winked. 

Arturia entered further into the temple, preparing herself for an attack. 

“Well, well, it seems we have an intruder.” Caster appeared out of air around three meters away from Arturia. “Where is your servant, girl?” 

“I left him at home. My blade is all I need to defeat you.” 

“Oh my, how cute. This little girl thinks she can stand up to a servant. You may be able to hold your own against Assassin with just strengthening magic and sword skills, but what about a magic-oriented servant?” 

“I suppose we’ll find out as we battle.” Arturia said. 

Caster flew up into the air and shot a beam of magical enemy at Arturia. Arturia dodged and charged mana into her feet to leap up to Caster’s level and slash her sword. Caster barely managed to dodge this attack, startled with Arturia’s speed and skill. 

Gilgamesh leapt through the city. He finally made it to Ryuudou temple. He began to ascend the steps before he was halted by a servant. 

“No servant may pass this gate without besting my blade.” Assassin said. 

“Get out of my way. I have to protect my wife.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Wife? Do you mean the girl who entered the temple earlier tonight? Ah, What a fine young lady. She truly is a beautiful sight with that sword. I only wish I could have seen her with that western longsword that she mentioned. You must be the second Caster servant then.” 

“Let me pass.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You must first beat me in battle. Draw your weapon.” 

“Weapon? I’m a caster servant. I will just defeat you with magic.” 

Assassin seemed bewildered. “Have you a melee weapon?” 

“I have my axe.” Gilgamesh materialized his axe. 

“Then we shall duel—“

“But it would be easier to defeat you with magic. I am a caster servant, I have more firepower as a mage than a fighter. I can use my axe, but when I get serious, I will use magic.” 

Assassin’s face took on a slight grimace of frustration. “But—“

“But nothing. I am a caster. You guard this gate right? Does that mean you are stuck on these steps?” 

Assassin stayed silent. 

“Great. It will be even easier to hit an opponent who does not have much space to move. Just a few spells and I can kill you easily. In fact, I will just kill you now.” Gilgamesh summoned his clay book of spells. 

“Wait! You can’t kill me yet!” 

“Why?”

“I have a promise with that girl—your master. We made a promise that we’d finish our duel.” 

The book disappeared from Gilgamesh’s hand. “Hm. Then Arturia would probably not want me to kill you. She would definitely be angry if I forced her to break a promise. Then again, she did lie to me and break an agreement we made. But, if I take the moral high ground, I can rub it in Arturia’s face later while if I stoop to the same level I will become as guilty as her...fine, I will let you live.” 

Caster managed to shoot Arturia’s sword out of her hand. Arturia landed on a rooftop and checked herself. Her hand was still good enough to fight. 

“Well girl, how do you intend to fight me without your sword.” Caster grinned. 

“It was I that introduced swordplay into my training in the modern day. I merely adapted skills I’d learned in my previous life. My parents, however, had always intended for me to fight with my fists.” Arturia’s magic crest glowed on her arm. She strengthened her fists and used a mana burst to advance against Caster. It hit the woman right in the gut and slammed her into the wall of the temple. The impact was strong enough to crack some of the wooden boards of the wall. “You’ve been defeated, Caster.” Arturia wished her sword was nearby. Killing a woman with her fists would be very messy. She at least wanted to give her enemy a quick death. 

Suddenly, there was an impact on Arturia's side. She felt a sickening crack in her rib cage. The last thought she had was when she saw her assailant. ‘Mr. Kuzuki…?’ Her head hit the ground over ten meters from where she had stood. Arturia passed out from the collision. 

Gilgamesh watched Arturia’s limp body fly through the air and hit the ground, rolling across the temple floor. “Arturia!” He yelled. He tried to run to her, but was blocked by Assassin’s sword. 

“I cannot let you pass.” Assassin said. 

Gilgamesh stepped out and pulled Arturia’s sword from his Gate of Babylon. 

“Oh, so you will finally fight me properly?” 

“No. This is Arturia’s longsword, the one she was telling you about. Let me pass, and I swear that the next time you see her, she will be wielding this blade. I also promise that no matter the outcome, I will not interfere with your battle.” Gilgamesh said. 

Assassin considered. 

Caster had since recovered and stood up on her feet. She began to laugh. “It was a good effort, child, but all for naught. I’ve become rather interested in you, I think I’ll keep you as a pet. You might be a useful diversion in a battle against Berserker. What’s more, you seem to have a massive mana output. You may become useful in summoning the Grail as well. You are a human with no magic resistance, so a simple spell should be all I need to control you. I might as well steal your servant too.” Caster began to walk to Arturia, taking out her noble phantasm, Rule Breaker. 

“Caster!” Kuzuki grabbed Caster and jumped out of the way as three magical beams penetrated the air right where Caster had been. 

“You will do no such thing to my wife.” Gilgamesh said. He ran to Arturia and checked her condition. ‘Damn this girl. This is exactly why I did not want to fight Caster yet...this stubborn girl!’ 

Caster was about to attack, but Kuzuki stopped her. “That’s enough for tonight, Caster.” 

Gilgamesh picked up Arturia in his arms. He turned to Caster and her master. “You mongrels are lucky that my wife needs immediate help. If not, I would have killed you here. His eyes seemed to glow crimson in the moonlight, and his glare sent a shiver of fear down Caster’s spine. 

Gilgamesh grabbed Arturia’s fallen sword and leapt away into the night. 

—-

Arturia slowly returned to consciousness. She found Gilgamesh using magic to heal her ribs. She could feel the pain slowly being alleviated. 

“Caster—“ Arturia began. 

“Shut up. Don’t talk.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Are you mad—“ 

“I am extremely mad. You could have been killed or captured had I not come to rescue you.” Gilgamesh said with his brows scrunched in anger. 

“...Sorry.” Arturia cast her eyes down in dejection. 

It was hard for Gilgamesh to stay mad when Arturia was making such a sad face. “You broke an agreement we made, even though I made an effort to compromise.” 

Arturia closed her eyes and sighed. “I thought I could win.” 

“I told you there were too many unknown factors. We do not know her identity or her noble phantasm, nor what abilities her master has.” Gilgamesh said. “Listen, neither of us are as strong as we once were. As annoying as it is, we need to be smarter about who we attack, when, and how.” 

“You’re not as strong?” 

“In life I had unparalleled strength. My only equal was Enkidu. My fighting style was very different. I would propel swords and spears and other noble phantasms as ‘arrows’ of sorts. I probably would have manifested as an archer. As an archer, I would have been the strongest servant. I suppose you got unlucky when you summoned me.” 

Arturia shook her head. “I’m not unlucky. I’m glad I summoned you.” 

Gilgamesh didn’t answer and just continued to heal her bruises. ‘I will not be moved by feelings, I am supposed to be angry right now.’ 

“I’m sorry for breaking a promise.” Arturia said. “That was foolish of me. I understand what you were talking about now. I just feel too idle. It’s been five days since you’ve been summoned and we’ve barely done anything.” 

“You are being impatient. As your servant, I’ve made a promise to bring you victory and give you the Grail. Though, I would rather give you all of life’s greatest pleasures, and the love you have not experienced.” 

“I don’t want pleasures or love. I just want to save my country.” 

There was a short silence. “You truly want nothing but the Grail?” 

“Nothing.” 

“You have never had any other aspirations? There has never been anything else you wanted to be?” 

“Nothing else.” 

“Has there not been any particular occupation you looked up to? There was nothing you wanted to be growing up?” 

“Well...no, it’s stupid.” 

“Tell me.” 

Arturia pouted her lips. “When I was a kid, my parents said I used to love playing house with Kay. I used to love things like looking pretty and playing with girly products—” 

“So you want to be a wife!” 

“No! There was more than just that. I also used to love playing doctor. My fathers said I always wanted to make people feel better. I used to apparently admire doctors a lot.” 

“Then you want to be a doctor who is also a wife. That is perfectly manageable. I can make that happen if you become my wife.” 

“That was when I was a kid! I don’t even remember that stuff. I was only told those stories by my parents. If we’re drawing tons of conclusions based on childhood stories, then I should also tell you that I wanted to be Kay’s wife as a child. I was always getting mad at him for getting girlfriends at school. I always used to talk about having babies with him.” 

“That’s incredibly incestuous.” 

“I was fucking five stop looking at me like I screwed my brother. Anyway, I have no desire to marry him now and he’s not even close to my type. We can’t just draw conclusions based on things I used to like as a child.” 

“What happened to all those desires? You seem to have totally changed.” 

“My parents said it stopped around six or seven. I just completely stopped doing all that. I never played house with Kay again. They said that was around the time I started asking how to learn magic.” 

“What happened?” 

“If I’m remembering correctly, that was when I started getting my memories of my past life back.” 

“I see.” 

“None of my past desires matter. What matters now is the Holy Grail.” 

Gilgamesh sighed. “You really have a one-track mind, huh?” 

The silence that ensued after that comment was slightly awkward to Arturia. Gilgamesh looked unperturbed, however, and Arturia wondered if he ever felt awkward. 

“Thank you for saving me, Caster.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh smiled. “I decided you are mine. I do not allow others to hurt what is mine.” He rested his hand on her head. 

“Don’t pat my head like that. You’ll make me feel like a dog.” Arturia swiped his hand away. 

“No, I’m trying to heal you. You definitely got a concussion when you were attacked. You blacked out completely, that’s pretty severe. Plus you have a giant bruise on the side of your head. You need to be more careful. You are a human, not a servant.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Oh...sorry.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh was about to heal Arturia, but not before petting her head a bit, which Arturia responded to with annoyance. Arturia and Gilgamesh’s first real battle ended with no clear winner, but the real war had just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter finished. Dear Jesus, why are they so long now? It’s only day five too! I don’t think I realized what I signed up for when I decided to make an entirely new route to fsn. This might be a long one. We’re already over 40k. Yikes. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well. I think my favorite part of the chapter was Rin telling, “I bet you’d love it, you sick freak!” after describing a footjob to gil. I remember writing that out and looking at it like “...the fuck did I just write??” 
> 
> I went back and read my first crack fic, Gilgamesh Harem, and dear god it’s so different from this fanfiction! My writing humor has evolved a lot. I like this version better because it’s basically a crack fic with plot. I kinda like that. The first part of the fic was humorous, but the rest had a slightly serious tone to it beside the occasional joke. There’s also some foreshadowing in this chapter to later events. I can’t wait to write some of the dramatic bits. There’s some crazy drama near the end involving the two Gilgameshs and Arturia. I want to develop their romance faster but writing takes so long! In the summer I’ll have more time, after finishing Marriage in Sumer of course. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Arturia rose from her bed that day feeling much better than she had the night before, where she had a hangover and subsequently received a concussion. She stretched her arms into the air. She wasn’t afforded much time to sleep, but she’d had a nap just before she left the night before, so she was still fairly well rested. 

“I wonder if he’s still mad.” Arturia thought out loud. She hoped Gilgamesh wasn’t. Though, it wasn’t as if the anger would be unwarranted. She lied to him about something very important, and it very nearly cost her life. Arturia had become very aware how much weaker she’d become without her armor, horse, and trusted knights. 

She decided she didn’t have time to keep lamenting over her mistakes. She didn’t want to miss any more school. She pulled on her uniform and exited her room. She knocked on the door to Gilgamesh’s room. 

The door opened. “I am pleasantly surprised you did not leave without telling me.” Gilgamesh said with a smile. 

Arturia adopted a guilty blush on her face. “Come on, it’s time for school.” 

Gilgamesh dematerialized and Arturia left her house, heading in the direction of her school. She met Rin outside the main gate. “Arturia, are you feeling better?” Rin asked. “My hangover is completely gone after a day of rest.” 

_“You felt so much better yesterday that you decided to go out and injure yourself further.”_ Gilgamesh said inside Arturia’s mind. 

“Shut up.” Arturia said aloud, surprising Rin. “No, not you! I meant him.” Arturia pointed to her head. “He just won’t shut up about something. I’m feeling a lot better. By the way, I have some important news to share about the war. Let’s meet together with Shirou at lunch.” 

The school bell was about to ring, so the girls ran to class with haste. They sat through their classes with focus but without much interest. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Kuzuki wasn’t at the school. Arturia doubted that he’d be coming back to school at all now that he knew there was at least one enemy master there. 

Arturia stood up as the lunch bell rang. She walked to the next class over and found a familiar red headed boy. “Shirou, let’s meet for lunch at the rooftop.” She smiled. 

Half the class had their mouth agape in shock. 

“Alright, Arturia—!” Shirou was yanked aside by Issei.

“Shirou, you never told me you were going out with Arturia!” Issei whispered. 

“We aren’t going out. We’re just eating lunch at the rooftop.” 

“I am...saddened to let you go...but Arturia is a good woman. I approve of her as your partner.” Issei said. 

“Did you not hear what I just said? We’re not like that.” Shirou said. 

“Is something wrong?” Arturia asked, noticing that the class was staring. 

_“You seriously do not understand? A gorgeous girl like you is asking the most plain guy in the world to eat lunch with her alone on the rooftop.”_ Gilgamesh explained. 

“But we won’t be alone. Rin will also be there.” Arturia said. This time there was an audible gasp from the onlookers. 

“Shirou! Don’t tell me you’ve been ensnared by that vixen’s tricks!” Issei grabbed Shirou’s shoulders and asked. 

“It’s not like that!” Shirou said. 

“I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly?” The class went silent as Arturia spoke. She began walking closer to Shirou and Issei. “Am I correct in hearing that you just called my best friend, Rin, a girl that any man would be lucky to date, a vixen?” She was right in front of Issei when her feet stopped moving. 

Issei was sweating with Arturia looming right in front of him with an eerily calm aura. 

“It’s alright, Arturia, Issei doesn’t mean it. He and Rin are just rivals of sorts. And Issei,” Shirou turned to face his friend, “Arturia and I have been friends since middle school. We grew apart a bit in high school, but we’re still close as friends. We’re going to eat lunch together and catch up. Rin, Arturia’s best friend, is joining us.” 

“Ah, I see.” Issei stepped back and adjusted his glasses. 

“Go on ahead of me, Arturia. I’ll meet you guys soon.” Shirou smiled. 

Arturia returned the smile and exited the classroom. 

_“So you and that mongrel have been friends since middle school?”_ Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes. It’s a strange story, but we became friends.” Arturia said. “It’s nostalgic to think about the first time we spoke together. Kay was sick that day, so I didn’t have any lunch to bring to school. I wasn’t hungry anyway, so I was planning on just skipping lunch—“ 

_“Wait,_ you _were not hungry?!”_

“There were just a few years in middle school that I didn’t have much appetite. It went away when I was a second year student.” 

_“How old were you?”_

“That was around five years ago, so about twelve or thirteen.” 

_“Did it have something to do with your parents?”_

Arturia went silent for a few seconds. “Possibly. Anyway, I didn’t have food to eat that day. Shirou noticed it and offered his own lunch. I told him that I couldn’t just take his lunch from him, and that I wasn’t hungry. He told me he wasn’t hungry either, so we should just share. His cooking is really good, it was way better than the food Kay made. We ate together almost everyday that year.” 

_“Didn't eating with a guy like him cause a commotion among the students?”_

“Hm, not really. Back then I was really unpopular. The other students thought I was strange.” 

_“How the hell were you unpopular?!”_

“I wouldn’t know. I was just unpopular back then. For some reason, I started getting really popular the next year. Shirou was unpopular back then too. Or, more like unsociable. That was around the time his father died. I was really surprised he talked to me.” 

Now it made sense. They bonded over mutual pain. They licked each other's wounds and became close. ‘That mongrel Kay never mentioned anything like that. That means Arturia and the mongrel are closer than I thought.’ 

“Sadly, that was the last year Shirou and I were in the same class. Actually, I ended up in Rin’s class the next year. Third year of middle school was when we became friends. We ended up in the same class ever since, and Rin and I have become really close.” 

_“How did you become friends with the mongrelette? Your personalities seem mismatched.”_

Arturia began to climb up the stairs. “Not at all. We get along well even with our differences. That day was so bizarre. Rin, the most beautiful girl in school, walked up to my desk and said, ‘Arturia, let’s be friends!’ I really didn’t know how to react. She tried to invite me to go shopping with her, but I was busy. She kept trying to get me to go out until she suggested we get ramen at a really nice place in Miyama. I finally said yes since I really wanted to try the ramen from that place. It turns out that after that, she kept bribing me to go out with her using food. I feel like such a glutton. I’m not sure why I ended up becoming her best friend, since she must have had better friends than me at the time.” 

Finally, Arturia made it to the roof, where Rin was waiting. “Arturia, I bought you a coffee.” Rin said and handed her a canned coffee. 

Arturia leaned against the wall next to Rin, opened the can, and took a sip. “Thank you, Rin.” 

_“What does coffee taste like?”_ Gilgamesh asked, becoming curious. 

“Coffee? Well, it’s very bitter if you drink it black. You can make it sweeter with sugar and milk. I can buy some instant coffee when I go to the store later. Even a hopeless woman like me can make instant coffee.” Arturia smiled. 

“You know, you and your servant are very friendly.” Rin said. 

“Really?” Arturia asked. 

“Yeah. Both you and Shirou treat your servants like friends or roommates. That really isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Servants are meant to be tools, weapons used in the war. Me and Archer don’t do things like sit down for dinner together. I can understand Shirou treating his servant like a person since he’s naive, but you’re a real mage—and a badass warrior at that. I’m surprised you don’t keep a more professional relationship with Caster.” Rin said. 

“Well, he’s a guest in my home. I’m asking him to fight for me, I should at least treat him with hospitality. He’s friendly to me, so naturally I want to be friendly to him. Besides, he used to be a living human. Therefore, I should treat him with the same respect as a living   
human.” 

Shirou walked through the door of the roof. He waved hello at the girls. 

“You sure kept us waiting! How rude.” Rin said. 

“Sorry, Issei and the rest of the class practically interrogated me.” Shirou said. 

“I guess we can get started now that you’ve arrived, Shirou.” Rin turned to Arturia. “So, what did you need to tell us, Arturia?” She asked, as everyone sat down. 

“We fought Caster last night.” Arturia said. 

“ _We_ fought Caster?” Gilgamesh laughed as he began to materialize. “No, no, _you_ fought Caster while _I_ rushed to the temple to save your ass.” 

“Caster, you shouldn’t be revealing yourself while we’re at school.” Arturia said. 

“No one else is here. Anyway, you seem to want to stretch the truth a bit.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’m not trying to stretch the truth…” 

“Oh? So you were going to tell them honestly that you snuck off in the middle of the night to fight Caster without me?” 

“You what?!” Rin said to Arturia. Arturia was able to return nothing more than an embarrassed blush. 

“Arturia got angry at me for not wanting to fight Caster immediately, so, like the wonderful husband I am, I decided to compromise with her. I said that we could locate Caster’s hideout that day, and save the fighting for later when we have a strategy. Arturia acted like she was fine with this, but after I went to sleep, she took her sword and ran off to the temple where Caster resides. Then, after I felt her get injured, I rushed over to the temple to save her, only to watch her be thrown through the air and hit the floor so hard that she fell unconscious. I rescued her, took her home, and healed her.” Gilgamesh explained. 

“Arturia, why on earth would you—“ Rin began. 

“I felt too idle. I barely felt like an active participant in the war. Not only that, but Caster was also hurting innocent people. I thought I could defeat her, and I did defeat her. It was her master that caught me off guard.” Arturia looked up at Rin. “Caster’s master is Mr. Kuzuki.” 

“Mr. Kuzuki?!” Rin said. 

“Are you serious? That’s why he was absent today?” Shirou asked. 

Arturia nodded. “Not only is he Caster’s master, but he’s extremely proficient at combat. I wasn’t expecting such an enemy. He caught me by surprise. I don’t know if he could truly best my blade in a real fight, but he certainly still is a formidable foe. We also know that Caster’s base is Ryuudou Temple.” 

“Ryuudou Temple? I’ll ask Issei a few questions about this later.” Shirou said. “Enough about that, are you okay Arturia? Caster said you got hurt.” 

“I’m fine.” Arturia said. “Caster’s healing magic was very effective.” 

“I’m just glad he was able to save you in time. Arturia, you shouldn’t have snuck off on your own like that.” Rin said. 

“I understand.” Arturia said, head tilted down.

“You really could have died.” Shirou said. 

“I believe it would have ended worse than that. Caster said some concerning things after Arturia blacked-out.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Concerning things? Like what?” Arturia asked. 

“She said she’d become interested in you, and wanted to keep you as a pet. Of course, I am strongly opposed to this, since you belong to me and me alone. I wasn’t paying much attention to a lot of what Caster said, I was more concerned about your safety, but I could have sworn she said something about stealing your servant.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Stealing a servant?!” Rin jolted to her feet. “That shouldn’t be possible! A servant can’t take on another servant! Besides, that would mean she has the ability to nullify a servant pact!” 

“She is technically a mage, and she has plenty of mana to spare. It is a major violation of the rules, but she could take on a servant of her own.” Gilgamesh said. 

“We’ll have to be cautious around Caster.” Rin said. “If she manages to obtain command seals for one of our servants, they won’t have a choice as to whether or not they obey her.” 

“Do you understand why I said we should wait to attack Caster now, Arturia?” Gilgamesh turned and asked Arturia with a smile. 

“Can you give it a rest already?” Arturia asked. 

“He’s right, Arturia. It was a bad idea to fight Caster all alone. Besides, you shouldn’t be fighting so much. You’re a girl, you should let us protect you.” Shirou said. 

“My thoughts exactly. Arturia, you should lay down your sword and become my wife. I vow as king of the world to give you every pleasure known to man. I shall protect you and bring you the Grail as well.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin struck her fist against the palm of her hand. “I just figured out who he reminds me of! Caster is like a door-to-door salesman. No one ever wants them, and they never leave or give up!” 

“If that’s the case, maybe we should ask Sakura for help. She’s great at turning away door-to-door salesmen.” Shirou said. 

“Eh, really?” Rin said. She turned to Arturia. “Isn’t Caster like a door-to-door salesman, Arturia?” 

“He certainly is persistent, but his company isn’t entirely unwanted.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh was growing more irritated by the second. ‘I do not know what connotation door-to-door salesmen have, but nevertheless I feel insulted!’ 

“Anyway, we should eat before lunch ends. I brought bentos for everyone.” Shirou said, holding up the extra bentos. 

“Shirou!” Arturia gasped in excitement, accepting the bento. 

“Er, sorry Caster. I didn’t think to make a fourth bento.” Shirou said, realizing that one person had been left out. 

“He shouldn’t be materialized at school anyway. Plus, he doesn’t need food to survive.” Arturia said. 

“Says the girl who cooks for me everyday.” Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “I would dematerialize, but I am curious about the food contained in these so called bento boxes.” 

“If I give you some, will you dematerialize?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh nodded his head. 

“Fine. You can have my octopus sausages.” Arturia picked up a sausage from her bento with her chopsticks and fed it to Gilgamesh. 

“Arturia, you can’t do that! That’s an indirect—!” Shirou tried to yell before Rin clamped his mouth shut. 

Rin leaned into Shirou’s ear to whisper to him. “Idiot! Do you know how he’d react if he found out he just shared an indirect kiss with Arturia?! Are you trying to fuel his crazy behavior?!” 

“But does Arturia not know what an indirect kiss is? She fed him with her chopsticks so easily!” Shirou whispered. 

“From what I understand, she doesn’t read manga or watch anime. I think she’s a bit dense when it comes to things like this.” Rin said. 

“What are you two whispering about?” Arturia asked, already giving Gilgamesh the next sausage. 

“Nothing, Arturia. Just stay cute and ignorant forever.” Rin smiled. Arturia reacted with a confused face. 

Gilgamesh, however, was celebrating inside. He’d read an extraordinary amount of shoujo manga already and knew what an indirect kiss was. He was relishing in being fed by Arturia like a couple and sharing indirect kisses with her. 

“Alright, that’s all my sausages. Now dematerialize like you promised.” Arturia said. 

“Fine, fine.” Gilgamesh slowly turned into golden dust. 

The students finished off their bentos and went back to class. They decided to meet up after school ends. 

The school bell finally rang. “We have to do something about this boundary field at school. Let’s walk around and search for sigils.” Rin said. 

Turns out Shirou’s magic was good for something after all, because he was able to find sigils easily if Rin provided the general area in which they resided. 

Suddenly, a scream. 

Rin, Shirou, and Arturia ran towards the direction of the scream until they found a girl laying on the floor. 

“Oh thank god, she’s just unconscious.” Shirou said. 

“Can’t you see it? She’s been drained dry! Hold on, I can revive her with one of my gems.” Rin knelt on the floor next to the girl and held a gem over the girl’s chest. 

Suddenly, both Shirou and Arturia had a bad feeling from the woods. “Rin!” Shirou yelled and blocked an incoming chain with his arm. 

“Shirou...why did you...doesn’t it hurt?” Rin began

“It hurts more than I can say. But right now, I need a weapon.” Shirou said. 

Gilgamesh had already produced Arturia’s sword from his Gate of Babylon. Arturia ran in the direction of the woods. “Caster, stay back and protect Rin and Shirou! I’ll fight the servant!” She disappeared behind the trees in the woods. 

“I need a weapon! Caster, do you have a weapon?!” Shirou asked. 

“What? You realize you would be nothing but a hindrance in battle, right?” Gilgamesh said. 

“You don’t understand, I need to fight! I have to!” Shirou persisted. 

“I don’t have any swords or spears left in my Gate of Babylon.” 

“Anything will do!” 

Gilgamesh sighed. “Oh, well. I suppose I do not mind enabling your neurotic behavior.” Gilgamesh produced a shield from his Gate of Babylon. He threw it to Shirou. “Here. Grab a tree branch, strengthen it, and knock yourself out. If you get my wife hurt in battle, I’ll kill you.” 

Shirou was already running to the woods. “Thank you!” He called out.

Rin went back to healing the unconscious girl. “Caster, you aren’t going to fight?” She asked. 

“Arturia told me to stay here and keep you safe.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You say you love her, but you aren’t worried at all?” Rin asked. 

“I do love her. Arturia is a woman worthy of me, that is why I can trust in her strength.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin paused, taking in those words. “I understand. You really must trust her.” 

“If I thought her opponent was too dangerous, I wouldn’t let her go alone. That is how it was with Caster. However, there is a lot you can learn about a person through physical behavior. For a servant to rely on a surprise attack means they must lack physical strength.” 

The girl on the floor began to breathe normally again. “Let’s go check on Arturia and Shirou.” Rin said. 

Shirou was running through the woods. He finally found the source of the sound of clashing blades. He watched as Arturia battled Rider, pushing Rider back with every attack. “Amazing...she’s just a human, but she can stand up to a servant!” 

Arturia’s blade crashed against Rider's chain. 

“Are you truly just a human?” Rider said in astonishment at Arturia’s strength. 

Arturia answered with a powerful swing of her blade. 

Suddenly, Shirou ran into the battle and attempted to swing at the enemy. 

“Shirou! Stay back! I won’t let you get hurt!” Arturia yelled. 

“Oh? So you care about this boy?” Rider asked and yanked on the chain that was still lodged in Shirou’s arm, pulling him up into a tree. Shirou’s weapons clattered onto the ground. Rider dashed behind him and put the tip of her other chain to Shirou’s neck. 

“Shirou!” Arturia yelled. 

Rin and Gilgamesh finally arrived at the scene. “Things look like they’re getting bad.” Rin said. 

“I knew that boy would be nothing but a hindrance.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Then why did you give him something to fight with?” Rin asked. 

“I wanted to see if he really is that stupid. He is.” Gilgamesh said. He noticed Rin’s glare. “Do not worry, I will save your stupid friend.” Gilgamesh used his clairvoyance to check Rider’s stats, True Name, and master. His eyes went a little wide. “Tohsaka?” 

“What?” Rin asked. Gilgamesh was still staring straight at Rider. 

“Mongrelette, are you truly fighting against your own blood in this war?” Gilgamesh asked, now curious. 

“My own blood?” Rin slowly realized what he was talking about. 

“Tohsaka. Saku—“ 

“Don’t say it!” Rin pleaded. “Please, don't tell anyone.” 

Gilgamesh raised his eyebrow. “It is of little importance to me. I have been avoiding using my ability anyway. If it becomes important in battle, naturally I will use that name to its fullest advantage. Right now I only checked out of curiosity.”

Rin sighed in relief. ‘Does this guy have clairvoyance or something?!’ Rin thought. 

“Release him, Rider. This fight is between you and me!” Arturia yelled. 

Suddenly, Rider ran out of the way as a blast of magical energy surged in her direction. The beam of energy scorched right through Shirou’s side, destroying the flesh against his ribs. Shirou groaned in pain. Rider disappeared into the air, sensing that she couldn’t win this battle. 

Shirou fell to the ground and Arturia ran to his aid. “Shirou!” There was a large patch of seared flesh she could see through his torn shirt where Gilgamesh’s beam had scraped against him. “Shirou, are you okay?” 

“Yes, thank you.” Shirou said, trying to get up. 

“Shirou, stay down until we get bandages.” Arturia turned to Gilgamesh. “Caster, how dare you hurt my friend!” 

“I saved him. Rider was going to stab him through the neck.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You should have at least warned me before you shot him!” 

“Arturia, look, it’s okay. It’s already healing.” Shirou said, gesturing to his rapidly healing flesh. “Actually It’s healing a lot faster than it did last time, so I guess we’re lucky. It was probably the best option to save my life anyway.” 

“I know that! I know why he did it, it’s just that...we’re partners. We’re supposed to make important decisions like purposeful casualties together.” Arturia huffed slightly. 

“The real thing we should be focusing on is how stupid Shirou is.” Rin said. 

“Shirou, why on earth did you try to fight? I could have won if you’d stayed back like I’d asked.” Arturia asked. 

“Rider hurt an innocent girl. I had to fight.” Shirou said. “And I was worried about you, Arturia. You shouldn’t be fighting. Anyway I had a—“ Shirou turned to where the shield Gilgamesh had given him had fallen, but it wasn’t there. He looked over to Gilgamesh, who was giving him a glare that said ‘don’t tell.’ 

“Caster gave Shirou a shield, told him to strengthen a stick, and knock himself out.” Rin said. 

“You little snitch!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Caster!” Arturia yelled, fury evident in her tone. “Why did you encourage Shirou to fight?” 

“I was merely curious if the boy would actually throw himself into battle like an idiot—!” 

With a quick movement, the tip of Arturia’s blade rested against Gilgamesh’s throat. “Don’t ever put my friend in danger like that again.” She pulled her sword away and walked back to Shirou. “Shirou, how are you feeling.” 

“I’m fine, but is he okay?” Shirou asked, looking at Gilgamesh who was leaning against a tree gasping for breath with a bright red face. 

“Yeah, he just gets really turned on when I threaten him for some reason.” Arturia said. 

“That’s weird. That’s really weird. I always had a hunch he was an M, but liking it when a girl threatens you is just indescribably weird.” Rin said. 

“Let’s get going. I still have homework to do.” Arturia said. 

The trio went their separate way and Arturia and Gilgamesh returned to their home. 

“You shouldn’t be enabling Shirou’s self-sacrificial behavior.” Arturia said to Gilgamesh. 

“You realize that you run into danger just as readily as he does, yes?” Gilgamesh said. 

“Yes, but I at least have enough skill to hold my own in a fight. Shirou doesn’t. I trusted you to protect my friends and you allowed one of them to run off into danger.” 

“Alright, I understand. Next time I’ll chain him down and hold him back.” 

“That’s not what I said!” Arturia groaned and left to her room to do homework. 

On the way to school the next day, Arturia ran into Shinji Matou. 

“Arturia, It’s a fine day today, isn’t it?” Shinji asked. 

_“I don’t like this guy. He gives me a bad feeling.”_ Gilgamesh said in Arturia’s head. 

“What do you want, Shinji?” Arturia asked. 

“Oh, merely to talk to you. But first, how about we reveal our servants?” Shinji said, and Rider materialized next to him. 

Arturia’s stance shifted and she readied herself for battle. “Caster.” 

Gilgamesh materialized out of golden dust. “Another battle already, how troublesome.” 

“Not so fast there. I don’t intend to fight right now. Actually, I have a proposal for you.” Shinji said. 

“The only person allowed to propose to Arturia is me!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Caster, that isn’t what he meant.” Arturia said. 

“How about an alliance, Arturia? You are the master of Caster, and I am the master of Rider—“ 

“But you’re not.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Wha—what?! What the hell do you mean by that?!” Shinji yelled. 

“You are not the master of Rider.” Gilgamesh could clearly see that Shinji’s name was Shinji Matou, while Rider’s master’s name was Sakura Tohsaka. 

Arturia leaned over to Gilgamesh to whisper. “Look, I get that he’s pathetic, but at least try to be respectful.” She said. 

“But he literally is not her master! The names do not match!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Control your servant, Arturia.” Shinji demanded. 

“I can’t control him with anything other than my panties.” Arturia replied. 

“Arturia, there are some things in life that you do not need to share out loud.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Please take your own advice, Caster.” Arturia said. 

Shinji cleared his throat. “Your annoying servant aside, my proposal still stands. Let’s enter into an alliance together. I’m sure we can win with our combined strength.” 

“Shinji, while I appreciate the proposal, I must decline. I’ve already entered into an alliance with Rin and Shirou.” Arturia said. “Have a good day, Shinji.” She kept walking toward the school, leaving a fuming Shinji behind on the street. 

Arturia finally arrived at school and immediately went to Rin. “Let’s meet at the rooftop again.” Arturia said. 

At lunch, the trio met once again to talk. 

“Shinji proposed an alliance with me.” Arturia said. 

“Me too. He asked me before school.” Rin said. 

“He asked me yesterday.” Shirou also said. 

“Did anyone accept?” Arturia asked. 

Rin busted out laughing. “Of course not!” 

“I can’t condone Rider feeding off an innocent girl, so I declined.” Shirou said. 

“Looks like he struck out with all of us.” Arturia said. 

“I can’t even understand why he’s a master. The Matou’s haven’t had functioning magic circuits for ages.” Rin said. She understood to some degree. She now knew that Sakura was Rider’s master, and that the rights must have been given to Shinji, likely by a command seal. However, she couldn’t reveal something like that. 

“Is that why Rider has resorted to soul-eating already?” Arturia asked. 

“Yeah. Shinji isn’t able to supply Rider with mana. That’s why he has to have Rider eat souls. It’s likely he’s the master that set up the boundary field at school.” Rin said. Suddenly, the entire building shook. A heavy weight seemed to fill the air. 

“The boundary field, it’s activating!” Arturia exclaimed. 

“Weren’t we supposed to slow it down?!” Shirou said. 

“He must have come to school early to redraw the sigils.” Rin said. 

“Shit!” Shirou went running to the door of the roof. 

“Shirou! Don’t just charge in blindly!” Rin yelled. 

“Caster, my sword.” Arturia asked and Gilgamesh materialized and handed her her sword. “Come on, Rin!” Arturia said, rushing after Shirou. 

The girls found Shirou entering a classroom. Rin gasped in horror at the scene in front of her. The students were having the life drained out of them right in front of her. Shirou walked in calmly, checking on Sakura. Arturia couldn’t stop looking at the bodies. The image of bodies littering the floor brought to mind a memory of that hill. ‘These people...I’m failing them. I’m failing them all over again.’ Arturia felt Gilgamesh rest his hand on her shoulder, bringing her back from those memories. 

“I sense a servant on the next floor.” Gilgamesh said. “Do either of you mongrels have your servants?” 

Rin and Shirou shook their heads. “I can call Saber with a command seal.” Shirou said. 

“Don’t bother. Me and Caster can handle this.” Arturia said. “Can you two protect yourselves while Caster and I fight?” 

“I have my Gandr shot. It would be great if Caster could give Shirou a weapon to borrow.” Rin said. 

“Caster, do you have anything?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh opened his Gate of Babylon and reached inside, feeling around for some kind of weapon that Shirou could use. “I have a staff.” He pulled it out of his Gate of Babylon. 

“Is that solid gold?!” Rin yelled. 

“Of course.” Gilgamesh affirmed. 

“You...wouldn’t happen to have any gems in there, would you?” Rin asked. 

“Well, I had to give away thirty percent of my gems to Ishtar in order to bribe her, but I still have a good amount left.” Gilgamesh summoned a few rubies and sapphires from his Gate. 

Rin practically orgasmed when she saw the gems. 

“Stop fooling around, you two! We have to fight.” Arturia said. “Shirou, do you have any use for the golden staff Caster has?” 

“This’ll be perfect after some strengthening.” Shirou said. 

“Good. Wait here. Caster and I will be back soon.” Arturia grabbed Gilgamesh by the hand and began running toward the servant on the next floor. 

“Yay, we get to hold hands!” Gilgamesh celebrated, causing Arturia to let go of his hand. 

The master and servant came face to face with Rider and Shinji on the next floor. “Well, Arturia, it looks like we’ll be having a showdown between our servants.” 

“It appears so.” Arturia agreed. “However, your Rider won’t even be given the chance to face my servant. I shall be her opponent.” She pointed her sword in Rider’s direction. 

“Sweet girl, don’t you know that humans can’t stand up to servants?” Rider asked. 

“I am well aware of my status as a human, and I’m well aware that I am supposed to take a support role. However, fighting on the front lines is all I know.” Arturia charged at Rider and slashed her blade, which was blocked by Rider’s chains. She spun on her heel and attempted to slice Rider through the stomach. Rider jumped back to dodge. Rider threw her chains at Arturia, making them wrap around the girl’s arms. 

“Arturia!” Gilgamesh was about to free her before Arturia yelled at him to stop. 

“Don’t interfere!” Arturia yelled. 

“Silly girl, are you so prideful that you won’t even allow your servant to assist you?” Rider asked. 

“I value my comrades more than my life, I would never take them for granted; however, I need no one else to defeat you.” Arturia said. 

“I see. Then die.” Rider lunged toward her. 

Arturia took a deep breath in, her magic crest beginning to shine on her arms. She felt mana surge into her muscles and strengthen them. She grabbed the base of the chain with her free hand and yanked on it. Rider was pulled to the side and crashed against the wall. Arturia pulled on the chain again and Rider flew toward her. Arturia readied her sword and sliced Rider through the gut. Rider hit the floor with a thud, where she lay unmoving for a few seconds. Arturia let the chains fall to the floor. 

Arturia moved some hair out of her face. “Caster, finish her off. I’ll take care of Shinji.” Arturia said. 

Shinji’s face morphed into one of fear. He began to run in the other direction. Arturia concentrated mana into her feet and launched herself towards him, knocking him into a wall. 

Arturia pinned Shinji against the wall with her arm. “Release the boundary field, Shinji. Now, or I’ll simply cut Rider off from her master.” Arturia put the tip of her sword to Shinji’s neck. 

“Okay! Okay! Release the bloodfort, Rider!” Shinji yelled. 

The air around them cleared as the Bloodfort Andromeda disappeared. Mana was no longer being sucked from all around them. Arturia released Shinji and let him fall to the floor. 

“Rider, come to me! I have no intention of losing now!” Shinji said. Rider grabbed Shinji and guarded him at the end of the hallway. 

“Do not worry, master. No one can beat my noble phantasm.” Rider said, and slit her own throat. Blood spewed forth from the fatal wound, forming an eye in front of her. 

“Get down!” Gilgamesh yelled and tackled Arturia to the ground. 

There was the sudden flap of wings and what felt like an enormous amount of energy surging above them. Then, silence. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh sat up. To their right was a giant hole in the wall where Rider had made her escape. 

“Are they gone?” Arturia asked. 

“Yes. I no longer sense them in this school.” Gilgamesh said. “It seems Rider is the type of servant who is not very strong on her own, but has a very good noble phantasm.” 

“I see. Let’s go find Rin and Shirou.” Arturia said. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh found Rin and Shirou checking the safety of the students. 

“Their faces…” Arturia grimaced. Some of the students’ faces had melted off as a side effect of the bloodfort. 

“They’re alive. That’s what matters. You two did a good job.” Rin said, giving Arturia a pat on the shoulder. “By the way, who fought?” 

“I did. I defeated Rider. Sadly, she managed to get away.” Arturia said. 

“Eh, so you fought again? Wow...Caster’s been pretty useless in this war so far.” Rin said. 

“What?!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“You haven’t really done anything yet. I haven’t seen you fight at all. You’re barely the servant in your relationship with Arturia. She’s the one doing all the fighting.” 

“Have you forgotten that I rescued Arturia after she recklessly went out to fight Caster?!” Gilgamesh said. 

“I guess you did do that, but even so, you’re still pretty useless.” Rin crossed her arms. “I’m just saying.” 

Gilgamesh was quite literally seething, but Arturia put a calming hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Caster. I think of you as an irreplaceable source of moral support.” She said this with a smile and a thumbs up. 

“M-moral support…” Gilgamesh had just been reduced to the useless position of cheerleader. 

“I think our business is done for the day here. We should leave before police come and start to ask questions.” Arturia said. 

They all returned to their separate homes. Arturia went about making a meal for herself and Gilgamesh. 

“I tried to make pork and cabbage dumplings today. Tell me how I did.” Arturia said as she placed the plates on the table. She sat down and began to pick at her meal with her chopsticks. 

“You look a bit bothered. Is something wrong?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“We lost against Rider today.” Arturia said. 

“You slashed her through the gut. How did we lose?” 

“She escaped. We haven’t killed a single servant so far. She and Shinji are probably in the city right now planning their next attack.” Arturia’s chopsticks froze in her hand. “Alright. I’ve decided. Tomorrow we’ll go out into the city together and hunt them down.” Suddenly, the phone began to ring in Arturia’s room. “It must be Kay. Could you call Rin and Shirou and tell them about our plans on the home phone? Their numbers are in the address book next to the phone.” Arturia said, getting up and walking to her room. 

Gilgamesh sighed and walked to Arturia’s landline. He searched through the address book for Rin’s phone number. However, when he called, no one answered. ‘That’s strange. I hope they’ve been ambushed and killed. That would save me a lot of trouble.’ He then called Shirou’s phone number. 

“Hello?” The voice on the other end was Rin’s. 

“Mongrelette? Ah, I see. You two are sleeping together.” Gilgamesh’s deduced. 

“What?! No! I’ve been staying at Shirou’s place to teach him magic! Jeez, what the hell do you want?”

“Arturia said she and I are going into town tomorrow to hunt down that mongrel and Rider.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin snorted. “What, so you finally convinced her to go out on a date with you?” 

“What is a date?” 

“I was only kidding. It’s not a date.” 

“I know you were joking. Tell me what a date is. I feel like I have heard that word in mangas I have read.” 

“A date is like a romantic rendezvous between a man and a woman. But that information isn’t pertinent, because it isn’t a date.” 

“You mean Arturia just asked me to go on a romantic rendezvous with her?!” Gilgamesh asked in shock. 

“No! It isn’t a date.” 

“I’m going on a romantic rendezvous with Arturia?!” 

“Caster, listen to me! It isn’t a date!” 

“Can you not see that I am trying to ignore you?” Gilgamesh said and hung up. ‘I am going on a date with Arturia! What should I wear? Where should we go?’ Gilgamesh was as excited as a kid on Christmas. He was in an amazing mood the rest of the day, and in an even better mood the next morning. He kept fantasizing about all the things they’d do together on their date, using all the shoujo manga he’s read as a guide. He even fantasized about what their sex would be like. He was just in general extremely ecstatic. 

That was, until twelve thirty. 

There was a knock on the door, and Gilgamesh answered it. 

Shirou and Saber stood outside on Arturia’s front porch. “Hi.” Shirou waved. 

Gilgamesh slammed the door in their faces. 

Arturia came into the room upon hearing the noise. “Caster, who was at the door?” 

“No one.” Gilgamesh said. 

There was more knocking. “Arturia-sama? Are you there?” Saber yelled through the door. 

“So it isn’t Shirou and Saber, who said they’d meet me at my house at twelve thirty?” Arturia asked. 

“Nope.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Hey, Arturia! We’re here!” Shirou yelled along with Saber. 

“Move aside, Caster. I have to let them in.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh crossed his arms in anger. “No.” 

“What?” 

“I said no! This was supposed to be our date! Why do you want to ruin it by inviting other mongrels?!” 

“Caster, this isn’t a date. We’re going to defeat Rider. That’s why Shirou and Saber are here. They’re going to help us.” Arturia pushed past Gilgamesh and opened the door. 

“I’m sorry, Shirou, Saber. Caster was under a misunderstanding that we’d be going alone today.” Arturia said. 

“It’s alright. We all make mistakes.” Saber said. 

Gilgamesh was still pouting with his arms crossed. ‘Bastards...ruining my date with Arturia…’ 

“Let’s get going.” Arturia said. 

They all began walking into town. They first headed to the Matou residence, where they learned that Shinji wasn’t at home. They walked to the city, covering as much ground as possible. 

“Can’t they sense us?” Arturia asked. 

“They are of the Rider class, so they likely cannot sense that far. Probably about the same radius as me. I haven’t sensed them at all yet. Caster, have you felt anything?” Saber asked. 

Gilgamesh shook his head. “Either they are concealing their presence, or they simply are too far.” 

“Then maybe we should lure them out. If we split up, we can cover more ground, and Rider is more likely to fight us if we’re alone.” Arturia said. 

“Alright. Let’s split up, then.” Shirou agreed. 

Gilgamesh then realized that splitting up meant that he would be alone with Arturia. “I agree with this plan!” He said. 

“Then, Arturia-sama, would you like to accompany me?” Saber asked. 

“What?!” Said Gilgamesh. 

“We’re splitting up. I was thinking we could choose teams of two.” 

“Obviously I will stay with Arturia. I am her husband!” 

“Both of you, be quiet. I think each master should stay with their servant since they’ll have access to command seals in case of emergency. That means, as nice as it would be to walk around with you, Saber, I’ll stay with Caster.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh adopted a smug look to his face. 

“Ah, damn. Well, I can’t argue with your reasoning. Come on, Shirou. I guess we’ll take north.” Saber said as he grabbed Shirou’s hand. 

“See you soon, Arturia.” Shirou said before leaving. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh were soon left alone. Gilgamesh grabbed Arturia’s hand. “Onwards toward our date!” 

“Caster, this isn’t a date.” Arturia said, pulling away her hand. 

“Of course it is and—look! That is a crepe stand! I have seen them in manga. Let us go enjoy a crepe, Arturia!” 

“Caster, get back here!” Arturia watched Gilgamesh walk to the crepe stand without a care in the world. Arturia sighed and followed him. She took her place next to Gilgamesh while he scrutinized the shop’s menu. “Just be quick, alright?” 

“I am not sure which to choose...what will you get, Arturia?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I’m not getting anything. We aren’t here to play around, Caster.” 

“In that case, I will choose for both of us.” Gilgamesh said and ordered two crepes. They watched the worker make the crepes in front of them and deliver it to them fresh and warm. “Here.” Gilgamesh had gotten her a strawberry cheesecake crepe. For himself, he got a chocolate crepe with whipped cream. “These are the two bestsellers on the menu.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia’s resistance waned every second her eyes gazed at that delectable crepe. “I didn’t bring any money, Caster.” Arturia confessed. 

“I brought some with me. I obviously was not going to make you pay for our first date.” Gilgamesh said and held the crepe out for her to take. 

Arturia finally snatched the crepe and began to munch, no longer able to resist the sweet scent. 

Gilgamesh laughed. He then took a bite of his own crepe, and paused in surprise at how good it tasted. “It is not bad at all for mongrel street food.” 

Arturia looked back up at him. “Do you want to try mine? You haven’t tasted cheesecake yet, right?” She held her crepe up to his mouth and he took a bite. 

Gilgamesh chewed for a few seconds. “Yes, this is also good.” He grabbed Arturia’s hand. “Let us find a place to sit and eat.” 

They found a nearby park bench, where they took to eating their crepes. “I feel guilty. Shirou and Saber are probably looking diligently for Rider while we’re eating crepes.” Arturia said. 

“You have been working hard for this war. I am sure they would not mind if you ate a crepe and rested for a few minutes.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia guiltily finished her crepe. “I’m finished. How about you?” 

“You can have the rest of mine, if you would like.” Gilgamesh handed her the rest of his crepe. 

“I thought you said you liked it?” 

“Too much of anything is sickening. In this case, too much of something sweet is heavy on the tongue. I despise excess.” 

“I see.” Arturia began to eat the rest of Gilgamesh’s crepe. “Personally, I think a surplus is far more preferable to a deficiency.” 

“You think so?” 

Arturia nodded her head. “Having too much crop one year is far better than not having enough food to feed your country. Having an excess is better than lacking something.” 

“Excesses breed waste.” 

“Yes, but with excesses comes fortunate citizens.” 

“Those fortunate citizens become complacent and greedy.” 

“That may be so, but it’s peaceful, and I think that’s what matters.” Arturia finally finished Gilgamesh’s crepe. “Let’s keep walking. We can’t let Shirou and Saber do all the work.” She stood from her seat. 

They continued walking down the streets of the city. At some point, Gilgamesh paused upon hearing some strange yelping noises. “What is that sound?” 

“It looks like that pet shop is holding puppies up for adoption.” Arturia pointed out. 

Gilgamesh became curious and walked in. 

“Caster, wait! We’re supposed to be looking for Rider!” Arturia reluctantly followed Gilgamesh inside. 

There were five puppies and one adult dog in a playpen in the center of the store. Gilgamesh knelt down beside it and looked inside. 

“It looks like this dog recently gave birth. That must be why these puppies are up for adoption.” Arturia commented. 

“That dog could not possibly have just given birth, it is only a child.” 

“That’s an adult. It looks like this is a mini breed.” 

“That’s an adult?!” Gilgamesh lightly petted the mother dog on the head. “For such a small dog to give birth, that is rather impressive.” 

Arturia checked the label on the pen of dogs. “It looks like these are schnauzer-poodle mixes. So, Caster, what’s it like being faced with an actual mongrel? Is it worthy?” 

“Oh I would not possibly know something like that.” Gilgamesh said, and picked up one of the puppies. 

Arturia looked at him with confusion. 

“I am only good at judging gods, men, and alcohol. Animals are far outside my realm of expertise.” Gilgamesh elaborated. 

“I see…so you aren’t as strict with animals?”

“Not at all. I am rather fond of animals, I had my own pet lion in my youth. Animals aren’t nearly as entertaining as humans, but they are good companions.” 

“You had a pet lion?!” Arturia asked in astonishment. 

“Yes. I raised him from a cub.” 

“I’ve always been fond of animals like lions and panthers. In my last life, I raised a little lion cub for a few months. I wished I could have watched him grow.” 

Gilgamesh thought for a moment. “You know, you remind me a bit of a proud lioness.” 

“I find myself identifying with lions quite a bit.” 

“Then I should call you my lovely lioness!” 

“Great. If we’re using animal based nicknames, then I’ll call you my annoying snake.” Arturia said with a sarcastic smile. 

Gilgamesh looked into the distance. “Let’s wait until we figure out a better nickname for me.” He held the puppy up to look at it better. “A small dog like this...I don’t know if I see the appeal—“ The puppy licked Gilgamesh on the nose. He went silent. 

“Caster?” Arturia asked. 

“We’re taking him home with us.” Gilgamesh whispered. 

“What?” 

“I said he’s coming home with us!” 

“What?!” 

“So tiny and cute…I want to keep him…” 

“Caster, put the dog down. We aren’t adopting a puppy.” 

“He is mine! He loves me and I love him!” 

“First of all, that dog is female. Second of all, she’s a puppy, she shows affection to everyone. Put her down, you’re making a scene!” 

“I will name her Enkidu, and someday she shall inherit this world!” 

“You talk like she’s a baby! She’s a dog, for crying out loud!” 

“Shut your mouth! Do not listen to her, Enkidu, you are my child.” Gilgamesh said to the dog in his arms, who barked in response. 

“Caster, I’m leaving. Put the dog back or I’m leaving without you. You have thirty seconds to say your goodbyes!” Arturia exited the store and began to wait outside the door. 

Gilgamesh walked to the owner of the store and handed him the puppy. “Keep this dog for me, and for every day I am gone, double her price. I will be back for her someday.” He told the store owner. Then he looked at the dog he’d fallen in love with. “I will be back for you, Enkidu, I promise.” 

“Caster!” Arturia yelled into the store. 

“Fine! I am coming!” Gilgamesh hurried to the entrance to meet Arturia. 

They continued walking down the streets. Gilgamesh had his arms crossed over his chest with a pout on his face. 

“Are you still angry at me?” Arturia asked. 

“Yes.” Gilgamesh said, refusing to look at her. 

“Look, right now we don’t have the time to take care of a puppy. We’re in the middle of a war. We both might die. If we adopted a puppy now, what would happen to her if we died? She’d starve! Look, if times were peaceful and you said you’d take full responsibility for her, then I might have said yes; but, right now, we just can’t adopt one.” 

“I know, but I am still angry at you.” Gilgamesh huffed. 

‘This man is just like a child…’ Arturia thought wearily. “Can I do something to make you forgive me?” 

“Well...we just passed up a lingerie store…” 

“No!”

“Fine. Then how about we hold hands?” 

Arturia’s expression turned a bit shy. “Look, Caster, Japan is a very hands-off country. Showing affection in public is a really big deal. Even things like pet names are a huge deal in Japan, and usually aren’t used until marriage. Holding hands would be...I’ll think about it, okay? Maybe when there’s less people on the street.” She said. 

With that, Gilgamesh’s mood was sufficiently appeased. ‘My wife is so shy.’ He thought with a sigh. 

They walked a little farther in silence. 

“I’ve been having some strange dreams about you lately.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh looked to her in curiosity. “I apologize if I have been showing you something as dreadfully boring as my immortality quest.” 

“No, I haven’t seen that yet. I saw you before you met Enkidu.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh raised his eyebrows. “Well, what did you think?” 

“You did such horrible things, and you mistreated your people. But I couldn’t be mad at you, because everything you did felt hollow and empty. Instead of being angry, I felt sad. You seemed lonely.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh wore an unreadable expression for a few seconds until his face morphed into a smile. “I will be the first to admit that I was lonely before Enkidu. I had no one who stood as my equal, no one to say ‘no’ to me when I did something bad. I do not think I had ever felt real love back then. Enkidu came into my life and gave me everything I needed. When you think about it, I was only with them for a few years. Even so, they meant the world to me. There is something special about non-familial love. Two people coming together out of shared interest and staying together with no obligation to do so whatsoever; there is something special about it.” 

“I think so too. I value friendship and camaraderie a great deal.” Arturia smiled. Gilgamesh would truly make for a wonderful friend and ally. Suddenly Arturia grimaced. “Caster, I’m getting a bad feeling. I haven’t seen anyone on the streets for a while.” 

“You have a good instinct. I was beginning to think the same thing.” His axe materialized in his hand and he deflected an incoming chain. 

Rider was perched on the side of a building. She pulled back her chains. “For a Caster, you don't have very good presence detection.” 

“I was not much of a proper mage in my lifetime.” Gilgamesh said. 

“She’s on a building, I can’t get to her as easily.” Arturia said. 

“Leave Rider to me. Go find and kill her master.” 

Arturia nodded and ran off in search of Shinji. She looked in various hiding spots near the building, trying to find that useless master of Rider. Finally, she found him hiding behind a building. He screamed a bit as she pinned him to the wall. She grabbed his hands and was shocked to find them completely bare. She stepped back, releasing Shinji. “Shinji, strip.” She commanded. 

“What…?” Shinji asked. 

“I said strip.” 

“While our servants are fighting…?” 

“Yes.” 

“And in public? I didn’t realize you were into that…” 

“Shinji!” 

“Okay, okay.” He began by unzipping and removing his jacket, then taking off his shirt. 

“Just the top is fine.” 

“How are we going to do it with just the top off? And why aren’t you stripping—“ Shinji was cut off when Arturia began a thorough inspection of his body. 

“I can’t believe it—there’s no command seals!” Arturia said, astonished. “Is this what Caster meant? That you aren’t really Rider’s master?” 

“I am Rider’s master!” 

“I was planning on sparing you and just cutting off your hand, but it seems that’s no longer necessary. I have no use for you, Shinji, it won’t even aid me in battle to kill you. Shinji, in every way I can think of, you’re entirely useless.” 

“Use...less…?” 

“Goodbye, Shinji.” Arturia said, and ran back to the building where Rider and Gilgamesh were fighting. 

“Arturia-sama!” Saber yelled. Shirou ran close behind him. 

“Saber, Shirou!” 

“I felt an incredible amount of mana being used!” Saber said. 

“Caster is just guzzling my mana. I have plenty to spare so there’s no reason to worry.” Arturia said. They looked up to see beams of light flying from the roof into the sky. 

“Let’s go help him.” Saber said. 

Arturia nodded her head and led them all up the stairs to the top of the building. They heard a loud noise. Arturia pushed past the door to the roof. Rider was soaring above the rooftop on a Pegasus. 

“Is that her noble phantasm?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh nodded. “We will need a noble phantasm of A+ or higher to beat her now.” 

“I can do it.” Saber said. He moved to the middle of the roof and pulled out his sword, starting to charge it up. 

“Saber, don’t you have to save your mana for Berserker?” Shirou asked. 

“He does. I’ll help.” Arturia approached Saber, who had his sword ready. 

“Arturia-sama?” Saber asked. 

“It is an imitation, but I believe an imitation can have as much merit as the real thing.” She wrapped her hands around Saber’s, making mana flow through the sword. Saber looked down in surprise. “I’ll supply the mana. Just focus on using your noble phantasm.” Arturia smiled. Rider began flying towards then at a deadly speed. 

“Arturia-sama…” Saber finally smiled back. “On the count of three, then. One, two, three!” 

“EX—CALIBUR!” Saber and Arturia yelled at the same time and swung down the sword. 

Rider was enveloped in a white light, and was reduced to nothing. 

The roof was filled with silence...until—“WOOHOO THAT WAS SO COOL!” Saber screamed and began running around the roof, only to trip and fall, and then began to roll around on the floor. “Arthur-sama! AHHHHH!” 

Shirou and Arturia smiled at Saber’s fanboy antics. 

“Honestly, touching another man’s hands…” Gilgamesh said to Arturia, shaking his head with a smile on his face. 

Arturia then noticed that Gilgamesh had slash marks on the sides of his arms and his abdomen. He must’ve had quite a battle as well before she came with Saber and Shirou. “You did well today, Caster.” Arturia said. 

“Hm, do I get a reward?” Gilgamesh asked. Rain began to sprinkle down upon them. 

“Well...only for today...I’ll hold your hand on the way back home.” Arturia said rather shyly. This surprised Gilgamesh and almost made him blush. 

“Aw, look, they’re having a moment.” Saber joked, who had recently finished fanboying. 

“Don’t tease them, Saber.” Shirou said. 

The four of them descended down the stairs and the pairs split up. “I have to get some groceries tonight.” Shirou explained. 

Arturia and Gilgamesh went on their way home. Arturia grabbed Gilgamesh’s hand, making due on her promise. He smiled smugly. 

The sprinkles of rain became heavier until it began to pour. It was then Gilgamesh noticed something with Arturia’s clothing. He immediately pulled a fine tunic out from his Gate of Babylon. “Here. Your bra is showing through your wet shirt. Cover yourself quickly.” He explained to Arturia. 

Arturia accepted the tunic and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Thank you.” She said, feeling the warmth of the tunic around her. She once again took Gilgamesh’s hand. 

“Shall I carry you there so we can get out of the rain quicker?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Arturia could feel the warmth of Gilgamesh’s hand in her own. She squeezed it lightly. “I think I’d like to stay like this for a while.” She said. They began to walk back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter finished! As sad as I am to do this, Master Arturia is going on a short hiatus until I finish my other fanfic Marriage in Sumer. I promised I’d get back to it when school ended and I make due on my promises! Also I reread it a few days ago and it was super cute and now I’m all hyped to work on it again. I think a break was definitely what I needed. Expect the next chapter of that to be in the next week. 
> 
> Here’s a hint for the next chapter: Arturia got soaking wet and decided to stay in the rain for a while. That’s the hint. Next chapter is purely a fluff comedy chapter, so hopefully it’ll be a fun read! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Gilgamesh heard the alarm ringing from Arturia’s room. He waited for several minutes, but it wasn’t turned off. He finally got up to see what was taking Arturia so long. He entered her room to find her on the bed panting with a flushed face. He paused in slight shock when she turned her head to look at him through half-lidded eyes. Could it be…?

Then, she sneezed. 

‘Damnit. She is just sick.’ Gilgamesh thought bitterly. On second thought, she was rather pale. He approached Arturia to check her condition, putting his hand on her forehead. 

“Father, why are you still home? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Arturia asked. 

‘Father? Is Arturia mistaking me for her father?’ Gilgamesh wondered and removed his hand from her forehead. “Arturia, I am not your father.” He said. 

Arturia suddenly looked deeply sad. “Yes, I know, Ector. I’m not supposed to call you my father.” 

“Wait, what?! No! I did not mean that! I mean, yes, you cannot call _me_ your father, but you can keep calling your father father!” 

“Father, why are you still in your pajamas? Shouldn’t you be going to work soon?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh was bewildered with what to say. Arturia hadn’t laid new clothes out for Gilgamesh, so he couldn’t change. 

Then, the phone rang. 

Gilgamesh grabbed the cellphone on Arturia’s desk and answered it. 

_“Hey, Arty!”_ Kay said. 

“It is not Arturia, it is me.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“Caster? Is something wrong with Arty?”_

“It seems she has a fever. She keeps calling me ‘father’.” 

_“Father? Maybe she does have a daddy kink.”_

“Father, who are you talking to? You need to get ready for work.” Arturia said from the bed. 

“There is no work today, Arturia.” Gilgamesh replied. 

Arturia seemed dissatisfied to an almost annoyed degree at this answer. “But you must go to work! You can’t just laze around the house all day in your pajamas!” 

The passionate answer took Gilgamesh by surprise. Arturia must have been a difficult child to raise. “I cannot change my clothes since you did not give me anything to change into.” Gilgamesh explained. 

“No! No being lazy, father! You have to go to work, just like I have to go to school!” Arturia yelled. 

“There will certainly be no school for you today, Arturia. Not with a fever of that grade.” 

Arturia seemed to accept this, possibly because her legs felt like lead. “I don’t want you to stay home just for my sake...please go to work, father.” She said. 

Gilgamesh suddenly felt bad for Arturia, but still didn’t know how to solve the situation. 

_“Caster? If you need clothes, you can borrow some of mine. My old clothes are still in my room.”_ Kay said. 

Gilgamesh decided that he’d at least change out of pajamas for Arturia’s sake. “Alright, mongrel. I’ll take you up on that offer. I’ll be right back, Arturia.” He said and walked to Kay’s room. 

Once in Kay’s room, Gilgamesh perused the old closet looking for clothing. What he found was clothing that was much flashier than what he’d been wearing previous to this. However, he didn’t mind at all. He actually rather preferred these flashy clothes to the plain ones Arturia had been dressing him in. 

_“Find anything you like?_ ” Kay asked. 

“I much prefer your fashion sense to your father’s.” Gilgamesh said, ripping several items off their hooks and placing them on the bed to try on. 

_“Hey Caster, can I ask you something?”_

“I suppose I can allow a question.” 

“Why did you fall in love with my sister?” 

Gilgamesh didn’t have a single breath of hesitation when he spoke. “The first thing I noticed about Arturia was her wish and her true identity. She was a woman bound by her own ideals seeking a beautiful dream that was out of her reach. That was the first thing that made me propose to her.” 

_“So you approve of her wish?”_

“I wouldn’t quite say I ‘approve’ of her wish. I simply find it to be beautiful. Frankly, the wish itself is rather stupid. It’s idealistic and naive. Perfection is unattainable for humans. And yet, she strives for it with all her heart. There is something ethereal about a woman like that. She manages to be divine, yet still holds the beautiful qualities of a human.” Gilgamesh said this with satisfaction written all over his face. 

_“She sought to protect the life of the citizens of her country, a life she never even got the chance to know. Isn’t that a bit creepy?”_

“Perhaps to a lesser man, it would be. She is the sun, warm and nourishing, but one must not forget that the sun is still a star—a burning, blazing inferno. Her light may be too strong for some. I, however, am a man worthy of such a beautiful woman. I have no fear of her.” 

_“Wow...I have to admit, I’m a little impressed. To be honest, nothing sends chills down my spine quite like Arty’s obsession with her wish. It’s just so unnerving to me.”_

“You simply aren’t strong enough to handle her.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“I suppose so.”_ Kay laughed. It died down after a few seconds. _“What exactly do you want from my sister when you say you want to marry her?”_

“I wish for her to lay down her sword and become my wife. I want to give her all the love she did not receive as king, and to show her the pleasures of life.” 

_“Okay, but what would that look like? Give me something concrete. What do you desire to see from Arturia?”_

Gilgamesh paused for a short while to think. “What I desire to see...perhaps I would like for her to look at me and say ‘I am happy.’ She never attained true happiness in her lifetime. I am not entirely sure—I merely wish to see her fully embrace the pleasures and love that I give her with her entire heart.” 

_“So you want her to stop being a king? One of the reasons she isn’t happy is because she’s so obsessed with her duty as a king.”_

“Yes, I wish for her to lay her sword down. I want to have her as my wife.” 

_“So you want her...to live as a normal girl?”_

“I suppose one could say that. However, I do not know how normal one could consider being a wife to a king.” 

_“I see. But you realize how hard that’s going to be, right? Do you even understand how deep Arty’s obsession with the Holy Grail is? She was willing to fight our parents for it! She’d kill her friends if she had to.”_

“Impossible. Arturia told me that she would never forgive me if I laid a hand on that mongrelette best friend of hers.” 

_“You’re misunderstanding. She would never in a million years let you kill Rin of Shirou.”_

“Exactly. She would not have those two killed...” 

_“No, she wouldn’t have them killed. If she needed them dead, she’d kill them herself, by her own hand and her own sword. She’d feel like it would be the least she could do to respect them as her companions.”_

Gilgamesh hadn’t thought of Arturia that way. Of all the people in the world, Kay would know her best. He doubted Kay would be wrong about this. 

_“It’s not just her friends—my parents, me, everyone she’s ever loved. If it was for that wish of hers, if it was to save her country, she’d let us go in an instant. She’d weep and lie sleepless at night, and say that it was her duty as king to suffer the pain of losing her loved ones in order to save Britain—to save people she didn’t even know. I don’t know how much she’d need to love someone to choose them over her wish. Listen, Caster, do you consider yourself an exception to that rule?”_

Gilgamesh was silent. 

_“Good. At least you aren’t dumb. Now, knowing the nature of Arturia’s obsession, do you still think you can win her heart? Do you still think you can convince her to give up her wish and become a normal girl?”_

Gilgamesh was at a loss for what to say. “Even if my love is impossible, even if it was never meant to be, I will not give up. It does not matter whether or not I can do it, I will never give up on my love for her.” 

Kay paused for a long while. _“Alright. I've decided I’ll root for you. I’ve always thought that the reason I could never get through to Arty is because of how repulsed I am by her wish. Maybe it’ll be different with you. If you really could make Arturia happy as a normal girl...I’d be really grateful to you as her big brother. I’ve been taking care of Arty ever since our parents died.”_

“Yes, I know. She told me your cooking was terrible.” 

Kay laughed. _“Yeah, it was. I’m not a proper chef. I just cooked so that Arty could eat. I wanted her to at least have a hot meal everyday.”_

“At least you were a decent brother for a while, despite the traumatizing childhood years you gave her.” 

_“Yeah, I ended up changing in a big way when our parents died. There was one day that I realized I needed to take care of her.”_

“What was it?” 

_“It was right after we learned our parents died. I was too busy sobbing my eyes out to properly react, but I just remember watching her through teary eyes, completely calm, ask Merlin, ‘Will we still be able to live in our house? When will we have access to our parent’s wills?’ I was stunned! It was like she didn’t even care that our parents had just died! But I knew better. I could somewhat see through that exterior of hers. I knew she cared, she just sealed all those emotions inside of herself with practiced ease! I decided then and there that I needed to take care of her, because if I left her alone like this, with all her rigid feelings, she would break. In hindsight, she was probably acting strong for me, wanting to make sure we were financially secure. For the sake of the people around her, she never let herself grieve. That girl has never once thought of herself.”_

“I hope to someday relieve her of that pain and responsibility. I, especially, know what it is to grieve. I do not wish to see her in that pain. Whether it be the pain of grief or the pain of kingship, I wish to free her from her duties.” 

There was silence for a minute. _“Hey, do you want to know a secret?”_

Gilgamesh raised a brow. “Go ahead.” 

_“I had some dreams like Arty. I saw a life completely different from my own set way back in the past. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t dismiss Arty’s wild stories outright. I still remember being Arty’s big brother back then. I remember that before all this king nonsense, when we’d go to town, Arty was just like any other normal girl. She’d been a future king since birth, but in town, she was a normal kid. Watching her turn into a perfect king was really sad.”_

“So far, I have not seen anything from before she was king.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“Those memories are probably locked up real tight. Maybe you’ll see them someday.”_

“Perhaps.” Gilgamesh finished pulling on his pants. He was wearing a tight, silky blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing a checker pattern underneath. His pants were skinny and white. He wore jewelry all over his body for style. “Well, I am finished dressing. Now I need to figure out how to take care of Arturia.” 

_“I can help. I’m Arty’s big brother, after all.”_

“That’s wonderful, mongrel. Now, tell me what I should do first.” 

There was a pause. _“There’s a thermometer in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You should get that to check her temperature.”_

Gilgamesh did as told and retrieved the thermometer, then headed to Arturia’s room. 

Once there, Arturia’s eyes immediately widened. “Kay…? Have you come to take care of me?” She asked. 

‘Kay? She thinks I’m her brother now?’ Then, it clicked. “Oh, I see. She is mistaking me because of the clothes I am wearing.” 

_“Wow, really? I wonder what her temperature is.”_

Gilgamesh had Arturia open her mouth so he could put in the thermometer. It finally beeped from under her tongue and he pulled it out to check the temperature. “It says one hundred and four degrees.” 

_“Oh shit, really?! It’s that high? No wonder she’s hallucinating! You’re totally fucked!”_ Kay said. 

“Shut up, mongrel. What do I do next?” 

_“I have no idea.”_

“What?!” 

_“Yeah, I just wanted to keep you on the phone longer to hear your silky voice~”_

“You’re useless, mongrel!” Gilgamesh hung up the phone. 

“Kay, can you give me the lion carving you made? I want to dream of a strong lion.” Arturia said. 

“Lion carving?” 

“It’s over there on my dresser.” Arturia pointed to her dresser. 

Gilgamesh walked over and picked up the “lion” carving. “This is not a lion. This is a cross between an ill cat and a dog.” 

“It’s a lion. You made it for me.” 

“Stop calling it a lion. It’s an insult to lions everywhere.” 

“Kay, stop being so mean! I want the lion!” 

Gilgamesh sighed and brought her the carving, which she put on her nightstand. 

“Thank you. I’m sure I’ll have good dreams with this.” Arturia smiled. 

Arturia’s fever-flushed face smiling sweetly at him...it was actually rather adorable. Maybe taking care of her wouldn’t be so bad. “I wish you were still able to cook for me in this state…” Gilgamesh said aloud. As terrible as Arturia’s cooking was, he enjoyed the act of sitting down for a meal with her. 

“Cooking? Why? Are we going to play house? I love playing house! I can be the mommy and you’ll be the daddy! We’ll make lots of babies together!” Arturia said. 

“You want to have babies with me?” Gilgamesh asked, stunned. 

“Of course! Babies are so cute and small, I’d love to have one with my husband!” 

The word husband was like a trigger in his brain. He immediately went into ‘lovey-dovey’ mode. “You want babies? I can give you babies! Move over, I will give you babies right now!” 

Then, the doorbell rang. 

“Ding-Dong.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh wanted to just ignore it. 

“Ding-Dong.” Arturia repeated. 

The doorbell rang again. 

“Ding-Dong.” Arturia said once more. 

“For fuck’s sake, FINE.” Gilgamesh marched to the door and threw it open. “What do you want?! I was about to make babies with my wife!” 

Rin and Archer stood in the doorway in shock. Rin suddenly tried to run past Gilgamesh into the house. However, Gilgamesh’s body blocked her. “Arturia?! Arturia?! Are you okay?! Does he have you tied up somewhere against your will?” Rin screamed. “Oh no, she’s not answering! Arturia, are you gagged?! Make as much noise as possible if you can hear me! There’s no noise...Oh god, she must be drugged! Arturia!” She turned her head to Gilgamesh. “You fiend! What have you done?!” 

“Nothing!” Gilgamesh raised his arms in innocence. “She is not answering because she is sick in bed with a fever, and you are disturbing her right now!” 

“A fever?” Rin started to calm down. “Prove it! Take me to see her.” 

Gilgamesh sighed and let Rin and Archer inside. He opened Arturia’s door and gestured to the sick girl in bed. Rin walked in and placed her hand on Arturia’s forehead. 

“Wow, she really is sick.” Rin said, retracting her hand. “What’s her temperature?” 

“One-hundred and four.” Gilgamesh answered. 

“That high?! Jeez! What did you two do yesterday to make her so sick?!” 

Gilgamesh thought back to the day before. “Well, we fought Rider with the mongrel and his servant, then we walked back to Arturia’s home.” 

“Walked back? As in, during yesterday’s downpour? Did you have an umbrella?” 

“Umbrella? No, we did not have one.” 

“You walked all the way from the shopping district to this neighborhood in heavy rainfall with no umbrella?! It’s no wonder she’s sick!” Rin said. “Are you stupid?! Do you not care about your master’s health?” 

“Does...being in rain make you sick?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes! Obviously, you incompetent piece of golden fuzz! You’re not supposed to let your internal body temperature get too low or else you’ll catch a cold! She must have gotten infected while in the shopping district and the cold weather helped the virus take root.” Rin pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I did not know! It rarely rained in Uruk! And the climate was very warm! How was I supposed to know?!” 

“You fool! You ignorant manwhore! Were you too busy fucking virgins that you didn’t bother to pay attention to your city’s scholars?!” Rin said. 

“First of all, yes, I was. Second of all, this is not my fault!” 

“May I ask, were you planning on taking care of Arturia, Caster?” Archer asked from behind Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh turned to face him. “Yes, I was. And it was going well until you two came and disturbed us.” 

“Really? Weren’t you about to ‘make babies’ with her? You seriously weren’t planning on taking advantage of Arturia while she’s sick, right?” Rin asked. 

Gilgamesh cleared his throat. “It was merely...a misunderstanding.” 

“Kay and I were going to play house.” Arturia said. 

“Kay?” Rin said, confused. 

“She seems to be mistaking me based on the clothes I am wearing. First she thought I was her father in my pajamas, now she thinks I am her brother.” Gilgamesh said. 

“It's so strange. For once, Arturia’s the delusional one out of you two.” Rin said. 

“I have never been delusional!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Well, Caster, I’d like to know how you were planning on taking care of Arturia.” Archer said with a smug grin. 

Gilgamesh tried to remain impassive, but in reality, he had no idea what to say. “I was...going to…” 

“Move over, Goldilocks! We’ll take care of this!” Rin said, pushing Gilgamesh aside and walking to the kitchen. 

Archer chuckled at Gilgamesh’s irritated face. Gilgamesh glared back. 

Rin, Archer, and Gilgamesh went to the kitchen, where Rin began taking out cooking ingredients and putting them on the counter. “Today, we’ll make Arturia a tasty rice porridge that will be easy on her stomach.” Rin said. “Archer, will you be helping me?” 

“Of course. I could never let a poor girl suffer through an illness without a hearty meal.” Archer said. 

“Don’t you have school, Mongrelette?” Gilgamesh asked, crossing his arms. 

“I’ll just skip. It’s not a huge deal. I’m not going to a normal university anyway, I don’t have any reason to worry about attendance.” Rin said. “Out of the kindness of my heart, I’ve decided I’ll help you take care of my best friend, because you seem obscenely incompetent.” 

‘This bitch.’ Gilgamesh scoffed. ‘Kindness my ass.’ 

“Rin, if you use chicken broth instead of water in the porridge, it will add much more body and flavor to the dish.” Archer said to Rin. 

“Oh, I see.” Rin said. She then turned to Gilgamesh. “Are you just going to stand there and watch? Help us or get out!” 

Gilgamesh felt anger rising up his throat. However, in truth, he didn’t know a thing about helping a sick person. If he kicked Archer and Rin out of the house, he’d be lost! He needed to make use of these mongrels to help Arturia, and that meant playing nice. He turned and exited the kitchen, deciding to lie down on the couch. 

He let out a sigh and thought back to last night. It had been a lovely walk from the shopping district to Arturia’s home while holding her soft, warm hand. He still remembered the way Arturia smiled at him before they went to their separate rooms for bed. 

Gilgamesh waited on that couch for over an hour. Finally, he decided to go check on Arturia and make sure she was okay being alone for so long. 

He walked into the room to find Arturia lying supine on the bed with her top rolled up to her collarbones, exposing her chest. She was massaging the tissue of her breasts with her fingers. Arturia seemed to finally notice Gilgamesh standing awestruck at the door. “Kay, you told me that if I rubbed my breasts, they’d grow bigger, but I’ve been rubbing them for twenty minutes and nothing has happened!” Arturia’s face was flushed and warm with fever. 

Gilgamesh was still stunned at the door. “T-twenty minutes? That’s a long time, you must be tired. Why don’t I help you?” 

“Okay, that sounds nice. Thank you.” Arturia said, removing her hands from her breasts and leaving them bare for Gilgamesh to touch. 

Gilgamesh stepped closer. Arturia’s beautiful breasts were right in front of him, within his reach, and she was ready and willing to receive his touch! He was so close, he could practically feel her soft, supple skin already! 

Then, he was hit with a sharp kick to the side that sent him to the ground.

“You bitch! I was about to touch my wife’s breasts with full consent!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

Rin huffed. “I doubt anything she says in this state could be considered consent. Moreover, you should be ashamed for trying to touch a sick girl! She’s practically inebriated in this state! That’s super weird!” 

“But why would it be weird if he’s my brother? He doesn’t have sexual feelings for me. He was just trying to help me massage my breasts so they could grow.” Arturia said. 

There was a silence. 

“You know what, I don’t even want it anymore.” Gilgamesh said. 

“At least you have some sense of shame.” Rin said.

“I do not want to be allowed to touch her breasts if the only reason she’s giving consent is because she thinks I am her brother!” Gilgamesh exclaimed. 

“The porridge is ready.” Archer came into the room holding a tray with a bowl of porridge and a glass of water. 

“Good.” Rin turned to Arturia. “Don’t worry, Arturia, your breasts don’t need to grow. They’re perfect as they are.” 

“But you don’t understand, Rin. I’m not a beautiful, soft girl like you are. I’m all hard and covered in muscle. Having small breasts just makes me more masculine.” Arturia said. 

There was another silence, but this one was more heavy. 

“I didn’t know she had an insecurity like this…” Rin said aloud. She snapped her head to Gilgamesh. “What did you say to her?!” 

“Me?! I did not say anything!” Gilgamesh said. 

“You must’ve! Arturia has never told me an insecurity about being masculine!” Rin scoffed. “What, does she not live up to your virgin-fucking standards? Is even a slender girl too muscular for a man that only fucks beautiful big-tiddy women?” 

“She is not too muscular for me! The ass is a muscle, therefore more muscle means more ass! It’s an age-old formula!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“How do I know you aren’t lying? You could’ve been criticizing her appearance since day one!” 

Gilgamesh had had about enough of Rin’s shit. “I’ve been with men before, why would I be afraid of a little muscle?!” He yelled. 

This silence was long and awkward.

Rin cleared her throat. “You’re in the clear.” She turned her head to look at Archer. “Archer, give Arturia the porridge.” Archer obeyed the instruction and gave the tray to Arturia. “Arturia, this will hopefully be a good meal that won’t hurt your stomach. Go ahead and eat.” 

Arturia picked up her spoon and began eating the porridge. “It’s warm, Rin.” She smiled. 

“I’m glad.” Rin said. While Arturia was eating, Rin decided to ask Gilgamesh a certain question that had just appeared in her mind. “So, Goldie, the mesopotamians were okay with, you know.” Rin poked her two fingers together. 

“What?” Gilgamesh said. 

“You know.” Rin poked her fingers together again, but more aggressively this time. 

Gilgamesh just sat awestruck. Could someone really be so stupid? “Elaborate, mongrelette.” 

“When two guys…” She poked her fingers together again. 

“I think you have a gross misconception about how gay sex works.” 

“If you knew what I was trying to say, why did you make me elaborate?!” 

“I didn’t think someone could be that stupid! Do you think two men just poke their dicks together and call that sex?!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Well, how _does_ it work then?!” 

“It works the same way it does with women! Penis in hole!” Gilgamesh couldn’t believe he was actually giving a sex talk to an ignorant teenager. 

“But what hole?!” A look of horror spread across Rin’s face. “N-Not _that_ hole!” 

“I think you’re misunderstanding what hole I’m referring to!” 

“Rin, what Caster is trying to say is that men have anal sex. Additionally, it is physically impossible to fit a penis inside a urethra.” Archer explained. 

“Oh. I see.” Rin said. There was a short pause. “So, like, were you the penis or the hole?” She asked Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh slapped his hand to his forehead. “I've done both.” He finally said. 

Rin accepted that answer. “So...did you ever bang your best friend?” 

This question was so specific and invasive that it shocked even Gilgamesh a little. “Sometimes. Why do you want to know?” 

“Oh, you know, personal reasons.” Rin said. “So It’s okay to bang your best friend…” 

“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT WHILE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ARTURIA?!” 

“Oh, did I say that out loud? I didn’t mean to.” 

“Mongrelette, you are absolutely forbidden from having sex with Arturia!” Gilgamesh yelled. “Her virginity belongs to me!” 

“Her virginity doesn’t belong to anyone! God, you’re so weird!” Rin said. 

Arturia finally finished her porridge. “I’m finished. Thank you for the meal.” 

“She’s so polite even when she’s sick.” Rin said in amazement. “Archer, let’s go wash the dishes. I don’t want Arturia to have extra work right after being sick.” 

Archer took the tray from Arturia and began his walk to the kitchen. 

“Arturia, get some sleep, okay? Hopefully this fever will be gone when you wake up.” Rin said to Arturia. 

Arturia laid back down in bed. “Alright. Goodnight, Rin. Goodnight, Kay.” 

Gilgamesh was still bitter that he’d been effectively brother-zoned for the rest of Arturia’s sick period.

They turned out the lights and closed the door to the bedroom. Rin and Archer took the plates to the kitchen and Gilgamesh sat down on the couch to read manga. About an hour passed by before Rin and Archer finally came to the room in which Gilgamesh resided. 

“You really don’t know what her insecurity about being masculine is about?” Rin asked. 

“Well, I have some theories, but until today I had never even thought about it.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I think she actually has a beautiful body. She’s slim and athletic, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She’s got a flat chest, but her butt is really nice. I was in awe of how pretty she looked in the clothes I gave her. I always saw her as a beautiful, strong woman...I never really considered that she might not see herself in the same way.” Rin confessed, sitting down on one of the sofas. 

“To be truthful, mongrelette, I thought the same. I figured she must have one or two insecurities, as any human does, but I was not expecting her to doubt her own beauty.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Maybe I should tell her more often that she’s beautiful. I always thought that fact was implicit, but apparently it wasn’t.” 

“I, too, will barrage her with compliments when she wakes up.” Gilgamesh sat up straight on the couch with a determined look. “Alright! It will thus forth become a goal of mine to prove to Arturia that she is beautiful and feminine.” Gilgamesh said with determination. 

Rin paused for a minute. ‘He isn’t a bad guy, he’s just really weird.’ 

Suddenly, a high pitched scream pierced the air. 

“Arturia!” Gilgamesh yelled, dashing to Arturia’s room. Rin and Archer followed. 

“What the fuck?!” Rin yelled when she laid eyes upon the scene in front of her. Arturia was pointing the blade of her katana at her stomach, and Gilgamesh was desperately trying to keep Arturia from stabbing herself. 

“Why is her grip so strong?!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“What the hell is going on?!” Rin asked. 

“I do not know!” Gilgamesh said, attempting to pull the katana from Arturia’s grasp. “I think she is trying to commit seppuku! Grab her waist, I am worried she will throw herself onto the blade!” 

Archer did as instructed and grabbed Arturia’s waist, holding her in place. 

“Arturia, what’s wrong?!” Rin asked. 

“The tentacles...they got me! They raped me until I felt pleasure! I’m impure...I’ve sinned in the worst way possible for a knight! I have to commit seppuku to restore the honor of the Pendragon name! It’s the only way to right what has been done!” Arturia cried. 

“Tentacles?!” Rin asked, confused. 

“Her brother used to traumatize her with disturbing porn of tentacle rape when she was a child! Now she has a phobia of tentacles!” Gilgamesh explained. 

“There are so many things wrong with that I cannot even _explain!”_ Rin said. 

“Mongrelette, do something!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

Rin racked her brain for ideas. Finally, light struck her. “Arturia, look at the bed! If you were actually raped by tentacles, there would be all sorts of fluids on the sheets, but it’s completely dry! You weren’t raped, it was just a nightmare!” 

Arturia stilled and looked down at the sheets to find that Rin was completely right. The sheets were dry. “It was...just a nightmare?” Arturia asked. 

“Yes, just a horrific nightmare. So please put the sword down, Arturia.” Rin pleaded. 

Gilgamesh finally managed to pull the katana from Arturia’s hands. Everyone took a deep breath in relief. 

Rin helped Arturia lay back down on the bed. “This Fever is getting dangerous. We need a fever reducer.” Rin said. 

“Fever reducer? There’s a way to reduce fevers and you did not tell me?!” Gilgamesh said. 

“They aren’t always the best decision for a sick person. The body heats up for a reason when it’s sick. The feverish temperature is meant to kill whatever virus has taken root in the host. Fever reducers reduce the fever, but may slow down the actual healing process. But Arturia with a fever is dangerous. We should reduce it so she doesn’t try killing herself again.” Rin said. “Archer, go to the nearest convenience store and buy a fever reducer.” 

Archer obeyed the instruction and dematerialized to leave the house. 

Rin’s eyes trailed over the sick Arturia, who was lying in bed. “So this is why she never eats fried octopus with me when we go out…” She said this rather grimly. 

Gilgamesh walked to Arturia’s dresser and picked up her phone. He found the correct number in Arturia’s contact list. He clicked the call button and waited. 

_“Hello?”_

“You bastard! Arturia just attempted to commit seppuku!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

_“Woah, seriously? What happened?”_ Kay asked. 

“She had a nightmare about getting tentacle raped all because of that disturbing porn you traumatized her with as a child!” 

_“Oh damn!”_ Kay began to laugh. 

“It is not funny!” Gilgamesh screamed. 

_“Sorry, sorry, i'll stop. Anyway, did she survive?”_

“Of course she did!” 

_“Sorry, Jeez, I was just asking.”_

“Fuck you, mongrel! You gave my wife lifelong trauma!” 

_“If she just went to a therapist like I suggested she might be able to get over it.”_

“That is not good enough! I should demand your execution, but Arturia certainly would not like that, so instead I want you to apologize to her properly for the psychological damage that you did to her.” 

_“Whatever you say, boss. Just go ahead and put the phone on speaker.”_

Gilgamesh pressed the speaker button. 

_“Arty, I’d like to finally say sorry for the period of our lives that I was bullying you. I was going through some emotional problems at the time, and I took them out on you. And I’m very sorry for all the times I showed you tentacle rape hentai. That was very wrong. Okay, I’m finished.”_

“Did you hear that, Arturia? Your mongrel brother just apologized.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Who’s on the phone, Kay? He sounds a lot like you.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh slapped his palm to his forehead. 

_“I’ll apologize to her again when she’s back to normal.”_ Kay said. 

“You’re a worthless mongrel that isn’t even deserving of my attention.” 

_“Thanks, Caster. Love you too.”_

Gilgamesh hung up the phone. 

Rin went up to Arturia. “Arturia, both Caster and I want you to get better soon, so once we get you some medication, we want you to take a long nap. You’ll feel better when you wake up.” 

Arturia’s eyes went wide. “Caster? Is Caster here?” She asked. 

“Yes, I am right here, Arturia!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Shut up, Kay. No one’s talking to you.” Arturia said. 

“Yeah shut up, Kay.” Rin said. 

“Don’t propagate her delusions!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“What is it, Arturia? Do you want to see Caster?” Rin asked. 

Arturia shook her head, looking rather shy. “I don’t want him to see me like this. It isn’t befitting of a master.” 

“Then, what is it?” Rin asked. 

“Caster is weird.” Arturia said. 

There was a short silence in which Gilgamesh huffed. 

“I can agree with that.” Rin said. 

“That man is weird. He always treats me like a woman, even though he knows my secrets. He always calls me beautiful, despite having seen my masculine features. It makes me feel strange inside. He doesn’t belittle me for my mistakes, and he cared for his country just like I did. I want to be his friend and learn more about him.” Arturia said in a hushed tone, face flushed with more than just fever. 

Rin had an astonished look on her face. She turned to Gilgamesh, who was looking away, staring at the wall. “I know it isn’t the same as being her husband, but she at least wants to get to know you better. She likes you enough to deal with your craziness and wants to become your friend. It really isn’t that bad.” Rin said to him. 

“It is not that. I cannot become her friend, no matter what. I only had one friend, and will only ever have that one friend, so that their value will never diminish.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin looked at him with her brows furrowed. “Is that why you jumped straight to wanting her as a wife? Because you felt that you’d be betraying your friend if you befriended her?” 

“Of course not! I want her as a wife, that is all! I could never be satisfied just being her friend! However, even if I wanted her as a friend, I could not have her—I will only ever have one friend.” Gilgamesh said. 

“That’s stupid!” Rin said. 

“What did you say to me, Mongrelette?” Gilgamesh shot her a glare. 

“I said that’s stupid! I doubt that’s something your friend would have wanted you to do! They probably would want you to make new friends and live happily! But you’re stuck with some silly promise you’ve enforced on yourself!” Rin crossed her arms. “You know, couples usually start out as friends before becoming lovers. It wouldn’t be a bad thing for you to be Arturia’s friend for a while. It would at least give her the chance to fall in love with you. Most people don’t instantly fall in love like you did.” 

Gilgamesh scoffed. “As if I would listen to some mongrelette trying to give me advice.” 

‘This man and his pride…’ Rin thought. 

There was finally a knock at the door. 

“That must be Archer with the fever medication!” Rin said, and left to answer the door. 

Arturia addressed Gilgamesh. “Kay, What do you think about Caster?” 

“I think he is the handsomest, strongest, wisest, most amazing person on the planet, and that anyone would be lucky to be with him.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I see. What do you think of him as a husband?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh suddenly got excited. He might be able to influence Arturia by acting as her brother. “I think he would be a wonderful husband! The perfect husband! He has my full blessing!” 

“Mm, I thought you liked him. But, Kay, Japan still hasn’t legalized gay marriage, so you’d have to go to another country to marry him.” 

“...?” Gilgamesh was frozen. “Wait, no! I take it back! I don’t want that mongrel!” 

“Don’t pick up that nasty habit of calling people ‘mongrels’, Kay.” Arturia reprimanded. “I know you like him, and I approve of Caster as a person, so I’ll support your wedding.” 

‘Did I just accidentally agree to marry Arturia’s brother???’ Gilgamesh wondered. 

“Arturia, I brought medicine.” Rin came into the room holding a bottle of pills and a glass of water. “Take this.” She said, handing Arturia two pills. 

Arturia swallowed the two pills with some water, as instructed by Rin. 

“Alright, now go to sleep. A long rest is what you need.” Rin said. She turned to Gilgamesh. “Come on, she needs to sleep.” 

Gilgamesh was about to exit the room, when Arturia suddenly grabbed his arm. 

“Kay, I don’t want the tentacles to get me again. Will you sleep with me tonight like when we were kids?” Arturia asked. 

Before Gilgamesh could even consider answering, his arm was yanked. He yelped as his arm bent at an unnatural angle and he was forced into the bed. 

“Well, if it means Arturia won’t have another nightmare about tentacle rape, I’ll allow it.” Rin said with a sigh. “Archer, stay here and keep watch. Make sure Caster doesn’t try anything funny.” 

“Alright.” Archer said as Rin flicked off the lights and left the room. 

Time went by. Gilgamesh was reprimanded every time he made even the slightest of movements while in Arturia’s bed. Meanwhile, Arturia was clinging onto his chest, sleeping quietly. 

Arturia’s warm body, namely her breasts, were pressed up against Gilgamesh. It was a wonderful feeling. His leg twitched slightly. 

“Hey! I saw that! Don’t do anything funny or I’ll kill you.” Archer said. 

“You are just going to watch us sleep the entire time?” Gilgamesh whispered. 

“Yes. I’m going to keep Arturia safe.” Archer said. 

Gilgamesh huffed. Arturia was breathing softly against him. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and embrace her. He decided, fuck it. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly against him. 

“Hey—!” 

“If you do something now, you will wake her. You would not want to wake her when she so desperately needs to heal, would you?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Archer glared. “Fine, but don’t do anything funny to her!” 

“I won’t. I already told my wife I would wait for her.” Gilgamesh gazed down at Arturia’s sleeping face. He decided he’d take his own little nap with Arturia in his arms. 

—-

Arturia shifted slightly in bed, rousing from her rest. She felt warm and comfortable with a heat source around her. Her eyes opened, and she saw a handsome face sleeping soundly next to her. His arms were wrapped around her waist, hugging her body. ‘Caster…?’ She wondered.

Then she realized exactly what position she was in. 

She was lying down in her bed being held by a man. A very handsome man. A man she knew. A man that has wanted to have sex with her since they met. 

Arturia screamed and kicked him in the stomach as hard as she could, making him collide with the wall opposite to them. 

Gilgamesh woke up after being kicked, and held his abdomen in his arms in pain. “What the...fuck…” 

“What happened last night? How far did we go??” Arturia asked in hysterics. 

“We did not even...go...to first base…” Gilgamesh said, still holding his stomach in pain. 

Arturia then noticed Archer standing in the room. “Oh god, were you watching us?!” 

“I think there’s a misunderstanding!” Archer said. 

Rin burst into the room. “What on earth was that noise?!” She finally saw Gilgamesh still on the floor clutching his abdomen, and figured out the situation pretty quickly. 

“Rin, What are you doing here?! How far did I...go with him?!” Arturia’s face was entirely flushed. 

“You’re misunderstanding, Arturia!” Rin said. “You didn’t have sex with Caster…” 

Rin told Arturia the story of this morning, from start to finish, with Gilgamesh filling in some details that Rin missed. 

“Caster, I’m really sorry! I thought we did something, I didn’t know I was the one who pulled you into bed in the first place!” Arturia apologized. 

“I will forgive you because you are my wife.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia smiled. “I apologize for giving you all so much trouble today.” She bowed her head. 

“It’s okay. And, Arturia, if you ever need anyone to talk to about your...tentacle phobia, I’m always here for you.” Rin said. 

“Ah...thank you.” Arturia blushed. Her phobia was something she generally tried to keep private. 

“Seriously. You tried to commit seppuku today. You really need to talk to someone about it.” Rin said. 

“Yeah…” Arturia scratched her cheek. 

Her gaze turned to Gilgamesh. She stared at him for a while. 

“What is it? Is there something on my face?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“You changed your clothes. Are you going to be dressing in Kay’s flashy outfits from now on?” Arturia asked. 

“Well, I would prefer to dress in flashy outfits that I bought myself that are tailored to my size, but for now, yes, I will be relying on your brother’s wardrobe.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I see…” The outfit Gilgamesh was wearing highlighted his body. The jagged edges of muscles that were hidden under his clothing were slightly hinted at through the fabric. The taut muscles of his forearms were visible due to the folded up sleeves. Arturia’s cheeks were lightly dusted pink. “I don’t know if I like this new debonair look on you. Flashiness isn’t in my taste. Though, this outfit is rather sensible out of what you could have put together from my brother’s closet. I can’t speak for how much I approve...but if it’s what you want, then I suppose it’s alright.” 

Gilgamesh grinned and crossed his arms, feeling confident in his new outfit. In short...he looked incredibly handsome. 

He was a man, pure and simple. He had no boyishness left in him. He was an adult, one that had already reached maturity (yet was still somehow incredibly childish). Arturia almost felt envious. She was stuck in a body that would forever look young. She would never reach the full bloom of a woman's body. Not to mention her undersized breasts and muscled body made her even stranger looking. She felt that she looked inferior to him in comparison. 

“Is something wrong?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Nothing.” Arturia smiled. “You look good.” 

Gilgamesh raised his eyebrow in suspicion. 

“Well, I think I’ll take a shower now. I feel a bit sweaty from the fever. And I should get dressed.” Arturia said. 

“Stay in pajamas. Don’t put on anything just for us. Just relax for the rest of the day, okay? And don’t skip a bath for us, take a good soak in the tub today. The steam might clear some of the congestion in your nose.” Rin said. 

Arturia smiled. “I will. Will you be staying longer?” 

“At least until you finish your bath so we can say goodbye properly.” Rin said. 

Arturia nodded and headed to the bathroom. 

Gilgamesh, Rin and Archer went to the livingroom to wait for Arturia. There had been one question on Gilgamesh’s mind that he thought Rin might be able to answer. 

“Arturia told me that she was unpopular in middle school. Do you know anything about that?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“I mainly know about it through rumors. We were in different classes at the time. I didn’t pay all that much mind to it. Basically, from what I know, she was a completely perfect student, but totally apathetic. People wondered if she even had emotions. 

“I remember one rumor very vividly. Some of her brother’s friends asked her why her brother had been absent from school for a few days, and she just said, ‘Our parents died in a car crash a few days ago. Please forgive his absences, he’s not feeling well.’ 

“Her apathy unnerved people. She didn’t seem to feel anything after her parents died. Unlike her brother, who was struggling with grades and attendance for the next few months, she remained an honor student with perfect attendance. 

“She was so eerily calm that people couldn’t even bully her. She reacted with no anger, no hatred, no fear, no shame. It was like there was no person to bully. She almost became known as an ice queen. 

“I always thought those rumors were stupid. I thought it was obvious that she was just grieving. I actually felt like I could relate to the pain of her losing her parents. I thought she was putting up a strong exterior. But, ultimately, I didn’t know her, and she wasn’t in my class, so I stayed out of it.” Rin said. 

‘That makes sense. She completely shut off when her parents died. This aligns with what her mongrel brother said as well.’ “She suddenly became popular after that though?” 

“Yeah. She had a huge boom of popularity when we became third years. Supposedly, Arturia had made a friend, Shirou Emiya. No one cared about him, but he was well known for his relationship with Arturia. Anyway, people started noticing that she was actually super cute. She was smiling more often and was kinder to the people around her. She was still perfect, but in an admirable way rather than a creepy way. I was in her class this time, and I decided that I was curious about her. I told her, ‘let’s be friends!’ At first she refused, but I learned how to lure her out with food. The rest is history. Now we’re best friends.” Rin said. 

Gilgamesh couldn’t help but feel slightly grateful to Rin and Shirou. Despite being mongrels, they helped her through a really rough time in her life. “I can see why Arturia chose you two as her friends.” He said. 

“What do you mean?” Rin asked. 

“Though you are mongrels, you have helped my wife in a profound way. I know the importance of true friendship, and I’ve decided that you two have been true friends to her. I approve of you as her friend. Just keep your hands off her body.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Woah, woah. Listen here, just because you approve of us doesn’t mean we approve of you! I can’t speak for Shirou, but I, for one, am against you becoming her husband! If I had it my way, you wouldn’t even be her servant! Moreover, you haven’t answered one of the most important questions: what is it that you love so much about Arturia?” Rin asked. 

Gilgamesh paused for a second. He couldn’t disclose his love of her wish or ideals, since that would give away Arturia’s identity and backstory. So, he decided to name something else he loved about her. “I love that she is able to resist me. I have never met a woman that could resist my charms, much less talk back to me and even threaten me on occasion. She is not an easy woman, and I love that about her.” 

“Hah? That’s why? That’s not special, it isn’t hard to resist a weirdo like you at all!” Rin said. 

“You would be incorrect. No one, regardless of sexuality or gender, is able to resist my charms, with the exception of Arturia.” 

“I resist you just fine! You’re such a weirdo, you make it pretty easy to resist.” 

Gilgamesh laughed. “Trust me, mongrelette, if I were actually trying to seduce you, you would not be strong enough to resist.” 

Rin clenched her fist. “Do it, then.” 

“Hah?” 

“I said do it, then!!!” Rin yelled with a passion that shocked even Gilgamesh. “Go ahead and try to seduce me! I’ll show you that I’m strong enough to resist!” 

Gilgamesh was stunned for a minute. “I’m in love with Arturia, I certainly cannot—“ 

“It’s just a simulation. It’s not like we’ll actually do anything!” Rin said. 

“Rin, are you sure this is a good idea?” Archer asked. 

“Stay out of this, Archer. My pride as a woman is on the line.” Rin had determination in her eyes. 

“I told you, I cannot try to seduce you while I’m waiting for Arturia to accept me. I wish to be in a relationship with her, I certainly cannot be seducing other women.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What’s wrong? Are you afraid of learning that your crush isn’t as special as you thought?” Rin mocked. 

Now Gilgamesh was angry. “Fine, Mongrelette. I’ll prove to you that Arturia is special as a woman.” 

Rin sat still on the floor, standing her ground. She allowed Gilgamesh to pin her down. 

“You know, you _are_ rather beautiful.” Gilgamesh purred. 

Suddenly, Rin’s heart was racing. She tried to stay stubborn, but for some reason, her body wasn’t listening to her. She felt lightheaded. She couldn’t even speak in retaliation! Her entire brain was short-circuiting! 

Then, the sliding door of the bathroom opened. 

Gilgamesh went frozen. He looked up slowly to see Arturia looking at him in shock. He suddenly jumped off of Rin, flying five feet back in a way that would make gymnasts proud. “Arturia, this is not what you think!” He said. 

“You...you sleazy bastard! Were you trying to seduce Rin?!” Arturia screamed. 

“No! No! I was just trying to prove that you were special! It was just a simulation! Say something, Mongrelette!” Gilgamesh pleaded, but Rin was still short-circuiting on the floor. “I swear, she asked me to do it! Archer was here the whole time!” 

Archer looked to Arturia, then to Gilgamesh, then back to Arturia. “I saw it! He tried to seduce Rin right in front of me!” 

“You lying Faker!” Gilgamesh yelled. “Arturia, I promise I am loyal to you and only you! This Mongrelette cannot even compare!” 

“Shut up, you sleazy liar! You tried to seduce my best friend! I should’ve known that a horny guy like you would just attack the first woman you see!” Arturia yelled. 

“No! I want you as my wife, not anyone else!” Gilgamesh kept pleading. 

Just as Arturia was about to approach him in order to beat his ass, Rin sat up and said, “Arturia, he’s telling the truth.” 

Arturia stopped to look at Rin. 

“I wanted to prove that I was just as mentally strong as you and that this bastard wasn’t actually able to seduce everyone on the planet. I thought he was exaggerating! He has some sort of incredible charisma...I don’t know how you manage to stay so strong around him!” Rin said. “I asked him to do it, he didn’t initially want to.” 

Arturia turned back to Gilgamesh. “I...apologize for not believing you, then.” 

Gilgamesh was just relieved that Arturia didn’t think he was unfaithful. 

Suddenly, Rin grabbed Arturia’s legs. “Teach me your ways!” She screamed. “How are you so strong and amazing? Are you a goddess?” 

“Uhh…” Arturia didn’t quite know how to answer. 

“I think that’s been enough excitement for one day. I’ll go ahead and take her home.” Archer pulled Rin into his arms. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Arturia.” Archer said. 

Arturia opened the door for Archer and Rin. “Bye Rin. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” 

“Such terrifying power…” Rin muttered, still traumatized. 

The door closed, leaving Gilgamesh and Arturia alone in the house. 

“Thank you for attempting to take care of me today. I don’t know how I feel about you trying to rub my breasts, but still, it’s obvious that you earnestly wanted to help me get better today.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh just stared at her for a minute. “I need your phone.” He said, and walked into Arturia’s room. 

“Hey, what are you taking my phone out for?!” Arturia said and followed him.

Then, _click!_ Gilgamesh turned the phone to show Arturia.

It was a picture of herself. Arturia didn’t understand why he decided to suddenly take a picture of her. 

“Look at this.” He held the phone to her face. “I do not know what you see in the mirror everyday, but this is what we see. You’re beautiful, slender, and feminine. Your proportions are perfect, and your small breasts fit your tiny frame just fine. You are not overly muscled or masculine, in fact I believe you are one of the most graceful women I have ever seen.”

Arturia’s face flushed as she took the phone and looked at the picture. She was wearing the pajamas Rin had given her. She could clearly see her legs and arms, as well as the shape of her torso. Now he was saying that she was beautiful? ‘What on earth brought this on…’ She wondered. 

The phone then began to ring. Arturia answered. “Kay?” There was a pause while Kay was speaking. “Alright.” She turned to Gilgamesh. “Can you go to the living room? He wants to talk to me privately for a bit. And he wanted me to tell you that he keeps his promises.” 

Gilgamesh nodded and left. Kay was probably calling to apologize to Arturia again now that she was better. 

To his surprise, the doorbell rang. Gilgamesh waited a few seconds to see if Arturia was going to answer, but no one came. She must be too busy on the phone. The doorbell rang again, and Gilgamesh wondered who it was. ‘Did the mongrelette forget something?’ He wondered. 

Finally, he decided to answer the door. When he did, he was faced with a man with very long white hair, put in a braid that cascaded down his back. He was dressed in a business casual style. And, funnily enough, he looked strangely like Merlin, a servant he had summoned to help him during the singularity. 

“Hi…?” The man said. 

Gilgamesh didn’t greet him back. “Who are you? Why have you come to Arturia’s house?” 

“I should be the one asking that. I’m Merlin, Arturia’s legal guardian. And...may I ask who you are?” 

Before Gilgamesh could answer, Arturia came up behind him. “Merlin! What are you doing here?” She asked. 

“I’ve come to check on you. And, of course, to wish you a happy late birthday! You just turned eighteen! You know, in your home country of Britain, you would be a legal adult right now. Therefore, I brought you a present fitting for an adult!” Merlin held up a bottle of sake.

“Merlin, you know that’s illegal.” Arturia said. 

“You know what I always say, it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught.” Merlin smiled. 

Arturia shook her head. “Good grief.” 

“Now, come on, hurry up and let me in! It’s time to celebrate!” Merlin said. 

Arturia was hesitant, but decided to let Merlin come in. 

They all sat down around the table. “I’m afraid I have a little cold, so I can’t drink any sake. Feel free to enjoy some, I’ll just drink some tea.” Arturia said. 

“Aww, how boring. Promise me you’ll drink some later, okay?” Merlin said. 

“I promise.” 

“Well, now I suppose I’ll address the elephant in the room. Arturia, would you mind introducing me to this man you allowed into your house?” Merlin asked. 

Arturia bit her lip. “He’s a friend of mine, and his name is...Gil.” Merlin spoke fluent English, so calling Gilgamesh ‘Caster’ would be strange, especially if he had a cover story as a foreigner. She also couldn’t call him by his True Name. 

Gilgamesh perked up when he heard Arturia use his nickname. “Indeed, my name is Gil! However, only Arturia may call me that, so you must call me Gilgamesh.”

Arturia slapped her palm against her forehead. This idiot missed the point of it completely. “Yes. He’s a friend of mine.” 

“You look too old to still be in high school. What are you, twenty?” Merlin asked. 

Gilgamesh looked to Arturia, who nodded in approval. “Yes, I am twenty.” 

“Twenty and eighteen, that isn’t so bad.” Merlin said. “Are you a student at a local college?” 

Gilgamesh shook his head. 

“Then do you have a job of some sort?” 

“As if I could ever bring myself so low as to work for mongrels.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Then...you’re a broke freeloader?” 

“Broke?! What nonsense are you spouting?! I am the richest man alive! Even in your currency, I am rich! Just the other day I bought Arturia a diamond ring!” 

“I see. I have a pretty good picture of what’s going on here.” Merlin leaned over the table. “Arturia, if you were having financial problems, you could have just told me. You didn’t need to go and get a sugar daddy.” 

“...WHAT?!” Arturia yelled. 

“You don’t even need to explain, I understand the details just fine! You, being the stubborn, independent woman that you are, didn’t want to bother your guardian or brother for money, and instead decided to earn your own money through long term compensated dating—a sugar daddy. You found a rich, older man that could save you from your financial troubles. It truly is quite tragic.” 

“No! No! You’re misunderstanding!” Arturia yelled.

“I am not disappointed. I won’t judge you for whatever sexual favors you’ve had to do with your sugar daddy.” Merlin said. 

“Sexual favors?! It isn’t like that at all!” Arturia insisted. 

Then, suddenly, Gilgamesh slammed his fist against the table. He looked Merlin dead in the eyes. “I am _not_ her father.” He said. 

‘NO ONE WAS DOUBTING THAT YOU IDIOT!!!’ Arturia screamed in her head. 

“I do not see why she would call me daddy if I am not her father.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Well, I guess not all sugar daddies are into the ‘daddy’ thing.” Merlin said. 

“Merlin, listen to me!” Arturia yelled, getting everyone’s attention. “He isn’t my sugar daddy, and this isn’t compensated dating! He’s...he’s...my boyfriend.” She said this last part rather meekly. “He was here today...because he was taking care of me while I had a cold.” 

There was silence. 

Gilgamesh had stars in his eyes. Boyfriend...he’d read that word in manga. From what he understood, a ‘boyfriend’ was the male partner in a youthful romantic relationship. A boyfriend wasn’t quite a husband, and Gilgamesh would never be satisfied until he was her husband, but it was one step closer to a romantic relationship! She was calling them lovers! 

“Boyfriend? That’s wonderful! As far as I know, you’ve never had a boyfriend in your life!” Merlin turned to Gilgamesh. “So you’re the man Arturia chose as her boyfriend.” 

“Indeed! However, I will not be satisfied until I am her husband!” Gilgamesh proclaimed. 

“Woah! A man that’s willing to commit, too! Well, I suppose we should drink on this wondrous occasion!” Merlin opened up the bottle of sake and poured a cup for himself and Gilgamesh. “Arturia can’t have some right now, but surely this is an occasion that calls for a drink.” 

Gilgamesh accepted the glass of sake. He took a sip. “Not bad, but I have tasted much finer alcoholic beverages.” 

“Well, this was the best I could afford. Perhaps you can buy the sake next time we drink together.” Merlin said, raising his glass. He took a big gulp. 

Arturia was just glad that her lie worked. 

“So, what about the diamond ring? Did he really buy you one?” Merlin asked. 

“Yes. It was a gift...for my birthday. I’m not a fan of such expensive gifts, but it was a sweet gesture.” Arturia said. 

“You certainly got lucky, didn’t you! You found a guy that’s hot and rich!” Merlin laughed. 

“I wouldn’t date someone for such shallow reasons…” Arturia said. 

“Well, you gotta admit, they’re still good bonuses.” Merlin said. 

“Ah, what a wonderful day to be lovers with arturia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Now, I want you to tell me truthfully, have you two done the deed yet?” Merlin asked. 

“What?! No! We haven’t done anything like that!” Arturia said. 

“Yeah, we have not.” Gilgamesh said, but in a much more dejected manner. 

“Well, as your guardian, it’s important for me to talk to you about safe sex. You should always wear a condom, both to help prevent pregnancy and STDs. I know it’s a bit taboo in this country, but I wouldn’t mind helping you get the pill form of birth control as well. It’s considered completely acceptable in western countries, but here in the East we seem to be a bit behind the times.” 

“I know that already! You don’t need to give me a sex talk!” Arturia said. 

“I know it’s embarrassing, but these are very important things for a guardian to talk about.” Merlin said. 

“I...I’m not going to have sex with Caster—!” Arturia suddenly realized her mistake. 

“Caster? Is that some sort of English nickname for Gilgamesh?” Merlin asked. “Is he a mage as well?” 

“Ah…no...I nicknamed him that because...because he...cast a spell of love over my heart.” Arturia said, practically shaking. ‘I can’t believe I just said that…!’ 

Gilgamesh’s heart was ready to burst out of his chest. 

“How absolutely adorable!” Merlin yelled. “Young love is so beautiful.” 

“It’s getting late, I’m going to need to make dinner soon.” Arturia said. 

“Ah, in that case, I won’t intrude any longer. Oh, but before I go I must ask, is Gilgamesh going to stay over tonight by any chance?” Merlin asked. 

“Uhh...yes…” Arturia said. 

“Well, be safe. Remember what I said.” Merlin turned to Gilgamesh. “Goodbye, Gilgamesh, it was nice to meet you.” Merlin outstretched his hand for Gilgamesh to shake. 

“I don’t touch mongrels.” Gilgamesh said. Then, Arturia swatted him over the head. “Ow! Fine!” Gilgamesh took Merlin's hand and shook it. 

Merlin chuckled. “Ah, young love.” 

Arturia walked Merlin to the door to say their goodbyes. 

It was then that Gilgamesh noticed something on Merlin’s seat. It seemed to be small connected packages with something round inside. He picked it up and examined it. He decided he’d open it to see what it was. It was something rolled up and rubbery. He unrolled it. ‘A...balloon?’ He wondered, seeing it completely unraveled. He decided to take it to Arturia and ask her about it. 

Arturia was standing in the doorway, having just said goodbye to her guardian. 

“Arturia, what is this?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Arturia gaped when she saw the condoms in his hands. “EH?!” 

Meanwhile, Merlin was taking out his keys and getting in his car. ‘I have to get away quickly or I’ll face Arturia’s wrath for leaving that gift.’ He chuckled a bit to himself. It had been a very fun evening teasing her. ‘But honestly, to think she summoned the King of Heroes, and the wise one at that!’ Merlin put the car into drive and drove off. 

Arturia stomped her way to the kitchen and threw the condoms into the trash. She had just had to explain that condoms were to Gilgamesh, and did not appreciate the grin that formed on his face afterward. 

“Arturia, he was only trying to help you. He does not know that I cannot get you pregnant.” Gilgamesh said in Merlin’s defense. 

“It doesn’t matter! I already told him that I’m not having sex with you!” Arturia was, in reality, just angry because of how flustered she was. 

“You should not be so intractable. There is nothing wrong with having sex with your boyfriend.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You aren’t my boyfriend, Caster. That was just a cover story I made up. You’re just my...well…” Arturia blushed slightly. 

“Well what?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Well...I’ve been meaning to ask...to get to know me and to spend time with me, as a friend, is that something you want?” Arturia’s face was slightly flushed and her hand was pressed to her chest. 

Gilgamesh paused. “I do not want you as a friend, Arturia. I have made that very clear.” 

“I know. But to get to know me and to spend time with me, like a friend would, are those things you would want?” 

Suddenly, Gilgamesh was the one blushing. “Well...I do not want you as a friend...but getting to know you better and spending time with you…yes, I want that.” 

Arturia scrutinized him for a second, then turned on her heel. “I see.” She said as she exited the kitchen. 

Gilgamesh kicked the base of the trash can. ‘Damnit! I should not be the one getting flustered!’ He thought. The word friend meant a lot to him. It had a connotation that even Arturia wouldn’t understand. Saying she wanted to be his friend was like saying she wanted to be his lifelong companion. This was what he wanted, of course, but it was embarrassing when she was the one being forward about it. 

He waited a few minutes in the kitchen to let himself calm down before finally coming out. 

Arturia was standing in the living room looking at the clock. “Today has been so busy, it’s already late in the evening. I think it’s time I make dinner.” Arturia walked past Gilgamesh to the kitchen. 

“Do not strain yourself. Even though your fever is reduced and you can function, you are still sick.” Gilgamesh said. 

Thankfully, there was still leftover porridge that Rin and Archer had made. After a meal with Gilgamesh, Arturia decided she would go to bed early. 

Before sleeping, she looked at the picture Gilgamesh had taken on her phone. Her legs were long and smooth, her arms were thin, and she was well proportioned...was this what he meant when he said this was how everyone else views her? Surely if Gilgamesh said so...she must have a semblance of physical beauty. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been called feminine before...not in this life or my last.’ For some reason, looking at the picture filled her heart with warmth. ‘He’s such a strange guy.’ She thought before putting the phone away and falling asleep. 

Later on, late into the night, Arturia woke up from her slumber. She felt incredibly thirsty. She got out of bed and quietly made her way to the kitchen. She filled a glass with water and took a few sips before putting it back on the counter. Suddenly, something felt wrong. 

There was a presence. 

Not her or Gilgamesh. 

Something else. 

She finally felt something appear behind her, a hand going over her mouth. She started to become dizzy and drowsy. She fell back against the body behind her. 

“Sleep, sweet girl. You’ll make for a wonderful pet.” Those words, from a female voice, were the last things Arturia heard before falling unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh! This chapter is so cute! It’s purely comedy and I think that’s amazing. Anyway, it took me no time at all to write this, even tho its over 10k! It Only took like a week! I forgot how easy and fun writing romance comedy is. Seriously...it takes like half the time as drama. It’s crazy. But anyway, here it is, Master Arturia is back!


	8. Chapter 8

The alarm clock had been ringing for a full five minutes. ‘Do not tell me she has a fever again…’ Gilgamesh got out of bed and went to Arturia’s room. What he saw shocked him, or rather, what he _didn’t see_ shocked him. 

Arturia was nowhere to be found. 

“Arturia…?” He called out into the house. No one replied. 

He checked the bathrooms, her parent’s room, the living room, the kitchen—all the while calling out her name—with no luck. She wasn’t in the house. 

‘Did she go for a run?’ He wondered. ‘No, she would have at least told me first. She’s not stupid, she knows this is a war.’ Then where did she go? He double checked the rooms, just to be safe. It was then he noticed something amiss in the kitchen. Something that was so small, it had evaded his eye on his first look. 

There was a cup half filled with water standing on the kitchen counter. 

No, that can’t be right. Arturia wouldn’t leave a mess on the counter. She was far too diligent. 

The reality finally sunk in. Arturia had been taken against her will from this house. 

The house that he himself had been sleeping in the entire time. 

While he was in bed sleeping like a baby, she was being kidnapped. 

It was a complete and total failure as a servant, and, worse, as a husband. 

‘No, no, no,’ He tried to calm down his brain, but he found that he couldn’t. “Damnit!” He yelled out and pounded his fist against the wall. To his surprise, his fist went right through the drywall. He looked at the gaping hole in the wall. ‘Arturia will be mad at me for that later.’ He thought in a rather mundane manner. But it signaled something to him, that he was much more distressed about the idea of losing Arturia than he’d anticipated. 

‘She is not dead, I know that much.’ If she was dead, he would’ve sensed it by now. However, he would not be able to sense it if she was being tortured or maimed or raped. That thought put him at great unease. 

_‘Arturia, Can you hear me?’_ He tried communicating mentally with his master. He received no reply. Was she asleep? Or was she just unable to speak? 

‘Shit…’ He thought. What now? What was he supposed to do now that Arturia was gone? He needed to, first of all, know who kidnapped her, and second of all, know where she was being held. 

He decided that if there was ever a time to use his clairvoyance, it was now. 

Through his clairvoyance, he learned exactly where Arturia was. She was in the basement of the church being held by Caster. And Caster was… changing Arturia’s clothes? Sure, it was a lovely looking dress, but even so. Arturia seemed to be unconscious, and luckily, unharmed. Why Caster was changing her clothes...was a matter he’d have to worry about later. 

The real problem was whether or not he’d be able to defeat Caster. He knew her identity as Medea from his clairvoyance. She was a mage from the Age of Gods, similar to him; the difference being that she was a proper mage and not an impromptu one like him. However, the sheer firepower from his massive amount of wands should make up for that. 

The biggest problem was the potential for Caster to use Arturia against him. He remembered distinctly that Caster implied that she could steal servants. If she managed to take Arturia’s command seals, well, the Caster class doesn’t have good resistance to magic, so there would be nothing stopping her from ordering him to commit suicide. 

Therefore, he wasn’t able to beat Caster alone. He’d have to rely on the Mongrelette to help him with this problem. 

That was what allies were for, he supposed. 

Gilgamesh spent the next few minutes traveling to Shirou’s house with great speed. He didn’t bother knocking, and just dematerialized to enter. He found Shirou, Rin, and Saber sitting at the table eating breakfast. 

“Mongrelette, Mongrel, Saber—!” Gilgamesh started. 

Rin shrieked at the surprise intruder. “Ever heard of knocking, dumbass?!” 

Shirou seemed slightly shocked as well. “Well, I suppose there's enough food leftover if you want some, Caster.” 

Saber was the one who noticed the oddity in the room. “Where’s Arturia-sama?” The two humans in the room became silent at the question. 

“She has been taken by Caster.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin jolted to her feet. “What?!” 

“What do you mean Arturia was taken?!” Shirou said. 

“I woke up this morning and she was not there.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You just let your master get kidnapped?! What an absolute failure as a servant!” Rin yelled. “You bastard, you let my best friend get taken away!” 

“How do you know it was Caster that took Arturia-sama?” Saber asked, seeming to be the only one thinking rationally at the moment. 

“I possess a noble phantasm that allows me to see the future and discern truths.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Why didn’t Arturia tell us? Did she want to keep it a secret?” Rin asked, having calmed down. 

“Well, about that...I never told Arturia about my clairvoyance.” Gilgamesh confessed. 

“ _WHAT?!_ Why?!” Rin yelled. 

“Because then she would want me to use it in battle and seeing the future makes things so _boring_. I would prefer fighting alongside my wife to be fun and exciting and thrilling. Clairvoyance ruins that.” 

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!” Rin asked. 

“I am at least using it now that Arturia’s life is on the line! Are you going to reprimand me, or are you going to help me get Arturia back?!” Gilgamesh said. Rin was silent. “I thought so. Now, Caster’s noble phantasm is Rule Breaker, which can nullify all magic. I believe she intends to use it to nullify servant contracts and steal command seals. What she said about stealing servants supports this—why are all of you looking at me like that?” 

Rin and Shirou looked nervously at each other before Rin spoke. “We faced Caster late last night. Archer betrayed us and Caster used her noble phantasm to nullify our contract and take my command seals.” 

“This is the worst possible time for this to happen! That damn faker! I always knew he was no good!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Calm down. What we need right now is a strategy.” Rin said. 

“Right. We know their True Names, Caster is Medea and Archer is EMIYA.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin and Shirou just stared. “What?” Rin said. 

“What is it?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“EMIYA?” Shirou tried to clarify. “As in his identity is EMIYA?” 

“Yes. His identity is the heroic spirit EMIYA, formerly Shirou Emiya.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin and Shirou were still stunned. “You’re serious?” Rin asked. 

“Yes, I am serious.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Is that why Archer is always such a dick to me?” Shirou asked. 

“Probably.” Gilgamesh said. “Look, there is no time to be in shock about this, what we need to do is hurry and save Arturia.” 

“This makes sense...no wonder you're proficient at projecting his blades. Not to mention, you’re a pretty good archer too.” Rin said. “Oh right, Caster, it turns out Shirou is good at projection—“ 

“Yeah, yeah, I do not care. If it happened offscreen it means it was not important.” Gilgamesh said. “You at least still have Saber, so coming here was not entirely useless.” 

Saber had been silent for this entire exchange. “King of Heroes, how much does Caster know about Arturia-sama? Simply seeing Arturia-sama’s strength alone is not enough to incentivize Caster to go out of her way to kidnap her.” 

“It is as you think. I believe Caster is aware of Arturia’s history. She must have been watching us.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Rin asked, and was ignored. 

“Do you know what Caster would want Arturia-sama for?” 

“Caster distinctly said the word ‘pet’ when we last fought her. I also believe she was interested in using her as a distraction against Berserker.” Gilgamesh said. “Oh, and in my vision, Caster was changing Arturia’s clothes.” 

“Changing her clothes?” Rin said. 

“Yes, she was putting Arturia into a lovely white dress. It was a while ago that I saw that, so it could have already happened.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Caster’s taking the ‘pet’ thing too seriously.” Rin grumbled. “I should be the only one who gets to dress Arturia up.” 

“Excuse me?! I am her husband! It should be my right to dress her!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Weirdo, you two aren’t even in a relationship.” Rin said. 

“Guys, now isn’t the time to fight. We need to strategize.” Saber said. 

Gilgamesh and Rin reluctantly agreed to a ceasefire. 

—-

Arturia’s eyes slowly began to open. Wherever she was, it was dark and dreary. Everything was bathed in a bluish tint. The carpets were red and the walls were solid stone. ‘Where am I?’ She wondered. She tried to move, but her hands were bound in the air. ‘And...what kind of pose is this?!’ She was completely bent over, her arms being held up in the air. She struggled against her magical binds. 

“Oh, dear girl, you’ve woken up.” Light footsteps echoed as the small cloaked woman approached Arturia. 

“Caster, what do you want?! Why am I here?!” Arturia snarled. 

“I’ve brought you here to become my pet. You’ll prove to be useful against Berserker.” Caster said. 

“Pet? Go fuck yourself! I am no one’s pet!” 

“Ah, yes, because you are a _king_ , aren’t you, girl?” Caster said. 

Arturia froze. 

“A beloved king from the past that has been reincarnated into the present day.” 

“How do you—“ 

“Well, no matter. No matter how strong you are, I’ll break you. And then, I’ll use that strength of yours to win my own battles. Yes, this will be glorious.” Caster walked around Arturia, coming to stand behind her. “I like girls like you. The slim, boyish body, the gallant figure, honestly, I just want to crush you under my heel.” She grabbed the hem of Arturia’s dress and lifted it, completely exposing Arturia’s rear end. 

“Wh-What are you doing?!” Arturia said. 

“I _really_ like this part of you.” Caster bunched the back of Arturia’s dress up on Arturia’s back, then began groping Arturia’s ass. 

Arturia let out a squeak. “Hey! That’s—stop!” She was blushing like mad. ‘Why are both Caster servants in this war incorrigible perverts?!’ She wondered. 

_‘Arturia, are you awake? Can you hear me?’_ Gilgamesh’s voice asked in her head. 

“Caster! I’m here!” Arturia yelled, but there was no reply. 

“Don’t bother trying to mentally communicate. Your voice won’t be able to reach him from here.” Caster said. 

_‘Arturia, I do not know if you can hear me, but we are coming. I will save you no matter what. I love you, for now just stay alive.’_ Gilgamesh spoke inside Arturia’s head. 

“What’s wrong? You just suddenly started blushing, how cute. Did he say something lewd to you?” Caster asked. 

“No! Of course not!” Arturia yelled. 

“Well, it doesn't matter. You will already be under my control by the time he gets here.” Caster said. 

“As if!” 

“Oh sweet, strong girl. How long will it take you to realize? You have no choice.” Caster laughed and Arturia gritted her teeth. Caster walked back around to Arturia’s head. “Well, I suppose I should get on with it, then. A simple spell is all I’ll need to control you.” 

With a wave of Caster’s hand, Arturia felt a heaviness descend upon her. She could feel the foreign influence attempting to invade her mind. She concentrated with all her might, concentrating the mana she held inside her body in order to fight Caster’s spell. It was more than enough to keep the spell at bay. 

“Such an incredible amount of mana...a magic core? Well, that’s rather troublesome. Well, I better turn it off.” Caster tapped her finger against Arturia’s head and Arturia felt her body stop producing mana. 

‘What…? How did she…?’ Arturia wondered. 

“It’s no good if you keep attempting to nullify my magic with your mana. I just went ahead and nipped that problem at the bud. I can jumpstart it again once you’re fully under my control. Now, I just need to deal with the mana still residing inside your body.” 

Another spell descended upon Arturia, this one draining her magical energy. She could feel Caster’s spell becoming harder and harder to fight with her lessening mana. She concentrated as hard as she could on resisting the spell. 

“Hm, is there anything else I forgot?” Caster mused aloud. 

“You...witch…” Arturia said through her teeth. 

That word, _witch_. Caster hated that word. “Oh, I know! How about a lust spell? I think it’s a great fit for your knightly pride!” Caster cast the spell with a wave of her hand. 

—-

“What do you mean we have to wait until nightfall?!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“I said that we can’t attack Caster in broad daylight. We have to wait until night before we start the battle.” Rin said. 

“And leave Arturia in the clutches of that witch?!” 

“It’s the rules of the Grail War, Caster.” 

“Do you know what could be happening to her right now?! She could be being tortured or raped or forced to endure some other suffering!” 

“Arturia is strong. She can handle whatever Caster does to her. Thinking calmly and with strategy is what Arturia would want us to do.” 

“You can only speak like that because it is not you who has to endure suffering!” 

Rin slammed her hands down on the table. “YOU'VE KNOWN HER FOR A WEEK.” She yelled. “I’ve known her for five years! Look around you, Caster! Everyone here loves Arturia! You’re not the only one who is going crazy with worry! You’re not the only one who wants to immediately sack the church and rescue her! You’re not the only one who is agonizing about whatever torture Arturia may be enduring! And yet, you’re the only one throwing a fit! Arguing and being irrational won’t save Arturia! So calm down and shut up so we can strategize!” 

Gilgamesh was spurned by the outburst. He wanted to argue, but deep down, he knew she was right. “Call for me when nightfall comes.” He said and dematerialized into golden dust. 

“Rin, are you alright?” Shirou asked. 

“Yeah, Goldie just got me a bit worked up.” Rin said, rather ashamed at her outburst. The Tohsaka way was to always maintain elegance—to always have a level head and proceed in an elegant fashion. An outburst of that level wasn’t elegant in the slightest. 

“I’m worried about Arturia, too.” Shirou said. 

“As am I.” Saber concurred. “Although, I think we should take it easy on that guy.” 

“Why? Why does he deserve special treatment?” Rin huffed. 

“You remember his legend, right? The legend of King Gilgamesh? What was the event that threw his entire life into disarray?” Saber asked. 

“That was...the death of his best friend.” Rin said. 

“Exactly. I don’t doubt that he knows how to handle loss, but I think it’s something he’d want to avoid at all costs. That king doesn’t have many people he loves, losing even one of them would be devastating to him.” Saber concluded. 

Rin understood. She’d lost her entire family within a year. Arturia was now the closest thing to family that she had left, especially now that they knew each other as mages. “Damnit, don’t make me empathize with him…” Rin grumbled. 

Outside, Gilgamesh sat on the roof. _‘Arturia, can you hear me?’_ He communicated mentally with his master, not knowing if she could even hear. _‘Come nightfall, I and your mongrel friends are coming to rescue you. I do not know what is happening to you right now, but stay strong.’_

Of course, there was no answer. 

—-

 _‘—I do not know what is happening to you right now, but stay strong.’_ Arturia’s servant’s voice rang in her head. 

The spot between her legs ached. That witch’s curse had lit her entire body on fire. She rubbed her legs together and gasped. Her body only ached more when Gilgamesh’s voice rang inside her head. She panted for air. That witch had promised her no release until she submitted, which she would never do. She was still fending off Caster’s mind control spell with her reserves of mana, which were steadily draining. 

‘Stay strong…’ Arturia thought to herself. ‘I must stay strong.’ But Caster’s spells ate at her mind, and the heat of pleasure coming from her own body made it nigh impossible to think. It was only the last remnants of her pride keeping her from submitting to the witch. 

The amount that she’d been begging for release in her mind shamed her. She felt sinful for these desires. Most of all, she felt the crushing weight of her pride being sullied, her honor being compromised. She didn’t know if she wanted to murder that horrible witch or fuck her. Her body was screaming for the latter. 

And for some reason, she couldn’t get the thought of her servant out of her mind. Him and his stupid, perfect body and stupid, handsome face and stupid, charming manner. That stupid, sultry voice of his that made her heart race. The desire she was feeling was overwhelming. 

‘I can’t hold on much longer…’ Arturia thought in despair. ‘Caster, please come soon…’ 

—-

As the sun set, Gilgamesh, Rin, Shirou, and Saber made their way to the church. They met Archer outside, who was guarding. 

“Let me fight him.” Shirou said. “He’s the me from the future...a me I will always reject. I must be the one to fight him.” 

“Saber was supposed to fight him. What about the strategy?” Rin said. 

“I’ll stay out here and oversee their fight. Even if Shirou loses, I absolutely won’t allow Archer into the church.” Saber said. 

Rin nodded. It was only a minor change of plans. 

“Archer, step aside. Me and Caster are going inside.” Rin demanded. 

“Go ahead. My battle is here.” Archer said. As long as he could kill Shirou and his ideals, he didn’t care what else happened. 

Rin and Gilgamesh walked to the church doors. As Gilgamesh passed Archer, he snarled. “Faker, if the mongrel and Saber don’t finish you off, I will.” 

“I’m looking forward to it.” Archer said, uncaring. 

As Gilgamesh and Rin entered the church, they were shocked to find it in ruins. 

“Honestly, attacking the overseer...there just isn’t a rule in this war Caster won’t break. I never liked Kirei but I wouldn’t say I wanted him to die. Then again, if there isn’t a body, I have a feeling he’s still alive and kicking somewhere.” Rin said, studying the ruins. 

“Come, they are in the basement.” Gilgamesh said, leading Rin down a flight of stairs. Gilgamesh moved his hand to open the door, but hesitated slightly. 

“You’re hesitating. Are you scared?” Rin asked. 

“Scared?! Of course not!” Gilgamesh said, slighted. “I just wonder...in what state will we find Arturia?” 

“I’m worried too.” Rin said. “But even if she’s battered and bruised, we can’t allow ourselves to falter. Both of us need to focus on the battle, no matter how Arturia looks. We both love Arturia a lot, but we can’t freeze when we find her.” Rin said. 

Gilgamesh nodded, and pushed open the door. 

They did find Arturia, and when they did, they both forgot their earlier conversation and froze completely, jaws dropping to the floor. 

Arturia stood on a pedestal, arms held up in the air from magic so potent that it was visible. She was wearing a lily white dress, similar to a wedding gown. She was forced into a pose where she was completely bent over. The back of her dress was hiked up to her waist, allowing full view of Arturia’s ass. Her face was flushed and she was panting, seemingly unaware of what was going on around her. 

“Ah, so you’ve arrived.” Caster said, coming from around Arturia. “Worry not, I’ve kept this precious girl company all the while. I’m taking my time to break her and force her to become my pet. However, she’s quite stubborn. To think a human could resist a mind control spell for an entire day, honestly, I wish I had a command spell to control her.” 

“Arturia would never submit to the likes of you, right Caster?!” Rin yelled. 

“Uhhhh...yeah…” Gilgamesh’s eyes were still glued to Arturia’s rump. 

“I see you’re a fan of my pet’s new outfit. It’s the perfect attire to break her in—a virgin maiden should be in a pure white dress when she’s corrupted.” Caster said and stroked Arturia’s backside from her wet inner thighs to the center of her ass. Arturia let out a high pitched noise in response. 

A moan. 

She moaned. 

Arturia totally moaned. 

Both Gilgamesh and Rin sputtered at the sight, the former shaking with pure need. 

Rin shook her head and slapped her cheeks, forcing herself to focus. “Get ready Caster, you’re about to face a king!” She yelled. Nothing happened. There was silence. “King of Heroes, That was your signal!” She whispered to Gilgamesh. 

There was no response. Gilgamesh was completely silent, the only signs that he was alive were his shaking body, his flushed face, and his... 

Rin slapped Gilgamesh hard on the cheek, forcing him to wake up. “Pull yourself together! This is no time to be getting a boner!” 

“I see we have a kindred spirit.” Caster said, noticing the bulge in Gilgamesh’s pants. 

Gilgamesh regained some consciousness. “You...what are you planning to do with my wife?!” 

“Silly man, my pet can’t be your wife.” Caster grinned. “As for what I am planning to do with her...well, I’m going to break her, of course. I’m going to enslave this pure knight. I’m going to slowly corrupt her mind with pleasure until she’s on the floor begging to serve me. I’ll turn her into a slave that only lusts for pleasure. Of course, I won’t do something as crude to her as rape. No, I wouldn’t want to take her virginity. I wish for her to be a virgin controlled by lust, always seeking pleasure but never being sated.” 

“You bitch! Forcing her to feel pleasure but never giving release—that is worse than rape!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“In what world is that worse than rape?!” Rin said. 

“Of course, once she’s my slave, I’ll use her as a distraction against Berserker. She’s certainly powerful as she is, but without a proper noble phantasm, she wouldn’t be able to finish Berserker off for good. However, with a good weapon and armor, I could use her as a distraction while I deal the finishing blows against that beast. I’ll have Archer’s help, of course.” Caster said. 

“I will not allow anyone to turn my wife into a slave or a pawn! Arturia deserves to sit by my side as queen of the world!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Are you two in love or something?” Caster asked. 

“No, he’s just delusional.” Rin said. 

“I am not!” Gilgamesh insisted. 

“But you are obviously attracted to this girl, no?” Caster groped Arturia once again, causing Arturia to moan and whimper. 

Gilgamesh was frozen once again, still hard as a rock. 

‘Dear god...we lost. The battle hasn’t started and we’ve already lost.’ Rin thought. She slapped Gilgamesh again. “Pull yourself together, Caster! You don’t see me going radio silent just because of a hot girl!” 

“That is easy for you to say! You are not a man! You have no idea what it is like to be overcome with masculine desire!” Gilgamesh fired back. 

“No idea…? No idea?! You think I’m not ‘overcome with desire’ right now?! You think I’m not attracted to her?! I wanna **** **** ***** until she ******! I wanna make her *** ** **** that she ****** ***! I want to ******** **** ***** like she’s my *****! But you don’t see _me_ getting erections and becoming useless because of it! Snap the fuck out of it!” Rin yelled. 

Gilgamesh was silent with shock. 

“I guess we have two kindred spirits.” Caster said. 

“Are you gonna pull it together and save Arturia, King of Heroes?! Or are you gonna watch her become some witch’s slave?!” 

This seemed to resonate with Gilgamesh. “I will save Arturia. I do not think my erection will go down, but I will still fight.” He said. 

“Well, it makes no matter. I’ll dispose of you two quick enough. Master, you can take care of the little girl, right?” Caster asked. 

“Yes, Caster.” Kuzuki said, stepping out of the shadows. 

“Good.” Caster turned to Gilgamesh. “It’s been a long time since I had a magic duel, care to show me what you have, o King of Heroes?” 

“You know who I am and yet you speak so confidently?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“The heroic spirit Gilgamesh isn’t tied to magecraft in the slightest. I don’t even know how it’s possible for you to be summoned as a caster. It’s only fair to assume that you’re a novice.” Caster said. 

“You are not incorrect. I am no proper mage. However I have the might of Uruk behind me, you will be surprised at what the will of a king can do.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Apparently the will of a king can drive a man to fight while having an erection.” 

“Kh…” Gilgamesh wasn’t happy with that being brought up, mainly because it was true. Dear lord, how many erections has he gotten from Arturia by now? Four? Arturia really was a troublesome girl. “No, it is the will of a husband that drives me to fight, and it is the will of a king that will allow me to defeat you. Prepare yourself, vile witch.” 

“I wonder what would happen if I did this again?” Caster stroked Arturia’s womanhood, making Arturia moan and rub her thighs together. 

Gilgamesh was momentarily stunned, but forced himself to focus. 

Only for Caster to stroke Arturia again (producing more delicious moans). 

“St-stop!” Gilgamesh literally couldn’t get harder than he already was. His erection was incredibly painful. 

“If you need a moment to go stroke one out, I’ll wait.” Caster said, smiling. 

“N-no! I will not bring myself so low as to masturbate!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Ha! Men are so weak.” Caster laughed. 

“King of Heroes, close your eyes and use your clairvoyance!” Rin yelled. “I’ll take care of Mr. Kuzuki!”

Thank god Rin was smart and useful. Gilgamesh closed his eyes, only to be bombarded with the sounds of Arturia’s moans from Caster groping her. “What do I do about the sounds?!” He yelled. 

“Pretend It’s me moaning!” Rin said. 

“Are you trying to make me flaccid?!” 

“Yes!” Rin yelled, about to run into battle against her teacher. 

“Mongrelette, take this.” Gilgamesh took a shield out of his Gate of Babylon and handed it to her. “Caster is strengthening his fists with magic, you will probably be killed if you get hit.” 

Rin took the shield and nodded. She readied her ten magic bullets. Kuzuki struck first, but Rin barely managed to block his fist with the shield, the force of the impact sending her stumbling backward. 

Caster flew into the air and shot beams of magical energy at Gilgamesh. He evaded them and had three wands fire from his Gate of Babylon. Caster flew to the left. ‘That level of power with multiple different noble phantasms...he shouldn’t have access to that!’ Caster thought. 

Gilgamesh smirked and brought out ten more wands. “As a novice mage, I believe I fare pretty well, no?” He fired them all at once. 

This was way more than Caster had anticipated. She projected a magical shield in front of her, but it was penetrated. She was seared with burns on multiple areas. “You…” 

Rin wasn’t doing as well as Gilgamesh. She was barely blocking Kuzuki’s strikes with her shield. ‘Damnit! Caster, Shirou, and Saber are busy! There’s only one person left that could help me.’ Rin turned to Gilgamesh. “Caster, can you cover me while I free Arturia?” 

“I would, but…” Gilgamesh was frozen, unable to fire his wands. Caster had her hands pointed at Arturia in a last ditch effort, threatening to kill her. 

“Just hold him off for a little while!” Rin said, groaning and stumbling back as she blocked another strike. 

Gilgamesh turned his wands to Kuzuki. 

“Fire at my master and I’ll kill the girl.” Caster said. 

Gilgamesh gritted his teeth. “Run now, Mongrelette!” He yelled and, instead of attacking Kuzuki, aimed his wands to fire at a nearby pillar in multiple areas, forcing it to collapse. 

Rin dropped the shield and took off running, strengthening her legs. Kuzuki followed after. One was fast enough to evade the pillar, the other wasn’t. 

“Master!” Caster shrieked and dropped everything to save him from the falling debris. 

Rin finally came to Arturia, forcing herself not to waste a moment admiring Arturia’s sweet ass. She examined Arturia’s magical bonds. ‘I think I can break them.’ She put her hands to the bonds and channeled mana into it, pouring in so much that the bonds broke. Arturia fell to the floor, still panting. ‘Caster said something about a mind control spell as well...to think Arturia managed to resist it for this long.’ She hovered her hand over Arturia’s head and nullified the mind control spell. 

Rin watched Arturia shakily open her eyes. She panted a few times in Rin’s arms. 

“Arturia, can you hear me?” Rin asked. Suddenly, Arturia wrapped her arms around Rin’s neck and pressed her lips onto Rin’s. Rin froze in shock, blush spreading across her face. The kiss felt amazing...but now wasn’t the time! Rin pushed Arturia off. “Arturia?!” 

Arturia seemed to adjust to her surroundings. She suddenly became aware of what she’d done. “Rin! I apologize! I wasn’t in my right mind!” She was still overcome by Caster’s lust spell, and was feeling incredibly horny right now. 

Rin was still blushing. “I-it’s fine.” Thankfully, Gilgamesh has been too distracted fighting to see the kiss. 

“What’s going on?” Arturia asked, looking around herself. 

“We’re in the middle of rescuing you. Caster is fighting, well, uh, Caster. He’s currently holding off Mr. Kuzuki to let me free you.” Rin said. She cleared her throat. “By the way, you didn’t happen to hear anything me and the Casters were talking about earlier, right?” 

“No, I was unable to think with the active spells.” 

“Okay, good.” Rin exhaled, still safely in the closet. She still didn’t know how Arturia would react if she learned about Rin’s attraction. However, today’s kiss was...very promising.

Suddenly, Rin was thrown out of the way by Arturia, who intercepted a punch from Kuzuki with her own strengthened fist. Arturia was blown to the ground from the impact while Kuzuki was knocked back a few steps. 

Arturia took rapid, shallow breaths. She didn’t have the mana for a proper fight like this, however, an intense battle was just the thing she needed to work off some of this pent up lust from Caster’s spell. 

Rin recovered from the shock of being thrown. She took out a magic bullet and threw it, yelling a word in German to activate it. Kuzuki was forced to retreat for the moment. 

“Caster, my sword!” Arturia called out, receiving no answer. 

“What on earth is holding him up?” Rin asked aloud. 

“What do you mean I am terrible at flirting and being around women?!” Gilgamesh asked, offended. 

“I mean that I’ve been watching you and you suck at talking to girls romantically. What girl would want to hear about how much you want to fuck her? Maybe behind closed doors some dirty talk like that can be appropriate, but in public and around her friends it just comes off as trashy.” Caster said. 

“Why would I take love advice from a woman like you? I already know your love history!” Gilgamesh asked. By now, they had momentarily stopped blasting at each other. 

“As a woman, I know how women think. And I can safely say that it’s more attractive when a man knows when to keep his mouth shut.” Caster said. “A guy that says inappropriate things at inappropriate times comes off more like sexual harassment than flirting.” 

“Sexual harassment…?” Gilgamesh felt a lightbulb flicker in his mind. He thought of Kay, and all the horrifically graphic and raunchy things that Kay says to him, then thought of the things he’s said to Arturia that caused her discomfort...were those two things related? Gilgamesh found Kay incredibly annoying when he harasses him, did Arturia feel the same way about Gilgamesh? Could all the things he’s said to Arturia be taken as harassment rather than compliments and flirting? 

Gilgamesh perhaps had just had an epiphany. 

“Did you two SERIOUSLY pause a servant battle to talk about _romance?!_ ” Rin yelled at the two Caster servants. 

“Shut up, Mongrelette! You know nothing!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“For fucks sake, Caster, just finish the battle!” Arturia screamed, fending off Kuzuki’s punches. 

“Fine! Ready yourself, Mongrelette.” Gilgamesh turned back to Caster. “I shall draw this battle to a close by showing you the might of Uruk. The sheer will of a king who became a mage to save his country. The power of humans to oppose gods. Melammu Dingir!” 

‘Ready yourself?! What kind of a warning is that?!’ Rin thought as Gilgamesh said the words to activate his noble phantasm. Rin tackled Arturia to the ground and threw three jewels into the air, saying a german word to activate them and turn them into a shield around herself and her friend. 

From under the shield, Rin and Arturia could hear the incredible sounds of “arrows” raining down upon them. ‘So these are the Dingirs...all the treasures Caster gave up to save his country.’ Arturia thought. Then, the shield cracked. “Is this shield going to hold?!” Arturia asked Rin. 

“I hope so! I just wasted my last three gems to make it!” Rin said. 

They were unable to see the noble phantasm for themselves through the crystal walls of the shield, but they could still feel its power. 

The shield broke a few seconds after the firing stopped. 

Caster walked on shaky legs to her dead master, who she had failed to protect at the last minute. “I suppose you’re leaving before me, Souchirou-sama. That’s okay, my wish had already come true.” She slowly disappeared into dust after this. 

The girls both took a deep breath in relief. Rin was the first to get up. “Honestly, couldn’t you have given me more warning before firing off your noble phantasm like that?!” 

“I did give you a warning.” Gilgamesh said. 

“We could have died! How reckless! I thought you cared about Arturia!” Rin said. 

“Of course I care about her. I entrusted her life into the hands of a first-rate mage. I had no doubts that you would be able to protect her.” Gilgamesh said. 

Rin’s face heated slightly. She cleared her throat. “Flattery will get you nowhere...but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.” 

Gilgamesh turned to Arturia. “Arturia, how are you?” 

“I’m fine. Thank you for coming to save me, Caster. 

“I’ll always come to save you. That is the duty of a husband.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia cleared her throat. “Mind telling me about… _that?_ ” Arturia pointed to the bulge in his pants. 

“Ah...well...you just look...very nice in that dress...and I do not think my erection will go down so long as you are wearing that dress after what I have seen.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What did you see?” Arturia asked. 

“You don’t have to joke, Arturia.” Rin said. 

“No, I mean it! What did you see?!” Arturia asked again. She had no memory of what happened before the battle. She had no idea if something had been done to her while she was under the lust spell. 

“Wait, you are serious?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes!” 

“We saw you totally moan after getting groped by Caster.” Rin said. 

Arturia’s face flushed. “I wasn’t moaning!” 

“Arturia, I have heard many moans in my lifetime. Those were definitely moans.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia furiously shook her head. “I wasn’t moaning! I was just in a lot of pain!” 

“Pain?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes! Just a lot of pain!” Arturia said. 

“You’re serious? You are not lying?” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’m serious!” 

Gilgamesh sighed. “Alright, it was painful, then. They sounded like moans to my dick at least.” 

“Well, your dick was just confused!” Arturia insisted. 

“I mean, they sounded like moans to me, too.” Rin said. 

“Your ovaries were also confused!” Arturia said. 

“They certainly were.” Rin mumbled. “Anyway, we better go see how Saber and Shirou are doing. By the way, Arturia, Archer betrayed us. Saber and Shirou are holding him off outside.” 

“That faker...I knew he was no good.” Gilgamesh grumbled. 

“Anyway, Arturia, we’re glad to have you back. You should have seen how worried Caster was! He almost threw a tantrum!” Rin laughed. 

Gilgamesh had a slight blush on his cheeks. “I was indeed very worried. I am glad to see you unharmed. I missed you, Arturia.” 

Arturia blushed. “Don’t say sentimental things like that to me while you have an erection, idiot…” she suddenly became very aware of Gilgamesh and his abs, which were out on full display in his servant clothes. She felt her heart race, she wished Gilgamesh would shove her to the wall again and kiss her. 

“Well, let’s go relieve Shirou and Saber from their duties.” Rin said. 

Rin, Arturia, and Gilgamesh walked up the stairs from the basement and out of the church. They found Shirou fighting Archer with projected swords. 

“It seems I don’t have much time left.” Archer said, looking back at Gilgamesh leaving the church. He knocked Shirou back with his blades. “If you won’t believe what I say, I’ll just have to show you where you end up. 

I am the bone of my sword 

Steel is my body and fire is my blood 

I have created over a thousand blades 

Unknown to death 

Nor known to life 

Have withstood pain to create many weapons 

Yet, these hands will never hold anything

So as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! This one was pretty short. The next one will be too. Anyway, does everyone understand now why I consider Gil and Rin to be the best comedic duo in the story? That conversation before the caster battle is one of my favorite in this entire fic! I hope this chapter was adequately funny! I loved writing it! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

The world was engulfed by fire, the reality marble projecting all around them. In a moment, they were within Archer’s world, a desolate wasteland of swords. 

Arturia stood amazed at the projection. A reality marble should have been impossible, it was more of a theory than actual magecraft. It meant Archer hadn’t been a swordsman or an archer in his life, but a mage. Shirou was holding Archer’s twin swords and his hands, looking beat up and tired. Archer was unscathed, but frustrated. “Caster, Rin, what’s going on?” Arturia asked. 

“Arturia, this is going to sound weird but hear me out, Archer is actually a counter guardian version of Shirou from the future.” Rin said. 

“Currently, they are having a battle to determine who is right—the ideal or the reality of the ideal. The mongrel is rejecting his future self and the supposed reality that lies ahead of him if he decides to pursue his ideal...or something like that, I do not actually care.” Gilgamesh said, shrugging. 

“Shirou Emiya, I will give you one last chance, kill yourself now. If you so vehemently reject me, the reality of your ideals, then destroy me at my roots.” Archer said. 

“Archer, could it be...you intend to erase yourself by killing Shirou?” Arturia asked. 

“Indeed. All I’ve been doing is reliving hell over and over again. Perhaps this could end it.” Archer said. 

“But you’re a counter guardian. You’ve been removed from time entirely, killing Shirou now won’t have any effect on you.” Saber said, who’d been standing behind Shirou and watching. 

“Perhaps. But it isn’t outside the realm of possibility.” Archer said. 

“Archer…” Rin looked on and watched her former servant. 

“Archer, that wish is mistaken!” Arturia said. 

“Oh? My wish is mistaken? You should be the last person saying that, Arturia.” Archer said. 

Arturia’s eyes widened. Her heart began to race. 

“I know not why you’ve appeared before me in this form, as a human, but you surely have the same wish, correct?” Archer said. 

‘He knows…’ Arturia bit her lip. Just as Arturia began to feel dizzy from exhaustion, Gilgamesh took her hand to steady her. 

Gilgamesh scoffed. He didn’t want this mongrel faker stressing out his wife. “I can probably rip a hole in this reality marble for us to escape. Let us leave this farce.” 

Arturia shook her head, wrapping her arms around Gilgamesh’s forearm and pressing it to her chest. “I must witness the conclusion to this battle.” She said. 

Gilgamesh was surprised to hear such resolve in her answer. He nodded his head and relented. 

Shirou and Archer clashed swords again and again. “Your second-hand ideals are nothing but a curse that Kiritsugu Emiya left you. You’re just copying what you believed was right. A hero of justice? To save everyone around you? It’s impossible! All your talk about wanting to help others wasn’t something you decided yourself. Thinking you could help others is nothing but hubris!” Archer destroyed Shirou’s swords and stabbed him in the leg. 

“Shirou!” Arturia screamed. She moved to interfere before Gilgamesh stopped her. 

“The mongrel was the one who said he wanted to fight. That is why Saber is standing and watching quietly. Let those fakers duel it out, it has nothing to do with us.” 

“Archer, isn’t that enough?!” Rin yelled. Archer ignored her. 

“Sorry, Rin. It won’t be enough until I beat this guy.” Shirou said. He scrambled away and projected another set of swords. He stood up from the floor, only for Archer to kick him back down. 

“You admired Kiritsugu’s wish because you found it beautiful. Consequently, you have no passions of your own. It’s nothing but hypocrisy! The way you’ve been running along with an obsession that you must give yourself for others is nothing but arrogance!” Archer stabbed Shirou. “Thinking that others are more important than yourself and wishing for everyone to be happy is nothing but a fairytale!” Shirou fell to the floor as Archer pulled his sword out of his abdomen. 

These words resonated with Arturia. The idea of suffering for others, was it really so wrong? Hadn’t that been what she’d been doing all along? Of course she didn’t want Shirou sacrificing himself for others, but it was different for her. Arturia had sacrificed herself for her people, people she was responsible for. Shirou sacrificed himself with no obligation to do so. It was different...wasn’t it? 

Arturia had chosen to become king, she chose to pull the sword from the stone. It had been her choice. ‘But wasn’t I born specifically to become king? Wasn’t I raised as a knight and not as a girl for that purpose? Didn’t Merlin communicate with me in my dreams to train me to take the throne?’ She tried to shake off those thoughts. Of course it was her choice to become king! Merlin had warned her before she pulled the sword from the stone, it’s not as if she was forced into this destiny. 

As much as she wished she could say that being king was something she wanted for herself, she couldn’t. She never ‘wanted’ to be king for herself. She never ‘wanted’ anything for herself. She only ‘wanted’ for other people. She wanted her citizens to be happy. She wanted peace for her kingdom. She wanted to protect Britain from invaders. Even her wish on the Grail, in the end, wasn’t something for herself. 

‘Have I ever done a single thing for myself? Have I ever made a decision based on what _I_ want?’ She wondered. 

Suddenly, Shirou stood up, his wounds healing in front of their eyes. 

‘Her scabbard...It’s providing him with protection even when she isn’t a servant.’ Archer thought. He threw his duel swords at Shirou, who blocked them by projecting his own swords. 

“I can’t be beaten by you! I can be beaten by other people, but I won’t be beaten by myself!” Shirou yelled. Shirou was barely still alive. Bones were broken in his body and he could barely breathe. 

“Pathetic! I can barely look at you anymore. The more you drive for this mistaken salvation, the more you are consumed by your own contradiction. You become a killer for hire! If you can’t understand that, then I’ll just wipe every trace of your existence from this world before a mistake like me can be born!” Archer lunged again and slashed at Shirou, who barely blocked it. 

Arturia watched them battle and thought of her own experiences. She once had a dream—an ideal she wanted to follow. The ideal wasn’t wrong, and yet, it ended in failure. Even if nothing remained but regrets at the end, she strove with all her might for her dream. When would that dream end? When she redid her reign? What if it turned out worse than it was before? What then? Would she seek the Holy Grail again? When would this cycle of wishes and regret end? 

“I know my wish is fake. But there’s beauty in it. Putting others before myself is hypocritical, I know that, but I admired that way of life, thinking it would be wonderful if I could live that way. Even if it’s foolish, I won’t turn back. I know my wish isn’t wrong!” Shirou yelled at Archer, charging with projected swords. 

Gilgamesh was scoffing in his mind throughout the entire battle. It was nothing but fakers using faker magic. The battle ended when Archer showed the slightest bit of hesitation. Gilgamesh didn’t care why. 

Just like that, the reality marble ended, and everyone was once again outside of the church. 

“I win, Archer.” Shirou said. 

“Yes, and I lose.” Archer said. “In any case, this matter has been settled. Now that I’ve accepted you, the heroic spirit EMIYA can no longer stay here. The defeated should take their leave. In any case, I’ve run out of mana without a master.” 

“Archer, make another contract with me!” Rin yelled running over to Archer. 

“No, this is where we part, Rin. I’ve lost.” Archer said. 

Rin shook her head. “But Archer—“ 

“Just shut up and let him die, we need it for plot convenience!” Gilgamesh called out. _“Ow!”_ He said as Arturia elbowed him in the side. 

“Shut up, they’re having a moment!” Arturia hissed. 

“You saw the ending to the battle, can we leave now?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Be patient.” Arturia said, like a mother shushing a whining child. 

Rin finished saying her goodbyes to Archer, and Archer finally disappeared. Rin couldn’t help but shed a few tears. 

“This was so boring that I lost my erection.” Gilgamesh said as they walked away from the church. 

“Wait...you had an erection?” Shirou asked. 

“You would have too if you saw what I saw!” Gilgamesh said. 

“What...what did you see?” Shirou asked, morbidly curious. 

Both Rin and Gilgamesh blushed, then cleared their throats. “Nothing.” They both said at the exact same time. 

Arturia’s face was flushed with embarrassment. Rin and Gilgamesh had seen her in such an embarrassing state. At least the battle she’d just witnessed had gotten rid of most of her pent up lust. Most. For some reason, she still couldn’t look Gilgamesh straight in the eyes. She also couldn’t look at him anywhere else, because his body was exposed in multiple places while he was in that battle outfit of his (her eyes kept trailing to his sculpted muscles). “Caster, could you change out of those clothes.” Arturia asked meekly. 

Gilgamesh looked at her with curiosity, then decided to comply. 

Arturia felt like she could breathe a bit easier when Gilgamesh was covered (though, it didn’t stop his face from being extremely handsome). 

“So, what’s with the dress, Arturia?” Shirou asked. 

“Caster put me in it. She wanted to dress me up like a pet.” Arturia said. 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you look beautiful.” Shirou said. 

“Yeah, you’re totally gorgeous!” Rin concurred. 

Arturia blushed. “Thank you.” 

“Indeed, you look very beautiful in that dress.” Gilgamesh said. 

For some reason, Arturia’s entire face started flushing when Gilgamesh complimented her. She only nodded in response, too embarrassed to say anything. She could barely look at him without feeling flustered. ‘It must be that witch’s lust spell.’ Arturia thought. She sighed lightly and tried not to think about the aching in her body. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Gilgamesh asked, and pressed his hand to her forehead. 

Arturia immediately panicked with him leaning so close to her. “I-I’m fine!” She yelled, with a squeak in her voice. 

“You do not look fine.” Gilgamesh said. 

“She’s probably just tired after all she’s been through today. I mean, she withstood an entire day of Caster’s torture. No one would feel in top shape after that.” Rin said. 

“Yes, I’m just a bit tired.” Arturia agreed. 

“Well, you will rest when we return home. I assure you that you will have no disturbances tonight. On my honor as a servant, and as a husband, I shall protect you.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia felt touched. “Thank you.” She tipped her head to the side and smiled. 

Gilgamesh smiled back, and in an instant, all she could do was blush. 

Arturia parted with her friends when she neared her neighborhood. She walked alone with Gilgamesh for the last stretch of street. 

Then, Gilgamesh tried to grab her hand. 

“Wh-what are you doing?!” Arturia asked. 

“I wish to hold your hand.” Gilgamesh said. “I know it is a rather intimate action for you, but I was very worried while you were gone, and I wish to hold your hand to reaffirm to myself that you are with me.” He said with sincerity. 

Arturia nodded. He really must have been worried, even Rin said that he nearly threw a tantrum over it. She decided she’d allow it for tonight. It wasn’t as if anyone was around at this late hour, and her friends had already left. She allowed Gilgamesh to take her hand. The connection of their hands felt warm and reassuring. She felt some tension leave her shoulders. She’d missed Gilgamesh more than she wanted to admit while she was with Caster. 

They finally reached her home. 

Arturia locked the door and took a deep breath. It had been a very long day for her. But, she was trapped as soon as she turned around. Gilgamesh caged her in his arms, pinning her to the wall. His knee rested between her legs, and his arms on either side of her. 

She was immediately frozen in stunned silence. Her heart was pounding to oblivion. Her voice caught in her throat, rendering her unable to speak. She gulped and took a shaky breath. Her face was entirely covered in a deep blush. 

Gilgamesh’s face was inches away from hers. She licked her lips, which suddenly felt dry. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He leaned in a bit closer, and seemed to be eyeing her lips. Was he going to kiss her? She hated that the idea of sharing a kiss with him didn’t repulse her. Actually, right now, the idea made her heart beat. 

Arturia didn’t seem to be resisting or showing signs that she disliked this, so Gilgamesh took that as a signal to keep going. 

He leaned in even closer, and Arturia prepared for a kiss, but at the last moment he stopped and went for her neck instead. He planted soft kisses on the sensitive skin of her neck, before escalating to nibbling and sucking. 

A moan bubbled out of Arturia’s throat, and the foreign sound shocked her. The voices she was making scared her, but the feeling of Gilgamesh nibbling on her neck felt so nice that she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

Her thighs began to ache, just like they had earlier whilst she was under Caster’s spell. She tried to rub them together, but instead only rubbed herself against Gilgamesh’s knee. The friction sent a jolt of electricity through her. She rubbed herself against him again, and again, and again. Her moans became louder and more unrestrained. She sought a release from the friction building up inside her. 

Gilgamesh kept lapping at her neck, gently nibbling at her exposed collarbones. Arturia whimpered, wishing her clothes weren’t restricting her.

Arturia then came to the realization that she was enjoying this. She was enjoying this tentative foreplay, and wanted more. At the rate they were going, the situation would likely keep escalating until they took it all the way and had sex, and she wouldn’t mind that outcome. That thought scared her. She wasn’t ready for this! And yet, her body kept greedily asking for more and grinding against him. She could barely keep her thoughts in order. 

She reached out and grabbed his shirt. “Stop...st..op…” She panted out. She tried to push him away, but her hands only gripped harder into the silky fabric of Gilgamesh’s shirt. 

Gilgamesh paused, and leaned out to look at her. “You are grinding against me and moaning, and yet you are asking me to stop? Do you want this or not?” 

Arturia flinched. His scrutinizing gaze felt like it was piercing her soul. “That witch…” 

“Did she put some sort of spell on you?” 

Arturia nodded. 

“So you lied? You said Caster tortured you with pain.” 

“You don’t understand…to be made to feel unwanted lust and pleasure against one’s own will is the greatest pain a knight can experience.” Arturia confessed. 

Gilgamesh huffed, then released her. 

Arturia stumbled slightly before regaining her footing. “You’re just letting me go? Even though you’re so horny?” 

Gilgamesh puffed air through his nose. “Do not mistake my actions for kindness or your knightly chivalry. I am releasing you because I already have my word that I would wait until you wanted it. To take you when your body wants it but your mind does not would be a half-assed victory that my pride would not allow. Do you understand? This is merely pride. Whether it is the pride of a king or a fool is up to you to decide.” 

Arturia appeared bewildered, but soon smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m going to go shower.” She walked past Gilgamesh and to the bathroom. “Caster...you’re a good friend.” She said. 

Gilgamesh stared at her, stunned. “I already told you, I am not your friend—!” By the time he finished his sentence, the door was already shut and locked, signaling the end of this conversation. He sighed and began to walk back to his room, hoping that his erection would go down. 

Suddenly, the phone rang from Arturia’s bedroom. After a few minutes of ringing, Gilgamesh decided that he would answer because Arturia was busy. He picked up the phone. 

_“Arty?! Where have you been?! I’ve been calling you all day!”_ Kay shouted over the phone. 

“This is Caster. Arturia is busy showering.” Gilgamesh said. 

_“Caster? So Arty’s okay? She hasn’t been answering the phone.”_

“She is safe. She was kidnapped last night, but her mongrel friends and I rescued her earlier tonight.” 

_“Jeez. Well, I’m glad she’s safe. I thought she got killed in the war or something. Man, how troublesome. I’ve been worrying all day.”_

“I’ve been in a similar state today. However, all is well now and Arturia is safe.” Gilgamesh sat down on Arturia’s bed. 

_“That’s good. Thanks for saving her.”_

“The only problem is that now, for reasons I refuse to explain, I am incredibly horny for her. However, she is still not ready to give herself to me. It is rather a pain. I already decided that she is mine, it would be much less of a hassle for her to just fall into my arms like a normal woman.” 

_“What do you mean when you say she’s yours?”_ Kay asked with an odd tone in his voice. 

“I mean that I already decided that we would get married. I decided that she would become my bride, my greatest treasure, the first day we met.” 

_“Treasure? Hold on, you’re telling me that you think of my sister like an object?!”_

“Not an object, a treasure.” Gilgamesh said, slightly irked by Kay’s tone. 

_“That’s the same thing with a nicer label! I know I don’t seem like the best brother, but even I’m gonna have a problem with a guy wanting to treat my sister like a trophy. Do you hear me? I’m the big boss at the end of the game that you have to beat before you get the princess!”_

“What?” Gilgamesh said, confused. 

_“Oh, you don’t understand video game references, huh? Uhhh, have you seen Star Wars?”_

“No.” 

_“Then I can’t make a reference to that either huh...what mangas have you read?”_

Gilgamesh gave Kay a quick list of the mangas he’s read. 

_“Really? Just shoujo? I can’t use any of that! Okay, how about this, tell me your True Name and I can probably reference something from your story.”_

“I suppose there’s no harm in letting you know. My True Name is Gilgamesh.” 

_“Gilgamesh? I can work with that! Okay, give me a moment to think.”_ Kay took a moment of silence, then he took a deep breath. _“Making an unwanted proposal and getting all bitter about being rejected, you’re basically just a one-note copy of Ishtar!”_

Gilgamesh jolted up. “HOW DARE YOU?!” 

_“Oh thank god.”_

“You’re comparing me...to Ishtar?!” 

_“Hell yeah I am! I'm not okay with someone wanting my sister as a trophy!”_

“I do not simply want a trophy! I want Arturia as a wife!” Gilgamesh said. 

_“Sounds like the same thing to me. It’s not only that you’re talking about my sister like an object, I don’t think you’re being totally honest.”_

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Now Gilgamesh was really starting to get angry. 

_“Answer me this: when Arturia was kidnapped, were you angry that someone was taking something ‘that belonged to you,’ or were you scared of losing her?”_

Gilgamesh opened his mouth to answer, but Kay had already begun asking another question. 

_“If Arturia were to die, would you lament that you’ve lost something entertaining, or would you grieve for her as someone you loved?”_

“That’s obvious!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

_“Is Arturia nothing but a source of entertainment, or do you genuinely love learning new things about her?”_

“You know my answer!” 

_“Then why aren’t you saying it out loud, coward?!”_

Gilgamesh was stunned at the sheer intensity of Kay’s voice. Kay used this opportune silence to continue. 

_“Is sex all you want from Arturia, or do you want to spend time with her? Does Arturia need to be entertaining every second of the day, or is her silent company enough to satisfy you? Would you be content simply owning her, or do you want her to love you back?”_

“Slow down!” Gilgamesh yelled. The problem was that the answers he was giving in his head sometimes didn’t match the answers he wanted to say out loud. It was incredibly frustrating. 

Kay didn’t show any signs of slowing down. _“Do you want her to love you back for your pride, or do you feel a genuine yearning for her love in your heart? Is what you want a submissive toy, or do you love Arturia as a person and as a woman? Is she nothing but an accessory, or do you feel you could rely on her to have your back as an equal?”_

“That is enough!” 

_“See? You’ve answered every one of my questions.”_

“I have not answered a single question!” 

_“Exactly. Your silence speaks volumes. The answers in your head don’t match what you know you would have answered in the beginning, right? Your feelings have totally changed and you don’t want to admit it! I knew my impression of you from yesterday wasn’t wrong. You don’t think of her just as a treasure anymore, you think of her as someone you can love and trust. Face it, Caster, you’re head over heels for her. I have one last question, and this time you have to answer: are you in love with Arturia?”_

This was a question that Gilgamesh had no doubts about. “Of course I am!” 

_“That’s what I thought.”_ Kay said. 

There was a click over the line and the call ended. 

‘That bastard hung up on me!’ Gilgamesh thought. He felt like a mess. He just experienced the argumentative equivalent of an extraterrestrial anal probing. Inside, he knew Kay was right. His feelings had changed since he first fell in love with Arturia. He had started learning that this morning when he realized that he was much more distressed about the idea of losing Arturia than he’d anticipated. 

‘Dammit.’ He thought and sat back on Arturia’s bed. ‘I have never seen a man win an argument by only asking questions.’ Gilgamesh rarely lost arguments. He could count on his fingers how many arguments he’d ever lost. But he was destroyed just now by this random human mongrel. How shameful. 

He laid back onto Arturia’s bed. It would be nice to sleep next to her tonight. To sleep with her safely in his arms. He’d be able to reaffirm her existence throughout the night, and not have to worry about her being taken again. Such needlessly romantic thoughts probably did show that he was head over heels for her. Honestly, he really got himself into a troublesome situation by meeting Arturia. Siduri would scold him for something like this. 

But it was all worth it. These troubled feelings were worth it if he was able to be by Arturia’s side. Truthfully, after today, the lack of sex barely felt like an issue anymore. He was just happy to have her safely beck with him. 

It brought into question an issue that had been nagging at the back of his mind. What would happen to them after the war? 

—-

Arturia sat in the bath relaxing. She felt the stress of the day being washed away by the warm water. She was also able to clear her head a bit, which she definitely needed after her rather… _stimulating_ experience with Gilgamesh. 

She wondered idly at what her perverted servant might be doing now. Perhaps he was reading manga like he usually did in his spare time. She giggled a bit thinking about the Babylonian king devouring shoujo mangas that belong to her brother. Her servant really was an amusing man, despite being rather troublesome. 

She was still feeling the lustful effects of whatever spell she’d been put under. Her core still ached for release. In short, she was feeling horny. It was strange, though. Her lust for Rin had totally subsided after watching Shirou’s fight with Archer. But her aroused feelings for Gilgamesh still remained. It was strange, indeed. 

Arturia knew, of course, what the natural solution was for these feelings. She recommended it to her servant all the time—masturbation. She could easily get rid of these feelings by masturbating. But what about her ideals! She believed that kings shouldn’t give in to their lusts! ‘Isn’t that the same as the dumb excuses Caster gives?’ Arturia lamented. 

She gave a loud sigh. She supposed that tonight would be the first night she tried masturbating. She knew vaguely how it was supposed to work. She’d heard that the area that should be focused on was the clitoris. She moved her hand to her private area and hesitated for a moment, before finally searching around. 

As she was searching for her clitoris, she already felt ashamed. She was a knight, she wasn’t supposed to be doing this. What would her fellow knights of the round think? Then again, it seemed like other kings didn’t make an effort to avoid sex. Actually, it seemed like other kings found sexual desires to be completely normal and acceptable. It was almost like she was the strange one for viewing sexual acts as entirely unnecessary unless one is seeking a child. 

Arturia suddenly felt a small jolt run through her. She’d found a sensitive area near the top of her womanhood. ‘Is this it?’ She wondered. She rubbed it again and winced at the strong stimulation. She was hit with sudden embarrassment, wondering if she should go any further. ‘How can people even do this? It’s so embarrassing!’ 

Most people masturbate in search of pleasure. Arturia was not one such person. She was always concerned about functionality rather than personal satisfaction. Even now that she was attempting to masturbate, she was only attempting to find release for the pent up lust she had for her servant. It would be easier to face him, especially after the encounter they’d just had. 

She took a deep sigh. She was thinking too much about this. She needed to just masturbate and get out of the bath. Steeling herself, she began to rub the sensitive area between her legs. She tried not to stop despite how sensitive it was. It took a few minutes before it started feeling good. She was once again panting and letting out small breaths. It reminded her of the heated moment she’d shared with Gilgamesh earlier in the halls. She moaned thinking about it while rubbing herself. 

Wait, no! She can’t be masturbating while thinking of Gilgamesh! What would he think if he knew she was doing such a thing! He wouldn’t mind, in fact he’d be happy—and incredibly smug about it. Just the thought of his smug smile irritated her (and oddly aroused her). She forced all thoughts of Gilgamesh out of her head. 

When she began to moan, she covered her mouth with her free hand. She felt tension begin to swell in her stomach. Something was building up—something hot and tight. She felt like she was climbing up a cliff, and that something was awaiting her at the top. She felt close—very close to some sort of release. She started to understand the appeal of masturbating. Then—

“ARTURIA!!!” A deep voice from the other side of the door yelled, followed by a series of knocks on the door. 

Arturia stopped everything she was doing. Her heart sank into a deep abyss. Why was he here? Was she too loud?

“You’ve been in there for a while now. Are you doing okay?” Gilgamesh asked from outside. 

Why? Why now? Why did he have to come check on her now if all times—just before release…? 

“Are you awake? Did you fall asleep in there?” Gilgamesh asked after not receiving a reply. 

“I-I’m awake.” Arturia finally said. “I’m coming—I mean—I’m almost finished—wait, no!—for fucks sake I’ll be out soon!” She ended her sentence with a crescendo. 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.” Gilgamesh said from outside. 

Arturia heard light footsteps leaving the door and disappearing somewhere near the kitchen. She began to step out of the tub on admittedly shaky legs since she just got blue-labed. She wrapped herself in a towel. Then, in her blue-labed fury, she turned around and kicked a bottle of shampoo so hard that it almost cracked the wall. “I don’t even want it anymore!” She yelled in frustration. 

She knew that Gilgamesh would hear and probably get worried, but she didn’t care. She finally masturbated for the first time, satisfying a long-standing curiosity, and was stopped right before release. She ripped her towel off, stood under the shower head, and poured shockingly cold water over her head. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, but it took the edge off the tension she felt from what was almost an orgasm. 

Arturia dried herself off once again, changed into some pajamas, and stepped out of the bathroom. She was greeted with the smell of...pizza? 

“You are finally out. You have not eaten since last night, so I took the liberty of ordering something from a flyer I found in your brother’s room.” Gilgamesh said, sitting at the table. 

That was...incredibly thoughtful of Gilgamesh. It almost made Arturia feel bad about her initial wish of wanting to pummel him in the face. “Thank you.” She said. Her stomach began to growl. Come to think of it, she was incredibly hungry. 

Arturia sat down at the table across from Gilgamesh and opened the box of pizza. It was untouched and still hot. She grabbed a slice from the box and took a bite. It tasted so good after a long day with no food. She continued eating, trying to keep herself under control. 

“Do not bother with manners for now. Go ahead and dig in. You have not eaten for an entire day.” Gilgamesh said. 

Maybe he wasn’t a blue-labing bastard, but actually a saint? Arturia didn’t think much of it before digging into the food and eating ravenously. 

Gilgamesh watched her and smiled a little. He’d missed all her quirks. Even watching her eat like an animal was adorable now. Damn, he really was head over heels. 

After Arturia’s first two slices, she was finally able to slow down. “You’re not going to eat?” Arturia asked. 

“Eating food that is not yours has always been disappointing in this era.” Gilgamesh said. 

“You haven’t even tasted it yet. Just give it a taste at least.” 

Gilgamesh rested his cheek on his fist. “I’d rather not.” 

“Fine, how about I feed you a slice? Then will you try it?” Arturia asked. 

That got Gilgamesh curious. Couples feeding each other was common in romance manga. He rather liked the idea of being fed like her husband. “Fine.” 

Arturia picked up a slice of pizza and leaned over the table. “Say, ‘ahh’.” 

“Ahh.” A small portion of the pizza was placed in Gilgamesh’s mouth. He took a bite. After chewing, he made his decision. “It is not terrible, but it is rather heavy in flavor.” 

“I’m not a huge fan of greasy foods like that either, but I think it’s nice once in a while.” Arturia smiled. 

“I wouldn’t mind finishing it if you fed the rest of it to me.” 

Arturia pouted. “I’m not going to sit here and feed you all night like your mother. I have my own food to eat. If you won’t finish this slice, I’ll go ahead and finish it.” Arturia began to eat the slice of pizza. 

Gilgamesh looked faintly disappointed for a moment, but soon smiled. “I really missed eating with you while you were gone.” 

Arturia’s face lit up with blush. “Ah, well, I suppose I missed you too. 

Then, Gilgamesh did something strange in that moment—he laughed. 

“Why are you laughing at me?!” Arturia asked. 

“It is not you, I just feel very strange after hearing that.” Gilgamesh said with a grin. 

Arturia didn’t understand. She figured it was just one of her servant’s weird habits and brushed it off. 

“By the way, your brother is rather good at arguing, isn’t he?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Arturia was slightly surprised at the question. “Oh yes, I've never beaten Kay in an argument. Even when I’m right, I don’t win. It was like this in my last life too. Kay has always been amazing with his words.” 

Gilgamesh had figured. 

Arturia ended up eating half of the pizza before putting it away for later. 

“Well, I guess it’s time for me to sleep. Goodnight, Caster.” Arturia said. 

“Wait. I insist I sleep in your room from now on.” Gilgamesh said with a serious look. 

“What?!” 

“I slept in the room next to you last night and you were kidnapped. Something like that could easily happen again. I don’t want to make the same neglectful mistake.” 

“Caster, I already told you, there’s not enough room on the bed!” 

“Then I will sleep on the floor.” 

It dawned on Arturia that Gilgamesh was really being serious, and that he wasn’t flirting. “You’ll sleep on the floor?” She asked. 

“Yes.” 

Arturia sighed. “Fine. I’ll get a futon from the closet.” She walked over to her linen closet and grabbed a futon. She walked back to her room before noticing something was strange. She backed up a few steps. “Caster, why is there a hole in my wall?” 

Gilgamesh looked rather embarrassed at the question. “Well...I got rather emotional when I realized you were missing...and I may have accidentally touched the wall with my fist...and my fist went right through it.” 

Arturia huffed. “I’ll have to hire someone to fix that later. Just so you know, you’re paying for the repairs.” 

“Yes, of course…” 

“Well, come on.” Arturia laid the futon out on the floor. “This is where you’ll sleep from now on.” 

Gilgamesh nodded his head. “Arturia, before we sleep, I must ask you something. Why are you so low on mana at the moment?” 

Arturia looked slightly downcast. “Caster used a spell to drain my mana. But don’t worry, she’s dead now. I should be replenished quite a bit by the morning, especially with a good night's rest.” 

“Alright, good. I used up most of my own mana during my fight with Caster. I will need your mana if I am to fight again.” 

“Don’t worry, if I rest tomorrow I should be full again by the next day. My mana replenishes fast.” Arturia said. “Well, goodnight Caster.” She climbed into bed. 

“Goodnight, Arturia.” Gilgamesh flicked off the lights and laid down on the futon. 

Soon thereafter, Gilgamesh was sound asleep. Arturia, however, was having trouble. She couldn’t get over the fact that Gilgamesh was in her room. She almost wished he would try to come into her bed or something...wait, no! Those were weird thoughts! She can’t be thinking that! She tried to shake off all her perverted thoughts and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, another finished! Things are gonna start heating up in the next chapter! Next chapter is also the lesbian mana transfer scene ;) so look forward to that. Anyway, the semester just started for me, so my updates will be a bit slower. But don’t worry! I’ll still update for y’all! I can’t give up, some of my favorite scenes are just a few chapters away! 
> 
> I hope you’re all staying safe! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

The young girl gently brushed the mane of a beautiful brown horse. She stroked the horse’s head. “Sorry. Today, I woke up late. I cannot take my time with you, or Ector will surely yell at me.” She apologized. The horse whinnied in response. She smiled, she considered her horses to be beloved friends. 

She finished brushing the mare and put the brush away. She’d already fed each horse and had given them water. Now was time to train. She stuffed a piece of bread in her mouth and ate it as quickly as she could. 

She ran out of the stables to greet her caretaker, the father who never allowed her to call him ‘father,’ Sir Ector. “You are late this morning, Artorius.” 

“I apologize for my conduct, I overslept. But aside from that, today will be the first day I land a hit on you!” Arturia said with a gleam in her eye. 

“You say that everyday, child.” Ector said. 

“Yes, but I mean it this time.” Arturia grabbed the wooden sword from the ground. 

About two hours later, Arturia rubbed the bruises on her arms. “Ector sure gave me a beating today.” She lamented. What was even worse was that she didn’t land a hit this morning either. 

“That’s because you woke up late. If you simply slept more at night, you could avoid such beatings.” Arturia’s brother Kay said. 

“Worry not, brother—I sleep from dawn till sunrise.” Arturia smiled. 

Kay sighed. He was her brother by bond, not by blood. He was Ector’s son, and her adoptive brother. She came to this family at the age of five, with Kay being a few years older than her. “That’s hardly three hours, you know.” 

“Well, someone must patrol the town. It might as well be me.” 

“Such obstinacy from my younger brother, honestly.” Kay shook his head. “Go ready the horses, we’re going into town to run errands for father.” 

Arturia grinned and nodded her head. She ran off to the stables and readied the horses. She served as her older brother’s squire, being the younger child. Though, it was a bit strange to her considering her brother had never beaten her in a duel. 

Kay and Arturia rode off into town. They came to a trot on the outskirts of the village and hopped off their horses. 

“Everyone looks so busy.” Arturia said. 

“It looks like they’re preparing for a festival.” Kay said. 

“Really?! Do you think Ector will let us go?” 

“Perhaps if we got on our knees and begged.” 

“No way! I couldn’t possibly put myself in such a compromising position! Oh, but I do so love the village festivals.” Arturia sighed. 

“I was only joking. I’m sure father will allow us to come.” 

“I hope so.” 

They left their horses in a nearby stable. Arturia noticed the stableboy staring at her, so she waved. Strangely enough, the boy turned red before waving back. 

“You confuse too many boys in this town.” Kay said. 

“What do you mean?” Arturia asked. 

“Your girlish charm is too strong for a young boy. You’d confuse the heart of any strapping young lad.” 

“I don’t really get it. I don’t think I have very much ‘girlish charm.’” 

“You do. I can see it. When you go to town, you’re just like any other girl your age.” Kay said. He suddenly looked a bit distant. “Don’t you ever think about living a normal life? About finding some young man to fall in love with and running away with him? You could get married and start a family. Hell, maybe you could charm a rich lad with your pretty face and live a comfortable life with lots of good food and nice clothes.” 

Arturia suddenly looked wistful. She smiled softly, then shook her head. “I have no wish other than this. I know my destiny.” 

Kay just watched his younger sister. “I see,” was his rather unremarkable reply. “Let’s get on with the errands, Father will be expecting us home soon.” 

Arturia smiled. 

In town, she was no different from any of the other country girls. 

She was a normal girl her age. 

With a normal demeanor and a graceful smile. 

But she didn’t hesitate when it came time to pull the sword. 

“It’s better if you think it through before pulling that sword.” Merlin said. 

Arturia turned. “You surprised me. This is the first time we’ve met outside of a dream, isn’t it, Merlin?” 

“After pulling that sword, you will stop being human. Not only that, but you will be hated by all kinds of humans and will reach a horrendous death.” The mage said. “Is that alright?” 

“No...many people were smiling so...certainly this path...I don’t think it’s the wrong one.” The sword was pulled clean out of the stone. 

—-

The alarm clock sounded off in the room. Gilgamesh sat up from his futon and watched Arturia try to cover her ears with her pillow. “Do you wish for me to destroy it again?” He grinned. 

Arturia glared at him from underneath the fabric pillowcase. She finally forced herself to sit up and turned the alarm clock off. 

“Did you not sleep well?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Of course not! How could I sleep well with a man in my room?!” 

“You still do not trust me after all this time? I feel insulted.” 

“That’s...not what I meant…” Arturia grumbled with a blush on her cheeks. 

“Hah?” Gilgamesh tilted his head. 

“Nothing! I said nothing! It’s time for breakfast!” Arturia jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen. 

Gilgamesh smiled to himself, standing up from the futon. He sat down at the table and waited, the sound of sizzling from the kitchen in the background. He inhaled through his nose. Whatever Arturia was cooking smelled wonderfully burnt, in normal Arturia fashion. He really missed her and this mundane way of starting the morning with her. She’d only been gone for a day, but it was enough to make him realize just how fortunate he was to be with her. 

‘I saw her before she was a king last night.’ Gilgamesh thought. They’d somehow managed to become close enough that even distant memories like that were shared. ‘I wonder what dreams I’ve shown her.’ 

Arturia finally emerged from the kitchen and set two plates down on the table. “Today, I made omurice.” Gilgamesh’s omurice had a message written on it, however. In ketchup, the omurice read, ‘thank you,’ with a small smiley face next to it. “Thank you for saving me. I don’t know how much longer I would’ve lasted in the hands of that witch. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be fully under the control of someone else. You stayed loyal to me as a servant and came to rescue me, and I’m thankful for that.” 

Gilgamesh grinned. “Of course I would come for you, Arturia. I have made it very clear that I love you. Moreover, I could not stand the idea of someone hurting you.” Gilgamesh took a bite of the omurice with his chopsticks. It was horribly burnt on the inside and the egg was incredibly bland, yet he still smiled as he chewed. “You were very cute as a kid, you know.” 

“A kid? What do you mean?” 

“I saw some of your earlier memories, from before you became king. 

Arturia seemed slightly surprised. “From back when I was just a squire?” Her eyebrows crossed. “You’re invading my privacy by looking at those memories. What a troublesome servant.” 

“You were much purer back then. More cheerful and innocent.” 

“I was young and naive. I had yet to see war, famine, death, or hatred. I was truly ignorant back then...but they are some of my most cherished memories. Living as a simple squire for my brother, tending to the horses, attending village festivals, and training with a sword—it was a simpler life back then.” 

“Indeed. It must have been a nice time for you. I have seen the rest of your life, and it was definitely much more peaceful than your adult life.” Gilgamesh said. 

“It was. Though, I’m sure the same could be said for many people. In most cases, being an adult is more difficult than being a child.” 

“Yes. Adults certainly live more complicated lives than children do.” Gilgamesh put his chopsticks down and rested his chin on his interlaced fingers. “Have you seen anything interesting about me in your dreams?” 

“Interesting? Hmm, well I saw a lot of memories you had with your friend, Enkidu. They seemed like a wonderful person, I would have liked to meet them.” 

“I wish you could have met them as well. I am sure you two would have gotten along.” 

Arturia smiled. “But you’ve also been showing me some very strange things. I’ve seen more than a few sex scenes because of you.” 

“Oh really? So you know how good I am in bed?” 

“I also know where you started.” 

“Where I started?” 

“I saw your first time.” 

Gilgamesh jolted out of his seat. “You WHAT?!” 

Arturia was a bit stunned by the sudden movement, but was then overcome with the urge to tease him. “Mhm. I saw you lose your virginity. It was on the night you were officially crowned king, on some special holiday. You weren’t even a teen yet. It was with a priestess, so she was a lot older than you too. You were so nervous back then, it was actually kind of cute.” 

Gilgamesh was entirely red in the face. He tried to calm himself down, but couldn’t quell the embarrassment of Arturia seeing him at a time when he had no experience. “You…I have grown quite a bit since then, I will have you know.” 

“Of course I know that. You’ve grown in many ways since then. I’m just saying that it was refreshing to see you so nervous and pure.” 

Gilgamesh grimaced. “At least I will be able to watch you lose your virginity as well.” 

“What do you—HEY!” Arturia snapped. “It isn’t certain that we’ll sleep together!” 

“We came pretty close last night.” 

Arturia’s face heated up just thinking about it. “That doesn’t count! We haven’t even kissed yet!” 

“That is indeed a sad truth, but worry not, I will give you plenty of kisses once you accept me.” Gilgamesh grinned. 

Arturia imagined kissing his perfect lips and blushed. “As if that would happen. Hurry up and finish your food.” 

Gilgamesh sat back down and continued eating his omurice. “You know, I really missed this.” 

Arturia looked up from her food. “What?” 

“Eating your terrible food, bantering with you, teasing you, I really missed being able to be with you like this. Yesterday, every hour you were gone felt agonizing. Without you, I will admit, I felt lonely.” 

Arturia’s expression softened. “I missed this too. I’m glad we’re able to talk like this again.” 

Another question was brought up like a looming cloud. What would happen when the war is over and Gilgamesh disappears? Gilgamesh will at least have the mercy of losing his memories and returning to the throne of heroes, while Arturia would return to Britain to redo her reign. Would she just have to forget him and live on? It wasn’t as if that would be difficult, she was used to suppressing her emotions, but she was sure she would miss him. 

Gilgamesh had concern in his eyes. “Arturia, you are not regaining mana. Is something wrong—?” 

There was a loud pounding on the door. Someone was desperately knocking. Arturia stood up and opened the door. It was Rin outside with a distressed look on her face. 

“Arturia, we need help. Shirou’s been kidnapped!” Rin said. 

“What?!” Arturia said. 

“He went out to buy groceries at the store alone this morning like an idiot and never returned. We searched around for him in the shopping district and couldn’t find him. Saber said he was having trouble contacting Shirou mentally as well. I have a hunch on who did it, but I need to confirm with Caster.” Rin explained. 

“Caster? Why would he know anything about it?” Arturia asked. 

“Um…” Gilgamesh stood awkwardly near the door. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Caster, this is an emergency!” Rin yelled. 

“You really think I give a shit about that mongrel?!” Gilgamesh exclaimed. 

“Caster, what’s Rin talking about?! I care about Shirou too, if you know something about his kidnapping, I demand you tell us!” Arturia said. 

Damn. Gilgamesh was really trapped if it was Arturia asking him. His face was set in a frown and his eyebrow twitched. “Berserker’s master took him. They are in a castle in the forest.” 

“I knew it!” Rin exclaimed. 

“Caster, how did you know that?” Arturia asked. 

“He has clairvoyance.” Rin said, answering the question before Gilgamesh had time to speak. 

“WHAT?! Since _WHEN?!_ ” Arturia asked. 

“Since always. He used his clairvoyance to help us find you when you were kidnapped. He hasn’t told you because he thinks clairvoyance is ‘boring.’” Rin said. 

“Caster!” Arturia turned to Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh wasn’t even trying to hide his guiltiness anymore, and let it show plainly on his face. “Clairvoyance is a boring ability. I do not wish to spoil future events. Life would be incredibly tedious if I did so.” 

“Caster, clairvoyance would have been useful to us!” Arturia said. 

“I used it in an emergency like when you were missing! Other than that I see no need to use it!” 

“Both of you shut up! We gotta go save shirou! You two can quarrel about Caster being a dumbass later!” Rin said. 

Arturia acknowledged this and realized that Rin was right. She forced herself to calm down. “Okay, how far is the castle?” 

“It’ll be a six hour walk to get to the other side of town, then a four hour walk through the forest to the castle. But, well, Saber has us covered.” Rin said. 

Just then, a car pulled up to the house and parked at the side of the road. The windows rolled down to reveal Saber in the driver’s seat. “What’s up.” He said with a glint in his smile. 

“Where the hell did you get a car?!” Arturia said, running up to the vehicle. 

“Oh you know...we borrowed it.” Rin said. 

“‘Borrowed’?!” Arturia said, noticing the wires dangling out from under the steering wheel. 

“Don’t worry, Arturia-sama, my riding skill is A rank!” Saber said. 

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” Arturia exclaimed. 

“Arturia, do you really want to walk for ten hours? Or do you want to go for a simple two hour drive? Which do you think is better for Shirou’s safety?” Rin said. 

Arturia sighed. “Alright. I’ll overlook this for now.” 

“Worry not, I swear on the name of King Arthur that I will repay the owner of this car.” Saber said. 

Arturia looked suspicious, so Rin stepped in. “I made sure that the person had insurance before taking the car. They aren’t losing anything.” 

Arturia sighed again. “Alright.” 

Before Arturia could step into the car, Gilgamesh grabbed her shoulder. “Arturia, I need to talk to you.” 

Arturia nodded and walked back to the house, out of hearing range from Rin and Saber. “What is it?” 

“You have not regained any mana since last night. I used up all my own mana fighting Caster yesterday. We do not have enough mana for a fight right now. I am mostly concerned about the fact that you did not regain any mana throughout the entire night despite having a magic core.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I don’t know, Caster. I should have regained some mana by now since I slept and ate well. I don’t know why I didn’t. The most we can do is hope for the best.” Arturia said. 

“Arturia, what I am saying is that it may be necessary for me to get mana from another source.” 

“No! You are absolutely not allowed to soul-eat!” 

“Even if it is necessary for your and your mongrel friend’s safety?!” 

“Yes! We’ll figure something out that doesn’t involve eating souls!” 

“Hey, both of you, cut the sex talk and hurry up!” Rin yelled from the car. 

“We don’t have time to eat any souls anyway. Let’s just go and work something out later.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh grimaced and followed Arturia to the car. 

Rin sat in the passenger seat while Arturia and Gilgamesh sat next to each other in the back seat. 

“Alright, does everyone have their seatbelts on?” Saber asked from the driver's seat. 

Arturia reached over Gilgamesh’s seat and fastened his seatbelt for him. 

“I am a servant, do I really need a seatbelt?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes, you do. I don’t want you getting in any injuries before a potential fight.” Arturia said. 

“Alrighty, let’s get going.” Saber said and put the car in drive. 

Saber’s riding skill truly was superb. His brakes were smooth, his turns were perfect, his stops were soft—he was the perfect driver. 

After about an hour, Saber spoke up. “I’m sensing that Shirou is in danger. I think we should take a shortcut.” 

“A shortcut? How much time will it save?” Rin asked. 

“We can be there in about 15 minutes.” Saber said. 

“A seventy-five percent reduction? That sounds too good to be true. Where is this shortcut?” Rin said. 

“The fastest way to get from point A to point B is to go in a straight line.” Saber said. 

“A straight line? But we’re on a mountain?” 

“Exactly.” Saber made a sharp turn with the wheel and drove right through the safety railings. 

Both Arturia and Rin shrieked at the sudden movement. “AH! What the fuck?!” Rin yelled. 

The car was going at an immense speed down the slope of the mountain. Arturia and Rin couldn’t hold in their screams every time the car went up and down while driving down the steep mountain side. Then the car went through what felt like a free fall, causing the girls to shriek. 

Gilgamesh wasn’t particularly worried, but he saw this moment as an opportunity. He wrapped his arms around Arturia’s body. “Kya~so scary! Arturia, hold me!” He held her to his body tightly in a hug. 

Arturia was too frightened to even push him away. In fact, his hold on her body was slightly comforting. 

“Saber! Saber, there’s a tree! THERE’S A FUCK TON OF TREES IN THAT FOREST WHY ARE YOU STILL DRIVING TOWARDS IT?!” Rin yelled. 

“I can navigate through the trees with my riding and instinct abilities. Don’t worry.” Saber said. 

“I’M INCREDIBLY FUCKING WORRIED YOU DUMB FUCKER!!!” Rin screamed as the downward incline got steeper and they fell at a faster rate. 

Saber managed to slow the car down enough to drive on the flat land without crashing it. Then he began to navigate through the trees. 

Trees scraped at the sides of the vehicle as Saber sped through the forest. 

“RIN WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” Arturia yelled over the sound of trees hitting the sides of the car.

“SABER’S GOING TO KILL US!” Rin said. “AT LEAST SLOW DOWN IF YOU’RE GONNA DRIVE THROUGH A FOREST!” Rin yelled at Saber. 

“I apologize, but my master is in danger. I have no time to spare.” Saber said. 

The car drove off a large hill, and flew through the air before landing back on the ground. Arturia was actively hugging onto Gilgamesh now. 

The girls genuinely thought these might be their final moments. Rin lamented that she couldn’t appear elegant before her death. Arturia mourned her wish for the Holy Grail. Gilgamesh was just happy to be hugging his waifu. 

Finally, they made it through the thick forest and arrived on clear land. Saber halted the vehicle. 

When the car stopped, Rin immediately opened the door and vomited on the ground. 

Arturia took deep breaths and finally let go of her servant, exiting the vehicle. 

Gilgamesh sighed at being forced to release Arturia from his grasp. He’d wanted to cuddle her longer. 

When Saber stepped out, Rin approached him and punched him in the face. 

“I take it you didn’t like the drive?” Saber said, holding his hand to his bruised cheek. 

“Negative fifty out of five stars, would never drive with you again.” Rin said. 

Then, the car groaned behind them and, in an instant, the tires fell off. 

“I guess we’re walking back.” Rin said, putting her hand on her hip. 

“That mansion is huge.” Arturia said, looking in awe at the Einzbern castle. 

“Meh. It is many times smaller than my palace. Though, I would much prefer to live in a place like that as opposed to Arturia’s drab house.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia elbowed his arm. “We don’t need your dumb rich people talk.” She huffed. “Anyway, how are we going to find Shirou in that huge castle?” 

“Caster, of course.” Rin said. “He can use his clairvoyance to see what room Shirou is in. You can do that, right, Goldielocks?” Rin asked. 

“I can.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Alright. Let’s break into the Einzbern mansion!” Rin said. 

In order to break in, they had Saber create a distraction by breaking a window and dematerializing. Then, they snuck in through the front door. Saber met back up with them on the second floor. They let Gilgamesh lead them to the room Shirou was in. 

When they finally found the room and opened the door, they found Shirou struggling to escape a chair he was tied to. 

“Rin! Arturia! Saber! Uh, Caster!” Shirou said happily when he saw them. 

“I apologize for the long wait, Shirou.” Saber said, and went to untie the rope confining his master. 

“Look, It’s the dumbass of the hour.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Caster, shut up!” Arturia said. 

“Because of this mongrel, a peaceful breakfast with my wife was ruined.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Go fuck yourself, Caster.” Rin said. “Even if what you’re saying is entirely correct, it’s annoying when it comes out of your mouth.” 

“Everyone stop arguing. Let’s just get out of here.” Arturia said. 

The group made their way downstairs. They were nearly at the exit before— 

“Leaving so soon? It isn’t right for a guest leave without properly saying goodbye to their host.” A small, bird like voice said from atop the staircase. 

Everyone turned, only to see a gigantic beast looming behind the small girl. 

It was Arturia’s first time seeing Berserker, but she immediately knew he was not to be messed with. 

“Goodbye, Illyasviel. Is that good enough?” Rin said, rolling her eyes. 

“No. I think you all deserve a lesson in manners. Get them, Berserker.” Illya said. 

Berserker roared and charged, ready to swing his sword down on them. Saber intercepted Berserker’s blow, struggling to fend him off. 

The tiny girl atop the stair laughed wickedly. “Go, Berserker! Cripple the men and force them to watch you violate the women!” 

“What is wrong with this child?!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Ditto. There is something deeply disturbing about this little bitch.” Rin said. 

Berserker roared again and swung his sword, which Saber tried to block. 

“Caster, berserker has no magic resistance. Got any A rank or above noble phantasms?” Rin asked. 

“I do. My Gate of Babylon contains wands that go up to A++. However, I am afraid to say that neither I or Arturia have the mana to fight right now.” Gilgamesh said. 

“What?!” Rin said. 

“Mongrelette, we can discuss this later. First we must flee. We cannot beat Berserker here.” Gilgamesh said. 

Saber was slowly being pushed back. “Arturia-sama, I ask you to take my master and run. I’ll kill Berserker as many times as I can, please use Caster to finish him off once and for all.” He said. 

“Saber, you’ll die!” Arturia said. 

Saber grit his teeth and blocked another attack from Berserker. “I swear on the name of King Arthur to kill this beast, over and over again until I disappear! I say this as true as my name of King Richard the Lionheart!” 

“Saber…” Arturia began. She steeled herself. She could not be a weak leader at the prospect of losing a comrade in battle, nor could she diminish the value of his vow by pressing further.. “Saber, I’ve heard your vow. You’re a good man, and a wonderful knight.” 

“Hearing my idol compliment me like that...I really might cry. Now go!” Saber said with a smile on his face. 

Arturia nodded. “Come on!” She yelled at her comrades and led them out the door. 

The group ran past the mansion and through the trees. Arturia, who was low on mana, was quickly becoming tired. She was huffing after twenty minutes of sprinting. 

“Arturia, are you all right? You are going slow.” Gilgamesh said, sprinting beside her. 

“I’m fine.” Arturia dismissed the concern. 

“Saber!” Shirou yelled out. He turned his head back while he continued running. “I think...I think I just felt him die!” 

“There’s no way we can make it out of this forest without Berserker catching up to us!” Rin bit her lip. “Alright. I’m changing up the plan. There’s a shack right over there, follow me!” 

The group detoured toward the abandoned shack Rin was pointing toward. 

The shack was old and abandoned. It seemed to be made of stone, with moss and vines creeping up the walls. 

The entire group caught their breaths. Both Arturia and Gilgamesh were low on magical energy, and Gilgamesh was considering dematerialization to avoid taking more energy from his master. But right now they needed to plan. 

“Alright. We’re down to one servant. I’m out of magic bullets. We’re up against the strongest servant in the war. Basically, we’re totally fucked.” Rin said. Before Gilgamesh could angrily retort, she continued. “But, we have one hope left. There’s a way to give mana to Arturia.” 

“Well, share it!” Gilgamesh said. 

“A mana transfer ritual done between mages.” Rin said. 

“A mana transfer? This is the first I’ve heard of such magecraft.” Arturia said. 

“Well, tell us how to do it, Mongrelette!” Gilgamesh said. 

“It’s done through an act of physical intimacy between two mages.” Rin said. 

“What?” Arturia said. 

“No…” Gilgamesh said. 

“In short, Arturia, it’s done through sexual intercourse.” Rin clarified. 

“NO…!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Arturia, all you have to do is bang Shirou and Caster will have enough mana to fight.” Rin said. 

“I n-need to…! With Shirou…!” Arturia blushed. 

“NO!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Woah, Rin, is that okay?!” Shirou said. 

“I’m the one suggesting it.” Rin shrugged. She turned back to Arturia. “Arturia, I’m asking you to give up your virginity to save all our lives.” 

“I...I…” Arturia crossed her hands over her chest, heat running through her cheeks. The idea of having sex with the boy she had a crush on not so long ago made her heart leap in embarassment. “Okay, I’ll do it.” 

“NO!!!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Caster! Are you really going to object to the one thing that can save the life of the girl you love!” Rin yelled. Then she paused. “Or, actually, you could be the one to receive the mana transfer if you want. You said you’ve been with men before and that you’ve had it up the ass.” 

“C...Caster?” Arturia turned to Gilgamesh in confusion, who was facepalming. 

“Um, Rin, I hate to be _that guy_ , but I’m straight, and I really don’t like the idea of giving my virginity to a dude…” Shirou said. 

“Trust me Shirou, if it’s Goldie, your sexuality won’t matter. You won’t be straight for long while under the sheets with this guy.” Rin said. 

“Why...why can you say that with such confidence???” Shirou said, embarrassed and confused. 

“Disgusting! I only bottom for men I consider worth my time, and this mongrel certainly isn’t one of them!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Uh...ouch?” Shirou said. 

“C’mon Caster, having sex with Shirou isn’t a big deal compared to the thousands of virgins you’ve fucked.” Rin said. “Just hurry up and get it over with.” 

“No!” Arturia yelled, surprising everyone. She blushed, surprised at herself for interjecting. “Uh...I mean...it’s too weird if Shirou is straight and all…” 

“I agree with Arturia.” Shirou said. 

“I...I said I’d do it, so don’t force Caster to do something he doesn’t want to do.” Arturia said. 

“And, also, I’m a straight guy that doesn’t want to bang dudes!” Shirou said. 

“Fine. Then Arturia and Shirou will bang. It’s decided.” Rin said, crossing her arms. 

“No!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Then what do you want to do, Caster?! We have to do the mana transfer or we’ll die!” Rin yelled back. 

“I know that! Just...give me a minute…” Gilgamesh crossed his arms and firmly deliberated something. “Can...Can the ritual be done between two women?” He finally asked. 

“What?” Rin said. 

“Can the mana transfer be done between two women?!” Gilgamesh said again. 

“Well...I think so. What matters is the transfer of fluid and the eventual orgasm.” Rin said. 

“Then it can be done?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“In theory...yes. Are you suggesting that Arturia and I do it?” Rin asked. 

“If...if I can’t be her first orgasm...then I at least want to be her first dick!!!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Wow...that’s super weird.” Rin said. 

“Caster, just so you know, I don’t need your permission to do this and save our lives...however it’s nice to have your support. I know that, to you, this must be a big sacrifice, even if it seems strange to us. Thank you.” Arturia said, holding her hand to her chest. 

Gilgamesh took a deep breath. “Just be quick. I do not wish to suffer this hell for too long.” 

“Just a second.” Rin said and turned to Shirou. “Can I…?” To which Shirou shrugged. 

“Are you asking Shirou’s permission?” Arturia asked, confused. 

“Well, actually, we were waiting to tell you but...we’re a couple now.” Rin said. 

“Woah, WHAT?!” Arturia exclaimed. 

“Yep. We’re dating now.” Shirou chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Yeah...sorry, Arturia. I know you used to have a crush on him…” Rin said. 

“Eh?! I never had a crush on Shirou!” Arturia yelled. 

“Yeah! We never had that type of relationship!” Shirou said. 

“Whatever, whatever. But anyway, you’ve been acting differently towards him, Arturia, so I thought it would be okay.” Rin said. 

“Of course It’s okay! I’m happy for you!” Arturia smiled. 

Rin smiled back at her friend’s support. 

“Guys, as touching as this is, we should probably hurry before Berserker comes.” Shirou said. 

“Right, right. Well, Arturia, we should head to the sex shack.” Rin said. 

“The sex shack? Is that what we’re calling it now?” Arturia asked. 

“Either that or the bang chamber.” 

“Sex shack it is.” Arturia turned around to her male friends. “We’ll try to be quick. You won’t have to wait too long.” 

The door to the sex shack closed as Arturia and Rin entered. 

Gilgamesh sat down against the side of the sex shack and sighed. “Mongrel, if I try to stop those two, no matter what I say, stop me.” 

“You want me to stop you? Like, by force???” Shirou asked, sitting down near Gilgamesh. 

Gilgamesh nodded. “Stop me. No matter what I say or do or threaten. This is the only option left for us so that I can fight Berserker. As much as I hate it, I cannot fuck this up out of jealousy.” 

“Alright.” Shirou nodded. 

Arturia and Rin found the sex shack to be rather cleanly on the inside, considering it was an abandoned shack in the woods. There was even a bed. 

Arturia and Rin sat down next to each other on the bed. “I’m...I’m not sure how to start…” Arturia said. 

“It’s fine. I can take the lead if you’re too shy.” Rin said. 

“Thanks.” Arturia said with a light blush. 

Rin leaned over and kissed Arturia on the lips. Arturia tried her best to stay still and not move away at the contact. Rin deepened the kiss, and Arturia felt a strange shiver up her spine. 

“DAMMIT!!! I CANNOT DO THIS!!!” Gilgamesh sprung up from the floor and turned, about to run into the shack and stop a huge mistake from being made. 

“No!!!” Shirou yelled as he tackled Gilgamesh to the ground. 

Gilgamesh soon recovered from the fall and kicked Shirou off of him. Shirou was punted twelve feet into the air, only to fall hard on his back. “Mongrel, how dare you touch me! I should have you executed for this!” 

“Ow…” Shirou rubbed his backside. “You were the one who told me to stop you!” 

“I…!” Gilgamesh wanted to refute, or say something in opposition, but found that he couldn’t. He did ask Shirou to stop him no matter what he had to do. Therefore, it would be silly to execute Shirou for following orders. Gilgamesh had been effectively beaten by his past self of a few minutes ago. “Fine.”  
He grumbled. 

“How about we talk? Maybe it’ll get your mind off of things. What do you have to lose?” Shirou suggested. 

There was a silence.

“Seriously, you have nothing to lose. 

More silence. 

“This is getting seriously insulting, Caster. Name one thing you lose by talking to me.” 

“Brain cells.” Gilgamesh said. Shirou huffed. “However, talking may help distract me from my troubles, so I will allow you to speak to me.” 

“Uh...thanks?” Shirou said. 

Rin and Arturia heard a loud thump from outside, as if something human-sized had been thrown into the air only to fall back down. 

“Rin, what was that?” Arturia asked. 

“The guys are probably just rough-housing. Don’t mind it. I’ll get jealous if you don’t focus on me~” Rin said. She was straddling Arturia, having already unbuttoned Arturia’s white shirt. She unhooked Arturia’s bra from the front. “Wow, such beautiful, milky skin. And these little rosebuds are so adorable.” Rin ran her finger over Arturia’s left nipple, causing Arturia to tense. 

“Don’t flatter me, Rin. We both know they’re too small.” Arturia said with a shy expression. 

“No way, Arturia. They’re beautiful, perky breasts. They’re only a bit smaller than mine. Anyway, small breasts are still plenty beautiful. You have a tiny figure, so I think they suit you well. I wonder how they taste.” Rin leaned down and licked Arturia’s nipple, which finally became erect. 

“Ah, Rin!” Arturia gasped, surprised. 

Rin giggled. “If you keep reacting like that, I’ll really want to tease you.” 

Shirou leaned back against the wall. “So, Caster, I’ve been meaning to ask, what is it that you like so much about Arturia?” 

“You mongrels are very curious about my feelings.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Well, your love was pretty sudden.” 

“I suppose. Well, some of what I love about Arturia must remain a secret for her sake, so I can only divulge part of my love for her. Firstly, I love her stubbornness. She is a woman that can resist me, something I have never found before. She is as prideful as a mighty lioness, yet still maintains grace and elegance. She is splendid on the battlefield, I cannot contain my excitement when I see her duel. Her ideals, and her wish, are beyond human capabilities of beauty. And of course, I feel as though I’ve fallen in love with her all over again when I see her memories in my dreams. And…” 

“And?” 

“The last time I enjoyed a person’s company so thoroughly was with my best friend, Enkidu. It has been a very long time since I loved someone so much.” Gilgamesh said. 

Shirou studied the face of the King of Heroes. 

Rin swiped her finger along Arturia’s slit. “My, my, you’ve gotten so excited already. You should have told me if you were enjoying it this much.” 

Arturia bit her lip shyly and turned away. 

“Don’t look away. I like watching your face when I touch you. You get so excited from all the things I do...you know, you’re actually quite a pervert, aren’t you?” 

“A pervert?! N-no way! I’m nothing of the sort!” 

“Oh really? But you’re dripping for me down here. You act all prim and proper, but you’re actually a lewd girl, huh?” 

“Rin!” 

Rin giggled. “Don’t worry, Arturia, I’m only teasing.” 

Arturia huffed. “Honestly...saying such rude things...you’re only allowed to say this crap because you’re my best friend.” 

“Alright, alright. I promise not to abuse this power _too much_.” Rin leaned down to kiss Arturia on the lips. “Now relax yourself. I’m going to put my finger in. Stay still, I don’t want your first time to be uncomfortable.” 

“You know, I really did not imagine my first romance unfolding like this.” Gilgamesh confessed. 

“What do you mean?” Shirou asked. 

“First of all, I am allowing the woman I love to have sex with another woman in order to save our lives. I generally was not expecting that to happen.” Gilgamesh leaned back further onto the wall and sighed. 

“You know what? Ditto. My first girlfriend is having sex with one of my good friends in an abandoned shack in the woods while I chill outside. This is pretty bizarre.” At least the two could relate in the fact that this was a weird fucking situation. 

“Truthfully, I never imagined I would have a romance to begin with. I would not say that I had given up on finding love, more that I had no expectations for it. I had been with women and men plenty of times, but never experienced true romance with them. Even my relationship with my best friend was not truly a ‘romance.’ I was not expecting to find the woman of my dreams while being summoned into a war against mages, even more so after I have already lived and died.” 

“Isn’t it kind of lucky though? You finally found a girl that you could fall in love with.” 

“Of course it is lucky. I am incredibly happy to have found Arturia. I just was certainly not expecting it. I never thought that I would love a woman so much that I would allow her to have sex with someone else just to keep her safe.” 

Arturia moaned louder as Rin rubbed her finger over her clitoris. “Rin, _nnn!_ ” She tried to keep her moans as quiet as she could, not wanting the men outside the shack to hear. 

“You know what I said about stifling those moans. I want to hear you.” Rin purred. 

Arturia has never felt so vulnerable in front of someone, so at someone else’s mercy. It was horrifying, but also thrilling. So much of this was sinful, but it was incredibly exciting. “Rin...is this— _ahn!_ —really alright? I haven’t touched you at all…” 

Rin seemed slightly surprised at the question. “Don’t worry about that. I have it all planned out. The ritual won’t work unless we both reach orgasm at the same time. I figured you’d need some extra special time to prepare and get comfortable first since you’ve never had an orgasm. I’ve at least masturbated before.” 

Arturia nodded, signaling that she understood. It was true, it had taken her a while to get comfortable with this. It probably would be harder for her to achieve orgasm if she was so tightly wound and uncomfortable. 

“Besides, this is getting me pretty turned on too. Having the cool-headed queen of the school at my mercy is quite the power trip. But, if it makes you feel better, I can touch myself while I play with you.” 

“You know, you’re not all that bad, Caster. I’m starting to understand what Saber said now.” Shirou said. 

“Hah? What exactly did Saber say about me, mongrel?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Well, basically he told me not to judge you too quickly. I won’t lie, I didn’t really like you when I first met you. You were haughty and arrogant and kept saying sexual things about Arturia and acting like she belonged to you. I would’ve thought Saber would be more angry, considering he looked up to Arturia for some reason, but he wasn’t. He said that he trusted her judgement, and that if she approved of you, you must be decent. He also told me to view you more neutrally. Me and Rin were looking at you through the scope of modern day morals, but he tried to see you impartially. He said that you were so weird because you had tons of experience with sex, but none with romance. Don’t kill me for this, because these are his words and not mine, but he said you were like ‘a sex-crazed toddler.’ Basically, you were a mature adult sexually, but about as inexperienced and awkward as us when it came to romance—maybe even more so.” Shirou explained. 

“Saber said that?” 

Shirou nodded his head. 

“I do not know how I feel about being called a sex-crazed toddler, but it is rather disappointing to learn that someone I considered a rival was actually on my side right after his death.” Gilgamesh said. 

“If you really feel that way, just be sure to avenge his death in your battle against Berserker. I’m sure he’d be proud of you for not throwing a tantrum over Arturia getting a mana transfer.” 

Rin finally stripped off her panties. She decided Arturia was ready for the finale of tonight. She straddled Arturia’s left leg and pressed their intimate parts together. Then, she began moving, creating a delicious friction between the wet sexes. 

“Rin...I think I’m going to cum…!” Arturia said, desire overflowing from her body. 

“Not yet, Arturia. I told you, we have to cum together for this to work. So wait for me like a good girl, alright? You can do that for me, can’t you?” Rin asked. 

Arturia panted out her words between shaky breaths. “I...I’ll try.” 

“That’s the Arturia I know and love, always so good and hard-working.” Rin smirked. “But I _did_ notice something _bad_ outside earlier while we were talking.” 

“Eh…? What?” 

“You got jealous when I suggested that Shirou give the mana transfer to Caster.” Rin said in a sing-song voice. 

Arturia was quick to blush. “N-No!” 

“Mhm. You were probably thinking that he’s only allowed to lust after you, and didn’t want him playing around with other people, especially after learning he was into guys too.” 

“That— _ah!_ —wasn’t it!” 

“I’ve never seen you blow up at something like that. It was pretty cute. Have you decided that it’s actually pretty nice to have a boy-toy around?” Rin was also panting as she spoke, nearing her own completion by the second. Arturia’s flustered expression only turned her on more. 

“No! I— _ah!_ —wasn’t— _nn!_ —jealous! I...just didn’t want him sacrificing himself like that for me— _ahn!_ I already agreed to do it, he— _mmf!_ —shouldn’t have to have sex that he doesn’t want!” Arturia insisted. 

“That’s also true— _nnf_ —isn’t it? You’re always the first to sacrifice yourself...both you— _mm_ —and Shirou. But I also know a look of jealousy when I see it. How cute, so even— _nn_ —a girl like you can get jealous over a guy.” 

Bringing Gilgamesh up while doing something like this was just a recipe for disaster for Arturia. Just for a moment, she thought back to that night, when he had her pinned to a wall, nibbling and biting at her neck. Just that thought alone was enough to bring her over the edge. “Rin...I can’t wait any longer…!” Arturia cried desperately. 

“I think I’m— _ah_ —there too, Arturia. I’ll count down, then you can cum, okay? One— _nn!_ —...two...three!” 

Both girls came with cries of pleasure. 

Gilgamesh jolted up from his seat on the ground. “I just felt Arturia’s mana be replenished. Yes, I should be able to fight with this amount…!” 

“Does that mean they finished?” Shirou said, standing up as well. 

“I hope so. They better not go for a second round. I am _not_ afraid to break down this door and drag them out of there naked.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Woah there, calm down. I’m sure they’ll be out soon.” Shirou tried to placate Gilgamesh. 

“This is actually rather fortunate. The mongnrelette seems to have supplied Arturia with an ample amount. If it hadn’t been enough, I would have had to eat your soul to make up the difference.” 

Shirou laughed awkwardly for a second before realizing that Gilgamesh was dead serious. ‘Hurry and come out Rin...I decided he wasn’t a bad guy, but he still freaks the shit out of me…!’ 

Finally, after a few more minutes of awkward silence, Arturia and Rin emerged from the sex shack. Rin looked incredibly proud of herself, while Arturia was shyly smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt. “The mana transfer has been completed.” Rin flipped her hair. 

“Finally...it is over…” Gilgamesh sighed in relief. He managed to make it through this without murdering someone. 

“Berserker must already be on his way here. I say we meet him halfway as a surprise.” Rin said. “You ready to fight, Goldie?” 

“I have lots of anger I must take out on someone because of this mana transfer so...yes.” Gilgamesh said. 

“The transfer also jump-started my mana production, so I don’t think we’ll have to worry about running out again.” Arturia said. In meeting Gilgamesh’s eyes, she suddenly became red. She finally experienced the thing he’d been saying he wanted to give her this whole time. Just thinking about it made her heart leap. 

Gilgamesh smiled at her, but it soon fell. “Even if I have an ample amount of mana, I still do not know if I can kill Berserker the required amount of times. If a single hit from the monster lands on me, it will mean the end—!” 

Arturia cut him off by grabbing the collar of his vest and yanking him down to her level, before crashing their lips together. 

The kiss lasted seconds, but it felt like eternity to Gilgamesh. 

Finally, Arturia released his vest. “Are you saying that it’s impossible? That I am at my limit?” She quoted his own words. “Caster, you’ve faced greater monsters than this beast and won, are you really going to doubt yourself now? Don’t even suggest the idea of failure, because it won’t be tolerated! I’ll never forgive you if you die here! So tell me, Caster, are you going to win or not?!” 

Gilgamesh was once again stunned by this girl. She was the only woman that could surprise him like this. “Do I get another kiss if I kill Berserker?” He asked. 

“Fine, whatever.” Arturia said. 

“Then there is no way I can lose!” Gilgamesh said triumphantly. “I will claim another kiss from your lips, mark my words!” He took off in the direction of the mansion. 

“Wait, Gilgamesh!” Arturia called out, surprising everyone with her use of his real name. She raised up her right hand, which began to glow. “By my command spell, I order you to come back to me safely.” The red seal glowed and then disappeared. 

Gilgamesh felt the magic take effect immediately, giving him an extra boost of mana for his fight. “I’m surprised. I never thought I would want to obey a command spell so much. I will be back soon, Arturia.” He said, finally weaving through the trees and disappearing out of sight. 

Arturia stood in place for a few moments, before collapsing. 

“Arturia?!” Rin called out and kneeled on the floor to help her friend. 

Arturia was completely red from the neck up, and covered her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I just kissed him…” She said, barely audible to Rin. 

Rin quickly realized that Arturia’s feelings for her servant were far deeper than she anticipated. ‘Oh, Arturia, you have terrible taste in men.’ She thought. “Come on, Arturia, can you stand?” She helped her friend off the floor, whose cheeks were still stained pink. 

“Arturia, are you okay?” Shirou asked. 

“Yes, it’s just been a long day.” Arturia said. 

“Let’s go support Caster. If the worst comes to worst, we can try to kill Berserker’s master.” Rin said. 

The group walked toward the mansion, but, to their surprise, didn’t stumble upon any fighting. In fact, the entire forest was quiet. 

They reached the mansion to find Gilgamesh standing outside a gaping whole in the wall, looking inside the Einzbern castle. 

“Gilgamesh?” Arturia ran up to him, and looked inside. 

The interior of the castle was destroyed, indicating that a big battle had been fought here. It was empty, save for the sole dead body of Illyasviel Von Einzbern laying on the floor. 

Shirou saw the dead body and ran towards it, hoping there was some way to save the young girl. Arturia and Rin followed. What they found was that the corpse of the little girl was missing its heart. 

“Her heart was...ripped out.” Arturia said, in shock. 

Shirou clenched his fists. “Who did this?! Was it...Saber?”

“No, Saber did not do this. Look at the puncture marks in the floor. It seems like projectiles were shot during this battle. That is not typical for a swordsman. Saber did fight, and it’s likely that this large hole through the wall of the manor was caused by his noble phantasm. However, the rest of this battle took place after his death.” Gilgamesh said, walking to where the students were gathered. 

“Saber…” Arturia said his name under her breath, grieving the knight’s loss. 

“Guys, I think it’s time we head back.” Rin said. “It’s getting late.” 

“I want to investigate this scene more. We may have a new enemy.” Arturia said. “But I do want you both to go back home, since neither of you have servants.” 

“But Arturia—“ Shirou was about to interject before Rin cut him off. 

“Idiot, she’s saying we’re dead weight right now. We’re essentially a liability. Let’s just go without a fuss.” Rin said. 

“Gilgamesh, can you escort them to the forest edge? Leave my sword here so I can defend myself if necessary.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh pulled Arturia’s sword out of his Gate of Babylon and handed it to Arturia. 

“Is that safe though?!” Shirou asked. 

“I do not sense any servants nearby. Whatever servant did this, they must have already left.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I’ll see you both tomorrow.” Arturia said goodbye to her friends. 

“Bye Arturia, you were very cute today— _youch!!_ ” Rin clutched her foot with her hands. 

“Whoops, I misstepped.” Gilgamesh said. 

“No way! You did that on purpose! Caster, you asshole! Just because I banged your crush doesn’t mean you get to bully me!” Rin yelled. 

“Whatever, whatever, just follow me. I’ll take you through the forest.” Gilgamesh said, gesturing for Rin and Shirou to follow. “I’ll be right back, Arturia.” He said. He looked back at the destroyed mansion, thinking that something looked eerily familiar to him about this scene. He caught a glance at Arturia’s face once more, who was smiling at him, and felt that everything would be alright. 

Arturia was left alone in the mansion to investigate. She went about measuring each hole in the ground and found that they were all different, meaning that each home was punctured with a different projectile. “A servant with more than one noble phantasm?” She wondered. She noticed that each hole was slanted in one direction, all seeming to have been shot from the same general vicinity. There was, however, one hole in the ground that was caused by Berserker’s sword. “Saber…” This must have been where he was struck down. 

It was then that Arturia heard footsteps coming into the mansion. She recognized the weight of the footsteps, so she wasn’t worried. She was just surprised that he was returning so soon. 

“Hello, Saber. It has been quite a while, has it not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woahhh! A cliffhanger?! I wonder what’ll happen next! I actually finished this chapter days earlier than I anticipated because I had so much fun writing it this weekend. Well, it’s finally done! Here’s your Labor Day gift!
> 
> Next chapter will be dramatic as all hell with little comedy. Wow like real plot is happening guys bruuuh.


	11. Chapter 11

“Hello, Saber. It has been a while, has it not?” The familiar voice said. 

“A while? It hasn’t been that long.” Arturia replied. Gilgamesh had left less than an hour before. 

“Perhaps not to you, but for me, waiting for my love has been an agonizing eternity.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia blushed slightly and cleared her throat. It annoyed her when he said such smooth things like this. She finally looked up from what she was doing. “What’s with the new outfit? Don’t tell me you robbed a clothing store.” 

“This outfit? It is my favorite, do you like it?” 

Arturia looked him up and down. He was wearing a cropped black leather jacket with slacks, and a white button up shirt underneath. It suited him ridiculously well. Her cheeks flushed slightly. “You know I don’t like flashy men.” 

“Oh really? Well, that’s too bad. I happen to rather like this outfit.” 

It brought the question, to Arturia’s attention, of where on earth he got the change of clothes from? They were in the middle of a forest right now, far away from any clothing stores. 

“Speaking of clothing, I rather like the outfit you are wearing. It is much more feminine than what I have seen you in before.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Thanks.” Arturia said. Something felt off. This was the outfit that Rin had gifted her, which Gilgamesh had already given his (rather brazen) opinion on a week ago. “Anyway, I noticed that these holes are all differently shaped. I think each projectile is a different noble phantasm.” 

“A wonderful observation.” 

Arturia raised a brow at the knowing way Gilgamesh spoke. “Well, Gilgamesh, you can go ahead and look around too, if you’d like.” 

“Gilgamesh? Are we going by True Names now? Then, shall I call you Arturia?” Gilgamesh had an easygoing grin on his face. 

“Of course.” Arturia said. That was what he’d always called her. Why did his words and actions feel so off? She felt a strange feeling deep in her gut. 

“Yes, we should be on a first name basis as lovers. Speaking of...I think it is time we held the continuation of our wedding ceremony.” He began walking towards her. 

Arturia stood to her feet and took a step towards her sword on instinct. “Wedding ceremony? What on earth are you talking about?” 

Suddenly the air turned cold. “You’re not Saber, are you?” Gilgamesh asked, halting his footsteps. 

Arturia’s blood turned to ice. There was hostility in the accusation. “Saber? Of course not. I’m not a servant. I use a sword, but I’m still just a human.” 

Gilgamesh scrutinized her, as if trying to pick her to pieces with his eyes. “But you are King Arthur? The former ruler of Britain that regrets his reign and wishes to redo his legacy?” 

Arturia couldn’t breathe. There was something so hostile in this man, a man she thought she knew. This wasn’t right. Gilgamesh was weird and angry and arrogant, but also caring and loving, at least to her. The man before her had his face, but felt so different. “Yes, I am.” She answered in a measured tone. 

The heavy air in the room suddenly lifted. “Then all is well. You are still the woman I love. Then if we are not continuing our marriage ceremony, we shall start a new one. Arturia, lay down your sword and become my wife. If you do, I will give you all the pleasures in the world.” 

“What? No! I already told you, I don’t want to marry you!” 

“Ah, I thought you would say that. It seems you are the same no matter what form you take.” Gilgamesh said this with a smile. “However I was not asking. I was informing you of my decision. If you insist on being stubborn, I will merely have to resort to force.” 

That was the last straw for Arturia. “Who are you?! You aren’t Gilgamesh!” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Gilgamesh may be arrogant, haughty, and persistent, but he also has kindness. He has love for the people he cares about and for his country. And most of all, he would never even joke about taking me by force! He’s shown multiple times that he’ll stop if I say no! Who the hell are you, because you aren’t my Gilgamesh—you aren’t the caster servant I summoned!” Arturia yelled. 

Gilgamesh seemed visibly confused for a moment, but then his face changed into a grin. Soon, the room was filled with his boisterous laughter. “Your Gilgamesh? How cute! It was slightly confusing at first, but I understand now. I was summoned to this era as a Caster servant, was I not? And by some coincidence, I was summoned to the reincarnation of the King of Knights, the exact type of woman I would fall for. And somehow, I managed to worm my way into your heart. How delightful! He’s done most of the hard work for me! I hope he does not mind me reaping his rewards.” 

Arturia made a dive for her sword, but it was shot out of her hand and across the room by an incoming blade. There was a gash left on her palm from the sword. She looked up at the familiar looking man, and saw at least ten swords emerged from his Gate of Babylon. “You’re an Archer servant.” Arturia said in realization. She recalled something Gilgamesh previously told her, that as an Archer, he would be the most powerful servant, much more powerful than he was now. 

And now, Archer Gilgamesh was walking towards her. Without her sword, she was defenseless. She stepped back to avoid him, back and back again, until her back was pressed up against the wall. He was in front of her now, and entrapped her against the wall with his arms. It wasn’t thrilling and erotic like it was with the Caster Gilgamesh she knew, being trapped by this man filled her with fear. She knew that even if she said no, this man wouldn’t stop. 

‘If only I had the option to force him back with a command spell like I do with my Gilgamesh.’ Arturia thought. Wait, a command spell! She could summon Caster Gilgamesh to her with a command spell! 

Her hand began to glow. “Caster—“ 

Archer Gilgamesh covered Arturia’s mouth with his hand. “You cannot do that yet, we have not gotten to the fun part. Don’t you want me to tell you the truth behind that man’s love?” 

Arturia shook his hand off her mouth. Her hand had ceased to glow. “What nonsense are you spouting?” 

“I can tell you everything he has not told you about his feelings. I can tell you things that even he has not realized yet. Have you not ever wondered why he fell in love with you instantly?” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia paused. She wanted to know, she really did. She knew it was dangerous, but couldn’t help the curiosity. She nodded her head tentatively. 

Archer Gilgamesh ran his hand through Arturia’s silky hair. “That’s a good girl. I can tell you everything you want to know and more.” 

The movement of his hand through her hair felt tender and sweet to Arturia. She tried to remind herself that this wasn’t the same man as the person she’d come to care about, but her mind was having a hard time distinguishing between the two men. 

“The first thing I ever loved about you was your ideals. Your wish is so tumultuous and idealistic that I found it beautiful. Your blatant stupidity is adorable. It enticed me, telling me that you are not just another woman.” 

Arturia focused on his words. So far, this wasn’t much she didn’t already know. She could already tell that Caster Gilgamesh didn’t truly approve of her wish, and wanted her to give it up and become a normal woman (namely, his wife). 

“And I love how you resist me. You disobey and frustrate me in the most endearing way. It makes me want to take you even more. Although, if you willingly gave yourself to me, I might get bored; and once I do, I will toss you aside like a broken toy.” 

“Don’t lie to me! Gilgamesh would never do that!” 

“Of course he would, silly girl. We only do things for entertainment. It is only natural to stop playing with something that has become boring. I can speak for him because I am him. I know exactly what he thinks. A relationship with you was never meant to last forever.” 

“He wouldn’t do that! If he were to cast me aside like that after I’ve become boring then I wouldn’t be a wife to him, I would just be a toy!” 

“Those are one and the same for us. Women are toys to be played with by the king.” 

“That can’t be true!” 

“You don’t trust his own words?” 

“You aren’t the same as him! You’re different! He’s much better than you! He may be a tyrant, but he’s willing to sacrifice everything for his country!” 

“And what makes you think I am any different?” 

“Because you never proved yourself to be a worthy king like he did! He put everything on the line for his country! He gave up his life twice! He’s a good man, many times better than you!” Arturia insisted. “He may be childish at times, but he’s mature in his own way!” 

Archer Gilgamesh began to laugh. “How adorable. You have fallen in love with him, haven’t you?” 

“In love? No, it isn’t like that!” 

In one swift movement, his mouth was right next to her ear. “I love you, Arturia. I will stay with you for as long as I live.” He pulled away to look at her face, which was freshly reddened. “That is what you want to hear him say, is it not?” 

“Don’t...don’t play with my feelings!” Arturia raised her arm to slap him, but he caught her wrist and pinned it above her head. 

“How cute and naive. Certainly, you were expecting this love of yours to last a lifetime. It won’t. Once you’ve become docile, he’ll abandon you.” 

“That can’t be true…!” The more that Archer Gilgamesh said it, the more real it felt. It was like she was hearing it directly from Caster Gilgamesh’s voice. This doppelgänger had the same voice, appearance, touch, and scent as the man she’d come to care about. Hearing these words from this voice stung her deep in her heart. 

“Nothing lasts forever, Arturia. What is wrong with just enjoying the moment, even knowing it will end? Or if you would really like, I could let you become my concubine after I have finished with you as my wife.” 

“Shut your mouth! As if I would ever want that!” 

“That is a nice face you are making, Arturia. Your beautiful green eyes sunken into despair as you deny the truth, I must say it is a very attractive look on you. I want to know what other faces you can make.” He said this right next to her ear, husky and wanting. 

Arturia didn’t even feel like resisting anymore. If she was any less prideful, she would have cried hearing Gilgamesh say these terrible things. She’d come to care for him so much, she felt betrayed. She kept trying to tell herself that this man was different, but it still hurt. She didn’t turn away when Archer Gilgamesh pressed his lips against hers. 

The kiss was warm. It felt sweet and tender, just like the kiss she shared with Caster Gilgamesh earlier that day. She hated it. She hated that it felt so similar. It brought her to the heartwrenching realization that the two really were the same person. 

“What on earth...is going on here?!” 

The voice came from the entrance to the castle, the same voice Arturia was used to. Archer Gilgamesh turned to the intruder with an annoyed expression. “Can’t you see you are interrupting something?” He said. 

Caster Gilgamesh’s bewilderment soon turned to rage. “Get away from her!” He yelled. 

Archer Gilgamesh scrutinized his other self. He grabbed Arturia by the arm and pulled her to the center of the room. Then, he locked her head in his elbow, not strong enough to choke or hurt her, merely restrain her. “Well, isn’t this a coincidence, Arturia? Things were about to get fun, but _your Gilgamesh_ just happened to come and ruin the moment.” He said. 

“Gilgamesh…” Arturia said with saddened eyes. 

What on earth had this man done to make Arturia make a face like that? The thought filled Caster Gilgamesh with rage. “Let her go.” He demanded. 

Archer Gilgamesh raised his hand to his chin as if he was legitimately considering, then snickered. “No. As if I would let my wife go after waiting for her for ten years.” 

‘Ten years?’ Caster Gilgamesh wondered. ‘I understand. He could not have been summoned to this war since I was summoned. The same heroic spirit can’t be summoned to the same grail war. However, if he was summoned to the last war and managed to stay in this world...it might be possible.’ “She is not your wife.” 

“Ah, that is right, you love this girl, correct? Well, I happen to love her too; although I fell in love with a different version of her, she remains the same on the inside. I have been waiting for her to return for ten whole years. She belongs to me.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Arturia does not belong to anyone!” Was Caster Gilgamesh’s reply. 

“Hm? Not to anyone? It seems even you understand that you are stuck in an unrequited romance. She told me that she does not think of you that way. Oh well, you missed your chance. Personally, I think I might have better luck with her.” 

“You…” Caster Gilgamesh already knew what would lay in store for Arturia if Archer Gilgamesh were to ‘court’ her. He focused on Arturia. Why wasn’t she speaking out? She just kept looking at him with a dismal expression. What on earth did his Archer self do to her? “Arturia does not want you. Let her go.” He wanted to attack this man. But he knew that this version of him was the strongest of all the servants, much stronger than he was now. Caster Gilgamesh wouldn’t survive a battle with Archer Gilgamesh. And if Caster Gilgamesh dies, Arturia would be left alone with the man that represented everything Caster Gilgamesh disliked about himself. He knew it would lead straight to a bad ending. 

“Reall—“ 

“Woah! Gilgamesh, you really are the best! I didn’t think you’d wreck Berserker so bad!” The blue seaweed haired boy came into the room and put his hand on Caster Gilgamesh’s shoulder. Then, with Caster Gilgamesh’s glare, he came to a realization. “Hold on, you’re not…!” 

“I am over here, Shinji.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

Shinji backed away from Caster Gilgamesh, assessing the situation. “Wait...there’s two of you? And why are you holding Arturia?” 

“Do not question it, Shinji.” Archer Gilgamesh commanded. 

Shinji shook off his surprise. Then a smile appeared on his face. He ran to Arturia. “See that, Arturia? I now have the strongest servant in the game! And as you can see, he’s way better than your servant, who’s just a weak doppelgänger. Hey, I have an idea! If you become my girlfriend, I’ll make sure you survive. I’ll even share the Holy Grail with you! What do you say?” 

“Shinji, you are my master for now, so I will not kill you; but I cannot have you flirting with my future wife.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Dude...seriously? Didn’t you like...just meet her?” Shinji asked. 

“Shinji!” Archer Gilgamesh snapped. An empty portal opened from Gilgamesh’s Gate of Babylon. “Get in.” 

“You want me to get in there again…?” Shinji asked. 

Archer Gilgamesh nodded sternly. 

“Do I...have to?” 

“Shinji!” 

“Okay! Okay!” Shinji walked over to the portal, only to find that it’s height from the ground was a bit too high. “Could you, uh, lower it?” 

“Climb in the hole Shinji.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

Shinji got on his tippy toes and attempted to climb into the hole. It was difficult, but he finally got his torso in. Then, with a shove from Archer Gilgamesh’s free arm, the rest of Shinji fell into the portal. 

“I must apologize for that. That pest is my current master.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“That is a lie. Your master is Kirei Kotomine.” Caster Gilgamesh said. This would be an impressive revelation of clairvoyance if only Caster Gilgamesh knew who the fuck Kirei Kotomine was.

“Oh? So you are using your clairvoyance? Does that not make things rather boring?” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“I only use it occasionally, when necessary.” 

“But you were unable to predict this situation?” 

“By the time I saw the wreckage from your battle with Berserker, the fight was already in the past. I can only see the future. You should know this.” 

“You did not think to monitor Berserker’s actions beforehand? You were fighting a losing battle with him, no?” 

“I had some other...more pressing concerns to attend to at that moment.” Namely, the emotional turmoil of letting Rin fuck the love of his life. He wasn’t exactly focusing on the battle at the time. “What purpose do you have for keeping that mongrel around as a surrogate master?” 

“Well, That mongrel is worthless as a master, but still has latent magic circuits. He will prove useful in the future. But right now, he has given me a most splendid idea. Why don’t we let Arturia decide whom she wants to leave with?” 

Caster Gilgamesh raised a brow. His other self was certainly planning something. He must know that Arturia would obviously choose to go back with her servant. “Okay.” 

“Arturia, if you come back with me, I’ll give you the Holy Grail. The only condition: let me kill your servant.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

Both Arturia and Caster Gilgames’s eyes were wide. 

“Arturia, do not—Gah!” Before Caster Gilgamesh could finish his sentence, a spear was fired into his arm. Arturia flinched upon seeing him hurt. Suddenly, portals from Archer Gilgamesh’s Gate of Babylon surrounded Caster Gilgamesh with swords and spears all ready to fire. He had no escape. 

“Another word out of your mouth and I will kill you regardless of what Arturia says.” Archer Gilgamesh said. “Now, Arturia, at your behest, I will plunge fifty swords into this hopeless fool’s body, leaving no potential for survival. And if you do say yes, I will give you what you’ve yearned for—the Holy Grail. If you say no, I will let you go free, but I will become your enemy in this war, of which you have no hope to defeat. Arturia, will you choose your wish and your country, or that man and his ephemeral affections?” 

Caster Gilgamesh knew that the Holy Grail was the one thing Arturia wanted most in the world. Her obsession was the initial thing that attracted him to her in the first place. This version of him must know about her obsession as well. This was a well thought out act of persuasion. He shouldn’t have expected any less from himself. What’s more, he had no way to argue, as he would be killed if he said another word, and he knew well that his other self would make do on that threat. Caster Gilgamesh grit his teeth. 

Arturia stared down at the floor. “And...you won’t force me to become your wife? The only condition is that I let you kill my servant?” She asked. 

“Hm, a good question. I suppose I can postpone our marriage until after you have received the Grail and made your wish. However, you must attend to my desires immediately, as I have run thin on patience over these past ten years of waiting.” Archer Gilgamesh answered. 

Arturia went silent. It was clear by her expression that she was conflicted. 

‘Is Arturia actually considering this…?!’ Caster Gilgamesh wondered. Arturia knew she would be raped if she agreed, right? Archer Gilgamesh just said so! ‘Of course she knows...that girl has never thought about herself, not even once.’ All Arturia cared about was the Holy Grail and saving her country. That’s it. Everything else was miniscule in her eyes. Including him. 

At this moment, Caster Gilgamesh remembered his conversation with Kay whilst Arturia was sick. _“Listen, Caster, do you consider yourself an exception to that rule?”_

No. He didn’t. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. He didn’t even know what Arturia’s feelings for him were at this point, or whether she had ever seen him as more than just a friend and ally. He’s known her for less than two weeks. The thought of Arturia choosing him over her lifelong wish for the Holy Grail was absurd. 

That obviously meant he was going to die. 

Arturia would choose the Holy Grail and pursue her wish, letting Caster Gilgamesh die as collateral damage. 

‘This is my biggest failure since my immortality quest.’ Caster Gilgamesh thought. But, just like his immortality quest, he was okay with it. He made a genuine, human effort to win a girl’s heart; that’s something he’d never even attempted before. Moreover, even getting the chance to fall in love after he’d already died was a miracle in itself. 

If these were to be his last moments...he didn’t want the last face Arturia sees from him to be distraught, so he decided to smile at her, one last time. 

Arturia was sure to have a terrible time after his death, so he didn’t want her to start off being sad because of something like this. He loved her, after all. 

The look on Arturia’s face when Caster Gilgamesh smiled at her was one of pure, indescribable pain. She wrenched her eyes away and closed them. 

“Arturia, I am becoming impatient.” Archer Gilgamesh said. “Make a decision now, or I will make one for you.” 

Arturia mumbled something, so quiet that it couldn’t be heard. 

“Arturia, speak up. Loud enough so that I can hear.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I WOULD BETRAY MY PARTNER?!” Arturia yelled at the top of her lungs, surprising both the Gilgameshs. “I...I made a promise at the beginning of this war that I would fight alongside him as his partner. I’m not going to betray him! When I win the Holy Grail, he’ll be by my side! So shut your nonsense-spewing mouth and let us go!” Arturia tried to wrench herself free from Archer Gilgamesh’s grasp. 

“I see.” Archer Gilgamesh said. He freed Arturia from his arm and pushed her away so that she stumbled forward. However, he kept a firm grasp on her hand, not fully letting her go yet. “But, I want to tell you something good before you go.” 

“She chose me. You have already said your piece. Release her.” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“Really? You do not want to hear about the true nature of the Holy Grail?” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“True nature? What do you mean?” Arturia demanded. 

“Ten years ago I bathed in the mud of the Holy Grail, no one knows it’s true nature better than I. This grail collects the spirits of the six dead servants and uses their mana to grant any wish. However, this grail is blackened and corrupt, it only knows how to grant wishes through death and destruction, as was shown ten years ago during the great fire of Fuyuki.” 

“No way! You’re saying it can’t grant my wish?!” Arturia yelled. 

“Not by any noble means. However, this black, muddy grail does have its uses. The mud poured out from the grail destroys anything in its wake. I plan on using it to purge the filth that is the current mankind.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“You plan on using it to commit mass genocide?” Caster Gilgamesh asked. 

“Do not look so surprised. You see it just as I do. This world and its current inhabitants are disgusting. They are lazy and useless. In our time, there was no man or woman who was worthless. In this era, there are thousands of excessive, useless humans. The population needs to be trimmed down, and the rightful king of the world is the best person to do the job. In fact, I would not allow anyone else to do this duty. You are just as repulsed by this world as I am, surely you have considered this option.” 

“Perhaps. However mass genocide is a hasty solution to a problem of excess. Though, I should expect nothing less than for you to make a hasty, immature decision.” Caster Gilgamesh said. “If that is all you have to say, then release her.” 

Archer Gilgamesh’s grin turned to a snarl for just a moment before he regained his composure. He let go of Arturia’s hand. 

The second Archer Gilgamesh let go of Arturia, Caster Gilgamesh swooped her into his arms and ran out of the castle. He entered the forest and leapt through the trees, trying to put as much distance between them and Archer Gilgamesh as possible. 

It wasn’t until they reached Arturia’s house that Caster Gilgamesh let go of Arturia. He was able to breathe a sigh of relief, as he had made doubly sure that Archer Gilgamesh had not followed them. 

It was then that Caster Gilgamesh noticed the gash on Arturia’s hand. He reached out to look at it. “Arturia, you are hurt—!” 

Arturia slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” She said with a look of pure disgust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it would be dramatic! The next meeting between archer gil and Caster gil will be hilarious, don’t worry. The next chapter will have the scene we’ve all been waiting for (especially Gilgamesh lmao). It was a rather short chapter, but I’m pretty happy with it. I think it turned out properly dramatic. Anyway, please tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Gilgamesh sat down on the sofa, in complete inner turmoil. Arturia had made a beeline to her room the second they went into the house, not speaking to him at all. The lights were out in her room, so he assumed she was asleep. 

He wanted to check on her and make sure she was okay, but didn’t know whether or not she wanted to see him right now. When they arrived home, she seemed almost angry at him. Was it because of...his face? The fact that he had the same appearance as Archer Gilgamesh? 

That brought into question just how traumatic her experience with Archer Gilgamesh was. When he had arrived at the castle after seeing the mongrel and mongrelette off safely, Archer Gilgamesh was kissing Arturia. Arturia had looked incredibly distressed at that moment, prompting his ferocity. It obviously hadn’t been consensual, but just how bad was it? Archer Gilgamesh hadn’t tried to do anything...inappropriate to her, had he? The worst possible outcome of this scenario would be alternate universe him trying to rape Arturia. Of course Arturia wouldn’t want to see his face after something like that. 

Gilgamesh attempted to just end the night by sleeping, but ultimately couldn’t calm his restless mind. He attempted to read manga to pass time like usual, but all his thoughts kept drifting back to Arturia. He wanted to see her. He wanted to know if she was okay. He wanted to comfort her. And most of all, he wanted to punch Archer Gilgamesh in the face. That bastard put Arturia in this terrible emotional state. 

One thing kept plaguing Gilgamesh’s mind: why had Arturia chosen to keep him alive over obtaining the Holy Grail? She didn’t know at the time that it was blackened and corrupt. She had chosen him over her wish for her country. It didn’t make sense. Why had she done it? 

—-

Walking...walking...walking…

The soles of his feet were calloused like leather. His shoes had worn down long ago, and now he walked barefoot. 

Gilgamesh despaired in his heart for his lost brother, who had been killed by the wretched gods as punishment for his sins. Guilt and sadness ate at him from the inside. And beneath all that, there was fear. The primal fear of death—one that resided in every living being. Because he didn’t want to die like his friend, he would search endlessly for Utnapishtim, who had reached the place of gods. 

And so, he wandered through the wilderness. He roamed over the grasslands as a hunter, using the land to fend off starvation and thirst. 

He rested his weary body only when his legs gave out. Then, he would rest until he could once again stand and continue walking. 

Walking...walking...walking…

He walked while he wept at the thought of his lost brother. 

But he kept walking all the same. 

At night, when he came to the mountain pass, Gilgamesh prayed to the moon god Sin for protection while he slept. He dreamt that night of lions circling around him. When he saw the lions glorifying life, he attacked them with his axe, killing and scattering them. 

He came to the mountain range Mashu, which guards the rising and setting sun. There he found Scorpion creatures, half man and half dragon, that guard the mountains. The scorpion-man asked Gilgamesh why he had come. 

“I have come for Enkidu. I loved them dearly, and we endured all types of hardships together. I come on their account, for they have been taken by the common lot of man. I have wept for them day and night. I would not give up their body for burial, as I thought my weeping would bring him back. Since they went, my life is nothing. That is why I have traveled. I come in search of Utnapishtim, for men say he has entered the assembly of the gods and has found everlasting life. I have a desire to question him about the living and the dead.” 

The scorpions explained to him that no mortal man has traveled through these mountains, and that through the gate is twelve leagues of darkness. 

“Although I shall go in sorrow and pain, sighing and weeping, I must go.” Gilgamesh said. 

The scorpion-men allowed him to pass. 

For ten leagues he traveled in complete darkness, almost enough to drive a man insane, and only felt the sun’s light again after the eleventh. Finally, he passed the twelve leagues. Then, there stood the garden of the gods. 

The garden was beautiful. Rare gems hung like fruit on the bushes and trees, with leaves of lapis lazuli. By the edge of the sea he found Shamash, who immediately recognized him. “You will never find the life for which you are searching.” Shamash told him. 

“Now that I have toiled and strayed so far out into the wilderness, am I to just sleep, and let the dirt cover my eyes forever? Let my eyes see the sun until they are dazzled with looking. Although I am no better than a deadman, let my eyes see the light of the sun.” Gilgamesh said. 

Then, Gilgamesh found the woman of the vine. A tavern keeper sat with the golden vats of wine from the gods. When she saw Gilgamesh, she barred the doors, thinking Gilgamesh was some felon. 

“Young woman, maker of wine, why did you bar your gate? What did you see that made you bar it? I will break in your door and burst your gate, for I am Gilgamesh, he who killed the Bull of Heaven, overthrew Humbaba of the cedar forest, and killed the lions in the mountain passes.” Gilgamesh said in fury. 

“If you are truly that Gilgamesh, why are your cheeks so starved and your face drawn? Why is despair in your heart and your face that of one who has made a long journey? Yes, why is your face burned by heat and cold, and you have come in search of the wind?” She asked. 

“Why should my cheeks not be starved and my face drawn? Despair is in my heart, my face is that of one who has made a long journey, and has been burned by the heat and cold. Why should I not wander over the pastures in search of the wind? My friend, my younger brother, they who have hunted the panther and the wild ass of the plains, my friend, my younger brother, who seized and killed the Bull of Heaven and overthrew Humbaba of the cedar forest, my friend who was very dear to me and endured dangers beside me. Enkidu, my brother, whom I loved, the end of mortality has overtaken them. I wept for them for seven days and nights til the worms had taken to their body. Because of my brother I am afraid of death, because of my brother I stray through the wilderness and cannot rest. But now, young woman, maker of wine, since I have seen your face, do not make me see the face of death which I dread so much.” 

She answered, “Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to? You will never find the life for which you are looking for. When the gods created man they allotted to him death, but life they retained in their own keeping. Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe in clean water, cherish the little child who holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the lot of man.” 

“How can I be silent, how can I rest, when Enkidu whom I love is dust, and I shall too die and be laid in the earth. Young woman, tell me, which is the way to Utnapishtim? What directions are there for the passage? I will cross the ocean if possible, if not then I will stray further into the wilderness.” 

The woman told Gilgamesh where to find Urshanabi, the ferryman that could sail him through the waters of the dead. But she told him that if it was not possible to cross the waters, then he must go back. 

Gilgamesh became furious at this. He fell upon some nearby wood with his axe to calm his anger, then sat down in the forest. 

A man came up to him and introduced himself as Urshanabi. He asked who Gilgamesh was. When Gilgamesh answered, Urshanabi did not quite believe him. “If you are truly that Gilgamesh, why are your cheeks so starved and your face drawn? Why is despair in your heart and your face that of one who has made a long journey? Yes, why is your face burned by heat and cold, and you have come in search of the wind?” 

“Why should my cheeks not be starved and my face drawn? Despair is in my heart, my face is that of one who has made a long journey, and has been burned by the heat and cold. Why should I not wander over the pastures in search of the wind? My friend, my younger brother, they who have hunted the panther and the wild ass of the plains, my friend, my younger brother, who seized and killed the Bull of Heaven and overthrew Humbaba of the cedar forest, my friend who was very dear to me and endured dangers beside me. Enkidu, my brother, whom I loved, the end of mortality has overtaken them. I wept for them for seven days and nights til the worms had taken to their body. Because of my brother I am afraid of death, because of my brother I stray through the wilderness and cannot rest.“I am afraid of death, therefore, Urshanabi, tell me which is the road to Utnapishtim? If it is possible I will cross the waters of death; if not I will wander still farther through the wilderness.”

Gilgamesh asked for the road to Utnapishtim. Urshanabi explained to him that Gilgamesh himself had prevented him from crossing the waters, for he destroyed the oars with his axe just earlier. Urshanabi tells Gilgamesh to cut one-hundred and twenty long poles from the forest with his axe. Then he will be granted passage across the waters. 

When Gilgamesh heard this, he immediately set to the task and cut the poles. When he was finished, Urshanabi and he got into the boat and began the passage over the waters. Gilgamesh was told to thrust each pole into the waters in order to move the boat, but not to let the waters touch his body. After all one-hundred and twenty poles were used, Gilgamesh took the animal skins off his back and used his arms as a sail. With this, he finally reached Utnapishtim. 

“What is your name, you who comes wearing the skins of beasts, with your cheeks starved and your face drawn? Where are you hurrying to now? For what reason have you made this great journey, crossing the seas whose passage is difficult? Tell me your reason for coming.” Utnapishtim said. 

“I am Gilgamesh. I am from Uruk, from the house of Anu.” Gilgamesh answered. 

“If you are truly that Gilgamesh, why are your cheeks so starved and your face drawn? Why is despair in your heart and your face that of one who has made a long journey? Yes, why is your face burned by heat and cold, and you have come in search of the wind?” 

“Why should my cheeks not be starved and my face drawn? Despair is in my heart, my face is that of one who has made a long journey, and has been burned by the heat and cold. Why should I not wander over the pastures in search of the wind? My friend, my younger brother, they who have hunted the panther and the wild ass of the plains, my friend, my younger brother, who seized and killed the Bull of Heaven and overthrew Humbaba of the cedar forest, my friend who was very dear to me and endured dangers beside me. Enkidu, my brother, whom I loved, the end of mortality has overtaken them. I wept for them for seven days and nights til the worms had taken to their body. Because of my brother I am afraid of death, because of my brother I stray through the wilderness and cannot rest. Their fate lies heavily upon me. How can I be silent, how can I rest? They are dust and I shall die also and be laid in the earth forever.” Gilgamesh said. “I have come to see Utnapishtim, whom we call the Faraway. For this I have wandered over the world, I have crossed many difficult ranges, I have crossed the seas, I have wearied myself with traveling; my joints ache and I have lost acquaintance with sleep. My clothes were worn before I came to the house of wine. I have killed the bear and hyena, the lion and the panther, the tiger, the stag and the ibex, all sorts of wild game and small creatures of the pasture. I ate their flesh and I wore their skins; and that was how I came to the gate of the young woman, the maker of wine, who barred her gate of pitch and bitumen against me. From her, I heard news of the journey, and I crossed the waters of death with the ferryman Urshanabi. Oh Utnapishtim, you who have entered the assembly of the gods, I wish to question you concerning the matters of life and death, how can I find the life for which I am searching?” 

“There is no permanence. Do we build a house to last forever, or seal a contract to last all time? Do brothers divide inheritance to keep forever, do rivers flow forever? From the days of old, there is no permanence. The sleeping and the dead, how alike they are, like a painted death. What is there between the master and the servant when both have fulfilled their doom. When the Annunaki, the judges, come together, and the Mammetun, the mother of destinies, together they decide the fates of men. They allot life and death but do not disclose the day.” 

Gilgamesh asked Utnapishtim how he became immortal and entered the realm of gods. Utnapishtim explained that there was once a great flood that wiped out his people. He was the only one told of this flood beforehand by the god Ea, and was told to make a ship. He made a ship and stood against the torrent of the flood with his wife while his people drowned. After surviving, he was granted eternal life by the gods. 

“As for you, Gilgamesh, I will put your wish to the test. Prevail against sleep for six days and seven nights, and then I will help you.” Utnapishtim said. 

Gilgamesh agreed to this, but once he sat down against a rock, sleep fell over him. When he awoke to Utnapishtim’s touch, he found six pieces of bread next to him. The one farthest to the left was hard and molded, and the sixth was fresh. The scent of freshly baked bread wafted around him, indicating that there was another loaf baking right then. 

“I hardly slept when you roused me.” Gilgamesh said, attempting to hide his failure. 

“See these loaves of bread. That is for how many days you slept.” 

“What shall I do, Utnapishtim? Where shall I go? Already the thief in the night has hold of my limbs; death inhabits my room.” Gilgamesh asked. 

Utnapishtim instead told Urshanabi to take Gilgamesh to the washing-place, and to give him clothes. Gilgamesh washed himself clean and dressed in new clothes provided for him. Before Gilgamesh was meant to leave, Utnapishtim’s wife spoke up. “Gilgamesh came here wearied out. What will you give him to take back to his own country?” She asked Utnapishtim. 

Utnapishtim decided to tell Gilgamesh of an herb that grows in the waters. It is covered with thorns, and will wound his hands, but if he succeeds in picking it, it will restore his lost youth. 

Hearing this, Gilgamesh immediately acted. He went to the deepest channel of the waters, tied heavy stones to his feet, and let them carry him to the bottom. Once there, Gilgamesh picked the herb from the ground. Then, he cut the weights and swam back to shore. He looked happily at the plant, and addressed Urshanabi. “Come here, see this marvelous plant. By its power a man will regain all his former youth. I will take it back to Uruk and have an old man eat it and see the results. Then, I will eat it myself; and finally I will have regained my youth.” 

He traveled twenty leagues with Urshanabi. Then, he saw a well of cool water and decided to bathe. Whilst bathing, he turned around to look back at the plant, which he had left at the shore. In front of his eyes, a snake ate it whole, and shed its skin, then slithered away. Gilgamesh ran back to shore, and looked at where the plant used to lay. He felt empty, not knowing what to do. Then, suddenly, laughter bubbled up from his throat. He laughed at his failure, and all the toil he’d gone through. He’d finally made a human effort for something, and failed miserably. He finally realized that his whole journey was pointless. 

After this, he and Urshanabi made the journey back to Uruk. 

Walking...walking...walking...

—-

Arturia woke up with the sound of her alarm clock. She slammed her hand on the off button to shut it up. She didn’t want to wake up. Most of all, she didn’t want to confront Gilgamesh about last night. She knew she’d inevitably have to ask Gilgamesh about his true feelings, and she feared the answer he might give. She wished things could go back to the way they were, but they couldn’t. She felt angry and confused. Her thoughts were a mess. 

She didn’t know what she’d do if she found out Gilgamesh really would abandon her after she became boring. It would hurt her beyond belief if he would. She didn’t understand any of these feelings, or the inner turmoil that Archer Gilgamesh had brought her. 

Then, her cellphone rang. Arturia considered ignoring it, but knew it was Kay calling her and didn’t want to worry him. She picked up the cellphone and answered the call. “Kay?” She said. 

_“Woah, you sound like death, Arty. You okay?”_

“I’m fine.” Arturia lied. 

_“You’re not fine at all. You sound terrible. Is something wrong?”_

“I’m just having some problems with Gilgamesh.” Arturia answered. 

_“Oh no, boy trouble? Don’t worry, your big brother is an expert on boys. Tell me what happened.”_

“It’s complicated. There’s two of them now.” 

_“What?”_

“There’s two Gilgameshs.” 

_“...two Casters?”_

“No. One of them is an Archer servant. He’s also an absolute dick. He’s even more horny than the Caster version and doesn’t care about consent. He also plays with women’s hearts for fun.” 

_“That sounds terrible. Stay away from that jerk. Stick with Caster, he’s a little clueless but he’s still mature.”_

“The problem is that the Archer version told me some terrible things about Caster Gilgamesh.” 

_“Like what?”_

Arturia recounted Archer Gilgamesh’s words to Kay, up to Caster Gilgamesh’s intrusion. 

_“I see. So now you’re worried Caster is the type to abandon girls?”_

“I guess.” 

_“Hm. Well, this is just my impression, but when he talks to me about you, he sounds really smitten.”_

“I thought so too...I thought he was honest and good. If all of it is true, I can’t think very highly of a man that plays with women’s hearts and discards them like trash.” 

_“Agreed. As for his love...there was one conversation I had with him about this exact topic—”_

“Really?! What?!” 

_“—BUT, I can’t tell you about it because I don’t think it’s my place to confirm these things. I think you should talk to him. Ask him up front about the things Archer Gilgamesh said about him. That’s the mature thing to do.”_

“You’re not helpful at all…” Arturia grumbled. 

_“I’m not the one being a pussy about asking my boyfriend simple questions.”_

“He’s not my boyfriend! We aren’t like that.” 

_“You’re fretting about whether or not he loves you for real, and you’re STILL going to say you have no feelings for him?”_

“It’s...It’s not like I have _no_ feelings for him...I certainly think he’s attractive, and I like him a lot as a person...and I want to stay by his side…” 

_“Wow, Arturia, those sound an awful lot like feelings!”_

“Don’t be sarcastic!” Arturia snapped. “I know that I chose for him to live...but I just don’t understand these feelings yet.” 

_“You chose for him to live? What does that mean?”_

“Archer Gilgamesh made me choose...between him or the Holy Grail. He said he’d give me the Holy Grail if I let him kill my servant. I really thought about it, but I couldn’t do it. I chose to let Gilgamesh live.” Arturia recollected this with sadness in her voice. 

_“Wait, you chose HIM over the Holy Grail?!”_ Kay asked, shocked. 

“Yes.” 

_“Arturia, you’re in love with him.”_

“What?” 

_“Arturia, you’ve been obsessed with your wish and your country since you regained your memories. You’ve trained day and night for this war. I didn’t think you’d choose ANYONE over the Grail, not even me or your best friends. If you actually chose him over the Grail, you must be in love!”_

Arturia felt too tired to refute this. Moreover, she didn’t have anything to refute it with. It’s true that she had prepared herself to kill her friends and family if necessary for this war. Kay was absolutely right in believing that she’d choose her country over anything. For her to choose Gilgamesh over the Holy Grail—her country’s salvation—must mean she cared for him deeper than anyone else. “He’s just a precious person to me. That’s all I know…” 

_“Well, if you want him to remain a precious person to you, you better clear the air of all these potential misunderstandings. Just ask him directly about his feelings. And when you do talk to him, be a good listener and keep an open mind. That’s the best thing to do in this situation.”_

Arturia sighed. “Okay.” 

_“Righty-O! That’s all from this relationship expert! I’ve gotta get to work now. Later, Arty.” Kay said._

“You are most certainly not a relationship expert. But, you’re decent at giving advice. Bye, Kay.” Arturia said, and the call ended. 

Despite what she previously agreed to with Kay, Arturia still didn’t want to get out of bed. Ultimately, it was the call of her gnawing stomach that forced her to get up. She hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, after all. 

When she opened the door, she had to stop. She would have tripped if she hadn’t already been looking down. There was a plate of toast and rice on the ground by her feet. There was only one other person in this house who could have made it. ‘What, did he learn to use the toaster, or something?’ She tried to scoff, but couldn’t. It was an extremely thoughtful gesture on Gilgamesh’s part. He must’ve been worried about her. 

It made her heart ache. 

Arturia picked up the plate. She decided to at least modify the food before eating it, because even she didn’t care much for plain toast. She brought the plate to the kitchen and set it down. 

“Arturia?!” Gilgamesh immediately got up from his seat on the couch in the living room and followed her into the kitchen. “You are awake!” He tried to calm himself down. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Arturia answered coldly. She put the plate of food in the microwave to reheat it. 

There was silence for the thirty seconds that the food was heating in the microwave. 

At the ding, Arturia took out the plate. She got jam from the cupboard. It was when she tried to grab a knife and winced in pain that she remembered she’d been hurt the night before. 

“Arturia, your hand is hurt. Let me heal it.” Gilgamesh insisted. 

“No. I can heal it myself.” Arturia brushed off his concern. She used her other hand to perform healing magic on her wounded palm. The wound slowly healed. 

“I am glad you are no longer low on mana. It seems it is replenishing at a fast rate.” Gilgamesh said. 

“It usually does.” Arturia said, not looking at him. She spread the jam on the toast. 

“Arturia, tell me what happened last night. You are acting differently.” 

The knife in Arturia’s hand abruptly stopped moving. “He said some things to me, kissed me, and that’s it.”

Gilgamesh was slightly relieved that he managed to intrude before things got any worse. “Was he planning on doing something further to you?” 

“Well, he didn’t seem like he’d stop, even if I said no.”

Gilgamesh wondered what to ask next. Was she scared? How did she feel now? Instead he just asked what had been on his mind since last night. “Are you angry at me for it?” 

Arturia stopped moving. “Are you really...the same person as him?” She asked. This Gilgamesh was concerned and caring about how she felt, the other Gilgamesh didn’t seem to care about her feelings one way or the other. 

To Gilgamesh, this question was an inevitable one. “Yes. Technically, we are the same person. We are both the heroic spirit Gilgamesh. However, he is significantly less mature than I am. He is more arrogant, hotheaded, and childish than me. In a sense, he is almost like a me that has not been humbled by his experiences. Those are our biggest differences. Other than that, I believe he is in a bad mood because of this era.” 

“A bad mood?” 

“Yes. He is right about one thing—I do not particularly like the era we are in. It is rather excessive. If I had not been summoned to you, my mood would have been significantly worse overall. I think that is why he is more intolerable than usual.” Gilgamesh concluded. 

“I see.” Arturia said. She continued spreading jam on her toast. 

“Are you angry at me because of what he did to you?” Gilgamesh asked once again. “I answered your question, I would like you to answer mine.”

Arturia let out a sigh. “No, I’m not angry at you for that.” 

“Then why are you angry at me?” 

“I just am!” Arturia snapped. She took her food to the table and began eating. 

To her dismay, Gilgamesh sat down at the table with her. He watched her eat with the same worried expression on his face. It annoyed her how concerned he was for her. He was acting too sweet and considerate, and it was hard to be angry at a guy who was acting so nice. 

“Did I make the food correctly? I have never used those machines before.” 

So this man can design and create the dingirs, but is worried he can’t use the toaster and rice cooker correctly? “It’s fine.” Arturia said and continued eating. 

Gilgamesh looked glad. It was his first time attempting to make food, even if it didn’t involve any cooking. At least it had turned out alright. 

When Arturia finished, she washed the dishes and put them away. Once again, Gilgamesh followed her and watched. “I’m going to my room. Don’t follow me.” She said at last to Gilgamesh. 

“Alright. I love you, Arturia.” 

Arturia abruptly halted her steps. “Don’t say that to me.” She demanded. 

Gilgamesh looked at her with an odd expression. “You cannot possibly expect me to stop saying that I love you.” 

“I don’t want to hear it—not from you!” 

“What on earth do you mean? I would like to accommodate your wishes, but I will not stop expressing my love for you.” 

Arturia clenched her fists into balls. “Love? There is no true love in your weird affections.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Arturia finally turned around to face Gilgamesh. She looked him dead in the eye. “You only seek amusement. Women are toys to you. Once you finish with a plaything, you’d throw it away like garbage. To you, I’m just your current toy.” She spat these accusations like venom. 

It took Gilgamesh a moment to adjust to the accusation. “What did he say to you?” 

“The other Gilgamesh told me all about your affections. He said that, to you, a relationship with me was never meant to last forever. Once I willingly give myself to you, you’ll become bored of me, and throw me away.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh didn’t react for a short while. “Perhaps at one point that was true, but it no longer is the case. My feelings are not so simple anymore.” 

Arturia felt a spark of hope in her heart. “What do you mean?” 

“In the beginning, I’ll admit, I thought of you as a trophy to be won. I wanted to make you my wife as a challenge, to see if I could tame a fiery lioness unlike any women I have met before. Even I was not expecting for those feelings to change. However, somewhere during this war, I started respecting you as an individual. I started wanting to just spend time with you and get to know you. I stopped wanting to own you and starting wanting for you to love me back. I did not know of this change at first. It was your brother who pointed it out to me.” 

‘Kay?’ Arturia wondered if that was the conversation Kay mentioned to her over the phone. 

“Regardless of how I may have felt in the past, I assure you that I am deeply, deeply in love with you now.” 

“And it isn’t a fickle love? It’s something you want to last forever?” 

“Certainly, if you would have me, I would like to remain with you forever.” 

Arturia bit her lower lip. “You say you want me to lay down my sword and live as your wife...do you mean that you want me to give up my wish and live as a normal woman?” 

Gilgamesh nodded his head. “As beautiful as your wish is, it is the root of your unhappiness. I would like for you to experience all the joys you were denied in your previous life. In fact, I am determined to someday make you feel true, genuine happiness.” 

“And you aren’t saying this just because you want to sleep with me?” 

“Of course not. I do not even care about the sex anymore. I just want to be with you. I would wait for you for as long as you need before you are ready to have sex.” 

Arturia had her eyes pointed to the ground. “If all these things really aren’t true...why would archer Gilgamesh lie to me about them?” 

“I...do not believe he was lying. At least, they were not lies to him. I think he firmly believed that my love was the same as his. As I said, even I was not expecting for my feelings to change this drastically. He was wrong, but he was not lying intentionally.” 

“Why would he even bother telling me about this? Why would he try to cause a rift between us?” Arturia asked. 

“In my opinion, he probably only did it to toy with you for his own amusement. Causing issues between us was likely only a byproduct.” 

That would make a lot of sense. Archer Gilgamesh just wanted to watch her in distress. There was no other reason. Arturia’s anger was slipping through her fingers like sand. She let her shoulders slump, releasing the tension she’d been carrying since the night before. “You better be telling the truth...because I want to believe you.” 

Suddenly, Arturia was enveloped in a warm embrace. Her body was pressed against his, and her head rested on his chest. For a while, she just stood unmoving. Then, she wrapped her own arms around him, returning the embrace. She sniffled a bit, but wouldn’t let herself cry. 

“I promise you, Arturia, that my love for you is something I would never lie about.” Gilgamesh said. 

They stood in a warm embrace for a long time, not uttering a single word. ‘I understand now…’ Arturia thought. Her feelings seemed so clear at this moment, while enveloped in his arms. When they separated, Arturia was the first to speak. “I’m sorry. I trusted his words when I should’ve been trusting you.” 

Gilgamesh just smiled at her. “He is me, so I suppose it is an easy mistake.” 

Arturia laughed. “He’s nothing compared to you. You may share the same flaws, but he has none of your charms. You’re alike, but you’re definitely not the same.” 

Gilgamesh’s smile fell. “I just do not understand one thing.” 

“What?” 

“Why did you choose me over the Holy Grail? The grail has been your lifelong dream. I thought your country meant everything to you.” 

Arturia shouldn’t have been surprised at the question. Even Kay was astonished to hear she had chosen a single person over the grail and her wish. “I...I don’t really know. I really considered just letting you die so I could save my country, but I couldn’t do it. Even if you were a jerk and your love was all a farce...I just didn’t want you to die, and I didn’t want to be your killer. Even still, I really considered killing you, but then you smiled at me. It felt like you were forgiving me for thinking of betraying you, and I just couldn’t go through with it after that.” Her shoulders shook during the confession. 

“Well, I suppose I should be thankful. I have already died twice, it would be a shame to die a third time.” Gilgamesh smiled. 

Despite Gilgamesh’s jest, Arturia still felt guilty. She’d seriously considered betraying her sworn ally. What could be worse than that? She could never apologize enough for such a thing! “Truthfully, I’ve been having doubts about my wish ever since I watched Archer and Shirou fight. I had such strong convictions about it before, but now I don’t know if it’s really the right decision. I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time to let go of my failure. I’m sure even Merlin didn’t wish for me to go down this path of regret. But I honestly don’t know what to do if I abandon my wish. What will my future look like without my country? What will I do if I’m not acting as Britain’s king?” 

Arturia looked like she wanted answers, but Gilgamesh wasn’t the person to give them. “I cannot answer these questions for you, Arturia. The only advice I can give you is to do what you want.” 

“But I don’t know what I want! I’ve never done what I want. I never know what’s going to work out in the future.” 

“You are thinking about it too hard. Just do what you desire. Try to determine what you want at the present. You do not have to make any big decisions now. Act on impulse for once.” 

“Do what I desire…?” Arturia scrunched her brow and looked at the floor, contemplative. “Come with me.” She said and tugged on the sleeve of his cuff, pulling him with her. 

“Where are we going?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Just to my room.” Arturia said. He couldn’t see her face, but the tips of her ears were tinged red. 

Arturia led Gilgamesh to her room and closed the door. 

“Why are we in your room?” 

“Just wait for a moment.” Arturia said. She was still turned away from him. She began to unbutton her blouse. 

“Arturia, I told you that if you change in front of me, I will have a harder time controlling myself.” Gilgamesh said. Honestly, how could she still be this dense?

Arturia paused for a moment. “You’re right. Turn around. I’ll tell you when you can turn back.” 

Gilgamesh turned around. He listened to the sound of clothes rustling behind him, wondering why Arturia brought him to her room. ‘She is not going to make me talk to her mongrel brother over the phone, is she?’ He wondered. 

“Alright. You can turn back now.” Arturia said, her voice shaking slightly. 

Gilgamesh was floored when he turned back around, because Arturia stood before him entirely naked, in a shy pose. She fidgeted her hands in front of her belly, as if not knowing what to do with her body. 

There was silence in the room. 

“Well...say something. You’re making me embarrassed.” Arturia said, trying her best not to cover herself on impulse. 

Gilgamesh was just absolutely stunned. Arturia was bare from her head to her toes, even her hair was down. He was having trouble tearing his eyes off of her. Moreover, he was starting to wonder if he was hallucinating. “Did I actually die at the Einzbern castle and this is the dream I am seeing just before my end?” 

“Hah? No! I chose to let you live, remember?” Arturia frowned at Gilgamesh’s reaction. She was hoping this would be all the consent she needed to give and he would take it from there, but now he was just questioning reality and the entirety of his existence! 

“Is this heaven?” 

“Gilgamesh, you’re not dead! This is real!” 

“Let us say that, hypothetically, this is real. What exactly does this mean?” 

“It...it means that I’m giving consent.” Arturia said, shy but resolute. 

Reality was slowly sinking in for Gilgamesh. “Is this...because you feel guilty for almost killing me?” He was still suspicious at the sudden turn of events. 

“N-no, it isn’t like that…you’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you? I’m...doing this because I want to. I have feelings for you…and I want to be close to you. I know I haven’t been very vocal about it, but for a while now...I-I’ve wanted you—!” Arturia wasn’t able to finish her sentence, because Gilgamesh had tackled her into the bed, planting his lips on hers. 

Gilgamesh shifted his weight so that he wasn’t crushing Arturia, and Arturia was able to sink fully into the pleasurable kiss. It was their second kiss, and this one was even more fulfilling than their first. 

When Gilgamesh released Arturia’s lips, he began kissing her face. He kissed her cheeks, nose, forehead, brow—he covered her with soft kisses full of love. “So, you finally admit you have feelings for me?” Gilgamesh asked. 

Arturia blushed. “Yeah, I admit it. Y-you better not disappoint me. I’ll really kill you if it turns out you lied to me about your feelings.” Arturia shrieked when she felt her breast get grabbed. “H-Hey! What are you doing?!” 

“I thought you gave consent?” Gilgamesh said. 

“O-oh. Yeah, you’re right. I forgot. Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous.” Arturia confessed. “You can touch me, it’s fine.” 

“Well, I want to make sure you’re comfortable. It will be no fun if you do not feel pleasure with me. Lay properly on the bed with your head on the pillow, that should be more comfortable.” Gilgamesh said, getting off of Arturia. 

Arturia nodded and laid herself in the middle of the bed, resting her neck and head on her pillow. It was definitely more comfortable than laying flat with her legs hanging over the side of the bed. “Would...would you mind stripping too? I feel embarrassed being the only one naked.” 

“Of course.” Gilgamesh stripped off his clothes and tossed them aside. 

Arturia immediately regretted her decision once his body was completely uncovered. She underestimated how flustered she’d become after seeing his nude body. Gilgamesh was perfectly built, with strong muscles and a slim body. Her face was heated, and she was sure that she was completely red. 

Gilgamesh grinned wickedly upon seeing this. “What is wrong, Arturia? You seem to have turned red.” 

“Sh-shut up!” Arturia said. “Keep making fun of me and I’ll bring up how many boners you’ve gotten because of me.” 

“How _DARE_ you?!” 

“You got one when I stripped in front of you, you got one when I sat on your lap, you got one when I beat you up, you got one when I was kidnapped by Caster, you’ve had a boner this whole time—!”

“Alright, alright, I understand! Just spare me from this recollection! 

Arturia puffed her chest out proudly. Then, to her surprise, Gilgamesh started to laugh. “What?” She asked. 

“You are just the only woman who could resist me like this. It is far too much fun. Being with a woman who sees herself as my equal is...enthralling.” 

Arturia laid surprised for a moment, then smiled. “We are equals.” 

Gilgamesh nodded. “Indeed, we are. I have accepted that you are as precious to me as Enkidu.” 

Arturia blushed slightly. “I’m glad.” She smiled. “Come over here, you’re keeping me waiting.” 

Gilgamesh grinned and pressed his lips against Arturia’s. Arturia wrapped her arms around Gilgamesh’s neck, bringing him closer. Soon, Gilgamesh’s tongue began rubbing against her lips, asking for access. Arturia opened her mouth and allowed Gilgamesh to explore it with his tongue. She clumsily tried to reciprocate with her own tongue, but it was obvious who had more experience. 

Arturia felt desire welling within her, and the muscles in her body relaxed into the kiss. She felt his fingers graze her nipples as he began to softly stimulate her body. Her breathing became ragged and she panted softly. She could feel the heat of arousal building in her loins. This time, she didn’t feel afraid of the arousal, or the pounding in her chest. She could confidently say that she wanted him too. 

Gilgamesh’s hand traveled downward, searching for the heat between her legs. when his fingers brushed against Arturia’s clitoris, she let out a sharp moan. 

“Do not worry. I will be gentle since it is your first time.” Gilgamesh said. 

“But It’s not my first time—“

“Shhhh shhh shh.” 

“I did it with Rin—“

“SHHH SHHH SHH.” 

“I guess you could say that it’s my first time with a man.” Arturia said. 

“It still counts as your first.” 

“You’re really stuck on that, aren’t you? Fine, it’s my first, at least with a man.” 

“What did the Mongrelette do with you?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Rin? Well, she used her fingers first, then we pressed ourselves together.” 

“Did she use her mouth?” 

“You can use your mouth down there?!” Arturia asked. 

Now Gilgamesh was slightly surprised. “You did not know?” 

Arturia shook her head. “I told you, the only porn I’ve seen is the disturbing tentacle porn Kay showed me when I was a kid.” 

“Then I will show you the wonders of oral sex! I will be your first oral and your best oral!” Gilgamesh said smugly. 

“Well, go ahead. It seems kind of dirty to use your mouth there, though.” Arturia said. 

“It is quite messy, but it is worth it.” Gilgamesh said. He moved down so that his head was near her hips. 

Arturia waited with her legs spread out in anxious anticipation, only to feel a jolt of pleasure when his tongue first stroked her. Arturia began to moan at the sensations. Gilgamesh wasn’t kidding, oral really was worth it. She tried her best not to stifle her moans on impulse. She rocked her hips into his mouth, and tried not to crush his head by squeezing her legs around him. 

Then, Arturia felt a finger enter her. She was slick enough to where it slid in easily, but the foreign sensation was surprising. Gilgamesh started pumping the finger in and out. Arturia cried out at the pleasure. It was overwhelming. Gilgamesh’s technique was leagues above Rin’s, that much was true. She hadn’t realized that skill level could make such a difference. She painted and moaned and writhed on the bed, her fingers digging into the sheets. She felt herself coming close, like she was climbing up a peak. She was about to fall off when she yelled, “Wait! Stop, stop, stop!” 

Gilgamesh was so surprised that he stopped to look up at Arturia. “Is something wrong?” He asked. 

Arturia tried to catch her breath. “I...I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right.” 

“Did it hurt?” 

“No! It wasn’t anything you did. Something just felt wrong. Not physically.” Arturia’s breathing slowly returned to a normal rate. 

“You are nervous, then? You managed to cum with the Mongrelette, right?” 

“Yes, but it was different with Rin. With Rin, I had to do it or else we would all die.” 

“Ah, I see. You were able to do it then because it was a duty, but you feel scared to do it now because it is only for pleasure.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia looked slightly downcast. “Sorry. It just feels like I’m doing something shameful.” 

“Your chivalrous upbringing has convinced you that pleasure for the sake of pleasure is wrong, how sad. Well, I will tell you right now that there is nothing wrong with it. It is perfectly fine for a human to do something for pleasure, not only is it fine, but it is completely normal. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Arturia looked down, uncomfortable. “You can go ahead and finish. I’m sorry for interrupting.” 

Gilgamesh went back to his task and Arturia began heating up again. She was already close, so it took barely any time for her to climax, clenching her toes from the pleasure. 

When she finished, guilt descended upon her. She almost wanted to apologize, but she didn’t know to whom. 

Gilgamesh noticed her uncomfortable expression. “If you want to stop there, it is fine.” 

Arturia studied his face. He was completely serious. He was asking her if she wanted to stop, even while having a painful hard-on. It was then that she remembered why she wanted to do this in the first place. It was never about seeking pleasure, she just wanted to be close to the person she’d fallen in love with. Her guilt was overpowered with a much stronger emotion. “No. I’m fine. I want to do this. Lay down, you must be in pain.” 

Arturia had Gilgamesh lie down on the bed. Then, she moved to hover over his pelvic region. Before doing anything, she just stared at his cock for a few seconds. She’d never seen one this close up. The first thing she was urged to do was poke it, and immediately recoiled when she heard him hiss. “I’m sorry! Was it painful?!” 

“No. Just, can you hurry? I have basically had this boner for the past two weeks.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia nodded. It was then that she realized she didn’t know what to do. She started by putting the tip in her mouth. She heard him moan, so that was a good sign. She tasted something salty from the tip. She couldn’t fit the entire thing in her mouth, so she focused her tongue on the head and settled for just stroking the shaft. “Am I doing this right?” She took her mouth off him to ask. 

“Yeah. Just focus on the tip and use your tongue. You are doing fine.” Gilgamesh said, breathless. 

Gilgamesh was having a hard time holding back. He’d been sexually starved for the past two weeks, he was already close to finished by the time they began. But he had to last at least five minutes or else he wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror afterward. So he held his climax back for as long as he could handle. It was hard to believe that such a sloppy blowjob would have so much effect on him. But watching Arturia trying to shyly pleasure him with her mouth was incredibly erotic, not to mention adorable. 

“Arturia...I am going to…!” Gilgamesh warmed. 

Arturia seemed to get the message and removed herself, but he came so quickly that some semen still got in her mouth and on her face. “Oh god, what is this stuff?! It’s everywhere! Jesus, it tastes so bad!” Arturia gagged. 

Gilgamesh wasn’t paying attention. He just felt an indescribable relief of tension. It felt like his soul had just reached Nirvana. He’d kept in his lust for two whole weeks, and now he finally had release. “Thank the gods…” 

Arturia was wiping the sticky liquid off her face. “Disgusting…! So gross!” She almost regretted the fellatio entirely. But, at least Gilgamesh was happy. Actually, he seemed strangely quiet. “Gilgamesh? Are you okay?” 

“I think I just went to heaven...it has been so long…” 

“Well, I’m glad it was good, but if you stay dead like that we won’t be able to go any further.” 

Gilgamesh shot up to a sitting position. “I am fine! I am absolutely ready to go all the way!” 

Arturia sighed at his over the top manner. But, then again, that was one of the things she fell in love with. His awkward romantic fumbling and haughty personality—she fell in love with both his flaws and his merits. She smiled at the soft thought. But there was still something she needed to ask before they went all the way. “Gilgamesh, I need to clarify something with you.” She said. 

Gilgamesh’s surprise at the interruption gave way to a serious face. “I am listening.” 

“You say that you want me to be yours, and I understand that, that’s part of a relationship. I’m willing to be yours. But, relationships work both ways. I won’t be satisfied just belonging to you, because I want you to be mine as well! So...what I’m saying is...if you want me to belong to you, you’ll have to consent to belonging to me as well.” Arturia said, somewhat awkwardly. She seemed a bit shy saying the words out loud. 

Gilgamesh studies her expression. “I understand what you are saying, but you did not think to ask me this before sucking my dick?” 

“I—that could be considered repayment for a favor! You ate me out, so it’s only fair that I pleasure you in return, right? Ah, whatever! Just answer the question!” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh chuckled at her reaction. “Well, my proposal would not be worth much if I were not willing to consent to such a small thing. Anyway, it may not be so bad to be a trophy husband.” 

“I never said you’d be a trophy husband!” 

“You get what I mean. I do not think I would mind belonging to a confident, beautiful woman like you.” 

Arturia flushed crimson. Her mouth curved upward in a shy smile. She cleared her throat. “Well, if you’re really willing to be in a real relationship with me, then you can have my body.” She laid back on the bed and spread her legs out. She was still flushing in embarrassment, but didn’t seem nervous anymore.

Gilgamesh smiled back at her, but on the inside he was crying tears of pure, unadulterated joy at the idea of finally getting laid by his waifu. 

“Uh, I just have a question...will it hurt?” Arturia asked as Gilgamesh was positioning himself over her. 

“It will in the beginning if it is your first time being penetrated. If you are prepared properly and are given time to adjust, the pain should be bearable. I am not used to holding back, but since it is your first time, and I love you, I will be gentle.” Gilgamesh said. 

“That thing will really fit inside me?” Arturia asked, looking at Gilgamesh’s erect cock. 

“It will. The human body is surprisingly elastic.” 

“It looks too big...but I’ll take your word for it.” 

Gilgamesh nodded. “Let me know if the pain becomes unbearable.” He positioned his cock to Arturia’s entrance and began to push in. 

Arturia immediately felt the tension of being stretched. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn’t quiet the butterflies in her stomach. Then, she felt a sting inside. Gilgamesh immediately halted his entrance when he noticed her wince. “Am I bleeding?” She asked. 

“Only a little.” 

Arturia nodded. She waited until the pain subsided. The pain lessened after a minute or so. “Okay, you can keep going.” 

Gilgamesh nodded and continued to push himself inside. He went at an incredibly slow rate, forcing himself to hold back for Arturia’s sake. Finally, he was fully inside her. 

Arturia took a few deep breaths, letting herself adjust to his size. She looked down at where they were joined. She suddenly felt joy in her heart. “We’re really connected…” She said. 

“Yeah…” Gilgamesh replied. He was having a very hard time holding back. Arturia felt so good, her walls snugly wrapped around his cock. But he couldn’t just let everything loose yet. He’d waited two weeks for this, he couldn’t fuck up where it counts most! 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. You can move now.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh began to thrust in and out, soft and slow at first. He forced himself to go at a slow pace, only gradually gaining speed. 

Arturia felt the discomfort lessen, but it was soon replaced with a new feeling. She felt pleasure when he thrust inside, and longing whenever he pulled back. She soon began to make small noises in the back of her throat, which soon escalated into full moans. 

“How is it?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Ahh...it’s good—nn!” Arturia said. 

For Gilgamesh, it felt heavenly. Arturia was tight and soft, and she felt perfect around him. Arturia lying on the bed, moaning and gasping in pleasure under him—it was an amazing sight. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. 

Arturia reciprocated the kiss, but then grimaced and pulled back. “Why do you taste like rotten fish?” She asked. 

Gilgamesh chuckled. “I hate to tell you this, but that is how you taste.” 

Arturia realized what he meant, and suddenly felt bad about making such a big deal about how he tasted when he came. “Sorry...let’s just keep going.” 

Gilgamesh decided to just nibble on her neck instead of kissing mouth-to-mouth. He continued his thrusting, and Arturia’s moans rang out like the tune of a sweet song. He began to speed up as he went on, and Arturia responded by moaning louder. 

Arturia wondered if she was being too loud, but there was no one else in the house, so it should be alright. She was dizzy with lust and couldn’t think straight. She felt hot all over her body, and the tension in her loins only increased as they continued. She could slowly feel herself coming undone. 

She wasn’t the only one who was nearing their end. Gilgamesh’s thrusts became more erratic as he came closer to his peak. He realized that he would finish before Arturia, so he slowed down his thrusts and started playing with her clitoris. Arturia screamed at the extra stimulation. “I think I’m about to cum!” She yelled. Her toes began to clench and she shook as she reached her climax. Gilgamesh groaned as Arturia’s walls became incredibly tight around him, and was pushed towards his own climax with a few more thrusts.

Gilgamesh pulled out after he finished inside her. They both caught their breaths. “How was it?” Gilgamesh asked Arturia with a smirk. 

“It felt nice.” Arturia said. She still felt the warmth inside of her from where they were connected. “You’re too good at this. How many women have you been with?” She suddenly felt slightly jealous. 

“You want a number? Just women or everyone?” Gilgamesh asked. 

‘Oh right, he’s been with men too.’ Arturia thought. But there was no reason to be jealous of men right? They were in an entire other category from her. “Just women.” 

“I have no idea. I have been with far too many to count.” Gilgamesh said, serious and awkward at the same time. 

Arturia grimaced slightly. Then she turned away to hide the slight flush in her cheeks. “How was I...compared to them?” 

“Those other women brought me pleasure on earth. You took me all the way to heaven.” Gilgamesh smiled at her. 

Now Arturia was as red as a tomato. “Nice save.” She admitted. Gilgamesh was far too smooth. Now she was just flustered instead of jealous. 

“How was this compared to your first time?” Gilgamesh asked with a proud expression, already knowing her answer. 

“Well, there’s no question that your technique is far superior to Rin’s...but with Rin we were both virgins and I felt more comfortable...so Rin.” Arturia admitted. 

Gilgamesh looked absolutely insulted. “Well, if we are being brutally honest, my experiences with Enkidu—!” 

“You _don’t_ want to finish that sentence, Gilgamesh.” Arturia warned. 

The two glared at each other with annoyance, before Arturia’s angry face fell and she giggled. 

“We’re having a dumb couples fight. I never thought I’d get to experience this.” She smiled. 

Gilgamesh dropped his own angered expression and smiled. Even he’d been doubtful that this love of his would work out. After all, he really did think he was going to die that day. Not only did he survive, but the girl of his dreams confessed to him the day after. He really got lucky this time. 

“Gilgamesh, what are we going to do tomorrow?” Arturia asked, suddenly worried. 

“I imagine we will have to enlist help from the mongrel and the Mongrelette. Then, we will have to think of a strategy to kill the other me before he can destroy the world using the power of the Holy Grail.” 

“So...we're probably going to die tomorrow, huh?” Arturia said. 

“That is indeed the most likely outcome.” Gilgamesh said. “Though, I do not think that other me would kill you. Not immediately, so long as you are of interest to him. Though, I think the fate that would await you after that may be worse than death…” A future of rape and forced marriage, only to be discarded someday. That was far worse than dying on the battlefield. 

“Don’t worry. No matter what happens to me, I’ll always remain loyal to you.” Arturia said with resolve. 

“If you say something like that, it will only make me worry more…” Gilgamesh could imagine Arturia desperately holding on to her pride as she was being raped by a man with her lover’s face. The mere thought of it distressed him. “But, you do not have to worry about that. No matter what, I will not allow that outcome. If I die, I will at least take him down with me.” 

“How will you manage to do that?” 

“I will find a way!” 

“Will you resummon yourself like you did in Babylonia?” 

“I really might! I doubt my spirit will just quietly go to rest while some jerk with my face makes moves on my wife!” 

Arturia chuckled. “Is there really a chance that we’ll win?” 

“There is. I have a plan. I need the mongrel’s help for it, though. The mongrellete would be useful too.” 

“I know Shirou would definitely come if the work is at stake, but Rin...she might.” 

“She would. Because your future is at stake. A true friend would drop anything in order to help a friend in need.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia smiled. 

“Anyway, for now we should rest. I suggest we cuddle on the couch like a couple in shoujo manga until dinner.” Gilgamesh made a move to get out of bed, but Arturia stopped him. 

“We...we don’t have to end this so soon. We could keep going. I’ve heard there’s different positions couples can try during sex.” Arturia said. 

“You want to try something like that so soon? This was your first time being penetrated, remember?” Gilgamesh said in surprise. 

“You don’t want to?” 

“Of course I want to. But I am saying that, for a woman’s first time, it may be excessive. You will already be sore in the morning.” 

“Why are you being so obstinate about this? You’re the one who’s always horny.” 

That may be true, but right now Gilgamesh was in the phase known as post-nut clarity. That is the phase where a man’s thinking is most clear, untainted by sexual urges. Nothing could tempt him in this phase. 

Then Arturia angrily got on her hands and knees, with her backside pointed towards Gilgamesh. “This is a position right? Where the woman is on her hands and knees?” Her ass and cunt were on full view in this pose. 

Whelp…there goes his post-nut clarity. It flew out the window and disappeared into the sky, never to be seen again. How unfair, if she shows herself off in such a sexy pose, how was he supposed to resist? Gilgamesh felt his cock stir. He cleared his throat. He still had his pride to hold onto, at least, even though his post-nut clarity was gone. “Arturia, we have to fight tomorrow. I cannot make you too sore to fight.” 

Arturia pouted incredulously. 

“Arturia, why are you so adamant? You know you would have a hard time fighting while sore between the legs.” 

It was then that Arturia sighed and sat down. “I was just thinking that...well, we might die tomorrow...so we should at least make our last night together memorable. Because...because heroic spirits don’t take memories with them when they return to the Throne of Heroes.” Her voice began to shake slightly. “So if you die...even if you were summoned again...you probably wouldn’t remember me.” Arturia suddenly felt warm arms embrace her from behind. She felt herself calm slightly. 

“Arturia, even if I do die and forget you, if we meet again, just tell me who you are, and I am sure I will fall in love with you all over again. Again and again, forever.” Gilgamesh reassured her. 

Arturia let out a breath. “Okay. We don’t have to go any further today. You’re right, I’m sore. But, what are we supposed to do until tomorrow? It’s only late afternoon right now.” 

Gilgamesh pondered. He felt like all the shoujo manga he’d read had prepared him for this exact moment. “We should do things that a couple would do! Like cuddling on the couch and watching movies!! Or eating a romantic dinner together!!!” Now he was getting excited at the idea of doing romantic things with Arturia. 

“Well...I suppose we could. I’m not very experienced in that area, though.” 

“Worry not. I have read dozens of shoujo mangas during these past two weeks. I know exactly what to do.” Gilgamesh said triumphantly. 

And so, after taking a shower together, they watched a few anime movies on the couch while snuggled in each other’s arms. Then they ate dinner together and laughed at how bad Arturia’s cooking was. When it came time for bed, Arturia spoke as Gilgamesh began to lie down on his futon. 

“You can sleep with me in my bed tonight, if you want.” Arturia then blushed. “I mean...we’re lovers so it’s not like it’s weird…” 

Gilgamesh grinned in excitement. “I will gladly accept that offer.” He swaggered over to the bed and laid down with Arturia. Arturia turned off the lights and they were left in darkness, with only the moonlight streaming in from the window as a light source. 

Even in the dark room, Gilgamesh was still able to clearly make out Arturia’s face. She gave him a pure smile. “I’m happy.” She said. 

“You are...happy?” Gilgamesh asked in surprise. 

“I’m so happy, I don’t even think I deserve it.” Arturia admitted. Her emerald eyes shined in the moonlight. 

“You definitely deserve it. I promise you that.” Gilgamesh said. “I am happy too. We basically consummated our marriage tonight.” 

“Marriage? Who said anything about marriage?” 

“Eh?” 

“I never agreed to marry you.” 

“Eh?! But...but we even confirmed our feelings for each other! And we agreed to belong to each other! And we had sex!” 

“So? That doesn’t necessarily make us married. Get with the times, Gilgamesh. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend at most.” Arturia sighed. “Propose to me again later and I might accept it.” 

“Then I will—!” Gilgamesh began but Arturia put a finger over his mouth to stop him. 

“Not tonight. At least wait a day. Jeez, you’re so impatient.” Arturia shook her head at her lover’s ridiculousness. 

“Well, someday we will be married. And you will become queen of all the world.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia suddenly grimaced. “That’s wrong, Gilgamesh. I won’t settle for becoming a queen. If I give up my kingship and become a normal woman, I want you to give up your reign and become my husband. It’s not as if this world needs two dead kings, anyway. There’s no need for us to remain kings. We can just live normally, like neither of us ever got the chance to do. So...if you propose to me again, I’ll assume you’ve accepted these terms.” 

Gilgamesh was stunned. She was asking him to give up his kingship? “What if I refuse?” 

“Then...maybe this relationship really wasn’t meant to last forever.” 

Gilgamesh’s heart sank at those words. 

“But don’t worry about that tonight. Let’s just focus on resting for the battle to come.” Arturia kissed Gilgamesh on the lips. 

Fifteen minutes later, Arturia was soundly asleep. Gilgamesh however, remained awake for a while longer. He had serious things to consider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Finally done. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Finally, the feelings are requited! Also, I think the sex scene was cute. Very wholesome, normal lovemaking. I’m overall pretty happy with this chapter. 
> 
> With that out of the way, I have an announcement:we have officially reached 100k! This makes MA my first 100k+ fic ever! Honestly, this fic was supposed to be a short one. Like...40,000 words. It ended up over double that! And it’s not even finished! Wow. Anyway I’m very happy. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Gilgamesh and Arturia, in jovial moods, proceeded to walk to Shirou’s house. Once there, Arturia would confess her true identity and tell her friends about the other Gilgamesh and his plan to commit genocide using the Holy Grail. 

“I really have to tell Rin and Shirou my identity?” Arturia asked. 

“We need to explain to them why the other me is after you.” Gilgamesh said. 

“The fact that it’s another _you_ doesn’t explain it already?” 

“Not well enough. Are you scared to disclose your identity?” 

“Well...I’ve kept it a secret for so long, and the one person I did tell used the information to blackmail me and forced me to watch hours of tentacle porn. So yeah, I’m a little nervous.” 

“I will not let that happen to you again. I swear on my life you will never have to watch another minute of tentacle hentai.” 

“Well, thanks I guess. I mean, I do trust Rin and Shirou, and I definitely don’t think they’ll traumatize me like Kay did with his tentacle hentai, but I can’t help but feel nervous about disclosing my lifelong secret.” 

They arrived at Shirou’s house. Arturia knocked on the door. After a few seconds of waiting, the door was promptly opened by Shirou. “Arturia? Caster? What’re you doing here so early in the morning?” Shirou asked. 

“Well...I have something to talk about...and we have a huge problem.” Arturia said. “Can we come in?” 

“Of course.” Shirou stepped aside so the couple could enter. “Rin, Arturia’s here!” He called out to the hallway. 

With rapid thumps of footsteps, Rin ran to the door. “Arturia, are you here to bang—I mean hang?” She said. Arturia laughed awkwardly. 

“You will never get the chance to bang her again, because Arturia is my girlfriend now.” Gilgamesh said proudly. 

Rin’s jaw dropped. “Your _what?!_ ” 

“Uhh...Gilgamesh and I are dating now.” Arturia admitted. 

Rin then noticed the love bites on Arturia’s neck and gasped. “You two banged?!” She yelled. 

“Yes.” Gilgamesh gloated. Arturia was red in the face. 

“No fair! Arturia, break up with him so we can bang again!” Rin demanded. 

“Rin, we’re dating, remember?” Shirou said. 

“Oh come on, are you really saying that you don’t want to watch two girls fuck? Every guy likes lesbians!” 

Shirou blushed. “I mean…” 

“It is out of the question. Arturia is my girlfriend now, and she does not want to break up with me. She has me now to fulfill her sexual desires.” 

“Rin...I love you a lot but...I’m dating Gilgamesh.” Arturia said, siding with her boyfriend. 

Rin fell to her knees and wept. “Why did I stay in the closet for so long?! This cursed world!” She jumped back up and wiped her tears away. “That doesn’t mean I’m giving up though! I’ll taste Arturia one last time even if it kills me!” Rin yelled. 

Gilgamesh and Rin huffed, both being incredibly stubborn. 

“Guys, let’s all calm down. Arturia, you said we have a problem, right?” Shirou asked. 

Arturia stiffened. “Er...yes. It’s...really quite a strange problem that might require a bit of background explanation—“ 

“So, basically, there is another me, but sort of from an alternate universe, actually I am the one from the alternate universe, and he was summoned to the last war and lived here until this war due to the power of the Holy Grail, and he is after Arturia and also wants to commit mass genocide.” Gilgamesh interrupted and explained. 

Rin and Shirou just stared blankly at his words. 

“I think we should sit down for the rest of the explanation.” Arturia said with a sigh. 

And so, for the next hour Arturia exposed her identity and revealed all the events that happened with the other Gilgamesh, including Archer Gilgamesh’s plan to destroy the world. 

“Jeez, sounds like you got caught up in some crazy shit after we left, huh?” Rin said. 

“Yeah. I certainly wasn’t expecting it.” Arturia confessed. 

“Wow...I can’t believe my best friend is King Arthur...and that I BANGED KING ARTHUR.” Rin said. “A life of being a model star student and this is probably still my greatest accomplishment.” 

“Do not get too cocky, it will never happen again.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Pshh, as if I’d listen to you.” 

“Wait...you believe me, Rin?” Arturia asked. 

“Well, ever since the war started you’ve been hella sus. I mean, there was the fact that you had better sword skills than Saber, there was a heroic spirit worshipping you as his idol, and there was another heroic spirit that fell in love with you at first sight. I knew _something_ was fishy. I wasn’t quite expecting King Arthur, but it’s a welcome surprise. Besides, this fits with your legend.” Rin said. 

“It does?” 

“King Arthur, the Once and Future King, was meant to come back to life someday to save the world. Considering there’s a deranged maniac about to use the Holy Grail to commit genocide, I’d say there’s a decent reason for you to reincarnate.” 

Arturia was stunned. She hadn’t thought about it that way. Maybe this was her reason for reincarnating, not her foolish wish. “I’d be happy if that were the case.” She smiled. 

“So that’s why you were Saber’s idol? Because you’re King Arthur?” Shirou asked. 

“Yes. We revealed our True Names as part of a knight’s code of chivalry, and he told me that King Arthur had been his idol for his entire life.” Arturia said. 

“So that’s why he swore on King Arthur’s name in his last moments…” Shirou said.

“Anyway, Rin, I have something I need to talk about with you in private.” Arturia said. 

“Sure. Shirou, Caster, get lost. Haul ass outside and don’t bother listening in through the walls.” Rin commanded. 

Gilgamesh looked stubborn, but agreed for Arturia’s sake. He and Shirou walked outside. He watched Shirou enter the earthen shed, and after a few moments, decided to follow. He opened the door without knocking, and accidentally startled the boy inside. 

“Geez, Caster, I thought you learned how to knock.” Shirou said. 

“Does that not only apply to women? You said knocking is a part of being a mature man, and that a man can not open a woman’s door without knocking first.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I guess I didn’t get the message across very well. Knocking before entering applies to anyone.” 

“You mongrels and your arbitrary rules.” Gilgamesh sighed. 

“Well, is there any reason you came?” Shirou asked. 

There actually was something Gilgamesh needed to get off his chest. “There is another version of me that wants to rape Arturia…when I came back and saw him forcing a kiss on Arturia, I was furious. I was furious that any man saw fit to take Arturia by force. And afterward, when Arturia started acting distant, I was worried about whatever trauma she had faced by this man. I do not think I had ever felt that way before. In my youth, I will admit, I took many women against their wills, whether or not they were married. I always thought that if the woman felt pleasure, it did not really matter, even after Enkidu showed me that what I was doing was wrong. I suppose I gained a new perspective after seeing Arturia be almost assaulted.” He didn’t know why he was confessing this to some useless mongrel, but it wasn’t something he felt he could say to Arturia, who was the victim in this case. 

“Well, I think that’s how it is for a lot of guys. You don’t really feel much when you’re so disconnected to the crimes, but when someone you love is the victim, suddenly things change and you start feeling real emotions for it. I definitely don’t condone whatever you did in your youth, but you’ve obviously grown and changed since then, right? I mean, according to Arturia, you waited until she was ready. So I don’t think you can blame yourself for what that other guy did, even if he has the same identity as you.” Shirou said. 

Gilgamesh huffed. “Perhaps there is something to your words, mongrel.” He sat down on the floor of the shed. “Actually, there is a reason I came to talk to you. There is something I want you to project.” 

Arturia and Rin walked out of the house, their discussion being a rather short one. “Where do you think Gilgamesh and Shirou are?” 

“They’re probably just circle-jerking in the shed.” Rin said.

The two girls opened the door to the shed and Arturia’s eyes went wide at what she saw in Gilgamesh’s hands. “My sword!” Arturia exclaimed. 

Gilgamesh was holding what seemed like a perfect replica of Excalibur. He had a grin on his face. “It is nothing but a fake, but it will serve us just fine.” 

“But how did you make it?!” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh showed her the paper in his hand. It was a perfectly made blueprint of her sword, down to the very last detail. “I saw that sword a million times in your memories. Who would I be if I could not draw up a simple blueprint of it.” 

“Amazing…” Arturia murmured. The sword began to disappear. Shirou panted for breath at the exertion of projecting Excalibur.

“With the amount of mana you have currently, we should be able to produce a large blast using this sword. The blast should be able to match Saber’s Noble Phantasm. I believe that is the only way for us to destroy the Holy Grail.” Gilgamesh said to Arturia. 

Shirou, Rin, and Arturia just stared at Gilgamesh in astonishment. 

“...what?” Gilgamesh finally asked. 

“Goldie’s being smart for once!” Rin yelled. “This is an unprecedented turn of events!” 

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Gilgamesh asked, annoyed. 

“I mean…I know you’re smart since I saw your memories, but Shirou and Rin have never seen you in your planning mode.” Arturia said. 

“When did Goldie become useful? I wonder if it’s because he got laid? His mental capacity probably went up forty percent now that he isn’t horny!” Rin exclaimed. 

“I am always useful!” Gilgamesh defended his pride. 

Shirou turned away and whistled, not wanting to be part of the conversation. Rin just raised a brow at him. 

“I think he’s useful.” Arturia said. 

“Thank you, Arturia.” Gilgamesh crossed his arms happily. 

“He’s always good for moral support and eye candy.” Arturia specified. 

Now Gilgamesh was suddenly less happy. 

“So, did you two have some sort of bromance heart-to-heart in here?” Rin asked.

“A heart-to-heart? With _this_ mongrel faker? As if.” Gilgamesh said. 

“I mean, Caster, we did kind of—!” 

“Shut up, mongrel! As if I would confide in a faker like this!” Gilgamesh yelled at Shirou. 

Rin snickered. “Yeah, shut up, Shirou.” 

“Why are you always so mean, Rin?” Shirou asked. 

The four went back into the house and worked out a game-plan for tonight. After that, they decided to just pass the time until their big fight with Archer Gilgamesh. 

“Hey, Goldie…let’s bring out the booze.” Rin said with a grin. 

That was a proposition Gilgamesh could get in on. He brought out a pitcher of wine from his Gate of Babylon. 

“Uh, should we really be getting drunk right before a big fight?” Shirou asked. 

“Oh come on, it’ll be fine if we just have a little.” Rin said, pouring herself some wine. 

But Rin had vastly underestimated how horny a new couple could get after a few cups of wine. Gilgamesh was unbuttoning Arturia’s shirt while passionately kissing her. Arturia grabbed at his chest for support, dizzy with lust and alcohol. 

Rin was enamored, wondering how she could get in on some action with Arturia. 

Shirou, meanwhile, was flustered. “Get a room, you two!” He finally yelled. 

Gilgamesh then seemed to take notice of the voyeur and her boyfriend, then stood up and led Arturia to another room. He slammed the door shut. 

“Wait! Not that room! That’s my room!” Shirou yelled. Rin followed him to the door to his room. 

Gilgamesh layed Arturia down on the futon on the floor. Arturia was still panting from their kissing. Gilgamesh slipped his finger under her skirt and started fingering her. Arturia whimpered at the feeling. “Arturia, do you know whose room we are in?” Gilgamesh asked in a seductive tone. 

Arturia opened her eyes and looked around. The room was incredibly plain, and there wasn’t much indication of whose room it was. “Who?” 

“It is that mongrel’s room.” Gilgamesh said with a sly grin. 

“ _Ah!_ Wait! We can’t do this in Shirou’s room!” Arturia said. 

“Why not?” Gilgamesh asking, feigning innocence. He didn’t stop fingering her even while asking. 

“B-because it’s impolite!” Arturia said. 

“Really? The mongrel would have stopped us by now if he really cared. I do not think there is anything to worry about.” Gilgamesh said as he slipped off her panties. 

“ _Nn_ —you think so?” Arturia asked, panting. 

“Absolutely.” Gilgamesh said while positioning himself to enter her. 

After Arturia accepted this, Gilgamesh slipped himself into her cavern. 

Rin and Shirou were arguing outside his room about the morality of breaking into the room while Arturia and Gilgamesh had sex. 

“C’mon Shirou, I wanna enjoy the show!” Rin said. 

“It’s not a show Rin—!” 

Then, it started. Loud, ravenous female moans flew right out of the paper thin walls of the Japanese style house. 

“Wh-what's going on in there?!” Shirou asked. 

“Nothing too extreme. Arturia’s just kind of a screamer. I actually found it rather cute while I was screwing her.” Rin answered. 

The giant moans made Shirou uncomfortable, so he grabbed Rin’s hand and ran with her to the western style rooms on the other style of the house. 

They finally entered Rin’s room, and Rin forced Shirou to let go of her hand. “Hey, what was that for?! I was listening!” 

“Rin, I’m just not super comfortable with you trying to get in Arturia’s pants again.” 

“I’ll let you watch!” Rin said. “C’mon, you MUST like lesbians! Every guy does!” 

“I mean...yeah, I do. But I don’t know, Arturia is already dating someone too.” 

“Oh please. They got together after two weeks. They’re the equivalent of a shotgun wedding. They won’t last.” Rin said. 

“Rin...doesn’t that apply to us too?” 

“Shut up, Shirou! I don’t wanna hear your whining!” 

By this time, Gilgamesh was now fucking Arturia on her side, and she was moaning just as loud. 

“Rin, I’m just saying, i don’t know how comfortable I am with you being so sexually attracted to Arturia.” 

“What, so you’re homophobic now?” 

“I never said that!” 

“Okay, if your big problem is that me and Arturia are both in relationships, then we’ll just have a foursome!” Rin said. 

“What?” 

Now, Arturia and Gilgamesh were fucking doggy style. 

“A foursome!” Rin presented her idea once again. 

“How would that even work?” Shirou asked. 

“Me and Arturia would have hot sex, and you and Caster would go fuck in the corner or something.” Rin explained. 

“Rin, I’m straight!” 

“I told you it wouldn’t matter if you’re with Caster!” 

“Why are you so confident about that?!” 

“I just fucking know, shirou! I just fucking know!” Rin exclaimed. 

Now Arturia was on top, and she and Gilgamesh were making out furiously. 

“Well I’m gonna try and get in on some of that Arturia action!” Rin said. 

“Rin, no, please!” 

Rin walked out of the room and began walking to the Japanese section of the house. Shirou followed her, begging for her not to make the situation worse. 

Just as Rin arrived at Shirou’s door, the moaning suddenly stopped. Rin and Shirou looked at each other in bewilderment. Rin finally opened the door, only to find Arturia, completely naked, sound asleep on the futon, and Gilgamesh lying next to her (also naked). Gilgamesh put his finger to his lips, shushing the two confused teenagers. Apparently, Gilgamesh and Arturia fucked so hard that Arturia passed out after their fourth round. 

An hour later, after Arturia woke up from her nap, she and Gilgamesh were kneeling on the floor in apology (Gilgamesh was of course forced to kneel by Arturia). Arturia had been forced to chug a liter of water to get the alcohol out of her system. 

“So, after a few stingy drinks, you two broke out in furious sex and now one of our best fighters is walking _WITH A LIMP._ ” Rin said, standing over the couple. “What do you two have to say for yourselves?” 

“This was my fault, Rin. I kept asking for it harder.” Arturia said, bowing her head. 

“Yeah, but he obviously gave it to you harder even though he knew he shouldn’t. He’s just as at fault. Do you have anything to say, Caster?” Rin asked. 

“I have no regrets.” Gilgamesh said proudly. 

“Gilgamesh, bow your head properly!” Arturia scolded. 

Gilgamesh annoyedly bowed his head. Seeing the opportunity, Rin promptly placed her foot atop Gilgamesh's head, and smashed his cranium into the floor—his face taking most of the impact. “What did you say, punk?” Rin asked again, her foot smooshing Gilgamesh's face into the floor. 

“ _I have no regrets._ ” Gilgamesh said again stubbornly. 

“Rin, please excuse him. We were both intoxicated and made a bad decision. Gilgamesh held back really well for me last night. He was very careful and polite for my first time.” Arturia said. 

“Are you joking? He was practically sober today!” Rin said. 

“I know he looks that way, but I promise you he was intoxicated. Right, Gilgamesh?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “ _Hmph!_ Intoxicated with only that amount of alcohol? Don’t make me laugh!” 

“Holy shit he really was drunk.” Rin said, astonished. Arturia only nodded her head. 

“Why are you suddenly believing her?!” Gilgamesh said. 

“If you were fully sober, you would’ve tried to make excuses for yourself and claim to be drunk. Instead you let your pride get in the way.” Rin explained. 

“Well...shut up.” Gilgamesh huffed. 

“Well, what should we do now until the fight tonight?” Shirou asked. 

“Isn’t it obvious? They both owe me for being stupid, so naturally they should let me screw Arturia!” Rin said. 

“NO!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Rin, I don’t know how comfortable I am with you having sex with Arturia while dating me.” Shirou said. 

“Then it will be a threesome!” Rin said. 

“Mongrelette, I will not allow for you to be anywhere near Arturia!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Then it will be a foursome! Arturia and I would have passionate sexual intercourse while Shirou and caster screw in the corner.” Rin said. 

“No!” Gilgamesh and Shirou screamed at the same time.

“Ugh. Why must you make life so difficult for me.” Rin lamented. 

“How about, instead of a weird gay foursome, we plan for our upcoming battle? Because we literally don’t even have a plan?” Shirou suggested. 

“I suppose.” Rin sighed. “Alright. We already know who our opponent is, therefore we know his weaknesses! I have an amazing idea—first we dress arturia in her work outfit—“ 

“Shhh!” Arturia shushed Rin. 

“What?” 

“Stop! Don’t talk about that!” 

“You mean you haven’t told him? Even though you’ve had sex?” Rin asked.

“Just stop, Rin!” Arturia demanded. 

Rin sighed. “Fine. Let’s dress Arturia in some wedding lingerie or something equally attractive.”

Are you suggesting we use Arturia as bait?!” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yes.” Rin answered. “If he sees his waifu in a skimpy outfit, he won’t be able to resist the urge to screw! Next, we catch him naked and vulnerable in an ambush—“ 

“No! We are not using my wife as bait!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Well, got any other ideas?” Rin crossed her arms. 

“Yes, I do, actually.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Enlighten us.” Rin huffed. 

“Faker magic.” Gilgamesh seemed peeved off by his own words.

“Pardon?” Rin said.

“I said faker magic! The mongrel! His stupid faker magic is going to be our best bet against my other self!” 

“Ohhhhh. I see. I guess Shirou’s magic would be pretty effective against the Gate of Babylon. They’re like natural opposites.” Rin said. 

“Precisely.” Gilgamesh said. “If that mongrel could use Archer’s noble phantasm, my other self would not stand a chance. Well, unless he used Ea, at least. However, if the other me is up against that mongrel, I doubt he would use his greatest treasure.”

“I don’t have the mana to create a reality marble!” Shirou said. 

“But if we could supply you with mana some other way…” Rin came to a sudden realization. “Goddamn it.” She said angrily. 

“What?” Shirou asked. 

“Nothing. Just come with me.” Rin grabbed Shirou’s hand and led her to her room. 

“Where are they going?” Arturia asked. 

“They are probably going to perform a mana transfer ritual.” Gilgamesh explained. 

“Wait, you mean—?!” 

“Yes, they are going to have sex.” Gilgamesh said. “I suggest we wait here. They won’t take too long, that mongrel is a virgin teenager.” 

Arturia sighed. “I hope Rin will be okay. It’s a shame her first time had to be under pressure.” 

Gilgamesh and Arturia sat down at the table. Ten minutes later, Rin and Shirou returned. Rin looked in obvious discomfort, while Shirou had a look of guilt on his face. Rin sat down next to her best friend. 

“How...how was it?” Arturia whispered. 

“Terrible. He was a total brute.” Rin said aloud, not caring that Shirou was across the table. “Honestly, I wish I could just have sex with you again, Arturia. The world is cruel.” 

“Well...you’re not in any pain right?” Arturia asked. 

“Just a bit of soreness. I don’t have a limp like you though, so there’s that.” Rin said. 

“That’s good. I’ll be fine, I just need to take some painkillers before the battle.” Arturia reassured. 

Rin sighed. “Well, it looks like we have a plan for tonight. Arturia and I will destroy the Holy Grail while Shirou and Caster fight that blondy bastard that dared to touch my sweet waifu. Since we’re probably going to die tonight, we should all get rid of our regrets.” She turned around and French kissed Arturia, shocking everyone sitting at the table. 

‘That’s…actually kinda hot.’ Shirou thought, watching Rin make out with Arturia. 

“Hey, what the hell are you doing to my wife?!” Gilgamesh leapt up from the table, grabbed Rin from behind, and tried to pry her off Arturia. 

Plenty of other crazy antics happened that evening, mostly involving Rin trying to screw her friend, until finally it was time to head to Ryuudou temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys! Next chapter will be the last chapter! Then there will be an epilogue afterwards. Classes are getting crazy, so sorry I’ve been gone for a while! But I swear I’ll finish this fic!


	14. Chapter 14

The three masters and one servant arrived at Ryuudou temple. They were ready to face anything. 

Arturia stopped Gilgamesh before they began to ascend the stairs to the temple entrance. She talked to him in a quiet voice so that her friends couldn’t hear. “Gilgamesh, I just wanted to tell you...I saw your immortality quest in my dream, and I didn’t realize you went through so much. Your friend Enkidu meant so much to you...and you looked so empty after you lost them. Well, I’m just glad that you find my company agreeable in a similar way. I’m glad that you’ve recovered and don’t feel lonely in the same way that you did back then. I’m glad that...my company is enough to make you happy.” Arturia then felt the weight on Gilgamesh’s hand on her head. 

“How could I ever be lonely when I am with you? You are the most interesting, beautiful, and caring woman I have ever met. It was only natural for me to fall in love with you.” Gilgamesh soothingly rubbed the top of Arturia’s head. “I apologize if I made you worry by showing you my foolish past actions. It was indeed the lowest point of my life, but I have managed to recover. I will admit, I was incredibly lucky to immediately meet the woman of my dreams in this holy grail war. Do not worry about me, my past is in the past.” 

“So you’ve fully recovered from all your trauma?” 

“Oh, absolutely not. I will be mentally scarred for the rest of my life. You are the same way. Your past left you with plenty of scars as well. Until a few days ago, you had a wish to redo all of history to fix your rule.” 

Arturia giggled lightly. “Well, I suppose you’re right. I guess we’re just both mentally fucked up, huh?” 

“Absolutely.” Gilgamesh nodded. “But even so, we are still a total power couple, like the kind in manga!” 

Arturia smiled. “Right. We’ve got to show that stupid other version of you that we’re strong enough to beat him.” 

“Can you two stop acting like a sappy couple and hurry up?!” Rin yelled. 

“Oh? Are you jealous mongrelette?” A smug smile spread over Gilgamesh’s face. 

“Yes! I am! I should be screwing Arturia! Now both of you hurry up! We’re going up the stairs!” Rin said. 

Arturia nodded and followed after Rin, who started running up the steps to the temple. Shirou and Gilgamesh followed their girlfriends. 

They were almost at the top before— 

“I’ve been waiting for you, my beautiful little bird.” 

Arturia’s eyes went wide and she dodged to her left as an attack swung at her that was meant to split her in two. 

“Assassin?! You’re still alive?!” Arturia said. 

“Of course. You promised me that we’d finish our duel. I’ve been waiting for you.” Assassin said. 

“Assassin, I don’t have time for this. I need to fight—“ 

“That horrible man? Of course, he must be beaten, I agree on that. But, beautiful bird, I am the one who is running out of time.” 

It was then that Arturia noticed Assassin was slightly transparent. 

“This is the selfish wish of a dying man. All I want at my end is a worthy opponent.” Assassin confessed. 

Arturia felt sympathy for the man. He would die no matter the outcome of their battle. Not to mention, it was unlikely that he’d still have enough mana to fight after the battle with Archer Gilgamesh ended. She looked to her friends for guidance. 

“Go ahead.” Gilgamesh said. “A promise is a promise. I know it would haunt your chivalrous mind if you did not battle him.” 

Arturia smiled. “Alright.” She turned to Rin. “Rin, I will meet you at the Holy Grail after my battle is over. Don’t worry, I’ll make this a quick one.” 

Assassin lowered his blade to smile. “The rest of you may pass. I have unfinished business with this little bird.” 

Rin, Gilgamesh, and Shirou ran through the temple gate, straight to where Archer Gilgamesh was. 

“Mongrelette, I thought you were going to the holy grail?” Caster Gilgamesh asked. 

“I will, but first I gotta see the asshole who made my waifu sad.” Rin said with determination. 

Archer Gilgamesh made himself easy enough to find, coming out after sensing his weaker, caster self. “Well, I suppose I should welcome myself. Were you thinking that these brats would be of use to you?” 

“They are of more use than you’d think.” Caster Gilgamesh replied. 

Archer Gilgamesh grimaced after noting the absence of his waifu. “Where is Arturia?” 

“She’s outside battling assassin.” Rin said. 

“Such a pity. It would be better for her to accept her fate sooner rather than later, and I thought watching you all be slaughtered would help.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Holy shit this guy’s terrible!” Rin exclaimed. 

“Yeah…” caster Gilgamesh moped. 

“I have to ask, did you actually try to rape Arturia? Because I’ll never forgive you if you did!” Rin said. 

“Are you asking if I offered to give her the highest pleasure on earth and the privilege to sleep with me? Because yes, I did. Regardless, I have been waiting too long for that woman. She will be mine no matter what she wants.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Oh my god, this guy really _does_ suck!” Rin said. 

“Yeah…” Caster Gilgamesh said, with slumped shoulders. He cleared his throat and attempted to recover. “Arturia will never be yours. I would let Uruk fall before I let Arturia be taken by another man against her will.” 

“Oh really? I will make sure she never forgets your loyalty when I violate her after I kill you.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Holy fuck, Caster, you’re a shit person!” Rin exclaimed. 

“I know…” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“Well, I doubt she will remember you after I have taken her to the point of loving me.” Archer Gilgamesh said smugly. 

“Holy shit—“ 

“Can you just go to the Holy Grail already?!!! That mongrel kid Shinji is being used as a vessel, go kill him or rescue him or whatever!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled at Rin, not wanting to hear more about how he was a terrible person. It was weird that no one could make him feel more self loathing than...himself. 

“Fine, fine.” Rin said splitting off from the group. 

“Is that Tokiomi’s daughter?” Archer Gilgamesh asked. 

Rin stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around to face Archer Gilgamesh. “How do you know my father?” She asked. 

“I served under him in the fourth Holy Grail War for a while. I hope you are not as boring a person as he was.” Archer Gilgamesh said with a bored expression.

“I thought your master was Kirei Kotomine?” Caster Gilgamesh asked. 

“He was, towards the later half of the war at least.” 

Rin’s fist clenched. “Did you kill my father?” 

“No. Kirei took care of that for me. Go give him a warm welcome at the Holy Grail. He is waiting with that joke of a lancer servant.” Archer Gilgamesh smirked. 

Rin, with newfound determination, began sprinting towards the Holy Grail. She turned back and called out. “I’ll never forgive you if you let my waifu fall into the hands of that pervert! You’re the guy she’s chosen so you better treat her right!” 

Caster Gilgamesh smirked. “Of course, and since I am the man she has chosen, you will never lay your hands on her again!” 

Rin stuck her tongue out at him and gave him a smile before running off. 

“Again?” Archer Gilgamesh asked. “She’ll never put her hands on Arturia ‘again?’” 

“It is a long, long story that I do not wish to talk about.” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“I don’t want to talk about it either.” Shirou said. 

“I want to talk about it.” Archer Gilgamesh was now incredibly curious.

“Bitch, did I ask?! Let us hurry up and fight this out like real men!” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“Did they sleep together?” Archer Gilgamesh asked. 

“Shut up!” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“They had sex as a mana transfer in an abandoned shack when we were fighting Bersekrer.” Shirou explained. 

“Mongrel!” 

“Let’s just get it over quickly so we can fight!” Shirou said. “At this rate, you’ll stall all day!” 

Caster Gilgamesh groaned. “Fine.” 

“Really? With a woman? Arturia is more experimental than I thought! I wonder what else she would be open to…” Archer Gilgamesh thought aloud. 

“Hey! Stop fantasizing about my wife!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled. 

“She was my wife first. She has been my wife since ten years ago.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“Ew! Wasn’t she like eight ten years ago?!” Shirou exclaimed. 

Archer Gilgamesh remained silent. 

“This one is a little slow.” Caster Gilgamesh explained. He turned to Shirou. “She was a servant, mongrel.” 

“OH! Oh right! She’s King Arthur!” Shirou said. 

Both Gilgameshs felt second hand embarrassment just from being in the general vicinity of Shirou at that moment. 

Rin ran up to the lake behind Ryuudou temple. There, she saw the massive lump of flesh in the lake. Kirei stood in front of it with a massive grin on his face. “Hello, Rin.” The lancer in blue body tights stood next to him. 

“Kirei you fucking father-killer!” Rin screamed. 

“Now, now, Rin, is that any way to greet your elders?” Kirei asked. 

“Fuck you!” 

“Haha, she’s actually quite a good woman, isn’t she?” Lancer said. 

“Shut up, Lancer, no one cares about your opinion.” Kirei said. 

Lancer huffed and crossed his arms. 

“Are you just going to let him treat you like that, Lancer?! Even though you’re a heroic spirit?!” Rin said. 

“You know what...you’re right. Not to mention, I have a few problems with the fact that you had a second servant behind my back.” Lancer said. 

“You’re worthless if you aren’t going to obey me like a good dog. By my command seal, I order you to kill yourself.” Kirei said, his arm glowing. 

Lancer was suddenly forced to impale himself with his own spear, then collapsed on the ground. 

“L-Lancer ga shinda!” Rin yelled. 

“Indeed.” Kirei said. “Now, Rin, it’s time to put you out of your misery once and for all—!” Suddenly, a spear impaled Kirei, then drove him into a tree. “L-Lancer!” 

“Sorry, but I wouldn’t be much of a heroic spirit if I got killed off by this immediately.” Lancer pulled his spear out of Kirei and let the lifeless body fall to the ground. He turned to Rin. “I didn’t know you long, but you’re a cute girl. I wish you luck.” He gave a salute, then died. 

“Wow, it’s almost like we needed them both gone for plot convenience purposes or something!” Rin said aloud then approached the Holy Grail. “Let’s see, do I wait here for Arturia, or should I risk my life to save Shinji?” Rin tapped her foot. “I should wait, but Shirou and Sakura would be depressed if Shinji died, so I might as well save him.” She sighed. 

The battle between Gilgameshs still hadn’t started. They were arguing about something entirely incomprehensible to Shirou. 

“You really want facts?! I will give you facts! No one likes you! You were one of the most hated characters in your game! But me, I am loved in my game! I didn’t even need a personality change in CCC to get popularity either! I am just beloved!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Oh shut up! I ranked 9th in the tenth anniversary popularity poll! You were not even in it!” Archer Gilgamesh defended himself. 

“Yeah, because I did not exist! If I had existed I probably would have ranked higher. You know what you get when you type in ‘Gilgamesh’ on pixiv and sort by popularity? A whole lotta me, that is what!” 

“Oh fuck off! I am the most powerful servant in this franchise! You are just the weakling version of me!” 

“The weaker and more lovable version of you! I am attractive, mature, suave, haughty, and always lovable! You are immature, hot-headed, genocidal, and arrogant. Face it, I am the husbando version of you!” 

“What the hell are you two talking about?!” Shirou screamed in confusion. This argument had gone on for at least ten minutes. Shirou didn’t even remember how it started, something about one of the Gilgameshs declaring themself superior. Anyway, it spiraled out of control and now both Gilgameshs were breaking the fourth wall with no regard for any of the other characters. 

“Shut up, mongrel!” Both Gilgameshs yelled in unison. Shirou wouldn’t be able to understand the conversation without clairvoyance, anyway. 

‘Jeez, it was hard to tell at first, but they really are the same person, aren’t they?’ Shirou thought. 

Arturia slashed at Assassin. Assassin dodged. ‘Damn...I need to end this so I can go help Rin, or else our plan will fall apart!’ Arturia thought. 

“I can tell that you have more than me on your mind, little bird.” Assassin said. 

“My boyfriend is supposed to be battling to the death with his other self and I haven’t heard any blasting sounds, so either he’s dead, or he’s stalling the fucking battle.” Arturia said, slashing once again. 

This time, Assassin met her sword head on with his katana, making the katana bend. Arturia’s eyes trailed over the bent katana with surprise. “I’m afraid, sweet bird, we don’t have the time to lack concentration.” 

“I apologize. You’re an opponent worthy of my full attention. But, as I am running out of time, I suggest we end this.” Arturia said, stepping onto level ground with Assassin. 

Assassin smiled. “I agree wholeheartedly.” He readied his sword for his final attack. “Tsubame Gaeshi.” 

Arturia used the slight opening left by Assassin's bent blade to slash through Assassin’s gut. 

Assassin coughed out blood. “I see...I’ve lost.” He said with a sad smile. 

“You were a good opponent. To stand on equal ground to King Arthur is no easy task. I commend your strength.” Arturia gave Assassin a final smile before running through the gate of Ryuudou temple. 

“I thought that girl was a beautiful little bird, but it seems she was more of a lion.” Assassin said wistfully, before disappearing. 

“You think you are so amazing, weakling? At least I am not trapped in an unrequited love for the only girl I have ever felt affection for. I, at least, have the balls to take what I want!” Archer Gilgamesh said to Caster Gilgamesh. 

Caster Gilgamesh blinked in surprise, slowly realizing that Archer Gilgamesh didn’t know what had happened between him and Arturia last night. His mouth shaped into a wide grin and he began to laugh maniacally. The laughter of the king echoed through the temple grounds. Finally, it began to die down. “Unrequited? My unrequited love? Tell that to the amazing sex we had last night!” 

“What?!” Archer Gilgamesh yelled. 

“There was nothing particularly special about that night, but this morning, after a few glasses of wine, we had sex again. She let me go four rounds and four different positions before she fell asleep. Sadly we were a bit too rough and she had to take some pain medicine before tonight’s battle, but ultimately it was worth it.” 

Archer Gilgamesh was clenching his teeth so hard that his molars would break if he wasn’t a servant. He finally sent five swords flying towards Caster Gilgamesh, all meant to skewer him in the groin. 

Caster Gilgamesh dodged and landed ten feet away with light steps. “What is wrong? Do not tell me I struck a nerve? Especially because it is all thanks to you that I got laid that night. If you had not aggravated Arturia so much with your words, we would have never had such a big fight, and have made up in such a tender way. Honestly, I should be thanking you—“ This time, twenty spears went flying at him, only for ten to be blocked by projected blades from Shirou and the rest to be dodged. Caster Gilgamesh landed near Shirou. 

“Projection magic? You think you can beat me with projection magic?!” Archer Gilgamesh was getting increasingly angry. 

“Caster, get the fuck away from me! You’re a walking landmine right now! Stop making him angry!” Shirou whispered. 

“Shut up. Just project his blades mongrel, as many as you can. I will take care of the rest.” Caster Gilgamesh said, then turned back to his other self. “Last night, I was incredibly gentle, considering the fact that we had a big battle today...but this morning, after the wine, gentleness really went out of the window. All four rounds were intense, passionate lovemaking!” He smiled at the memory. 

Then, swords and spears surrounded caster Gilgamesh and Shirou from all directions. 

“I literally cannot project all that, we’re fucked—!” Shirou started before being kicked out of the way by Caster Gilgamesh. 

“Shut up and do your best, mongrel!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled as the blades fired. 

Shirou managed to project at least twenty of the weapons he could see and deflect them, while Caster Gilgamesh dodged as many as he could. He managed to dodge every weapon but one, a spear that skewered him like a Gilgamesh kebab. 

“Gilgamesh!” Arturia yelled, arriving just in time to see her boyfriend get skewered. 

“Hi, Arturia.” Caster Gilgamesh said as he pulled the spear out of his gut and coughed up blood. 

“You’re hurt! Are you okay?!” Arturia asked. 

“This? It is a non-fatal wound for a servant. With my healing ability as a servant, it would take a fatal wound to the heart or the head to kill me.” 

“But...there’s so much blood!” 

“It is nigh impossible for a servant to die of blood loss since we need nothing other than mana to remain manifested.” 

“So you’re saying that even if I were to maim you until you were unrecognizable and completely drain you of blood, you wouldn’t die from exsanguination?” Arturia asked. 

“Hah?” Shirou and Archer Gilgamesh said at the same time. 

“Yes! That is absolutely correct! You could drain me dry and I would still remain alive!” Caster Gilgamesh replied excitedly. 

“Damn. If you have time to act like a perverted masochist, then you really are okay.” Arturia concluded. 

This time Archer Gilgamesh spoke up. “No fair! If Arturia should be exsanguinating anyone, it should be me!” He yelled. 

‘I guess this one’s an M too. That makes sense since they’re the same person I guess…’ Shirou thought. 

“N-not that I want to be exsanguinated by her or anything, baka!” Archer Gilgamesh followed with. 

‘...except he’s tsundere about it?!’ 

“Ha! The only person getting exsanguinated by Arturia is me. I am her boyfriend!” Caster Gilgamesh said with a grin. 

“You bastard!” Archer Gilgamesh yelled. 

‘I can’t tell who’s worse...the one who’s honest about his feelings or the one who’s in denial.’ Shirou thought. 

“No one’s exsanguinating anyone right now. You guys are supposed to be fighting, not arguing.” Arturia scolded the two Gilgameshs, who looked like kids being chastised by their mother. “Now, where’s Rin?” 

“The Mongrelette is at the Holy Grail trying to save that miserable excuse of blue seaweed.” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“She’s trying to save Shinji? Why?” Arturia asked. 

“Like hell if I know. I’d rather drink from that disgusting lake than waste my time saving that walking waste of oxygen. Although, you should go ask her yourself, as she is having trouble escaping.” 

“Rin?! Okay, I’ll go save her. Good luck on your battle here.” Arturia began running to where Rin was. She turned to shout once more at her boyfriend. “Don’t bother coming back if you lose! I don’t accept losers into my family!” 

“Worry not, Arturia. I will emerge victorious.” Caster Gilgamesh reassured his girlfriend, to which Arturia smiled back. 

“Arturia, I will come to claim you once I have laid waste to these pests.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia ignored Archer Gilgamesh and began to run to the Holy Grail. 

“God she is so hot when she’s ignoring me.” Archer Gilgamesh said. 

“I know right?” Caster Gilgamesh agreed. 

“Can you guys not talk about this right now?” Shirou asked. 

“Look at that ass. The things I would do to her in bed…” 

“The things I already _have_ done to her in bed…” 

“For fucks sake, guys!” 

Arturia finally reached the Holy Grail. She looked for Rin among the mass of flesh. “Rin! Are you there?!” She yelled. 

“I’m over here!” Rin yelled back. She was at the base of the flesh island, holding Shinji with her. 

“I’m coming, Rin!” Arturia said. 

“No! You have to conserve your mana! We need you for the final blast, don’t waste it on me!” Rin said. 

“No way, Rin! I’m coming to save you!” Arturia channeled mana into her body. It wouldn’t do much against this muck, but it would protect her a little. She waded through the mud to get to Rin. “Rin, are you okay?” Arturia said. 

“I’m fine, just exhausted. That guy is really guzzling my mana with whatever he’s doing over there.” Rin explained. She was panting and her eyelids were droopy. Arturia could tell she wasn’t in good shape. 

“Come on, Rin.” Arturia began to pick up Rin. 

“Are you going to carry both of us?!” Rin said. 

“There’s no other choice right now. Grab on to my back. I’ll carry Shinji with my arms.” 

Rin climbed onto Arturia’s back piggy-back style and held onto her neck. Arturia grabbed Shinji and carried him like a worthless sack of potatoes. She waded through the mud step by step. It seemed like the Holy Grail didn’t want to give up so easily, and a bunch of small hands reached out from the flesh mound to grab the girls. Arturia used her sword in her only free hand to slash at it. However, fighting while holding two people was no easy task. She needed to get to the shore quickly to put down Rin and Shinji so she could fight properly. 

The battle against Gilgameshs raged on. Shirou was using the swords from his reality marble to block Archer Gilgamesh’s attacks. The strategy was working well, and seemed to infuriate Archer Gilgamesh to an irrational degree, just as Caster Gilgamesh had expected. 

“Caster, why the fuck aren’t you helping?!” Shirou yelled, blocking another shooting sword. 

“I cannot!” Caster Gilgamesh replied. 

“Why?!” 

“Trust me, adding someone worthy into the fight would only make things harder!” Caster Gilgamesh kept a close eye on his counterpart. He couldn’t afford for Ea to be taken out, or else all really was lost. 

“You came to confront me and will not even fight?!” Archer Gilgamesh asked of himself. 

“ _Hmph!_ Why do work when I could just have a servant take care of it for me?” Caster Gilgamesh said. 

“The fuck did you just call me?!” Shirou asked. Caster Gilgamesh gave him a look to just go with it. 

“You think a mere servant could beat me? A simple human?! Damn you!” Archer Gilgamesh was even more blinded by rage than before. “Damn you! Damn you! Damn you! I will be sure to decorate the room I rape Arturia in with your decapitated heads!” 

“Holy fuck, that’s messed up!” Shirou said. 

“Can you seriously stop saying shit like that? You’re making me look bad.” Caster Gilgamesh told his other self. 

Shirou was closing in on Archer Gilgamesh. Archer Gilgamesh made a move to pull out Ea, but his arm was shot clean off by a beam from a wand from Caster Gilgamesh’s Gate of Babylon. “You!” Archer Gilgamesh gritted his teeth. He reached for Ea with his other hand. 

“Mongrel! Do not let him get to that sword!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Got it!” Shirou used a projected sword to slash at archer Gilgamesh’s hand. Shirou grabbed onto Archer Gilgamesh and held him still. “Caster, use your noble phantasm!” Shirou yelled. 

“You damned mongrel! Let go of me!” Archer Gilgamesh yelled, aiming a sword at Shirou who was clinging to his arm. 

“Killing two love rivals in one shot? That is called efficiency! Don’t mind if I do! Melammu Dingir!” Caster Gilgamesh yelled. 

Shirou let go of Archer Gilgamesh and leapt as far from him as he could. “Rho Aias!” Shirou aimed the shield at the sky. 

Noble phantasms rained down from the heavens, stabbing into the flesh of the strongest servant. Even he couldn’t survive a direct hit from a noble phantasm. 

The swords stopped firing and the sky cleared. Shirou let down his projected shield and sighed. 

Archer Gilgamesh was dying, on the verge of disappearing. “A happy end? How cliche.” Those were his last words before disappearing into golden dust. 

Caster Gilgamesh sighed in relief and approached Shirou. “Can you manage one last projection?” He asked. 

“Maybe if you drag me there. I’m kinda low on energy at the moment.” Shirou admitted, his face in the dirt. 

Gilgamesh considered dragging Shirou feet first so his face could drag in the dirt, but no...Shirou did good today. “Rejoice mongrel, for today only I will lend you my shoulder.” He helped Shirou stand and walked him in the direction of the Holy Grail. 

Arturia slashed at the flesh arms coming off of the Holy Grail. She’d successfully dumped Rin and Shinji onto the shore, and was now slicing each flesh arm that approached one by one. But it seemed this Grail had almost limitless energy. Multiple arms came at once, and one darted at Rin before Arturia was able to react. Then, it was blasted to dust by a wand. “Gilgamesh!” Arturia said, her mouth turning into a smile. Her boyfriend gave her a smile in return. 

“Mongrel, you have one last task before you can rest.” Gilgamesh said to Shirou. 

“Right.” Shirou focused all remaining mana he had left and projected Excalibur as closely as he could remember it. He handed the sword to Arturia. 

Arturia took the sword gratefully. “Gilgamesh, don’t let any of those arms approach me. A big blast takes a few seconds to charge. She looked down at the sword in her hands. ‘I missed you, old friend, even if you are just a replica.’ She closed her eyes. An immense wave of mana began to flow through the sword and wind whipped around her from the sheer burst of magical energy. Particles of golden light began to emanate from her surroundings as the sword charged with mana. Arturia opened her eyes, clearly taking in the size of her target. She stepped forward and raised the sword to the sky. 

“EX—CALIBUR!!!” Arturia swung the sword down and a massive beam of light shot out from her sword. For a moment, the entire world around them was bathed in golden light. Once the light faded, the tainted Holy Grail was gone. 

Gilgamesh watched Arturia’s figure as she destroyed the Grail. He thought he had never seen anything as beautiful as Arturia standing on that shore, with incandescent flecks of gold scintillating around her. 

Even Rin and Shirou were amazed that their friend was capable of something like that. “Amazing…” Rin said. “To think I banged someone that powerful…” 

The sword in Arturia’s hands had disappeared after it was used. At least for a moment, she was able to hold her kingship in her hands one last time. She thought of her past as king of Britain, of the round table and all the friends and enemies she’d made. She thought of Mordred and all of her mistakes. She thought of Merlin, Kay, and Ector—the people she’d considered family. ‘Goodbye everyone.’ She wished all of them farewell. ‘It’s time for me to move on.’ She looked up at the man she’d come to love over these past few weeks. Without the Holy Grail, he’d surely disappear soon. That is, if she didn’t act fast. 

“Gilgamesh,” Arturia faced the golden man, “I came to love you over these past few weeks, and in losing my wish, I’ve gained a new one. I want to live by your side and stay with you forever. So, please, will you form another contract with me?” 

Gilgamesh laughed a breathless laugh, because she should already know his answer. “Let me answer your question with a question.” He said. “Arturia Pendragon, will you marry me?” 

Arturia felt a tear drip down her cheek. She didn’t try to stop it this time, and let the tears of happiness fall freely. She could barely manage words with how choked up she was. “Yes.” She finally said and ran into his arms, embracing the man she’d agreed to take as her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...I cannot believe we’ve reached the end. Holy shit this has been a wild ride. It’s not over yet, we still have the hilarious epilogue, so my work isn’t over yet lol. Honestly, I feel a bit choked up reaching the ending. This has been really fun and it’s definitely the fic I’m most proud of making. I’m just really happy rn honestly. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you guys so much for sticking with this story! This story has gotten way more comments than MIS ever did, even with a smaller following. I’m glad the reception of this fic was good. I honestly didn’t know how well a fic like this would be received. I enjoyed the comedy but I didn’t know if anyone else would, and I’ve never personally seen a 100k crack fic before this. I’ve gotta say though that this has been fun. 
> 
> The epilogue will be out soon! We’ll finally see a character that played a pretty important role, but that we’ve never seen in person yet. And hilarity will ensue. See you then!


	15. Chapter 15

Arturia and Gilgamesh walked into the house together—their new home. 

“We’re home. I still can’t believe we’re alive.” Arturia said with a smile. 

“Me neither. I seriously thought I would die back there. I cannot believe my plan worked.” Gilgamesh said. 

There was silence, and within this silence, Arturia kept glancing at Gilgamesh expectantly. 

“Gilgamesh...do you not desire me anymore?” Arturia asked. 

“Hah?” Gilgamesh was so stunned by the question he couldn’t respond properly at first. “Where did that come from?!” 

“After we finally made it back home safe and sound, you were supposed to press me to the wall and kiss me, which would then lead to sexual intercourse. You didn’t do any of that.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh found it strange too. That did sound like something he should have done. “I have just become accustomed to curbing my sexual desires. I apologize, the habit will break soon.” He said. 

“Then...you still desire me?” 

“Of course I do! I just asked you to marry me!” Gilgamesh shook his head in disappointment. “I suppose I will just have to show you how much I desire you firsthand.” He grabbed Arturia’s hand and pulled her in the direction of the bedroom. Arturia smiled at her fiance. 

Arturia learned that morning just how nice Gilgamesh had been to her before the battle, because when he went all out, he really went all out. Of course, Arturia wasn’t complaining. 

After they rested for a day, it was time to go to school and start life anew. Arturia now had a future ahead of her in this world, and she had to decide what to do with it. She figured the best place to start would be to begin studying for college entrance exams, since she had no plans of going to the clocktower like Rin and becoming a mage. The best place to work out her future plans would be college. 

This meant that Arturia would have to start studying hard, since college entrance exams were only three months away. 

Arturia put her shoes on and opened the door. 

“Arturia, are you going to school?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Yep.” Arturia nodded her head. 

“Then I will dematerialize—“ 

“No. You’re staying home today and everyday from now on.” Arturia said. 

“What?! Why?!” 

“Because there’s no danger at school now. There’s no need for me to have a servant with me.” 

“But...but I will be so bored without you!” 

“Then entertain yourself. There’s plenty of manga to read here.” 

“But Arturia—!” 

“No buts. This is my decision. I can’t have you following me around all day like some lovesick puppy.” Arturia said with finality. “However, that doesn’t mean you won’t get a reward for being good.” 

“...I’m listening.” 

“I’ll do whatever you want right when I get home.” 

“So we can have daytime sex?!” 

“I figured that’s what you’d request.” Arturia sighed. “You really have a one-track mind.” 

“Then, can I request your outfit too?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Outfit? What do you want me to wear?” 

“Your school uniform.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve developed a uniform kink…” 

“That is not it! It was the outfit you summoned me in. I want to sleep with you in the first outfit I ever desired you in.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia blushed slightly. “Well...that’s fine, I suppose.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’ll get going.” Arturia exited the house. 

Gilgamesh was reading manga on the couch when Arturia got home from school. “I’m back.” Arturia called out, closing the door behind her. 

“Welcome back, Arturia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“How was your day?” Arturia asked. 

“Well I managed to get through two more series of manga. I am currently on the third. I am learning so much about this era and its culture on romance. How about you?” 

“Rin kept openly flirting with me at school and Shirou and I had to play damage control. Issei could barely believe that Shirou is dating Rin. Altogether, it was pretty fun.” Arturia said. She put her bag down near the couch. 

“So Arturia, I was thinking, now that we are going to get married, there’s the issue of children. Servants and humans cannot have children together.” Gilgamesh began. 

“Yeah, I know.” Arturia looked at Gilgamesh curiously. 

“I was thinking that we may have to look into other options than having children by conception.” 

“You mean adoption?” 

“Yes, but I could never adopt a human child because they would be a mongrel.” 

Arturia furrowed her brows. What kind of conversation was this? Where was Gilgamesh leading her with this? What could he possibly want? “Oh my god,” Arturia said, finally realizing it, “you want the fucking puppy, don’t you?” 

“PLEASE!” Gilgamesh put his hands together and asked. 

“No! We can’t get a puppy! Puppies are a lot of work, and since you’re so obstinate about never doing servant work, I’m going to be the one taking care of the damn thing.” 

“No! I will take care of her!” Gilgamesh said. 

“You will? You’ll feed her everyday, wash her every few weeks, potty train her, and clean up all her accidents?” Arturia asked, almost sarcastic. 

“Yes! I will! I will take proper care of the dog, you won’t have to move a muscle!” 

Arturia crossed her arms and deliberated. If Gilgamesh really was going to take care of the dog by himself, then there really wasn’t any reason for her to say no. He was an adult, after all. “Fine.” Gilgamesh wore a beaming smile at her words. “But you know that the dog you found at the pet store has probably already been adopted right?” 

“No. I have her right here.” Gilgamesh then pulled the puppy out of his Gate of Babylon. 

“WHAT?! Where did you get that thing?!” 

“Her name is Enkidu.” Gilgamesh said. “I got her this morning after you went to school. A week ago, I told the pet store owner to keep the dog for me and double her price every day. Thankfully, he did, and I was able to adopt Enkidu.” 

“You put her in your Gate of Babylon?!” 

“I had the idea while watching my other self put that piece of blue seaweed in his Gate. It is actually quite a good mode of transportation. I only put her in when you came home, since I did not want you to see her yet.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia slapped her face with her hand. She looked at the cheerful puppy in Gilgamesh’s lap, then to Gilgamesh’s expression of content and sighed. “We’ve been engaged for one day and you're already causing problems.” She lamented. “Fine, you can keep the dog.” 

Gilgamesh smiled and began to pet Enkidu excitedly. 

“So...considering your enthusiasm for this dog, I can assume that you’ve forgotten about today’s reward, right?” Arturia asked, stepping closer to her fiancé. 

“Hmph! Clearly you do not know me well enough, because if you did you would know that my memory is nigh impeccable.” Gilgamesh wrapped his arms around Arturia’s waist and pulled her closer. 

Arturia climbed over Gilgamesh and straddled his lap. She planted a soft kiss on his lips, and was pulled in further to initiate more passionate kissing. Arturia ground her hips against Gilgamesh, who soon developed an erection. Gilgamesh reached under her shirt and unhooked her bra, then began to massage her breasts. Arturia slipped her panties off underneath her skirt. Gilgamesh used his other hand to finger her, and began preparing her to take his length. Arturia rocked her hips against Gilgamesh’s fingers, beginning to moan slightly. Then—

_Ding-dong!_

Both Gilgamesh and Arturia halted at the noise.

_Ding-dong!_

Arturia looked to her fiancé, who seemed to just want to ignore the doorbell. 

_Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!_

“I will fucking kill them.” Gilgamesh said with a deadly glare. The doorbell kept ringing in the background. 

“No. I know who it is. Don’t come to the door until your erection goes down.” Arturia sighed. She slipped her panties back on and hooked her bra. She then went and opened the door. “Kay, why didn’t you tell me you were coming today?” 

“I wanted it to be a surprise!” Outside the door stood Arturia’s adoptive older brother Kay. He wore a troublemaking grin on his face. 

“I see, so this is your brother.” Gilgamesh walked up behind his soon-to-be wife. 

“Woah, looks like someone is happy to see me.” Kay said, looking at Gilgamesh’s erection through his pants. 

“Do not flatter yourself. This was from Arturia. We were about to have sex before you rudely interrupted.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Daytime sex? Wow, you’ve really come that far, huh?” Kay tapped his finger to his chin and studied Gilgamesh’s bulge. “I see, no less than seven inches. Basically the perfect size, Arty really got lucky.” 

Gilgamesh felt a shiver down his spine. “Did you just estimate my penis size based on the bulge in my pants?!” 

Kay wore a proud grin on his face. “It’s one of my many talents.” 

“Well, I don’t know the exact measurements, but he is a very good size. Basically perfect, like you said.” Arturia attested. 

“Arturia, do not tell him things about me! I do not want him to know!” Gilgamesh said. 

Kay snickered. “Anyway, I can see I interrupted something important. Don’t mind me, you can go ahead and finish in one of the bedrooms, if you want.” 

“But Kay, I can’t leave a guest all alone!” Arturia protested. 

“A guest? I lived in this house for my entire childhood, Arty. I know my way around. Go ahead and finish, I’ll make tea while I wait. Don’t mind me and enjoy yourselves.” 

“But—“ 

“Come on, Arturia.” Gilgamesh pulled Arturia by the hand into her bedroom, closing the door. 

In no less than ten seconds, ravenous, female moans came echoing through the house. 

Kay whistled. “Damn, she’s really a screamer. Well, I better go make tea.” He yawned, stretching his arm up as far as it could go. “Man, I’m so jetlagged.” He muttered as he walked to the kitchen, cracking his neck muscles on the way. He pulled out the kettle and began filling it with water, then put it over the stove on high heat. He put green tea leaves into the basket infuser and placed it in the water. ‘That’s the tea. I wonder if we have any snacks.’ 

Meanwhile, Arturia was bent over the bed, with her panties around her ankles, while Gilgamesh slammed into her from behind. “Do you have any idea how much I wanted to do this when you were stripping in front of me?” Gilgamesh said. 

“ _Ahn!_ K-Kay will hear us!” Arturia complained. 

“He said we could enjoy ourselves.” 

“Yes, but even he must have limits!” 

“The word ‘limit’ is not in that man's vocabulary. Think of this as revenge for all the tentacle hentai he subjected you to as children.” 

Arturia tried to sigh, but instead just moaned. 

‘Aw man, true to Arty, no snacks in sight.’ Kay thought in dismay. He opened the fridge. ‘Oh! What’s this? We have sake?!’ Kay was suddenly quite excited. ‘Don’t mind if I do.’ He began to pour himself a glass. 

A high pitched scream from the bedroom resounded just as the kettle began to whistle. ‘It looks like they’re right on time for tea.’ Kay took the kettle and three cups to the table. He brought the sake with him too for refills. 

Gilgamesh flipped Arturia over and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips. Sadly, Arturia pushed him away. “Kay is waiting for us.” She reminded her fiancé, still panting from their copulation. 

“He can wait a little longer.” Gilgamesh insisted. 

“No, Gilgamesh. We can fool around more later tonight.” Arturia pulled up her panties. 

“Fine.” Gilgamesh grumbled. 

Once the couple left the room, they were greeted with the aroma of green tea. Kay sat at the table, sipping his sake. “Did you enjoy yourselves?” He asked. 

“Thoroughly.” Gilgamesh said, taking his seat at the table opposite from Kay, next to where Arturia would sit. 

“Sure sounded like it. I have to say, Arty, I was wrong about you. I always thought you’d be a tuna girl.” Kay admitted. 

“Tuna girl?” Arturia took her seat at the table. 

Gilgamesh wrapped his hands protectively around his fiancée. “Arturia is no tuna girl!” He said. 

“What’s a tuna girl?” Arturia asked. 

“I have heard the name used derogatorily in manga. It refers to a woman who lies totally still and silent in bed during sex.” Gilgamesh explained. 

“Hey! I’m not a tuna girl!” Arturia said, insulted. 

“Apparently you’re the opposite. You scream like the girls in hentai!” Kay laughed. 

Arturia’s face flushed. “At...at least I don’t enjoy tying people up or being tied up!” 

“Hey, don’t knock it til you try it, Arty.” Kay said. 

“Yeah, do not knock it until you try it, Arturia.” Gilgamesh echoed, rather suspiciously. 

“Anyway, who’s sake is this? It’s great!” Kay said. 

“It’s mine. Merlin gifted it to me for my birthday.” Arturia said. 

“You should try some. It’s really good!” Kay held out the bottle. 

Arturia sighed. “I’m underage.” 

“That did not stop you when you were with your friends.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Oh shit! Arturia’s been engaging in underage drinking?!” Kay asked. 

Arturia flushed. “O-Only a little bit!” She huffed and took the bottle of sake, filling up a cup with the sweet liquid. She took a sip. The sake really was good. She’d have to properly thank Merlin for it later. 

“Wow. My little sister is all grown up now. She’s drinking, fighting, and even has a boyfriend!” Kay said. 

“Excuse me, I am her _fiancé_.” Gilgamesh said.

Kay spit out part of his drink. “Wait, you two are getting married already?!” 

“Yes, she finally agreed!” Gilgamesh said proudly. 

“Gilgamesh promised he’d become a normal man for me if we were to get married, since I’m becoming a normal woman and giving up my wish.” 

“Well, not _totally_ normal. I will not be a king, but I still get to be rich, right?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“No. Totally normal. You can keep the money you have in that plastic bag, but other than that, you are forbidden from using your Gate of Babylon to acquire wealth. You will earn money from normal, traditional means.” Arturia said. 

“What?! Wait, does that mean we will stay in this tiny house?!” 

“Yes. We can buy a bigger house once we’ve saved enough money for it, which will be years and years from now.” 

“But...but…” 

“You really didn’t think this through, did you? I told you that you should only propose to me if you’d accepted the terms of becoming a normal man.” 

“But that moment was so perfect! My proposal was so touching and dramatic! It fit so well in the story!” Gilgamesh insisted, to which Arturia sighed. 

“Story? You say that like this is some cheesy romcom or something.” Kay laughed. 

“Er, yes. This is real life.” Gilgamesh scratched the back of his neck. 

“Gilgamesh, if you want to be rich in this life with me, you’re going to have to earn the money.” Arturia said. 

“Earn it?! How?!” 

“By getting a job.” 

Gilgamesh seemed absolutely appalled at her words. He wasn’t even able to reply for an entire five seconds. “A JOB?!!” 

“Oh no, poor Richie McMoneybags will have to adapt to the life of the poor people, who work for their money.” Kay mocked. 

“How could I possibly work under someone?! I could never be in a lower position than a mongrel!” Gilgamesh said. 

“Well, then find a job where you’ll be your own boss.” Arturia said, sipping her sake. 

Gilgamesh crossed his arms and huffed. 

“Y’know, you two are kind of a cute couple. I’m glad you managed to work things out.” Kay said. 

Arturia smiled. “Thanks, Kay.” 

Suddenly, a deep coiling noise echoed around them. 

“Um…” Arturia looked embarrassed. Her stomach growled again. “I’m sorry.” 

“Ah, that’s Arty! You’re really just like how you were as a kid! Well, how about I go make dinner, then? I saw that we have ingredients.” Kay said. 

“You can’t cook dinner for us! You’re our guest!” Arturia said. 

“Nonsense. This is my house too. Anyway, I think I’ll die if I’m forced to choke down a meal made by you, Arty. I can’t imagine what poor Gilgamesh has had to go through, since I imagine he’s the one you’ve been cooking for.” 

Arturia flushed. “Gilgamesh likes eating my food, right Gilgamesh?!” Arturia turned to her future husband. 

“Er...I love eating with you…but if you are asking about taste…” Gilgamesh trailed off. 

Arturia sighed. “Alright, I get it. Fine, you can cook, Kay.” 

Kay went off to the kitchen, leaving Arturia and Gilgamesh to sit on the couch and wait. Thirty minutes later, Kay came out with steaming dishes of fish. “Alright, salt-grilled salmon coming up!” He said cheerily and put the dishes down. 

“Wow, it looks great!” Arturia said. She put her hand together. “Thank you for the meal!” She grabbed her chopsticks and began to eat. 

Gilgamesh tried some of the salmon. “It’s so salty.” He complained. 

“Well it _is_ salt-grilled salmon, after all. Were you expecting something spicy?” Kay said sarcastically. 

“But it is only salty, with little other flavor. I can see why Arturia said your cooking was never good.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Hey, I personally think salty things can be very delicious! Well, if you don’t like it, then you should make dinner next time. I’ll swallow whatever you give me, no matter how salty—“ 

Before Kay could finish his flirting, a knife impaled the wall right next to his ear. 

But this knife wasn’t some ornament Gilgamesh had thrown from his Gate of Babylon, after all he had no blades left after his time in Babylonia. No, this knife was a simple butter knife that had flown directly out of Arturia’s hand in a very calculated throw meant to barely miss her brother's head. 

“Kay, you’ve always been a precious brother to me. I loved you even when you were traumatizing me with tentacle hentai. But I swear, if you start an affair with my husband, I will chop all four of your limbs off and leave you alone hours away in a deserted forest, where you will either be torn apart by wolves or will die a slow death from thirst and starvation.” Arturia warned. Hell could not even match the amount of flames burning in the woman’s eyes. “And _you,_ ” Arturia turned to her fiancé, “after all the promises you’ve made me, if you ever cheat on me, I will make you eat shards of glass and swallow needles until you vomit blood, then I’ll continuously chop off your genitals as they regenerate while forcing you to watch me feed them to your new puppy, and only then will I grant you a death either by being burned alive or by exsanguination after having every inch of skin peeled off your flesh. And remember, since you regenerate, I might not even stop there. I could torment you endlessly until I get bored and decide to stop giving you mana.” 

Kay was speechless at his sister's words. ‘Oh shit, I didn’t think Arty would be _this_ crazy! I better warn the poor guy before he marries her!’ But when he turned to Gilgamesh, what he saw was the blonde man flushed all over, panting as if he’d just run a marathon. No way, that couldn’t have turned him on right?

“Arturia, let’s go to the bedroom right now!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

“Not now Gilgamesh. We’re at the dinner table, please show some self restraint.” Arturia said. 

Kay felt like he’d been punched in the gut by the fist of reality. ‘Actually, maybe they’re perfect for each other.’ He decided. So for them, threats of this level were just some weird type of foreplay? 

...Maybe there were some things that were just outside of Kay’s reach. 

“Kay will be sleeping in his room while he’s staying here, so I guess you’ll be sleeping in my room, Gilgamesh.” Arturia said. “You’ll probably have to sleep on the futon, since the bed would be cramped.” 

Kay shook his head in disbelief. “A couple forced to sleep on separate beds? How horrible!” 

“Well, what else are we supposed to do? I only have a twin bed and it’s too small for both of us.” Arturia said. 

“That’s obvious. You two are the masters of this house now, so you should sleep in the master bedroom. There’s a queen size mattress in there.” 

Arturia almost spit out her tea. “In dad’s bedroom?!” 

“Of course. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s using that room. Besides, they’ve been gone for seven years, Arty. It’s time we packed up their stuff and put it in the attic.” Kay said. 

Atrturia looked uncomfortable with the idea, but understood where her brother was coming from. 

“Alright! I know what our evening plans will be today! We’ll clear out the master bedroom for the newlywed couple!” Kay stood up and said proudly. 

Arturia sighed. 

They spent the next few hours after dinner packing old items into boxes and moving them to the attic. By the time they finished, the master bedroom of the house was completely cleared out. 

“This will be your new room, Arturia. It’s a fresh start.” Kay said. 

Arturia was glad that she’d be able to share a bed with her fiancé, but couldn’t help but feel a small pang of sadness at having finally moved her parents stuff out of their old bedroom. Gilgamesh seemed to notice this, and rested his hand on her shoulder to reassure her. 

That night, Arturia’s sleep was dreamless, but it was the deepest she’d slept in a very long time. 

Arturia had to go back to her old room to get ready in the morning, as she hadn’t moved all her toiletries and clothes into her new room. 

“Today, I’ll be starting again at my part time job after school. I probably won’t be home until nine.” Arturia told her fiancé. 

That day at school, Arturia felt something very irritating approaching school. During lunch, she went outside to confront it. “Gilgamesh, what are you doing here?” Arturia asked. 

Gilgamesh materialized out of golden dust in front of her eyes. “I got bored and wanted to come see you.” He said, as if it was entirely normal. 

“Gilgamesh, I told you that you’ll be staying home from now on!” 

“But I only got a reward yesterday! Now I have no reason to stay home.” 

“What about the puppy? Who’s watching her?” 

“Your mongrel brother is babysitting her for the time being.” 

Arturia slapped her face with her palm. “What do you want? Why are you here?” 

“I had a great idea while you were gone! You should give me a goodbye kiss every time you leave for school. I would be able to bear my boredom much better if I had encouragement like that!” Gilgamesh proclaimed his idea proudly. 

Arturia sighed. “If I start giving you goodbye kisses, will you stay home like you’re supposed to?” 

“Yes. I swear it on my name.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia nodded her head. She approached Gilgamesh, stood on her tippy toes, and began to plant a kiss on his lips. Gilgamesh rested his hand on her cheek and deepened the kiss. 

“Arturia…?” A voice came from around the corner from the wall they were standing near. 

If it had been Shirou or Rin who’d have followed her, this could’ve been explained away easily—but no. It had been Issei Ryuudou, the student council president, who’d found her kissing her fiancé on school grounds. There wasn’t a worse person who could’ve found them. 

“I-Issei!” Arturia pulled away from her fiancé. 

Issei tried to clear his throat and stay calm. “Arturia...who is this?” He asked. 

“This is my boyfriend. He came to school on his own like an idiot. I’m really sorry, Issei.” Arturia said. 

“This is a clear violation of school rules, Arturia. You know you aren’t supposed to bring outsiders onto campus grounds. Moreover, to commit an act of indecency on school grounds is even worse!” 

“Indecency? You mean the kiss? We were not even using tongue, this is probably a two on the indecency meter.” Gilgamesh said, raising his brow at the intruder. 

Issei seemed almost shocked that Gilgamesh would speak to him. He cleared his throat, clearly intimidated by the older looking man. “Well, I understand that you are a foreigner, but here in Japan, things like kisses are meant to be done behind closed doors.” 

“He’s right, Gilgamesh. Like I told you before, Japan is a very hands-off country.” Arturia said. 

“Arturia...I must say, I am very disappointed to find you in such a state on school grounds. To see a diligent, calm, and dignified woman like you engage in lowly acts is...disillusioning. My expectations of you were greater than this.” Issei said, he spoke in an even tone, but there was genuine disappointment behind his words. 

“Hoh? Disillusioning? I think I understand.” Gilgamesh had a slightly wicked smile on his face. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?” 

Issei’s face turned entirely red. “E-Excuse me?!” 

“Gilgamesh?!” Arturia turned to her fiancé in shock. 

“You probably thought that Arturia was a woman that is very similar in nature to you. Indeed, that must have seemed quite attractive. Probably the opposite of how women in the modern era act. In comparison to the other women I have seen in this era, Arturia can seem quite traditional to your standards, correct? Therefore, you developed what modern humans call a ‘crush’ on Arturia. Now, seeing her engage in an act very typical of women of this age, like kissing a partner, she has failed to meet your expectations of what you thought was proper about her. I suppose that would be slightly disappointing, if what you loved about Arturia was her noble nature. How disgusting. She is a human, not a doll. She does not need to meet anyone’s expectations to be proper. Saying that she’s betrayed her ways when you barely know anything about her is presumptuous. It reminds me of how I may have thought as a teen. This era and its men are so disappointing.” Gilgamesh said, shaking his head. 

Apparently, what Gilgamesh had said hit a bit close to the mark, because Issei ran off in the other direction. 

“What the hell was that?!” Arturia yelled at her fiance. 

“What? I merely said the truth.” Gilgamesh said. 

“There are some things that don’t need to be said so bluntly! He’s probably going to go commit seppuku because of the verbal beating you just gave him!” Arturia ran off to find Issei. 

Arturia found Issei at the opposite end of the school, sitting solemnly. “Issei? You haven’t disemboweled yourself right?” Arturia asked. 

“I haven’t, don’t worry about that. There’s nothing sharp enough on campus to commit seppuku with.” Issei said. 

Thank goodness for that. Arturia let out a breath of relief. “I’m sorry for what he said. My boyfriend can be a real jerk sometimes.” 

“No, I think he may have been right.” Issei admitted. 

“Eh?!” 

“I’ll admit, I admired your ways a lot, Arturia. The way you carried yourself was almost royal. You always maintained dignity and propriety in every situation. But he’s right about one thing—I don’t know nearly enough about you to pass judgement on you. I apologize for that.” 

“So then...what he said about feelings…” 

“They aren’t entirely untrue. I’ve thought about asking you out before, I’ll admit that. You’re a beautiful girl, and you have a pure nature. But I’m the inheritor of the temple, and considering the way this country treats foreigners…it wouldn’t be smiled upon for me to form a relationship with you.” 

“I see...I’m sorry I never noticed. My boyfriend has recently informed me that I may be the oblivious type.” After all, Arturia didn’t even notice Rin’s sexual attraction to her until they were literally having sex. 

“No, there’s no way you could’ve known. I never told anyone about it, after all.” Issei said. “I apologize for what I said.” 

“It’s fine. And you were right to reprimand us for bringing him to school grounds. He certainly shouldn’t be here.” 

“Why did he come, anyway?” 

“He...wanted a goodbye kiss.” Arturia flushed. “He’s like a new puppy that has separation anxiety. That’s the only way I can explain this. He came because he didn’t like being at home without me.” 

“So that’s what your type in men is like...he’s a lot flashier than I imagined.” 

“He isn’t my type at all!” Arturia said. 

Issei looked at her with a confused expression. 

“My type is kind men who aren’t flashy that enjoy helping others and know how to cook—“ 

“You mean Shirou?” 

“I never said Shirou!” Arturia cleared her throat. “Anyway, in all those regards, he isn’t my type at all. I fell in love with him for different reasons. In any case, he’s far from the ideal man. Don’t bother comparing yourself to him. He’s had all sorts of privileges that we couldn’t even dream of.” 

“I see. But you love him, right?” 

Arturia’s face flushed. “Yes, I love him.” 

“Then I should wish you good luck on your relationship.” 

Arturia smiled. “Thanks, Issei.” She turned back to where she came from. “I’m going to go give Gilgamesh a thorough reprimand. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come back again.” She walked off to wherever her fiancé was. 

Issei was left alone to think about the conversations he’d just had. He waited by himself for about ten minutes, counting blades of grass. When he looked back up, he was shocked to find the tall, blonde man standing in front of him a few meters away. “Y-you!” 

“If you are going to tell me to leave, there is no need to bother. Arturia scolded me enough, I merely came here to give some parting words.” Gilgamesh said. 

‘Parting words?’ Issei examined the man. He was dressed in flashy clothing that was probably more expensive than it needed to be. He looked like some foreign model or something. This guy deserved to be in a fashion magazine. Looking at him now, there was no way Issei could compete with a guy like this. “What?” 

Gilgamesh looked like he was searching for the right words to say. “I never thought I would find true love.” He started off. “Meeting Arturia was a miracle that I’m positive will never happen again. I never imagined I would find a woman worthy enough to become my partner, but lo and behold, Arturia had existed all along. So...I suppose I am trying to say...do not give up. Even if a relationship with Arturia did not work out, you will find someone eventually. Ah, but next time you find someone agreeable, do not wait to confess. Jump at the opportunity as soon as it presents itself.” 

Issei blinked. This foreign model guy had come here to give him advice and words of encouragement? “But what good will it be to keep my hopes up? Arturia was a good woman, but a love with her was forbidden from the start. It’ll probably just be like that again.” 

Issei’s words seemed to make Gilgamesh incredibly mad. “When does a man give up?!” 

“Huh?” 

“I asked you a question, mongrel! When does a man give up?! Is it when he is rejected? Is it when he draws his last breaths?!” 

“I don’t know…” 

“Wrong! It is a trick question! A man never gives up. That is the nature of humans, to get up every time they fall! The moment a human gives up, they might as well be dead. So, answer me mongrel, when does a man give up?” 

Issei was astounded. This man had an incredible charisma, similar to Arturia’s—no, greater than Arturia’s. It was a charisma that could lead nations. “If it’s a trick question…then, they don’t give up.” He answered. 

“Precisely.” Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “Well, that is just a bit of advice bestowed upon you by your ki—no...not anymore, huh? Bestowed upon you by this random old man. You are young, do not waste your youth with apprehension and indecision. That is all I had to say.” Gilgamesh turned and began to walk off, but then stopped. “One more thing, suicide is not a valid way of bringing honor back to your name. Honor should be earned through work, suicide is a far too easy method to bring back honor. Arturia needs to learn this too.” 

With that, Gilgamesh left the school. 

Gilgamesh arrived at home to be greeted by his new companion Enkidu at the door. 

“She was waiting for you.” Kay said, sitting on the couch munching on chips. 

“Ah, I apologize then, Enkidu. Did you miss me?” Gilgamesh pet his puppy on the head, then gave her a belly rub. “Did she have any accidents while I was gone?” He asked Kay. 

“Nope. She was a perfect angel.” 

At that exact moment, Enkidu took a shit on the carpet. 

“You’re home, so it ain’t my responsibility.” Kay said, turning back to the television. 

Gilgamesh sighed. Enkidu wasn’t making this easy for him. He went to the kitchen and brought poop bags, paper towels, and spray disinfectant. He began to clean. ‘To think a king is forced to do something like this.’ He thought. ‘Well, I suppose I am not a king anymore. Even so, this is rather annoying.’ 

“Hey, do you have plans for this evening?” Kay asked Gilgamesh. 

“No. Why? What are you planning?” Gilgamesh was somewhat suspicious. 

“I want to take you to a nearby cafe in Miyama.” Kay said. 

A cafe? Was it really something so tame? “What is the catch?” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Well, let’s just say there’s a surprise waiting for us over there.” Kay said, snickering. 

Gilgamesh was still suspicious, but it’s not like he had anything more interesting to do this evening, so he decided to bite the bullet and go. 

It was five PM when Kay and Gilgamesh made the journey to Miyama via bus. It took a bit of navigating, but they finally arrived at the cafe. 

“Cafe NekoNekoLove? What type of place did you bring me to?” Gilgamesh asked, reading the name on the sign. 

“A place full of dreams and wonders.” Kay said with a wicked grin. 

The two men entered the store. What Gilgamesh saw inside stunned him. The cafe was decorated in a fancy western style, resembling a mansion. The waitresses were dressed as traditional French maids...except with cat ears and tails. A little bell rang near the door when they entered. 

“Nya~! Welcome back Master!” A cute woman in a pink wig said. “Nya, it seems we have foreignyas today. In that case, I’ll get someone who speaks English!” The girl turned to the other waitresses. “Arturinya! We have foreignyas today!” 

A girl in a blonde ponytail turned around with a wide smile. “Nya~! Welcome back, masters—!” The girl entirely froze when she saw Kay and Gilgamesh. Her smile fell and her wide green eyes were filled with disbelief. 

It was then that Kay burst into hysterical laughter. Even Gilgamesh couldn’t help but laugh at seeing his future wife in a nekomaid outfit. 

“Arturinya, what’s wrong?” The pink haired waitress asked. 

Arturia’s eyes filled with tears of anger and embarrassment. “I told you about this job in confidence!!!” She ran and side kicked Kay so hard that he flew into a wall. “Kay Nii-san no baka!!!” Arturia began to kick the ever loving shit out of her brother. She let out a cry of humiliation at having her secret revealed. “How could you?! I told you that this job was a secret, and you brought my fiancé here?!” Arturia yelled, puncturing Kay’s lung with her kitten heels. 

A hush fell over the store. “Arturinya has a fiancé?!” One of the customers gasped in shock. 

“Arturnya, don’t you think that’s enough?!” The pink haired waitress tried to be damage control. 

Thinking about it, it made sense why the waitresses' relationships would be secretive. Gilgamesh figured that the business model of a restaurant like this must center on the male fantasy of being served by beautiful, single women...that just so happened to be wearing nekomaid outfits. ‘To think Arturia was working in a place like this…’ Gilgamesh thought. Well, Arturia did say that she made money waiting tables...she just never mentioned that she did it as a nekomaid. 

“And _you!_ ” Arturia turned to her fiancé with flames in her eyes. “You laughed at me!” 

Gilgamesh had never felt more fear for his life than at this moment...not even when he was facing off against Tiamat. He cleared his throat and tried to gather himself. “Fine, I will accept whatever horrendous physical punishment you bestow upon me!” 

“Oh really?” Arturia said, approaching Gilgamesh. “Fine. No sex for a week.” 

“Arturinya has sex?!” One of the customers gasped. 

“Hah?” Arturia’s words sunk in for Gilgamesh. “HAH?! Wait what?! Are you not just going to hit me like you did with your brother?!” 

“If I hit you, you’d just get turned on. This is how I can punish you without you enjoying it.” Arturia said. 

“Wait, Arturia! Anything but this! I require at least some form of sex to stay sane!” 

“Fine. I’ll allow you to pleasure me if you grovel on the floor properly like the filthy pig you are.” Arturia said with hatred. 

Gilgamesh felt like he’d just been punched in the gut. That was probably the sexiest thing Arturia had ever said to him. 

“Arturia, please stop.” The pink haired waitress had finally dropped her act. 

“Wait!” One of the customers fell to his knees on the floor. “I want Arturinya to beat me too!” He said with a bowed head in a traditional Japanese pose. 

“Me too!” Another customer dropped to the floor as well. 

Soon, most of the customers were on the floor, ready to be beat by Arturia. 

‘What kind of situation is this?’ Arturia wondered. She then heard a pained groan behind her. “I think my idiot brother needs medical assistance.” Arturia picked up her brother from the ground and swung him over her shoulder. Kay cried out in pain at her rough treatment after the beating he just received. “Come on Gilgamesh.” Arturia said and began to leave the store. 

Gilgamesh got up and followed his fiancée out the door. 

After the trip back home, Arturia threw her brother onto the couch. Kay let out a cry of pain. “Have some mercy, Arty!” 

“I have no mercy for the likes of you.” Arturia said. 

“Honestly though, it’s been forever since you called me Kay Nii-san. I can’t believe I got to hear you say it again.” Kay laughed painfully. 

Arturia blushed. “Shut up. I have to heal your injuries.” 

It took a solid hour to finish treating Kay with healing magic. 

“Healing magic takes a lot out of the patient, so you won’t be able to move well for a while.” Arturia said. 

“I know, I know.” Kay yawned. He planned on just taking a nap on the couch. 

“I’m going to go to my room for a while. I need some time alone.” Arturia stood up and left to her room. 

Arturia sat alone on the bed for about five minutes, coming down from the excitement from earlier. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Come in.” She said. 

Gilgamesh entered the room and closed the door behind him. He sat down next to his future wife. “Is something wrong, Arturia?” He asked. 

“I probably just lost my job that pays me one thousand and six hundred yen per hour just to exist in a nekomaid outfit as a foreigner.” Arturia sighed. 

“Is there no other maid cafes in Fuyuki?” 

“That’s the only one I know of.” Arturia said. “Gilgamesh, why did you come here?” 

“I came to comfort you.” Gilgamesh said. 

“That’s a lie.” Arturia determined. “You’re trying to seduce me while I’m still in this outfit.” 

Gilgamesh looked a little stunned at having it pointed out, but didn’t deny it. 

Then, Arturia wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s okay. I’d like to forget my problems for a while anyway, so I’ll let you lie to me for just today.” Arturia said, leaning in closer to him. 

Gilgamesh’s surprised face soon turned to a grin. “You really are an adult now, aren’t you?” He pushed her down and hovered over her, pressing his lips onto hers. He lifted up her skirt to feel her smooth legs. 

Kay was just about to drift off to sleep when the loud, female moaning started. ‘Ah shit. I shoulda known he was just trying to get lucky when he said he was gonna comfort her.’ He sighed. 

Arturia was especially loud today. What in god's name were they doing in there? 

‘Dammit. I won’t be able to sleep like this!’ Kay thought. 

Suddenly, the loud “aahs” in the air turned into “nyaas.” 

‘They’re really starting to get freaky with that outfit, huh?’ Kay tried to push the thought out of his mind. 

Anyway, he could barely move, and his sister's moaning was echoing throughout the whole house. ‘This is an emergency. Desperate times call for desperate measures.’ Kay mustered all of his strength to take his cellphone out of his pocket. He dialed the number he’d had on speed dial for years. “Hello? Pizza Hut, Fuyuki? I’d like to place an emergency delivery.” 

It was about an hour later that Arturia and Gilgamesh finally finished. Arturia had taken the liberty of changing out of her now soiled nekomaid outfit into some pajamas. When she came to the living room, she found her brother face down on the floor next to the door. 

“Help. There’s pizza outside and it’s getting cold.” Kay said. 

Arturia opened the door and picked up the box of pizza on the front door. It was still warm. “You ordered this for us?” 

“No! Do you know how insanely expensive pizza is in Japan?! I ordered that for me! Drug money ain’t that good!” Kay said. 

Arturia looked down at the box of pizza in her arms. “Hey Gilgamesh, do you want to share this pizza with me?” She asked. 

“I will eat some if you feed it to me.” Gilgamesh answered. 

Arturia nodded and began to walk away. 

“Hey wait! That’s my pizza!” Kay called out. 

“Oh, right.” Arturia took out a slice and threw it on the ground next to her brother's face. “It’s only polite to share.” She took the rest of the box to the table. Gilgamesh followed and sat down next to her. Arturia began to eat a slice of pizza, the warm food felt nice after a long day. “I heard about what you did at school after I scolded you.” Arturia told her fiancé. 

“What did I do?” Gilgamesh asked, not remembering. 

“You went and gave advice to Issei, right?” 

“Issei? Ah, that mongrel. Yes, I offered him some words of encouragement.” 

“Well apparently, you have a new admirer. According to Shirou, Issei now wants to learn the art of being a man from you.” 

“Of being a man?” Gilgamesh began to laugh. “What an amusing kid.” 

Arturia smiled. “Well, go easy on them. They’re just children. They haven’t lived and died like we have.” She said. 

“I’m well aware of that. But that is all the more reason for me to scold him. He needs to learn from a wise old man not to make the same mistakes as his predecessors.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Well, it ended up being a good thing that you gave him advice, because he decided to overlook the fact that you snuck onto campus grounds without permission.” 

“That is rather convenient.” 

“Yep. Honestly, for you to find a follower in the modern era—what on earth am I going to do with you?” Arturia said this, but Gilgamesh could tell by her expression that she was proud. 

Suddenly, the phone rang. 

Arturia went to the living room and answered the home telephone. She spoke on the phone for a few minutes before hanging up. 

“Rin and Shirou are inviting us to dinner at their house tomorrow.” Arturia explained to Gilgamesh. 

The next evening, Arturia, Gilgamesh, and Kay left for Shirou's house for dinner. Rin was going to be there as well. 

Arturia knocked on the door. 

It was Rin who answered. “Arturia! I knew you’d come back for this pussy one last time!” She yelled. 

Arturia smiled awkwardly while Gilgamesh wrapped his hands around his future wife protectively. 

“So you two finally banged?” Kay asked. 

“Yep.” Rin bragged. 

“What do you mean ‘finally?’ It was totally random!” Arturia said. 

“That’s a joke right? The sexual tension between you two was obvious.” Kay said. 

“I hate to say it, but it is true.” Gilgamesh agreed. 

Arturia sighed. 

Everyone gathered at the table while Shirou brought out the food. Arturia happily ate the food placed in front of her, taking in at least three portions of food by the half hour mark. 

“Arturia, I heard what happened at your part time job from your manager.” Rin said. 

Arturia dropped her chopsticks. “Yeah...but everything worked out in the end. The manager smelled a new business opportunity. Now part of my job is stepping on certain customers.” 

“Wow.” Rin said with a smile. “I’ll be sure to visit again to see you at work.” 

“I don’t get it, where does Arturia work?” Shirou asked. 

“Don’t worry about it, Shirou.” Rin said, patting Shirou on the head. 

“Y’all got any alcohol?” Kay asked. 

“Erm...I don’t think that’s a good idea. Last time we introduced those two to alcohol...let’s just say the house got very loud.” Shirou said. 

Kay snickered. “Yeah, I get what you mean. Arty really screams, huh?” 

“She really does.” Rin agreed. “I find it cute though.” 

Arturia flushed red. 

Suddenly, the door burst open. “Hahahaha! Is that dinner I smell?” 

Shirou looked shocked. “Fuji-nee, i thought you weren’t going to be here until nine!” 

Taiga entered the room with a grin on her face. “Hehe, we ended club activities early today.” 

“Oh no, Tiger is here!” Kay said. 

“WHO CALLED ME TIGER?!” Taiga screamed before realizing who it was. “Eh, Kay?! Is that you?” 

“It’s been a while, Fuji-sensei.” Kay greeted. 

“Ah, my old student! You’ve been traveling right? How is that going?” 

“It’s going great.” Kay said. 

“And—!” Taiga turned towards Gilgamesh, looking nervous. “Who’s this? A cousin of yours, Arturia?” 

Arturia looked awkward. “He’s my boyfriend.” She explained. 

“And her future husband!” Gilgamesh added. 

Taiga blinked. “FUTURE HUSBAND?!!?!” The tiger roared. “You’re way too young to be making decisions like that!” 

Arturia scratched the back of her neck. 

“They got engaged after only two weeks, too.” Rin fanned the flames. 

The tiger roared again. “TWO WEEKS?!!” 

“Fujimura-sensei, it may seem like an irresponsible decision, but I promise I know what I’m doing.” Arturia tried to reassure her teacher. 

“TWO WEEKS?!!!?” Taiga roared. “I can’t possibly approve of this! Not as your teacher or as a family friend!” 

“Fuji-sensei, he already has my blessing.” Kay said. 

“Then you’re just as stupid and irresponsible!!!” Taiga said. “Two weeks is way too short!” 

“We plan on having a long engagement, Fujimura-sensei.” Arturia said. “You don’t have to worry about us getting married anytime soon.” 

Taiga stomped to the other side of the table and leaned over Gilgamesh. “I need to make sure I approve of this man.” She said. “How old are you?” She asked Gilgamesh. 

“Twenty.” Gilgamesh replied. 

“How much money do you have?” 

“Five million yen in savings.” Gilgamesh only had what was left in that plastic bag, so he wasn’t nearly as rich as he used to be. 

“F-five million yen?!” Taiga looked stunned. “Th-then what’s the nicest gift you’ve given arturia?” 

“An alarm clock. But that is only because she did not appreciate the diamond ring I picked out for her.” 

“D-D-DIAMOND RING?!” Taiga yelled. 

“I appreciate it now that we’re actually engaged.” Arturia said. 

“You still never wear it.” Gilgamesh said. 

“That’s because you only wear fancy engagement rings to special occasions in Japan. I’ll wear our wedding rings everyday once we get them.” Arturia said. 

Taiga looked as if she didn’t know what to say next. “Then...what do you like most about Arturia?” 

“Her fiery spirit. To me, she is like the sun, bright and blazing. She is truly a force to be reckoned with.” Gilgamesh said proudly. 

That was too good of an answer. If he’d said something like ‘her body,’ Taiga would have been able to condemn the relationship. “Then...what do you want in a future with Arturia?” 

“I wish for us to be happily married with our new child Enkidu.” Gilgamesh said. 

“To clarify, Enkidu is our new puppy.” Arturia said. 

“She is our BABY.” Gilgamesh huffed. 

“H-happily married…?” Taiga looked like a lost child. She was still looking for reasons to condemn the marriage. 

“Could it be, Fuji-sensei, that you’re simply jealous that Arturia found true love before you?” Kay asked. 

“N-NO! It isn’t that! I’m just worried about my student!” Taiga denied. 

“Then trust us when we say Gilgamesh is a good guy. He’s already proven himself, and he even has my blessing as Arty’s big brother.” Kay said, sipping his tea. 

Taiga made a weak sound of defeat. She nodded her head slowly. 

“It’s getting late. Do you guys want to sleep here tonight?” Shirou asked. 

“That would be great! Will you be treating us to breakfast too?” Kay asked.

“Of course. Although, I hope you don’t mind that it will be my cooking tomorrow.” Rin said. 

“As long as it’s not Arty’s cooking, it’s fine!” Kay grinned. Arturia shot him a glare. 

“Then we have some spare bedrooms in the Japanese wing of the house. Let’s see, you need two bedrooms right?” Shirou said, standing up. 

“W-w-w-wait Shirou! They only need two bedrooms because Arturia and Kay will be sharing one, right?” Taiga asked. 

“Of course not, Fuji-sensei. Arturia is going to share a bedroom with her fiancé.” Kay said. 

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NOT UNDER THIS ROOF!” Taiga roared. 

“Fujimura-senses, we weren’t planning on doing anything indecent tonight.” Arturia said. 

“Just tonight??? As in you’ve done it before??? And will do it again??” Taiga said with a teary expression. 

Arturia blushed, suddenly becoming awkward. “Well, we’re engaged, so...of course.” 

Taiga looked as if she was about to cry. “NO! STILL NO! NOT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! As the adult, I demand someone be with them to supervise!!” 

“If you need someone to supervise, I can do it.” Kay said. 

“Yes! Perfect! They can’t possibly get it on with her brother in the room!” Taiga cheered. 

“I object.” Gilgamesh said. “I do not want to sleep anywhere near that man.” He pointed to Kay. 

“Why?” Shirou asked. 

“He makes me uncomfortable.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Aw, Gilgamesh is so shy~ I didn’t realize you liked me so much~” Kay said. 

Gilgamesh cringed. 

“Please just bear it for the night, Gilgamesh. Otherwise, you’ll have to sleep in a separate room.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh huffed, but gave in. 

Everyone went to their separate rooms together. Taiga reluctantly allowed Arturia to share a futon with her fiancé. 

“Well goodnight Arty.” Kay said, switching off the lights and lying down. 

“Goodnight Kay.” Arturia replied. 

It was twenty minutes later that Gilgamesh started getting frisky with Arturia. 

“Gilgamesh, what are you doing?” Arturia whispered. 

“I just want to have a little fun before bed.” Gilgamesh whispered back. 

“Kay is asleep right over there!” 

“He is sound asleep. He will not bother us.” 

“It’s not about that! I don’t want him to wake up and find us!” 

“Come on, please? Just a little fun before bed?” 

Arturia grimaced. “Fine. But be quiet.” 

“Then I shall issue you the same warning. Keep your voice down, you wouldn’t want to wake your brother right?” Gilgamesh began to play with Arturia’s clitoris, making her clamp her hand over her mouth in surprise. 

Gilgamesh continued to play with her lower parts with his right hand, and began groping her breasts with his left. After a few minutes, Arturia really started to feel it. She was having a hard time keeping her voice down. She kept her hand covered over her mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle her moans. 

“You are even more receptive today then usual. Could it be that doing it in front of someone has gotten you excited? How perverted~” Gilgamesh asked. 

“N-no! I’m not a pervert—nngh!!” Arturia tried to refute the claim, but needed to keep her hand over her mouth to muffle her moans. 

Arturia came with tears in her eyes, screaming into her hand. 

“Are you two done yet?” A bored voice asked next to them. 

Arturia went dead still. 

“If...if you were awake, why didn’t you stop us?!” Arturia whisper screamed, absolutely mortified. 

“And ruin your exhibitionist play? What kind of cruel man do you take me for?” Kay said. He got up and grabbed his futon. “I’m gonna go sleep in the closet so you two can finish. Just remember that these walls are made of paper.” 

The next morning, Taiga bolted down the hallway and threw open the guest bedroom door where Arturia and Gilgamesh were sleeping. “Yosh! I caught you—!” But to Taiga’s amazement, it was completely empty save for a sleepy looking Kay. 

“Fuji-sensei? You need something?” Kay yawned. 

“But...but…” 

“Fujimura-sensei, could you be looking for us?” Arturia asked, walking up to her from the hallway. 

“Where’s the futon! I want to see the evidence!” Taiga demanded.

“Our futon is currently being washed in the washing machine, Fujimura-sensei.” Arturia replied politely. 

“How did you know I would come here so early?! My plan was flawless!” Taiga said. 

“What do you mean, Fujimura-sensei? This is around the time I always wake up.” Arturia said. 

“O-oh…” Taiga looked disappointed. “Nevermind then…” 

Arturia smiled at her teacher. Thank god her clairvoyant fiancé woke her up at the asscrack of dawn telling her that her teacher was going to check on them first thing in the morning. 

The two women sat down at the table, waiting for Shirou to wake up for breakfast. Shirou finally came about ten minutes later from the shed. 

“Shirou, I left some ingredients in the fridge.” Taiga told him. 

“Alright.” Shirou went to the fridge to check. 

Rin emerged from her bedroom in the western wing of the house with a grimace on her face. “Goodmorning.” She muttered and sat down next to arturia. Her head then dropped onto the table. 

Gilgamesh began laughing at her. “So the Mongrelette isn’t as perfect as she thought!” 

“Shut up, sex freak.” Rin said. 

“There, there, Rin.” Arturia began soothingly rubbing Rin’s head. 

Rin began to serenely smile. Mornings weren’t so bad if she got to be pampered by her waifu. 

“Guys, what do you think about eating this?” Shirou came out and opened a box from the fish market, revealing an octopus inside. 

Gilgamesh and Rin froze. They both looked to Arturia, who’d gone stark white and was shaking slightly. 

“G-Get that thing out of here!” Rin yelled. 

“Yes! Put it away!” Gilgamesh agreed. 

“Huh? Why? I was thinking of using it for breakfast.” Shirou said. 

Arturia turned even paler than before at the thought of putting tentacle meat in her mouth. 

“Just fucking put it away, Shirou!” Rin screamed. 

“Use something else for breakfast!” Gilgamesh agreed. 

“You can’t do that. If she never faces her fears, how will she overcome them?” Kay said, emerging from the hallway. 

“This is all your fault, mongrel!” Gilgamesh accused. 

“Not all my fault. Arturia hated octopi even before I discovered the power of tentacle porn.” Kay said. 

“You traumatized her with something she already hated?!” 

“Of course. That’s the most efficient way to traumatize someone.” Kay said. 

“You’re evil.” Rin said. 

“True, but I’m trying to make up for my sins now in adulthood. Arturia needs to face her fears before she can overcome them. Desensitization is the way to cure an irrational phobia. That’s what they teach in therapy, which Arturia would know if she just went to a therapist like I keep recommending.” Kay said. 

“That is preposterous—!” Gilgamesh began. 

“No, he’s right.” Arturia said. “I need to face my fear.” 

“Arturia, you’re as white as a ghost right now.” Rin said. 

“I’ll be okay. I’ll prove I’m more powerful than the netherworld’s demon fish.” Arturia said. 

Kay smiled. “Alright. I know the perfect way to go about this.” 

And so now Arturia stood in the kitchen holding a butcher knife while the octopus was sitting on a cutting board. 

“On the count of three, murder the tentacle monster!” Kay said. “One—“

“AHHHHHH!!!” Arturia screamed and stabbed her knife into the head of the octopus. Once it was dead, she took a shaky step back and then fell onto the ground with tears in her eyes. “I did it!” She said. 

Gilgamesh and Rin immediately hugged her for comfort. “You did wonderful.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Great job.” Rin echoed. 

“Great. Now I’ll cook it up and make it into breakfast.” Shirou said cheerfully. 

“I have to eat that thing?!” Arturia screamed. 

“Well...that was the whole point right? We’re using it for breakfast…” 

“T-Tentacle meat in my mouth…” Arturia suddenly gagged. 

“Oh god is she gonna throw up?!” Rin said. 

“Get a bag!” Gilgamesh yelled. 

Arturia didn’t end up throwing up, but it was a rather close call. Shirou decided to make a separate meal for Arturia to eat that morning, so that she wouldn’t have to eat the octopus. 

After thanking Shirou and Rin for the meal, Arturia walked home with her brother and fiancé. Today was Sunday, so Arturia wouldn’t have to worry about school. This was a good thing since she was still recovering from the shock of having to face the tentacle monster. 

“It’s been fun, but I’ll have to leave tomorrow. I was only able to get a few days off my job.” Kay said. 

“It’s fine. I’m glad you were able to come at all. I haven’t seen you in forever.” Arturia said. 

“I wish you would have stayed in Russia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Aw, shut up Gilgamesh. We all know you love me.” Kay said. 

“I will admit that you served your purpose in this story well, but I cannot say I feel any affection toward you.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Gilgamesh is a tsundere!” Kay proclaimed. 

“I am not!” Gilgamesh said, offended. 

“Tsundereeeee!!!” Kay yelled. 

“Shut up!” 

Once they finally reached the house, Kay went immediately to watch anime on the television. Arturia brought some things to the table to study for entrance exams. Gilgamesh, not knowing what else to do, decided to play with his puppy. That day's lunch consisted of leftover pizza. 

For dinner…

“Arty, seriously, I’ll die if I have to eat a meal made by you.” Kay said. 

“You’re exaggerating.” Arturia rolled her eyes. 

“I will not tolerate choking down another mongrel-made meal that does not even taste good. I at least want my shitty meals to be made by someone worthy like Arturia.” Gilgamesh said. 

“Fine. How about this. _You_ make the meal today, Gilgamesh.” Arturia said. 

“Me?!” Gilgamesh seemed surprised. 

“Yes. That way it isn’t mongrel-made.” Arturia said. 

“As if I could bring myself as low as to cook!” Gilgamesh huffed. 

“Really? So you don’t want dessert then?” Arturia asked. 

“Dessert?” 

Arturia raised one of her shoulders and tipped her head to the side in a cute pose. “Yes, a dessert for just the two of us.” She said with a coy smile. 

Gilgamesh looked as if deeply considering something. “Fine.” He said rather quietly. “What should I make?” 

“I have recipe books on the counter. Choose a recipe from any of them, I’ll eat it as long as it doesn’t have tentacles.” Arturia said. 

Gilgamesh went into the kitchen to start working. 

“God, that was the most alpha thing I’ve ever seen.” Kay said. “I wish I was able to get someone to do whatever I want with my body!” 

“You just need to find the right sex addict.” Arturia smiled. 

Kay and Arturia waited patiently on the couch. Suddenly, something started smelling really good. The siblings looked at each other suspiciously. Finally, Gilgamesh emerged with bowls of food. He set the food down on the counter. 

“The recipe called this a pork cutlet and egg rice bowl.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia and Kay looked down at the bowls in shock. The food smelled delicious. Not only that, but the presentation was great too. It didn’t look messy at all. 

“Gilgamesh...this is your first time cooking, right?” Kay asked. 

“Yes. Well, technically I have made rice and toast before, but other than that, this is my first time.” Gilgamesh said. 

Arturia and Kay once again looked at each other suspiciously. 

“Alright. Thank you for the meal.” Kay said. 

“Thank you for the meal.” Arturia said. 

They both took a bite. 

“Wow!” Kay exclaimed. “It’s great!” 

Gilgamesh gave a smug smile. “Of course it is. I made it. 

“I won’t lie, I really thought you’d fail at this.” Kay said. 

“I have never failed at anything in my entire life.” Gilgamesh laughed. 

“What about your immortality quest?” Kay asked. 

“The immortality quest doesn’t count.” Gilgamesh said with finality. “Well, Arturia, what do you think?” He said. Truthfully, he really wanted to be praised by Arturia. 

Arturia didn’t answer, her eyes were covered by her bangs. She was shaking lightly. 

“Arturia…?” Gilgamesh asked again. 

Arturia finally looked up. There were tears in her eyes. “This...was your first time cooking...so why does it taste better than anything I’ve ever made?!” She jolted out of her seat and ran to her new room. 

“Arturia?!” Gilgamesh looked stunned. “What...what did I do?! What have I done?!” Gilgamesh said. 

“You wounded her where it counts—her pride.” Kay explained. 

“What do I do now?!” Gilgamesh asked. 

“Go tell her that you love her even if she’s a shitty cook, and let her know that everyone’s bad at something.” Kay said, continuing to eat his pork cutlet and egg bowl. 

Gilgamesh got up and ran to his shared room with Arturia. 

“Honestly, that couple. Good grief.” Kay said. 

When Arturia finally emerged from the room with Gilgamesh, her eyes were red and puffy. She sat back down at the table and took another bit of the pork cutlet and egg rice bowl. “It’s good, Gilgamesh. You did really good.” She said. 

“Thanks, Arturia.” Gilgamesh said, sitting back down with her to finish his own meal. The food was now lukewarm, but neither of them complained. 

The next morning, it was time for Kay to leave. Arturia huffed her brother and told him goodbye. 

“Are you ever going to tell me what you do for a living?” Arturia asked. 

“Nope. Just know that your brother is doing well for himself.” Kay said. “If you really do get married to this guy, I’ll be sure to come back for the wedding.” 

“Thanks, Kay.” Arturia smiled. 

And with that, Kay left. 

Arturia sighed. She’d miss her brother. It was good to see him again. It was then that she had a realization. “Gilgamesh, you have clairvoyance, right?” 

“Yes. Why?” 

“Can you tell me what Kay does as a job?” Arturia asked. 

“I should be able to do that.” Gilgamesh suddenly had a confused face. “Arturia, what is a drug lord?” 

Arturia’s jaw dropped. “KAY!” She ran to the door and threw it open, but Kay was already gone. She ran to her room and took out her cellphone, dialing her brother's number. “You’re a drug lord?!” 

Beep. 

“He hung up on me!” Arturia yelled. “Damnit! That idiot!” 

Gilgamesh didn’t understand exactly what was wrong, but assumed being a drug lord was a bad thing. 

And so, this was the start of many happy days to come. A world with no more historical kings, just a man and a woman in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...the last chapter T-T. I hope you all enjoyed this! I wanna know a few things, what was your favorite chapter, favorite running joke, favorite one-shot joke, and favorite moment? For me, my favorite chapter was chapter seven. That one was really funny. My favorite running joke was Kay sexually harassing Gilgamesh, and my favorite one-shot joke was archer Gilgamesh the tsundere masochist. My favorite moment was probably the ending after Arturia destroys the grail. So seeet Ugh! Either that or when Arturia tried to commit sepukku. That was also funny. 
> 
> Anyway, I know this is the end of Master Arturia, but I’m not finished yet! I love this too much to let it go, so soon I’ll be starting a Master Arturia Fluff series where our favorite idiots go on dates and have fun. I’ll do that...after I finish the high school au one shot I’m working on and the first chapter of my next fanfic. Haha...I’ve still got a few things left to do! 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading this! The support on this fic was amazing! I love all of you! 
> 
> And here’s a bonus fact before I go! This actually wasn’t the original ending for this fic. The original ending was a fate route ending where Gilgamesh disappears. It was supposed to be really bittersweet where Arturia accepts his proposal right before he disappears. In the end, I remembered that the sunny day ending was a thing and that it was possible for gil to stay since Arturia had enough mana. I ended up changing the ending to this since I started having ideas for a hilarious epilogue and for MA fluff I could write later. I ended up changing the ending, which was a bit hard because I actually really liked the bittersweet ending. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all! I hope you enjoyed this fic!

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s my next fic! I’m still tryna work out my other fanfiction and I haven’t abandoned it, I just hit a bit of a wall. I’ll be doing this so I can keep writing. I hope it’s as funny to y’all as it is to me! The second chapter is even better since more characters are introduced. It’s already written but I don’t feel like editing it tonight so I’ll post it tomorrow.


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